Blended (Redemption #1)

by Sasha Brümmer

  Isla starts to speak, but my focus is on Hadley as she looks from Liam to me with that smile still in place. She places her hand on top of mine, and I intertwine my fingers with hers, staking my claim.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Impeccable,” I say, endeavoring to keep the sarcasm out of my voice, but I’m certain that she notices.

  My eyes find Liam, and he nods his understanding. Don’t placate me, you fucker. I know the kind of power this woman has over a man, and he’s struggling with it. He wants to bend her over and take her from behind while I watch. It wouldn’t be the first time, but it would never happen with Hadley; I wouldn’t allow her to be touched by anyone else.

  “Uh, hello? Did anyone hear what I just said?”

  We all glance to Isla who is now downing the remainder of her tumbler as if it didn’t cost ten thousand dollars.

  “Hadley, let’s hit the waves, and let these assholes catch up.”

  I see the indecision in her face at Isla’s demand before she leans back against the cushion and pulls her sunglasses down. “I’m pretty comfortable here. I wouldn’t want to get wet and ruin this plush seat.”

  Liam’s brow perks up at her comment, and if I were able to get up and rush over to him, I’d fucking castrate him.

  Isla pouts her lips, but pours herself another drink and stands to turn the music up. “I love this song,” she yells out as she starts to dance.

  “There are some fine-ass memories associated with this one,” Liam adds.

  The song sparks up a conversation about our freshman year in college together before Liam dropped out and moved down here. Hadley is consumed in the stories that the two of them are telling her about our past. Isla is in the middle of telling her about one of the nights I was black-out drunk after being paddled by my fraternity brothers.

  “Hads, I swear, if I could have recorded it, I would have. I remember him just lying in the front yard of his frat house with his head under the bushes. He was completely passed out without his pants on.”

  I watch Hadley’s face light up, and she squeezes my hand at Isla’s story of one of my many drunken nights with my frat.

  “How do you have the capacity to remember all of this, Isla? I’m sure that you were just as drunk that night, if not worse,” Liam adds.

  “I have a picture, that’s how.”

  “Ah, sweet blackmail.”

  “Don’t I know it.” She gives me a wicked grin and holds up her tumbler to me in cheers.

  I remain quiet as Liam keeps his eyes dancing up Hadley’s bare legs. I grind my teeth together in an attempt not to say anything throughout our time together.

  The afternoon passes, and between the four of us—and by four of us I mean mostly Isla and Liam—we have finished half a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle’s Family Reserve, a 20-year-old straight bourbon whiskey with a smooth and rich profile.

  Hadley is leaning back against me in the dark as I run my fingers up and down her ribcage. I think that she’s got a buzz going on because she’s been getting handsy with me throughout the evening. I’ve noticed that it’s the one thing that she doesn’t do in public. She doesn’t mind my kissing her, but when we’re around people we know, she tends to keep her hands to herself, and I’m unsure how I feel about it. She slides her hand down my torso, running her fingers along the ridges that outline each muscle. She’s been doing it for about fifteen minutes now, and I’ve been enjoying Liam throw me glances of disbelief.

  “I believe that I need to pee,” she says with a giggle and sits up. “Isla, would you mind showing me to the bathroom?”

  I watch as Isla stumbles to her feet and holds out her hand to my girl. “Follow me, Hads.”

  Hadley takes her hand as they walk inside and out of my sight.

  “So you and the girl, huh?”

  The right corner of my lips turns up with the knowledge that he finally fucking understands that she’s mine. “Indeed. It took you a while to catch on. Keep that cock to yourself.”

  “Fuck off, dude. I thought that you brought her here to share. You know, like the good ole’ days? Fuck, do you remember the time you and Isla banged like fucking drums when you were piss-drunk at my farewell party? I figured that the two of you would end up together . . . fuck, everyone in our freshman year was waiting for you to get down on one knee. You two were a sure thing.”

  “What?”

