“He has a nice body for a white boy,” someone shouted.
“Do you want a coat?” another girl asked.
Carter pushed his way through the crowd and sprinted toward the barn, the single light beckoning. The crowd cheered as he ran. He swung the door open and slammed it behind him. The barn was dark except for a flickering yellow light coming from the portholes of the boat. Close to the door, he was concealed by darkness, but if he moved any closer, he’d be illuminated.
“Amber?” he said.
After a moment she popped her head out on the upper deck of the boat. Her body cast a long shadow in the dim light. She held a beach towel.
“Look at you,” she said with a wide smile. “Why don’t you step closer so I can get a good look?”
He stood still in the dark shadows.
“You are shy,” she said laughing. “Don’t you trust me?”
“Can you please bring me that towel?”
“Awww, you seem upset. It was just a joke.”
She put the towel over her shoulder and climbed down the metal ladder that hung off the back of the boat. She strutted toward him with a bright smile, her teeth glowing in the dim light. She stopped at the edge of the shadows, some ten feet away.
“Why don’t you meet me halfway,” she said. “I don’t bite.”
“Come on Amber, this isn’t cool,” he said.
She pressed out her lower lip. “There’s not a guy at school that wouldn’t love to be naked and alone with me. What’s wrong?”
“You lied.”
She frowned. “It was gonna happen either way. I thought you liked me.”
He was still and silent.
“How about we make a deal? I’ll take off my top if you come over here into the light.” She waited for a response.
He said nothing.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” she said.
She folded the towel, and placed it between her legs to hold it in place. She tugged on the bottom of her pink tank top, her breasts moving beneath the fabric. She pulled the top over her head. Her stomach was tan and toned, her breasts mashed together in a white lacy pushup bra. She reached behind her back and unclasped. She crossed her arms and slid the straps and the bra down. Her breasts were tan and firm. She bit her lip. Blood rushed down to Carter’s penis. He stepped forward into the light. She gasped, her eyes on his erection.
“You do like me,” she said with a smirk.
He reached for her crotch, grabbing the beach towel from between her legs. He unfolded it and wrapped it around his waist, his erection pitching a tent.
She pressed out her lower lip. “Hey, I was enjoying the view.” She glanced at the square plastic packet in his hand and giggled. “What do you think you’re gonna do with that?”
He stepped forward and pressed his chest to hers. She tilted her head back and they kissed, slowly and softly at first. She reached down and gripped his erection over the towel. He groaned. She pulled away.
“I have a surprise for you,” she said as she strutted to the boat, her bra and tank top in hand. She looked over her shoulder and mimed a kiss his way. “Come on.”
He followed, the bright beach towel wrapped around his waist. He stood underneath her as she climbed the boat ladder. Carter saw a flash of white under her jean shorts as she climbed. He scaled the ladder to the top deck. She was gone. He followed the flickering light down the steps into the cabin below, entering the first room to his right. A single bed filled most of the small space, and a candle flickered on a built-in bedside table. Amber was on her side, her head propped up by her hand, her slender body wrapped in a flannel comforter. Jean shorts, a white bra, a pink tank top, and white panties were piled in a heap in front of the bed.
Carter felt faint. He placed the condom on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed as he slipped off his shoes and socks. He gazed at her, his face hot.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her lips curled.
“Yeah. I guess I didn’t expect this to happen. I’m not really prepared.”
She smiled, laughing. “Prepared? We’re not taking the SAT’s.”
He frowned. “Please don’t laugh.”
She stopped laughing, her mouth turned down. “Carter, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. I really like you. I thought you’d like this.”
“I do,” he said, looking down at the towel wrapped around him. “I just don’t know what I’m doing.”
She smiled. “You certainly know how to kiss, and that’s a lot of it right there. Why don’t you just get in with me, and we’ll see what happens. We can just lay here if you want.”
Carter tugged the towel off his waist and dropped it on the floor. His penis was still semi-erect. She opened the flannel comforter. He slid in next to her on his side, one arm propping himself up, the other draped over her lower back. She pressed her body and her lips against his. His erection stiffened against the coarse hairs of her pubic area. She reached down and pulled his penis down between her legs. She felt hot and wet. She rubbed her clitoris back and forth over his penis, moaning. She leaned into his ear.
“Do you want to?” she asked through heavy breaths.
He turned toward the bedside table and grabbed the condom. He fumbled with the wrapper, his heart racing.
“Give it to me,” she whispered. “Lay on your back.”
He handed her the wrapper and lay on his back. She sat up and straddled his legs, ripping the condom wrapper as she did so. She took the rubber disc and slid it down over his erection. Amber eased his erection inside, moaning as he entered.
His hands found their way to her hips. She braced her hands against his muscular chest. He moved his pelvis in rhythm with hers for a couple of minutes. He tried to focus on her eyes, but they were closed. Her lips were swollen, her mouth open.
“Wait,” he said.
