Blended (Redemption #1)

by Sasha Brümmer

  The past two months have been filled with mistakes and regrets. I don’t think that I have ever hated myself so much before. I ran away from the one thing, the one person, who made my life worth living. I’ve had a lot of time to think over the reasons as to why I ran from him, but none of it makes any sense now. All of the reasons why I told myself that I needed to leave seem trivial today. None of them even matter anymore because when I’m with him, he makes me forget about the negativity that has consumed my life. I ran from the love, comfort, and security that he unselfishly provided me, but now I want it back—all of it and more.

  I feel him nuzzle me as I watch the confetti-sized snowflakes fall from his windows in the sky. His grip on me hasn’t loosened for a second, and I think that he believes that I will leave as soon as I’m given the option to again, but I won’t.

  “Thank you,” he says softly into my ear.

  Goose bumps break out over my skin as his breath caresses it. He makes me feel alive. “For what?”

  “For coming back to me.”

  “I wouldn’t have been able to stay away even if I tried, which I did.”

  “I’ll make it worth your while, Rye.”

  “You already have.” I twist in his arms to face him, and it’s now that I notice how exhausted he looks. Behind it all, though, he looks content, unlike the brooding billionaire that I saw earlier this evening.

  “Us, Hadley, is something that I believe in, and I’ll stand by you through the hard times as you have for me. I’ll sacrifice myself and compromise anything that I need to so I can be with you. You rescued me, and discovered different parts to me that I didn’t know were there, and you gave me everything that I needed. I want all of that back. Please, tell me that you’ll give me this last chance.”

  My love for him wasn’t anything instant; it’s been a gradual uphill that I hadn’t noticed until I started to run in the opposite direction and down the steep slope. I slide my hand through his hair before loosening his tie and undoing the top button on his shirt. “I want to be, without question, everything that you’ve ever wanted in a woman.”

  “Here’s the thing, though. You are exceedingly greater than any of my previous expectations.”

  I can’t help but smile and press my lips against his sculpted jaw, his stubble teasing my bruised lips. When our lips part and I undo the knot in his tie, he simply stares down at me, never once looking up or at anything else in the room, as he watches my fingers move against the silky material. He makes me feel treasured.

  “You’re staring,” I say softly as I pull his tie off from around his neck and drape it over the arm of the chair.

  “You’re too beautiful not to, and I haven’t seen you in months, so you need to allow me this opportunity to take you in.”

  “I’m covered in bruises, Wade. I—” My mind takes me back to the bar’s bathroom where I was able to hear grunts, but my body wouldn’t allow me the luxury of pushing through the sedative’s powers.

  “Hadley. Be present and stay with me.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say, trying to come back from the recent memories. We fall back into a comfortable silence as we watch the snow falling. He’s shown me ways to love that I didn’t know existed, and he’s made sure that I’ve been able to overcome my past. For a moment, I lost faith in what I had with him as well as how he felt about me, but I won’t let that happen again.

  Staying away from him has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and it has required strength, courage, and faith in myself that I wasn’t aware I harbored. He’s helped me to change the direction of my life when everything was falling apart faster than I could fix it, and he did not even have to be present. Now that I feel as if that time is over, I cannot imagine living another second without him at my side. I need this man. I need him more than I’ve ever needed anyone.

  I clear my throat to speak. “How’s your back?”

  He shifts me on his lap until I’m looking up into his seaside eyes again. “I have my moments. When I overwork my body, it aches, or a pain shoots up through my spine, but I’m able to walk again, which gives me nothing to complain about.”

  “I was concerned about you.”

  “As I was about you.”

  Silence settles over us again for a few minutes before he speaks again. “Answer me this one question, Rye.”

  “All right.”

  “Apart from what you went through last night, have you been with another man?” His jaw is tense, and I can tell that this is weighing heavily on him even though we’ve just agreed to be with each other again.

  “No,” I tell him honestly, “you’re the only one that I’ve wanted to be with, both sexually and in general.”

  He shuts his eyes as if my reassurance vanquishes his deepest demons. “Lola brought that Holden guy to collect you from my residence earlier today.”

  “I was just as shocked as I’m sure you must have been. Hold and I are friends, and that’s where the line is drawn.”

  “Are you certain?”

  “Yes, Waylon Brass. I want to be with you. What about that don’t you understand?” I smack his chest, and he captures my wrist in his hand.

  “I needed you to be positive.”

  “I’ve already told you that I am.” I kiss his jaw in an attempt to dull the riled-up emotions he’s trying to rid himself of. I move my lips up to his, kissing him intently.

  We don’t talk. We just act, finding solace in one another.

  His lips have hardly left mine since I told him that I was certain that I wanted to be with him, regardless of how swollen mine are. It’s because of him that I made mistakes, that I’m vulnerable. He makes me feel worthwhile and valuable.

  My lips have gone numb from his assault as they try to recover from Lawson’s bruises, but I choose to ignore the slight discomfort because Wade is all that I want. He’s what I need.

  “I think that we’re stuck here tonight,” I tell him as we take a second apart to breathe.

