Blended (Redemption #1)

by Sasha Brümmer

  “Good. Isla, would you mind staying with her while I get this session over with?”

  “You didn’t have to ask. Go before Olga marches her ass up here to kick you into shape.”

  “Fuck off,” I tell her and grab my sneakers from the closet before making my way downstairs to greet my new specialist.

  I struggle through the first thirty minutes, and she doesn’t seem too thrilled with my physical history over the last twenty-four hours. I don’t apologize. It has nothing to do with her.

  Isla comes down forty-five minutes into the session. “Brass? She’s awake.”

  I start to unstrap the monitors, and I’m met with a glare. “I’m cutting today short. I will see you earlier tomorrow morning.”

  If I could sprint up the stairs I would, but instead, I take them slowly with Isla by my side. “You need your rest, Brass. She needs you to be rested.”

  “She won’t want to be around me once she’s given the okay to go home.”

  “I doubt that. Pull your head out of your ass, will ya? This may very well be your last shot with her. Don’t waste it by sitting in the corner and pouting like the pussy that you’ve become.”

  All true.

  We enter my bedroom, and her head moves to the side lazily to see who has come into the room. I walk to the end of the bed and take in the sight of her. The daylight that is streaming through the open curtains shows me exactly how bruised up she is. Aside from the marks that I found on her last night, her lips seem to be an odd shade, and she has dark bags underneath her eyes.

  Through all of it, though, she’s still the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. The only woman I have ever loved. The only woman that I would lay my life on the line for.

  “Hadley.” I walk to the side of the bed, and she reaches her hand up for me. I take her one hand in the both of mine and bring it to my lips.

  “What happened?” she asks in a faint voice.

  I make eye contact with the doctor. “Why don’t we let the kind doctor explain?”

  I let go of her hand to move across the room, but there’s panic on her face the second I take a step back from her.

  “Please—” she chokes out.

  “I’m not leaving, Rye.” I take a seat in the chair that Jacobs provided and allow the doctor to explain what I walked in on and what has happened since. How her body has reacted to the drugs, as well as how she’ll need to stay in bed for the remainder of the day.

  “Where is he?” she asks me, her eyes locking with mine.

  I uncross my leg and remove my hand that was covering my mouth before speaking. “He’s in police custody. You have nothing to worry about, Rye. I won’t let him hurt you again.”

  “You’ve got me?” she asks me hesitantly.

  I search her eyes, waiting to see a glimpse of indecision at the words she just said, but when I find nothing but hurt and truth in them, I tell her exactly how I feel in the short phrase. “I’ve got you.”

  “What about Isla? I thought that the two of you would have been something by now.”

  She’s not making sense, but I answer her question. “There has never been more than friendship between Isla and myself.”

  “All right.” She swallows slowly before she sits up and winces, then moves her hand to her hip. “Can I take a shower?”

  The doctor answers, “Yes. My nurse will be up shortly to assist you. I’d prefer if you weren’t alone for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours.”

  “All right. I was . . . uhm . . . Wade?”

  “What is it?”

  “I want . . . would you mind?”

  “I’ll stay with her. We’ve had enough nurses around us these past few months to last a lifetime.”

  “All right. You have my number if you two need anything. I’ll be back to check on you in a day,” he says as he disconnects her IV, removing it from her arm.

  “Thank you,” she says to him, but her eyes don’t leave mine as he packs up his things once again and leaves with Isla.

  I get up and walk across the room to shut the door when she speaks, and I’m startled by the panic in her voice. “Please, Wade, don’t go.”

  I close the door before turning to look at her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  She pushes herself up farther until she’s got her legs off the side of the bed. She stands and my shirt falls into place over her bruised, skin. She’s hesitant as she steps toward me. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For coming to get me. I don’t remember much of anything. I just remember praying for someone to stop whatever he had planned.”

  I move toward her as she does me, but we stop a breath apart from each other. “I didn’t get there soon enough.”

  “You still came. After how I left you, I thought that you wouldn’t . . .”

  “Never assume that. Now tell me, what is the last thing that you remember?”

  She keeps her distance as she tries to remember the last thing. “I remember texting you, and then he forced something into my mouth, which took a while to dissolve.” She scrunches her brow in thought. “I think he fed me some drinks, but that’s all that I can recall, until, well, until waking up a few minutes ago.”

  “There’s nothing else?”

  “No. I don’t even remember him taking me to the bathroom or how he got me semi-undressed. I just . . . there’s nothing. It’s all so overwhelming.”

  “You don’t remember what else he may have done to you?”

  She shakes her head and folds her arms over her chest as if she’s trying to protect herself. “I mean, I’m angry for being so vulnerable, and I think I’m still in shock that he did all of this to me, but I only have myself to blame for it. I shouldn’t have been out with him alone.”

  I start to reach for her hand, but I stop and pull away. “None of this is your fault. It was beyond your control, and you should not now nor ever feel as if you allowed it to happen.”

  She shrugs and sighs heavily before dropping her arms. “I’ll get through it, just as I have before. I may be bruised, bleeding, and sore, but at least I don’t have the distinct memories that I have from my past encounters with men like him.”

