by Ashlyn Chase
Then they both drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.
***
“Are you serious?” The mattress dipped as Konrad propped himself up on his elbow. “You want to see me shift?”
Roz nodded.
Why would she want to do that? “Are you sure? It can be frightening for a human to witness. I remember the first time my brother and I watched a whole pack shift. I dropped to my knees, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t breathe for a minute or two. I almost passed out.”
Roz sat up and hugged her knees. “I want to be part of your life; all of it. This is a big part of who you are.”
“No, Roz. It’s what I am, not who I am.”
“Wrong word, same diff’. I should know what to expect. Wouldn’t it be better than springing it on me sometime?”
He rubbed her back. “Why would I do that?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. Maybe by accident? Merry said Jason unintentionally shifted in front of her without preparing her for it. She totally freaked.”
“That wouldn’t happen. I have great control over my shifts. I can arrange to be elsewhere at midnight when it has to happen if I haven’t shifted voluntarily before that.”
“What if I walked in on you as you’re halfway transformed?”
Konrad thought about it as he got out of bed and stepped into his black jeans. It might not be a bad idea. If she can handle watching, I won’t have to send her to another room every time.
“I know. And if we were away someplace where I didn’t have a separate room to go to—”
“Oh, you heard that, huh?”
She smiled. “Yeah.”
He pulled his T-shirt over his head. “Well, I’d say, ‘I’ll think about it,’ then put it off until you forget the whole thing, but that’s no use.”
She chuckled as she got out of bed. “I’m not apt to forget something like this.”
“Uh-huh. Besides, you can probably tell what I’m not thinking as well as what I am thinking.”
“Handy, considering how much I hate being lied to.”
“And there’s that.” He hung his head. “Boy, I can tell this is going to be a fun and challenging marriage.”
Roz stopped buttoning her blouse, turned, and stared at him. “Did you just say marriage?”
“Well, yeah.” He lifted his shoulders. “Since we’re mates for life, I just assumed—”
Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t even get a proposal? You just assumed I’d want to marry you?”
He cocked his head. “Don’t you? I mean, you’re a woman. Don’t little girls dream about their wedding day from the time they get their first Barbie doll?”
She folded her arms and didn’t look happy.
What the hell did I do wrong?
“If you don’t know, you’re an idiot.”
He sank down onto the edge of the bed. “I-I guess I probably should have had a ring and arranged a fancy candlelit dinner, but I can’t afford those things right now, Roz.”
She threw her hands in the air. “I don’t need those things.”
This is damned frustrating. “What do you need then? I’m obviously missing something important. Don’t make me guess what that is. Just tell me.”
She heaved a huge sigh. “You’re right about every little girl dreaming of her wedding. And being proposed to is part of it!” “Stupid.”
I heard that.
“I don’t care if you did.” She tried to stomp off, but he caught her wrist before she made it to the bedroom door.
Hanging onto her wrist in an iron grip, he dropped to one knee, rolled his eyes, and asked in a sing-song voice, “Rosalyn Wells, will you?”
She kicked him in the groin.
“Oomph!” He cupped his balls in pain and groaned.
Seconds later, she marched out of his apartment.
Roz ran down the stairs and managed to slam and lock the door to her apartment before he reached her.
“Roz!” The door shook as he pounded on it.
“Go away.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Don’t you dare tell me what I mean!”
Konrad slumped, leaned his back against the wall, and slid to the floor.
Chapter 19
“Sly, you were happily married, right?”
Konrad sat on the basement steps as he discussed the latest Roz quandary with his good friend. He’d always felt sorry for the way Sly lost his wife and child, then became a vampire all in one horrible moment.
“We were extremely happy.” Sly gazed at the floor, and his expression grew nostalgic and sad.
“I’m sorry. I wouldn’t bring up painful memories, but I need your help.”
“No, it’s fine. I like remembering those days. They were the happiest of my life.” He leaned against a support column. “And will probably continue as such during the rest of my lon-n-n-ng life.”
Konrad gave his friend a sad smile. “I hope you won’t have to go through the next hundred years or so without a loving partner. That’s just cruel.”
Sly sighed. “Tell me about it. But it would be unfair to expect any woman to live up to the memory of my wife. Anyway, you had a problem?”
“Yeah. A big one.” He raked his fingers over his scalp, pushing the hair out of his eyes. “I asked Roz to marry me.”
Sly’s expression brightened then turned to one of concern. “I’d offer congratulations, but maybe I should wait until you tell me what the problem is.”
“I don’t know what I did wrong. Well, I sort of do, but I thought she’d be happy. Instead she kicked me in the nuts.”
Sly laughed. “Ah, you got a feisty one. That’s the best kind. You’ll never be bored.”
Konrad scratched his head. “I suppose so. But I wish I could figure her out a little better.”
“She’s a woman. There are some things you’ll never figure out, but tell me what happened, and maybe I’ll see something you missed.”
Konrad took a deep breath. “Okay, we were basking in the afterglow of some of the best sex we’ve ever had in our lives.”
“Sounds like a promising start.”
“Yeah, I thought so. Hey, I mentioned the thing about how we have telepathy with each other, right?”