  I turn around in time to see Hadley’s face fall. Fuck me.

  “Rye . . .”

  “I, uhm, I just had to grab my purse.” She picks up her Burberry that I bought for her and quickly makes her escape. I reach out for the cane that I’ve been using to get around instead of a boxed walker.

  “Dude, where’s the fire?”

  “You just fucking lit one,” I say as I struggle to get my legs to cooperate. I need to go after her. I need to know that she’s okay. Fuck, the look on her face tore me in half.

  By the time I’ve managed to stand—without Liam’s help—Isla comes back outside, humming to the song coming from the speakers.

  “Where’s Rye?”

  “Uhm. I don’t know.” She shrugs and takes a drink. “She said that she had to come and get her purse, but then she never came back. So she must be lost in the house somewhere. You know how big this place is.”

  I blow out the anger that has made its way through my body and slip my phone out of my pocket. I pull up her number and hit dial. I wait, and wait, but it eventually goes to voicemail.

  “I need to go, Isla. Please go look . . .” I stop, remember what Hadley had just heard. Isla can’t be the one to find her. Not now.

  My phone vibrates in my hand, and I glance down at the text message from Hadley: I just need time.

  Where are you? I type out and hit send as I take slow, but calculated steps toward the house.

  Does it matter?

  I groan as my legs won’t move me fast enough to her: Yes, it fucking matters. Where are you, Hadley?

  I need to be alone.

  No. I need you to be with me. I will walk this entire house until I find you. Rye, please. Allow me the chance to explain.

  I walk into the open living room area and glance around the open-plan house for any signs of her when I hear her sniffle. The sound of it churns my soul.

  “Baby?”

  Silence.

  The cane clicks against the tiled floors as I struggle to the center of the room.

  “I texted Colin,” she says.

  I turn in the direction of her voice to find her standing in a doorway, her shoulders sagging with an emotion that I’m unable to place.

  “Rye, baby. Come here.”

  She shakes her head back and forth. “I’m going to head back to the hotel. Enjoy the rest of your evening,” she says to me as she walks down the hallway and toward the front door. I know that I won’t be able to walk fast enough to catch her, and it only angers me more. I grunt as I take a step toward her, but when I hear the door open and close, I take a seat on the nearest couch.

  “Where did she go?” Isla asks from the entrance to the patio.

  I shrug and run my hand through my hair. “Call a cab. We’re leaving.”

  “I was actually going to . . .” she stops when I glance up at her. “All right.”

  Hadley’s leaving packed a powerful punch. I have to suppress the violent impulses coursing through me now to go after Liam. He must have seen her standing behind me, but he went for it regardless. This fucker is trying to ruin what I have with her just so he can bury his cock inside of what belongs to me. The rage doesn’t subside as Isla helps me get settled in the cab and Liam nods his head toward me. “It was good seeing you two fuckers. I’ll see you soon.”

  I pull the door shut before my mouth spews words that I will be unable to take back. I understand that he’s had more than his fair share of liquor, but he still should have known better. Isla gets in beside me, and the cab takes off.

  “Are you going to tell me what happened? I may be more tha
n a little drunk, but I can still speak English.”

  “Rye just found out that you and I fucked.”

  “She w-what?” she stutters. “How?”

  “Liam.”

  “God, he’s still such a pig. We’ll find her, Brass.”

  If Hadley is made of glass then I’m holding a handful of the broken shards, cutting and splintering my palm. The look in her eyes told me that she was essentially shattered. My head drops back on the headrest as we make our way across the city and to our hotel. My luck, though, we get stuck on an interstate behind an accident, allotting her more time to run.

  “Hey, I’m glad that I got ahold of you. Are you too busy to talk?”

  “Nah, not for you. What’s up? I’ve missed you around these parts.”

  I know that I shouldn’t be talking to Holden, but I just need to be comforted, and Lola is apparently too consumed with work and her designs to answer my S.O.S text and phone call.

  “It’s good to know that I’m missed.”