  “Possibly, but I’m sure that we’ll be able to make something work.”

  “If I remember correctly, Dr. Heath said that you shouldn’t be seated for too long, and you’ve probably been in your office all day.”

  “You’re right.” He pats my ass for me to stand and I do. I watch as he gets up slowly, obviously in pain. “We can make it to the hotel a block away.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I need to lie down and rest my back,” he says as he takes my hand and leads me to the coat rack in his office. I watch him pull out a small black medical bag, which he unzips and takes two pills out of a white container before returning it to his closet. He walks over to the wet bar in the corner and takes the medication with a bottle of water before returning to me. He pulls out a coat and drapes it around my shoulders and then takes one out for himself, pulling it up his arms and then buttoning it. Our fingers lace together as we leave his office and head out into the winter storm.

  Thirty minutes later, I’m shivering and watching him pull his shirt off. He got us a room at the Ritz-Carlton, which is only a block down from his building and a few more from Blended. He catches me staring when he looks up to undo the button on his slacks. I watch as he steps out of them until he’s wearing nothing but his boxer briefs. I let out an unsteady breath as I take his jacket off and hang it up in the closet before coming to stand in front of him and pulling my leather jacket and crop sweater off before undoing my black skinny jeans and sliding them down my legs. He takes a step toward me and offers me his white button-down without a word.

  I take it and drape it over my shoulders before pushing my arms into the sleeves. It’s warm from the heat of his body and it wraps me in his scent, something that I’ve missed terribly. He’s standing in front of me as he watches me first undress and then don his shirt. I move to the bed once I have it on and pull the sheets back before climbing under the soft white comforter to warm up.

  “Are you comfortable?” he asks me as I settle in and adju
st the pillow, turning to look at him as he lies down beside me. He reaches over and takes my hand.

  “I am.” I pull the covers over our joint hands to keep the heat under the comforter. “Please don’t let me go.”

  “Not even in my dreams, Rye.” He leans over and pulls me into his side of the bed, embracing me in his warmth. I curl up against him and sigh contentedly when I feel his skin on mine. I’m back home, the home whose heart beats for me.

  “’Night, Whiskey.”

  “Goodnight, Rye.”

  His breathing shallows out almost immediately, and I’m unable to contain the smile on my face as I lay a kiss against his bare chest before snuggling a little closer. I’d never have expected to be in a relationship, let alone with Chicago’s most eligible bachelor. Yet here I am with him again in the dark.

  In the middle of my addiction-driven prison, life plopped me into a fairytale and gave me an opportunity to explore what it meant to be with someone, what it meant to fall in love and be unable to let go of the sentiment.

  He’s quickly become my unexpected love—love that isn’t practical. I doubt that it ever will be. He’s been the light to pull me out of my darkness without having to take me to another place as his seaside eyes wash away my pain. He’s engraved himself into my heart and lightened my bruises and scars. I don’t think that I’ll be able to turn and walk away from him again.

  An hour or two passes before I’m able to put my demons to rest for the night and shut my eyes as I drift to sleep effortlessly for the first time in months.

  I stir when I feel his lips trailing up the column of my neck, his warm breath waking me from a deep sleep. My eyes flutter open as he brings his lips to meet mine. A sleepy smile is on his face as I awaken but I feel as if I’ve only slept for an hour.

  “Hi,” I say as I stretch out underneath him, parts of my body still stiff from being used in the utmost vile way the night before. I choose to ignore it and allow myself to get lost in Wade’s touch.

  “You’re gorgeous. Do you know that?”

  I can’t help the blush that makes its way onto my cheeks. “Thank you. Do you have to go to work?” I ask with a yawn as he moves to hover over me.

  “Not when I have my girl in bed with me, and not when it’s barely four in the morning.”

  “Oh,” I say, slightly confused as he brushes his lips along the line of my jaw and toward my ear.

  “Take a chance with me.”

  I draw in a breath when his teeth nip at my earlobe before he makes his way down my neck, placing light bites as he goes and then caressing the same skin with his lips with an apologetic kiss.

  “Wade,” I moan while trying to fill my lungs with a sufficient amount of oxygen so I’m able to speak, but nothing more comes out as his static touch burns me.

  His hands trail down my body, meticulously undoing each button on his shirt before pushing the comforter off of us.

  “I woke up thinking that you weren’t next to me . . . that you ran from me again. I cannot fathom that happening again, so I’m going to give you what you need, what we both want. I need you to understand exactly how much you mean to me. I love you, Hadley. Now let me show you.”

  I gasp as he pulls the cups of my bra down, which in turn pushes up my breasts, displaying my now peaked nipples perfectly for him. He gently places his lips on my collarbone as he kisses from one side and then to the other before lowering his mouth to my nipple. He takes my peak between his lips before surrounding me with the warmth of his mouth. He starts to suck me gently before he applies pressure from his teeth and tugs. I squirm underneath him and wail in pleasure.

  “Whiskey.”

  “You taste unbelievable, Rye, and I’m going to show you exactly how a man in love makes his girlfriend fall apart.”

  “Please,” I whimper as he takes my other nipple into his mouth and proceeds to do the exact same thing as he did with the other.