  “Don’t allow his fuck-up to mess with your head. The doctor said that I got to you before any serious damage was done, as well as before he was able to climax in his rape. I wanted to reassure you that he was wearing a condom.”

  “Oh. Well, that’s something, I guess. I’m not exactly sure where to go from here. It feels like I’m starting over again, as if I’ve been pushed over a ledge and been told to free fall on my own again.”

  I step toward her and pull her body against mine. “I’ve got you.”

  She wraps her arms around my neck and clings onto me like she did the first time I took her out. “I’ve missed you,” she whispers against my chest. It’s barely audible, but I hear her.

  I press my lips to the top of her head and breathe her in. “I’ve missed you, Rye. You won’t have to go through any of this alone.”

  She sighs into my chest and looks up at me with tears in her eyes. “What happens next?”

  “First, I get you cleaned up and help you forget, and then you’re stuck with me by your side for at least two days. After that, if you decide that you’d rather leave again, then you leave.”

  She shakes her head up at me and leans up on her toes to place her lips against mine. I can feel my heart strike against my chest as our lips move together, but I pull back when I realize what is going on.

  “Hadley. You need to stop.”

  “Stop what?” she asks as I lead her to the shower.

  “I won’t be your coping mechanism.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “After last night. I won’t be a replacement for the pain.”

  “Wade. You’re not. I . . .”

  “No. I am. I’ll call Lola and have her come and collect you.” Fuck me if that didn’t kill me—the realization of it.

  “Brass?” Is
la calls out as I step from the bathroom and away from the woman I love.

  “Isla. Do me a favor?”

  “Uh, do I want to know?”

  “I just need you to stay in there while she showers.”

  “Why? Is your cock going to explode if you see her naked?”

  “No. I need to call her roommate to come and collect her.”

  “Why? I thought you wanted to be with her.”

  “You know that more than anyone, Isla, but I won’t allow myself to be an addiction to her. I’ve spoken to you in regard to her illness, and she just pushed herself onto me.”

  “How do you know that it was the illness and not that she just wants to be with you? You haven’t seen her in weeks. Hell, it’s more like two months.”

  “I don’t know, and that’s why I need to walk away.”

  “Wade, don’t do that to yourself.”

  “I’m not. I’m doing it for her,” I tell her as I walk out of my bedroom and downstairs to the spot where I left her purse when we came in last night.

  I made sure not to be there when she was done cleaning up. After I called Lola from her phone and informed her of the situation, she said that she and Holden would be over shortly. The knowledge that she’s with another man right now, one that she might successfully seduce, has left me empty.

  I’m now seated at my desk at Brass Global for the first time in months as I try to distract myself from the events of the last day. I’ve contacted human resources to let them know that I want to terminate Lawson Stafford’s employment effective immediately. I’ve also spoken to the police about pressing charges against the bastard. In addition, I’ve made certain that Adriana will receive her raise. It’s one hell of a salary, and she will soon be getting an email regarding it.

  My mother came by for lunch in my office earlier as well. She was beaming when she saw me back at my desk and in a place where I belong. She’s asked me about Christmas, and what my plans are, but I don’t have the energy to think about it. It’s a couple of days away, and the furthest thing from my mind. I told her that I’d join her at her home, though.

  She asked about Hadley, but I chose not to speak of her. Those stories are for her to tell others as they do not belong to me. They might scar my memory, but they have permanently scarred her body. Her heart. After my mother left, Isla called to inform me that the doctor had gotten back to me with the results of Hadley’s blood tests. She had ingested a large amount of Rohypnol. Anger is still pumping through my blood with the knowledge of what he did to her, and what more he was planning to do if I’d decided not to go to her.

  I’m having a difficult time dealing with this, unsure of how she must be feeling. I push the thought aside, and manage to bring myself back to the present.

  I’ve been watching the sun slowly set over a white Chicago. The snow has let up now, but it’s predicted that we’ll get hit once again this evening. I stand and move to the glass that separates me from the normal down below.

  I reach for the phone that usually sits in my pocket when I realize that I’ve given it to Adriana to keep once again in an attempt to get my life back on the track that it once was.

  There’s a knock on my door before it swings open and I turn to see who interrupted the solemn moment. “Mr. Brass?” Adriana walks in with two officers behind her. “These gentlemen would like a word with you in regard to Lawson Stafford.”

  “Very well. Hold all of my calls.”

  “Yes, sir. You also have another visitor who does not have an appointment to see you afterward,” she says as she closes my office door. I turn to the men and gesture to the two chairs in front of my desk

  “Good evening, gentlemen. Please, have a seat.”

  By the time my personal interrogation is over, and the investigators have enough information to file charges against Stafford, I’m satisfied. His trial date will be expedited and bail will in all likelihood be denied. Following the trial and his certain conviction, he will be sent to prison for up to ten years. I had my lawyers on the call at one point to have them remove him from Brass Global entirely as well as to change Stafford’s Casino and Resort’s name to Brass Casino and Resort. There will be a press release going out about it tomorrow morning, and I cannot wait for this fucker to get what he deserves. By the time they leave, it’s past ten in the evening, and a new blizzard has overtaken the city. The only thing that I am able to see through my windows is the cascade of snowflakes as they hide the city behind a dense blanket of white.