“Um, wrong. You two are telepathic?”
“Only with each other.”
“I’ve heard of that happening with vampires, but I didn’t know if it was true.”
“Really? Vampires experience that too?”
“Only with one person. Their beloved. It’s like a soul mate, and supposedly there’s one for each of us.”
“I guess it’s the same for werewolves. When I discovered Roz was my mate, I naturally assumed she’d be my wife someday.”
“Uh-oh.”
“What? You figured out the problem already?”
“Maybe. If the words ‘I just assumed’ translate into taking it for granted, yeah, that could lead to a kick in the nuts.”
Konrad hung his head. “Fuck.”
Sly smirked. “Nailed it, didn’t I?”
“I’m afraid so. She said something about dreaming of a proposal since she was a little girl, that she didn’t need a ring or candlelight. I tried to do the right thing. I got down on one knee and everything—”
“But it was too late. The damage was done.”
“You think so? Is it hopeless? I can’t lose her.”
“You won’t, but you’ll have to do some world-class groveling.”
Konrad groaned. “Shit. I’ve never groveled in my life.”
“If she means that much to you, then you’d damn well better prove it to her. In the five years I was married, I discovered one secret to keeping a woman happy.”
“I hope you’re not going to say ‘a grovel a day keeps the lawyer away’ or anything like that.”
Sly chuckled. “Hell no, nothing like that. The only thing you have to do is make her feel desired. Make her know you want her.”
“But she already knows
that.”
Sly shook his head. “That’s not enough. You can’t expect her to retain that feeling constantly. Women are plagued with self-doubt. I don’t know why, they just are. You have to show her or tell her, or better yet, both, and reinforce it.”
“Every damn day? What if I forget?”
“It’s not something you schedule, dumb ass. Good God, you really have no idea, do you?”
Konrad blew out a deep breath. “I guess not.”
“Look.” Sly sat on the step next to him. “Send her flowers. Slip a mushy card under her door. Do whatever you have to do to make her realize you love her, want her, and that you’re sorry.”
“Is that what you mean by groveling?”
“Exactly!”
“Oh. That’s not too bad. I can do that. I can’t afford to send expensive flowers, but I can buy a card.”
“Great. You can always pick flowers. The more effort you go to, the more it shows you care.”
“Where do you pick flowers in the city?”
Sly smirked. “Some bush in an unfenced yard, I guess. If you borrow one rose, they’ll never miss it. And for some reason, a single rose seems to mean as much to women as a dozen. That’s one of those things we’ll never figure out.”
Konrad stood. “Okay. Thanks, buddy. I think I know where I’ll take my midnight run tonight.”
“Yeah? Where?”
“There’s a public rose garden on the Fenway.”
***
Roz awoke the following morning, pulled the covers over her head, and groaned. Never had a man driven her to drink before. The night before, she thought she had a point. Now she just felt stupid.
But talk about being taken for granted! I wasn’t even worth the effort of a genuine, heartfelt proposal. Last night’s tears and the lump in her throat resurfaced.
Her logical side took over again. How could he know she wanted a romantic proposal? It wasn’t as if he could read her mind. Well, okay, he could, but only if she was thinking loud and clear. As soon as he said the word marriage, her mind jumbled.
Now she couldn’t quite remember why. Had it really been only because he’d taken her answer for granted and forgot to ask the question? She wasn’t usually that petty. The men she’d known before were unromantic and even prone to insensitivity. They made Konrad look like a poet.
She removed the covers from her pounding head and inhaled a deep breath. “Time to face the music, dingbat.” Roz sat on the edge of her bed, straightened her nightshirt, and waited for her head to stop spinning. Finally she braved the ten-foot walk to the bathroom medicine cabinet.
“Oh, gross.” Why had she looked in the mirror before grabbing the aspirin? Her cute new bob was plastered to her head. She looked toward the shower and figured the warm steam might make her feel better.
“Okay, shower first, then coffee.”
She turned on the water, and while she waited for it to get nice and hot, she plodded to the kitchen to get the coffeemaker started. While transferring the heaping coffee grounds from the can to the pot, her hand shook. Coffee overflowed the little measuring cup and spilled onto the counter.
“Oh, for the love of—” Roz flopped into the folding chair by her little kitchen table and held her still-aching head in her hands.
Why? Why did I do this to myself?
It wasn’t as if Roz didn’t want to get married. She’d been hoping to find a lover to settle down with, as her best friend had. She could picture Merry and her man cuddling in front of the fireplace in their penthouse. She knew her friend had found a once-in-a-lifetime love, and now it seemed as if it was her turn.
“Okay, so it’s not marriage itself. What is it? Konrad?” Whenever she thought of him, a smile stole across her face. She didn’t even notice she was smiling at first. As soon as she recognized the fact, a warm, squishy feeling invaded her stomach, and it wasn’t from drinking too much wine.
The man wasn’t the problem. The beast was. Roz returned to the bathroom and removed her nightshirt. Before she stepped into the shower, she examined the bruise on her shoulder. She was marked, all right. Dark imprints in the shape of a jaw full of teeth showed on both her front and back, with some just above her collarbone and others on her upper back near her neck.