But she moved faster, pushing him past the point of no return. He groaned as he climaxed. She moaned and exhaled, her eyes shut tight. Eventually she shuddered, her breath coming out in one smooth motion. She opened her eyes and smiled before collapsing against him. Carter slipped out of her, and he turned to face her as she nuzzled against him, her arm and leg draped over his body. Carter stared at the ceiling, his mouth dry.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
She propped herself up on her elbow and raised her eyebrows. “Why?”
“I don’t think that was very good.”
She frowned at him. “You didn’t like it?”
He propped himself up toward her. “No, it’s not like that. I mean for you. I think maybe I was too fast.”
She smiled, her pink lips glistening in the candlelight. “I thought it was very good.”
“Did you … you know.”
She laughed. “Did I what?”
“You know.”
“Have an orgasm?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s why I got on top.” She grinned. “That way I can push my own buttons.”
He looked down, then back at her. “Have you ever done this before?”
She scowled. “I’m almost eighteen, what do you think?”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant. I mean this initiation thing.” He pursed his lips. “If you don’t wanna tell me, it’s okay.”
She grinned and pecked him on the lips. “Let’s just say it was a first for both of us.”
“Is this what the initiation is supposed to be? We’re all supposed to have sex?”
“Every initiation’s different.”
He narrowed his blue eyes. “I’m asking about this one.”
She shrugged. “I doubt all the guys are gonna have sex. Probably only a couple of them.” She winked at Carter. “Only the really hot ones.”
“So everyone else is gonna sleep outside naked?”
She giggled. “No, the girls are just gonna tell Zach and Justin that they had sex with the guys so they can get their stuff back. They’re gonna make out, and some guys m
ight get a blowjob.”
Carter nodded. “The girls knew, didn’t they?”
She smiled. “That’s why I was telling you to relax when they took you down to the basement. It did turn out pretty great, don’t you think?”
He smiled for a second then his mouth went flat. “What about guys that nobody likes?”
“We didn’t have a problem finding at least one girl to hook up with each guy. I don’t wanna give you too much of a big head, but a bunch of girls asked about you.” She grinned. “I told those little hoes that you were mine.”
“So we run out of the basement naked thinking that we had to convince some girl to sleep with us, when really the girls are there ready to wrap us up in a jacket or a towel or blanket or whatever and take us some place to hook up?”
“Pretty awesome, huh?”
“Shit.”
“What.”
Carter squirmed out from under her. “I gotta go check on Ben.”
“Who?” she said, sitting up.
“Ben Wheeler.”
She frowned. “Why?”
“He fucked it up. He didn’t run out with the rest of us.”
Amber put her hand over her mouth, concealing a grin. “Oh my God, he didn’t choose one of the other tests?”
Carter nodded. “I just let them do it to him.”
She shook her head, still smiling. “This is crazy. Nobody thought anybody would choose the first two. What did they do to him?”
“They acted like Justin was gonna hit him in the face with his penis, but he did it with a cucumber. Afterward they told him to go back upstairs and everybody kind of looked at him like he was nothing.”
She shrugged. “Maybe he’s a faggot.”
He scowled. “Don’t say that.”
“Is he your friend?”
“He was my first friend here.”
“Was or is?”
“He hasn’t been talking to me lately.”
She held her palms up. “Well then he doesn’t sound like a friend to me. I don’t know why you care. He made the choice, not you.”
Carter shrugged.
“He’s probably gone anyway.”
Carter nodded. “I guess so.”
“So why don’t you take that thing off and grab another one from my purse.”
– 7 –
One Lie Leads to Another
Carter stood at the kitchen counter slathering peanut butter on wheat bread. He gulped down a glass of milk. Alyssa sat next to him with sleepy eyes, slurping the milk from her sugary cereal. Their mom trudged down the stairs in a long silk robe tied at her waist. Her hair was disheveled. Without makeup, her face showed crease lines around her mouth.
“Do you need a ride?” Grace asked Carter. “I’m taking Alyssa at eight.”
“It’s okay, Mom. We start at seven-thirty anyway. I’m just gonna walk.”
Grace inspected Carter with a frown. “Sweetheart, do you think maybe you should wear something a little nicer for the first day of school?”
Carter glanced down at his baggy jeans and gray T-shirt.
“And that hat’s seen better days.”
Carter pulled the brim of his baseball cap low over his eyes. “I gotta go, Mom.” He shoved the bread back into the refrigerator and placed the peanut butter in the pantry. “No time to change now.”
She shook her head, turning away.
He swiped the sandwich and his backpack, and marched to the door. “See you guys later,” he said.
The birds chirped and the late summer sun shone through a cloudless sky. He ate his sandwich as he walked alongside the townhouses, the peanut butter sticking to the roof of his mouth. As he approached the main road through his neighborhood, he saw Sarah ahead of him. He jogged to catch up. She wore red sequined flats like Dorothy from Oz and a blue sundress with white polka dots. She glanced over her shoulder as he gained ground.
“What up, beyotch?” she said with a smile. She flipped her pink satchel to her outside hip to give Carter more room on the sidewalk. It was adorned with a cartoon fairy. Her hair was brushed to the side, a few strands hanging over her glasses. Her face was flawless without makeup, her lips full without lip gloss.