  The thought of returning home and having to sleep in a bed that smells of Hadley guts me, so I choose to stay at Brass Global for the evening. I push open the door, deciding to collect my phone from Adriana’s desk, when I’m greeted with the silhouette of a woman standing across the now-dark room. The reflected lights from the city light her up from behind, and I’m fixated on her.

  It’s only now that I remember Adriana saying that I had a guest waiting for me once I finished with the officers.

  She turns when she hears my footsteps against the flooring as I take a hesitant step toward her. Hadley. I raise my eyebrows in disbelief. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

  “Hi, Whiskey.” She walks toward me before stopping few feet away, keeping a safe distance.

  “How long have you been here?”

  “Uh, I arrived just as the police officers did.”

  “You should get home. The storm won’t let up until the morning, and I believe that you’re not supposed to be alone.”

  She shifts her position and pushes a curl out of her face. “I’d rather be stuck in the same place as you, Wade.”

  “Hadley, I told you that I refuse to be a coping mechanism. You’ve been through more than your fair share of pain, but I cannot be a simple moment of relief for you.”

  “I don’t want you to be. I, uhm, I think I automatically went there this morning, and if you hadn’t stopped me, then I would have slipped up. But you did stop me, and in that moment I realized that I still mean something to you, or you could have just gone with it. You didn’t just want me for what I was offering.”

  She looks up at me before continuing. “You want more from me.”

  “You’ve always meant more to me than a physical act, and you still do.”

  “I know, but it made me realize that maybe I may still mean something to you after being so foolish.” She pauses for a moment and glances down at her feet, and then back up at me. “Wade?”

  “What is it?”

  She takes a hesitant step toward me again and then glances down at her feet once more when she says, “I do miss you. I made a mistake in leaving, and I regret it immensely.”

  Her confession derails me. I’ve known that she’ll always mean something to me, but I never thought that she would regret leaving me or that she would still want to be with me. She’s had two months to get over me and move on, but by the look of it, she’s done neither.

  “Come here,” I instruct her.

  No matter how much effort I put into it, I cannot stay away from her. There’s always been something different about her, and I deserve to have her—I want her. She also deserves the happiness that came of our relationship.

  She doesn’t move when I ask her to come to me, so I take the steps that separate us and tilt her chin up until she’s looking into my eyes. “I’ve missed you, Hadley. You have to know that.”

  She purses her lips at my confession and slowly reaches out to rest her hand on my chest. I watch her closely as her body language changes from closed off and petrified to open and clean by setting aside the hurt and betrayal and her beaten soul.

  “I need you. Some days I just need you more than others, and today is one of those days.”

  There’s something beautiful about her needing me. She’s always been self-assured and guarded, but her telling me that she needs me is her way of letting me in. I reach for her hand, and she allows me to intertwine my fingers with hers as I pull her toward me. “Do you want me?”

&nb
sp; She’s made herself susceptible, showing me her strength, courage, and dignity. She may not realize exactly how sensitive she is, but it provides me with many more reasons to treasure and love her deeply.

  “No, Whiskey, it’s more than a want. I feel empty without you. I don’t know how I have been living without you. Nobody sees or knows just how much you affect my life. You uncovered the real me, and I don’t want to experience this me without you any longer. I can’t bear it.”

  The reality is that I’ve felt very similar feelings. I’ve fought with myself to come up with different excuses for the void, but once you’ve met the strongest person you know and that person heals you without your knowledge, it’s difficult to ignore. She’s the purest form of love that I will ever experience.

  “Let me fill that emptiness inside you, Rye.” I take her lips, stealing her breath while her defenses are down. I feel her break underneath my lips as she kisses me back with more self-assurance than I have seen in her before.

  She breaks away from our kiss to speak. “I shouldn’t have left you when you needed me.”

  “Shh, Rye. All that matters right now is that you are in my arms. It’s where you belong.”

  Her tears start to flow as she leans her head against my chest, allowing her emotions from the last two months to take over. I risk injury as I lift her in my arms and carry her toward a single wingback seat in my office, closing the door behind me as I do. I take a seat with her in my lap and pull her body as close to mine as humanly possible.

  “I’m sor-ry,” she stutters through her tears.

  “You need to understand that I refuse to let you run again. This is it, Hadley. You’re mine, and I won’t share you with another.”

  “You’re the only one that I belong to—belong with. I’m in love with you, Waylon Brass. I haven’t stopped because I can’t. I don’t know how to live without you anymore.”

  “I know. I love you, Rye.” My chest aches with her spoken words. I don’t need anything but her tonight, and I need to show her exactly what she means to me. I need to give her a reason to stay.

  We haven’t said much to each other since our confession of love a few moments ago. He makes the notion of love believable, as well as something that I want to be involved in. Yes, it comes with those sticky residual emotions, but I don’t mind them when he has his arms locked around me. Blended might be his safe place, but he’s mine.