  “Possibly more than you are aware of.”

  “I think that I’m ready to come home. What are you doing?”

  I won’t tell him my reason for calling or why I’m upset. I just need to talk to someone right now to distract myself and not do anything stupid like walking down to the bar and sucking off the first man that I come into contact with.

  “Right now, I just got back from the gym, and I was about to head out to mail you something. Lola gave me the address where you’re staying. I hope that’s okay.”

  “Oh. Wait, don’t send it. I just left that hotel. I’m thinking about flying home.”

  The minute I got back to the hotel, I calmly packed up all of my shit before leaving Wade a note. Am I being unreasonable and possibly childish? Maybe, but I have my reasons. I’ve literally given up a life back home in Chicago for him, and he has yet to open up to me as he said he has. I think that sleeping with a woman that I’ve been around a lot lately would be something that you would tell your girlfriend.

  But why would I know this shit? It’s not like I date exclusively. I fought with myself as I wrote him that simple note. We might have a lot of history now, but it’s nothing compared to what he and Isla share. She’s right for him according to Liam, and I don’t blame him for thinking so. She pulls him out of himself, and I think that is what ultimately helped me decide to pull away tonight. There is someone better out there for him than me. I’m not it for him. I can’t be because it just doesn’t make sense. Regardless, Liam’s comment helped me to solidify this decision.

  “You are?” I hear the hope and excitement in Holden’s voice. It’s dirty and raw, and I know that he wants to fuck me. At least that makes one man.

  “I think so. I just need to find a flight. It won’t be for a day or two, but I’ll give you my flight information once I have it.”

  “I could pick you up.”

  “I think I’d like that.”

  Holden might not be a man who brings me flowers or sets my heart on fire, but he’ll give me what I want and need on a physical level.

  “Miss Rye?” my name is called out, and I glance up from my seat in the lobby of a hotel closer to the airport. “I have to run, Hold. I’ll text you soon, okay?”

  “Sounds good, Hads. Later.”

  I grab my purse and walk up to the check-in desk where the clerk hands me a room key. “Sorry for the delay, but your room is now ready.”

  “Thank you.”

  I’ve been a passenger for over eighteen hours, and I have made no effort to contact Waylon Brass in three days.

  My phone has been off since I placed a call to Holden. The only other time I turned it on was when I sent Hold my flight details. Needless to say that it froze at least three times while it played catch up to Wade’s onslaught of messages. I read through some of them, but not many. I shut my eyes as I remember his words, message after message, on my screen.

  —Hadley, you cannot fucking disappear in a foreign country.

  —Goddamn it. What the fuck do I have to do to have you back?

  —Your note killed me.

  —I should have told you. I apologize for being the asshole I know I am.

  Each of them came through out of order, and I detested the last one. He’s not an asshole, not even close. Should he have told me? Absolutely. But is he an asshole for sleeping with her all of those years ago? No. Not in the slightest. The two of us share an illness when it comes to sex, so I understand.

  I did not leave him because of those two points. I left him because I came to the realization that Isla would be a better match for him in the long run. You know, best friends falling in love and all. They just haven’t seen it yet . . . but I have.

  My body jolts as my final flight touches down at Chicago O’Hare. It’s now that I realize that he won’t be running after me because, once again, he can’t. Dr. Heath won’t clear him to fly for at least another three weeks.

  I’m walking—not running but walking—away from the man I love because I believe that there is always going to be someone better than me for him. If I’m honest with myself, I’ve already gotten over the simple secret that he kept from me, but it made me realize that I’ll hold him back in life. It’s the hardest thing that I’ll ever do to walk away from him.

  I hold my head high as I stride through the airport terminal and out toward baggage claim where I’m met with Holden’s open arms.

  “I would like to say that you should go away more often because you’re fucking sexy as hell coming back to me . . . but I’d prefer if you stayed here.”

  “Hi, Hold.”

  “What’s up, beautiful?”