“Not much,” Carter said. He held up his half-eaten sandwich. “You want some?”
“What is that, peanut butter? No jelly?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s gross.”
He took another bite. “Tastes good to me,” he said, his mouth full. After swallowing, he glanced down at her hands. “What’s with the gloves?”
She held up a hand encased in a long white glove that went halfway up her forearm. “It makes me feel like I’m living in a different time. You know, like when people wore top hats and addressed each other as sir and madam, not dude and man.”
“Excuse me, Madam, may I escort you to your destination?” Carter said in his best stuffy voice. “It is improper for a young lady to be unescorted on a public street.” Carter held his arm out like a chicken wing.
She laughed and slid her arm through. “Did you see Ben over the weekend?”
“Saturday at the scrimmage,” Carter said.
She took a deep breath. “Last I talked to him he said he was going to the big football party at some farmhouse.” She pursed her lips.
He glanced at her. “Why, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I went over to his house Sunday, but his mom said he was sick. And then today, I didn’t see him. Last year he waited on the corner for me every day. I’m assuming you went to the party.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you see him there?”
“Just the back of his head. He doesn’t talk to me, remember.”
She frowned. “Did something happen there?”
He bit the inside of his cheek. “Where?”
“The party, where do you think?”
He sucked in his bottom lip and pressed it out. “Maybe. Like I said, I didn’t see him much.”
“I know the football team has initiations. Two years ago a kid went to the ER for alcohol poisoning.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing as far as I know. He still plays.”
Carter raised his eyebrows. “Who?”
She ignored his question. They watched the red hand on the traffic light across the street. Cars and trucks zipped past, the smell of exhaust in the air.
She turned to Carter. “Did they force you to drink?”
“No.”
She nodded.
“Who was the kid that got alcohol poisoning? You said he still plays.”
“Your boy, Noah. Congrats by the way, I heard you took his position.”
The light flashed walk in green. They picked up their pace as they moved across the four-lane road. Carter glanced at the cars, the front ends lurching forward as the three-thousand-pound machines ground to a halt in front of the crosswalk.
“It’s not his position,” Carter said.
She glanced at him, her mouth flat. “You’re right, it’s yours. You’re a man of your word, Carter Lynch. You said you were going to take his position and you did.”
“You say that like I did something wrong. Didn’t you say it was a competition, not personal? I worked hard. The coaches didn’t give me anything.”
She pursed her lips. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m happy for you. I tend to be cranky in the A.M.”
Carter exhaled. “I don’t think anyone wanted me to have this position.”
She stopped and turned to Carter. He stopped, their arms still interlocked. “I’m sorry for being a bitch. You don’t deserve it.” She shook her head and exhaled, her eyes searching his. “I hate football. Ben’s mad at you over it, putting me in the middle of you guys. Kids get hurt on and off the field. You know, Noah was a nice kid in middle school. It’s like they get on varsity and turn into varsity assholes.”
They continued down the sidewalk, the sprawling brick school looming large in the background.
“
Is that what you think is gonna happen to me?” Carter asked.
She smiled briefly. “I like you despite your head-ramming fetish, not because of it.”
* * *
The lunchroom was filled with the buzz of voices, clanging trays, and stomping feet. Carter pushed his tray along the metal counter. Justin nudged in front and dumped his empty tray on the counter.
He turned to Carter. “What’s up man, let me get in line with you.”
They grabbed plates of pulled pork, corn, and fries from the lunch lady and placed the heaped platters on their trays.
Justin smirked at Carter. A large M was shaved into the side of his pale head. “I heard you had fun on Saturday.”
Carter was blank-faced. “It was all right.”
“All right?” Justin said with a frown. “I heard you fucked Amber all night.”
“It’s none of your business.”
Justin cackled. “Did she keep those cowboy boots on?”
Carter shook his head, his mouth turned down.
“That body’s bangin’ too, all tan and shit.”
“You’re holding the line, young man,” the elderly cashier said.
Justin turned toward the cashier and closed the gap. He paid for his meal, took his tray off the counter, and moved behind her. The elderly woman took Carter’s money while Justin mimed having sex with her from behind. Laughter broke out among the kids behind Carter. She turned around and found Justin standing still.
She narrowed her eyes. “What are you doing?”
Justin gave her a bright white smile. “Just waiting for my friend, ma’am.”
“Go sit down,” she said.
Justin left as Carter took his change. He scanned the hall for potential dining places. He saw Dwayne, Kevin Lewis, Michael Townsend and other black football players sitting together, with a handful of black girls interspersed. A table of white football players was on the opposite side of the cafeteria. Zach, Noah, and Luke sat among them, with white girls interspersed. There was a table of boys with black clothing and studded belts, with chains slung from their belt loops to their pockets. There were tables of girls ranked in terms of attractiveness. There were tables with Asian girls, Latino boys, and every other racial, ethnic, and gender divide imaginable. I wish Devin was in my lunch period.
Initiation Page 7