  “We’ll go slowly, baby. I’m going to see you like this for the first time, and I’m going to savor every second of it.”

  I nod and reach around my body to free myself from the constrictions of my bra and his shirt. He helps me get out of it and tosses it over the edge of the bed as he cups each one in his large hands.

  “We’re doing this?” My voice trembles with desire as I ask him the question.

  “We are, but before I do anything more, I need to know if you’re all right.”

  “Of course I’m all right, Wade.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you, not after what he put you through. If it’s too soon, then please know that I’ll understand. I want to erase what he did, but only if you’re willing to replace it with the love that I have to offer you.”

  “You won’t hurt me. I may be bruised, but I’m not broken. I want this. I want this with you, Whiskey. It’s always been you.”

  “You swear it?”

  “I do.”

  He pauses as he watches my face for any indication that I might be lying to him. When he’s satisfied with my honest answer, his lips skim over the visible bruises on my body before taking my mouth tenderly.

  This man cares for me too much, and I’m able to tell with each touch that he lays on me. I sigh longingly, and run my hands down his bare chest, down to the ridges that make up his abs as he caresses me in return. He’s put me first as he always has, and regardless of the last twenty-four hours, there’s nothing more that I want than this from him. I come from a life of hurt, abuse, and sorrow. I’ve used sex to cover it all up and stow it away, but he’s helped me to overcome that crutch. He’s helped me see that there’s more to life than what I’ve been living, and I know, without a doubt, that finally being intimate with him tonight will in no way hinder the progress that I’ve made with ridding myself of a coping mechanism. Waylon Brass is not a hit of my addiction: he’s been the cure, the road map leading me to a life that I’ve always longed for. It’s because of him that I’ve unknotted my tangled life. With this man, I am free.

  He presses his body into mine, and it’s now that I am able to feel his hard cock pressing into my lower stomach. I’ve seen his cock a handful of times before, and it’s striking. He may have the best-looking cock that I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying a lot.

  My fingers find the band of his boxer briefs as he trails kisses all over my abdomen, making my skin come alive with a blizzard of sensations under his touch. He leans back and gazes at me with those seaside eyes that have once more turned into a snowstorm, matching the one taking over Chicago at the moment.

  He glances over my bare skin, sending goose bumps running down my spine, which is currently laced with static. He makes me feel dangerous and gorgeous all with one look.

  “Lift your hips for me.”

  I do as I’m told and lift my hips up so he’s able to tug and pull my nude panties down to my thighs. Once he has them off of me, he reaches up and puts them on his pillow before ducking his head between my legs and sliding his tongue up and over my slit.

  “Oh,” I cry out without shame.

  His tongue runs over my wet opening as he spreads my legs wider apart. I adjust myself to watch him go down on me, leaning up on my elbows but throwing my head back in ardor as he flicks his tongue back and forth over my clitoris. My hips buck up, searching for his mouth as he continues to torture me. My orgasm comes from nowhere, surprising me when it takes over and sends me soaring. His hands push down on my hips so he is able to keep his mouth locked on my pussy as I wriggle with the static currently vibing through me.

  Nervous energy circulates throughout my body as he kisses up my center until his lips land on mine. My breath is coming fast as I kiss him, tasting myself on his glistening lips. No man has ever made me orgasm that quickly before and my body shivers underneath his.

  “I could eat you for the remainder of my life to watch you come like that each time.”

  I purposely bite down on his lip as I reach for his boxer briefs again and yank them lower, over his ass and farther do
wn. He gets up to take them off and as he stands at the side of the bed, I sit up and criss-cross my legs, showcasing myself to him as I take in the sight of him naked in front of me. He’s magnificent, so much so that I want to wrap my mouth around his head before letting him slide in and out of my throat.

  “Hadley.” His voice is throaty and mixed with desire.

  “I’m ready, Whiskey. Swear to me that you won’t end up back in the hospital because of what you’re about to make me feel.”

  “No, baby,” he says as he closes the distance between himself and the bed. “I got the all clear from Dr. Heath before I left.”

  I sigh and get up on my knees, throwing my arms around his neck and smashing my mouth to his. “I love you and I want you; I want this from you.”

  “Mmm,” he hums against my open mouth. “I have one issue.”

  “What is it?”

  “I’ve told you before that I don’t fuck women in my city due to the extremes that I’ve gone to before, and to stop myself from falling prey to the habit, I refuse to carry a condom around with me.”

  I stare at him, kind of shocked at what he just admitted to me. He actually did struggle, possibly more than I’m aware of.

  “If you don’t fucking have one, then I’m going to go mad, and I will walk into the blizzard naked until I find one because we’re not leaving here until I make love to and then fuck what belongs to me.”

  God, I love that he said that he’s going to fuck me as well. I kiss him once before getting off of the bed and going to the chair that my purse is set on. When I bend over and reach into my Burberry, my heart sinks until his arms come around me.

  “What is it?”

  I scrounge around in my purse and huff out, “I must have left them in my old purse when I transferred everything over.”

  “Are you fucking with me?”