She sighed. She loved Konrad, loved him with all her heart. Loved him enough to let him claim her. But he scared her too. What if they had a serious argument sometime? Would she still be perfectly safe with him?
“Yes, you would,” his voice answered in her head.
“Oh, crap!” He must be right outside her door. She jumped into the shower and stuck her head under the spray. Sorry. I’m in the shower. Can we talk later?
“I think we should. Meanwhile I have something for you. I’ll leave it outside your door. Come upstairs when you’re ready.”
She sighed. Part of her had worried that he’d be angry after she went off on him, but even though he was the animal, she seemed to be the one easily irritated. What was that about?
Maybe that’s why the werewolves in the Newton pack seemed less than fond of humans. Maybe she was the unpredictable and dangerous one. She snorted at that, but something about the notion rang true.
Any one of the werewolves could subdue her in a second, but maybe they didn’t want to. It would call attention to them. She saw what happened with Konrad when she was being threatened, even slightly. He had to jump in and defend her. She could imagine that situation would get tiring.
After she turned off the water and towel dried her hair, she put on her fluffy robe and took another look in the mirror. Better. Her eyes seemed a little more awake. Glazed, but awake.
She burped. A dinner of popcorn and wine didn’t cut it, but she was out of Rocky Road. She hoped her rationale that popcorn was low in calories had saved her from committing diet suicide. Somehow she knew that paired with an entire bottle of Chablis, her dinner might not have been as low calorie as she’d hoped.
Too late now. She walked barefoot to her bedroom and looked in her closet for something to wear. Nothing jumped out. Her brain was too fuzzy for decisions, so she just tossed on a pair of sweatpants and a matching hoodie. At least they were pink and she could tell herself she looked feminine.
Oh yeah. Konrad left something at the door. As soon as she’d donned a pair of socks, she trotted into her living room and opened her door to the hall. A rose with a note lay on her threshold.
She picked up the gorgeous American Beauty rose and smelled it. Its scent was sweet and seductive. Roz opened the note and read, “I’m sorry. Please forgive my insensitivity. I love you and always will.”
Nathan opened his door and wheeled his bicycle into the hall. He glanced at the rose and note in her hand and said, “What did he do?”
“What makes you think—”
“Because he left gifts outside your door and because last night when I let him out, he looked dejected as hell.”
“Oh.”
Nathan scrutinized her from head to toe. “Another truck run you over?”
With one hand on her hip she said, “Yeah. I just washed off the blood, so the paramedics wouldn’t have to.”
He laughed and started to open the front door.
“Oh, let me get that for you.” Roz strode to the heavy front door and held it open.
“Thanks,” he said as he wheeled his bike down the steps.
She let go of the door and muttered, “Don’t let it hit you in the ass.”
He turned and laughed as if he’d heard her. Hmmm. Maybe he had. She kept forgetting that everyone in this building had freakishly acute senses, especially her wolf-man.
***
A knock sounded on Konrad’s door. When he opened it, Roz stood there with her hands behind her back, looking contrite.
“Thank you for the rose. It’s beautiful.”
“Not nearly as beautiful as you.”
She turned her head to the side and snorted.
“I mean it. I’m so sorry, Roz. I had no idea how
that came across, until…well, until later.”
She still stood on his threshold, making no move to come in.
“Look, I get it. I’m the one who constantly tells you that you deserve to be loved. And you are. I adore you, Roz.”
She looked up into his eyes, expectantly.
“I know I can’t always rely on our mind connection. I need to learn to understand my mate. But please understand there’s a learning curve here, and I’m trying.”
She nodded and stepped forward into his waiting arms. He held her reverently.
“I’m sorry I kicked you.”
“Apology accepted. Now let’s get out of the hallway.” He stepped back. She strolled to his couch and made herself comfortable.
Konrad sat next to her and put an arm around her. “The trial’s only a few days away. Is there anything I should be doing?”
She looked up at him with questioning eyes.
“What? Is that a dumb question?”
“No. I just thought we’d talk about what happened yesterday first.”
“Oh. Right now?” Crap. I’m barely out of the doghouse. I didn’t think she’d want me to propose so soon.
She tipped her head. “Why not now?”
“I want to do this right, and I still haven’t had the chance to—”
She put her finger to his lips and said “Forget that. I told you I don’t need a candlelit dinner or fancy engagement ring. None of that is necessary.”
“But I want to do something special, because you’re special.”
She leaned back and smiled. Her whole face softened, and her eyes danced whenever she smiled just for him.
He stroked her hair. “I love you more than anything. You know that, right?”
She glanced at her lap. “Yes, I know.”
“Okay, good. Keep remembering that. One of these days I’ll show you how much you mean to me. That’s a promise.”
“Why not now?”
“Because you’d always wonder if I did it because you wanted me to. No, I thought of something that will take a little planning. If you can be patient. It might be better to wait until after the trial anyway.” You might prefer not to be engaged to a jailbird for who-knows-how-many years.
She nodded. “Okay. So, what did you want to do? Talk about the trial?”