  His arms come around me, and I speak against his shoulder. “Thank you for coming to get me. I hate the cabs in Chicago.”

  “It’s no problem at all. Let’s grab your bag and get out of this madness. This fucking airport is constantly overcrowded.”

  I laugh at how ridiculous he is. “I think that I missed your cocky self.”

  As the words leave my lips, I recall what Wade said about missing someone who doesn’t belong to you. He can’t miss me now, and the same thing applies vice-versa.

  Holden takes my hand and leads me out of the airport while he rolls my suitcase next to him. “Does Lola know that you’re coming back?”

  “Nope. I’m surprising her, so you better not have mentioned it to her.”

  “Cool those pretty tits of yours. I haven’t said a word.”

  An hour through Chicago traffic later, Holden helps me get my crap into my bedroom. Once I’m settled, he blatantly attacks me by pushing me back onto my bed and pinning me down.

  “What are you—?”

  He reaches between my legs and I shy away from him, pulling his forearm until he dislodges his hand. “I, uhm, I’m on my period.”

  Lie.

  “Fuck,” he says as he climbs off of me and strides to the door. “Text me when you’re DTF.”

  When I’m down to fuck? Seriously? “Sure thing.”

  I roll over onto my stomach once he leaves and huff loudly, blowing a strand of my curls out of my face. I knew that sleeping with him the first time would come back to bite me. I’m surprised that he threw himself on me, though. Surely that’s not the only reason that he came to collect me from the airport?

  I throw my forearm over my eyes in an attempt to stop the tears that threaten to take over.

  I’ve been back on US soil for approximately twenty-four hours while my heart is on the other side of the world. It’s an odd sensation being separated from an organ that beats within you but isn’t present. I sigh as I apply the last bit of mascara to my lashes before turning my head from side to side in the mirror, inspecting my handiwork. With a large amount of concealer and foundation, I’ve managed to cover up the dark circles under my eyes for this party that Lola has decided to throw. Apparently, it’s been in the works for weeks, but I’ve been too preoccupied with Wade to even realize the date.

  This evening, Novembe
r 2nd, we’ll be celebrating her twenty-seventh birthday, and I swear that she’s invited the entire city of Chicago. Her apartment might be large, but with over sixty people inside, it feels cramped and stuffy. She went all out for it, though; there are two bartenders and catered food. I walk out of my bedroom and shut the door behind me as I make my way through the throngs of people to the small hors d’oeuvres station that is set up in the kitchen.

  I dip a crostini into the baked crab dip and moan when the tastes explode in my mouth before I’m pulled in another direction with Lola. “Hadley, this is . . .”

  I zone out. I don’t even remember the guy she introduced me to before I disappeared back into my bedroom to apply some more makeup because I felt like I was being stared at. All I can remember of him is that he shared Wade’s hair color. I excuse myself and make my way across the room and to one of the bars, ordering a glass of Champagne. Just the thought of whiskey makes my heart sink into my stomach. I take a long drink before I allow myself to breathe again.

  “There she is,” Owen says to me as he approaches. “Lola wanted me to introduce you to my buddy Ford.”

  “Oh, hi, it’s nice to meet you,” I say as I shake his hand.

  “You too. Owen has told me a few things about you,” Ford says in a tenor voice.

  “He has?”

  What the crap would Owen have to say about me other than I used to fuck his older brother?

  “Hadley.” I look toward Holden’s voice just as he sweeps me up into a hug.

  Thank God. I throw my arms around him in an embrace in an attempt to make Ford uncomfortable. It seems to work when he walks off toward the bar I just left.

  “Hi, Hold.”

  “That guy is a fucking douche, and if you fuck him, my cock is going nowhere near that sweet pussy of yours.”

  My eyes bug out as he makes his statement a little louder than necessary. I get a few glances from the women around me, all of whom work with Lola. Great, I’m sure that they will be talking for the remainder of the year about the blonde who doesn’t know how to keep her legs closed.