She found the condom and shredded the wrapper with her teeth. Within seconds, she’d sheathed his member and straddled it to sink onto his erection with a shuddered groan. “Ohh, that’s it,” she said, nearly purring with delight at the sensations flitting across her nerve endings. She arched against him, giving him a better chance to rub that elusive spot deep inside her and he hit it unerringly. She rocked against him, eyes closed, focusing on the pleasure beginning to build and riding each thrust as she clenched her muscles around him, driving him mad until his thrusts were hard and deep, sinking into her.
“Yesss,” he groaned, his hands anchoring on her hips, lifting her so he could pound into her wet and hot core. She gasped and tensed as every muscle spasmed, radiating in deliciously carnal waves that spiraled out from her insides, igniting a firestorm that sizzled and snapped along every fiber of her being.
“Gabe!” she gasped against the pleasure rocking her. “Ohhh, Gabe!”
Seconds later, Gabe stiffened against the orgasm that found him, his hands curling into her flesh as he pumped into her, his thrusts becoming spastic until he finally finished and Lindy collapsed against his chest.
She whimpered as little pulses continued to zing through her body and reluctantly rolled from Gabe’s body. He pulled the condom free and tossed it into the trash beside the bed and then grabbed her and tucked her against him, fitting her perfectly against his chest as if she’d been made to fit there.
As her heart rate slowed to a less-frantic pace, she exhaled softly and fought the urge to fall asleep. Lying there with Gabe was a special kind of torture. Casual bed partners aiming for discretion didn’t cuddle. But it felt so right lying there. She swallowed and prepared herself to climb from the bed, but the words wouldn’t come.
“You could stay,” he murmured against her crown as if reading her mind.
She smiled. “No, I can’t. What about Carys?”
He sighed. “You could leave early in the morning.”
“Sneak out like some floozy after a one-night stand? No, thanks. A girl has her pride, you know.”
“It wouldn’t be like that,” he said, affronted. “You know I would never treat you like that.”
“I know, but that’s how it would make me feel. Trust me, I’ve made that walk of shame and it doesn’t do much for the self-esteem in the harsh light of the morning.”
“I understand.” He drew a deep breath. “It’s just that I don’t want to let you go. Having you here right now is the most amazing feeling in the world, and I’m being selfish. I don’t want to give it up.”
Sadness crept up on her like an unwelcome and uninvited visitor, and she tried to shoo it away but it remained. “There’s always tomorrow,” she reminded him, trying for the positive approach but it was difficult; she wanted to stay, too. But to remain in that bed would raise uncomfortable questions in the morning and would set a terrible example for Carys, and Lindy couldn’t do that. She reluctantly started to pull away but he wouldn’t let her go just yet. “A few more minutes?” he pleaded.
She nodded and allowed herself to be folded into his arms again. They remained that way, curled into one another, until morning.
And that’s exactly how Carys found them.
* * *
“DAD?”
Gabe’s eyes flew open at the sound of his daughter’s confused query and he realized with a sinking heart that they’d fallen asleep and it was now morning.
Worse? They were both plainly naked under the thin sheet.
He pulled the sheet more securely up and over Lindy and said to Carys, “Hi, honey...this probably looks a little strange....”
“Why is Lindy naked?” she asked, frowning. “Why is she naked with you?”
His mouth tightened against the barrage of lies that immediately sprang to mind. He wouldn’t lie to her. It would only cheapen what he felt for Lindy and he wasn’t willing to do that. “Honey...Lindy stayed the night here with me. Why don’t you let me get dressed and we’ll talk about it.”
Carys reluctantly left the room and he bounded from the bed to jerk on some shorts and a T-shirt. He closed the door quietly behind him so Lindy wouldn’t be bothered and then found Carys sitting at the breakfast table, staring at her bowl of cereal with a faint frown.
“Carys...does it bother you that Lindy stayed over?” he asked gently.
“Yeah, sort of,” she admitted. “What does this mean? Are you dating or something?”
“Not exactly,” he answered, flushing with the embarrassment of a father faced with tough questions. “We’re just friends.”
“Friends with benefits?” she asked, shocking him with her frank and precocious question.
“Where did you learn that term? Never mind. I can guess. Listen, it’s a bit complicated but I really care for Lindy, and I don’t want you to think that this is some cheap and tawdry hookup. It’s not like that. I promise you.” Carys nodded but looked a little lost and forlorn and it broke his heart. He cursed himself for being so selfish and falling asleep when he should’ve allowed Lindy to leave when she’d been ready to. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he asked, smoothing the frown from her brow.
She shrugged. “I know it’s stupid but suddenly I miss Mom a lot. I like Lindy but...she’s not supposed to be in the spot where Mom was.”
“She’s not in your mom’s spot,” he promised her. “Your mom was special and amazing and no one can ever replace her.”
“I know, but when it was just you and me, I could pretend that maybe Mom was going to come home. Seeing Lindy sleeping next to you...just made it feel real that Mom is never, ever coming home again.” A single tear oozed out from the corner of Carys’s eye and he scooped her into his arms, hugging her tightly.
“I miss her, too, sweet pea. I miss her so much sometimes I can’t breathe because my chest feels as if it’s caving in. But your mom was an amazing woman who wouldn’t have wanted us to climb into the ground with her. She would’ve wanted us to live our lives. She was just that kind of woman. You remember that, right?”
Carys nodded and wiped at her nose.
“The best way to honor her memory is try and remember all the wonderful things she tried to teach you about being a good person because I’ll let you in on a secret...your mom was one of the best. And I know you’ll make her proud because you are so much like her already.”
Carys cried softly and he rocked her, holding her close. His heart was fracturing in two from her raw pain, and he hated that he’d cracked open this fissure with his own carelessness but he supposed it’d been bound to happen sooner or later.
“I love you more than anything in this world, Carys Deanne,” he said. “And nothing will change that fact. Nothing in this world.”
“I love you, Daddy,” Carys said between hiccups. “I love you so much.”
“Ditto, moonbeam. Ditto.”
* * *
LINDY STUFFED HER knuckle in her mouth to keep from crying. Gabe was such a good dad, so unlike her own father, who had bailed when the going got tough and never looked back to see how they’d all fared after his defection.
Carys was so lucky to have a father who was willing to shelve his own happiness to ensure her own. No doubt, he was beating himself up for falling asleep. She knew this because she felt it, too. This felt similar to a walk of shame, only it was ten times worse because it would be witnessed by an eleven-year-old girl. Lindy gathered her clothing and quickly dressed. After finger-combing her hair, she opened the bedroom door with a bright, false smile and acted as if everything were fine and dandy.
She faltered in the face of Carys’s puffy, reddened eyes. Meeting Gabe’s tortured gaze, she knew with a certainty he was dying inside for the pain that his daughter was feeling. She wanted to talk to Carys, wanted to explain, but the words dried like dust in her mouth. She didn’t ha
ve the right words to explain to a child why she’d been sleeping with her father. It was too complex and complicated to pare down to a sound bite of information so she wouldn’t even try. “Well, I have to go,” Lindy announced, moving to the front door. “Call time is at noon and I should check in with my sister before I go...so...all right. Catch you later, guys!”
And then, like a coward, she practically ran from the bungalow.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
LINDY WENT STRAIGHT to her room and luckily bypassed anyone who might question where she’d spent the night. She showered and emerged, shaky but determined, and went to the kitchen.
Lora looked up when she entered and smiled. “Look at you, up so early. What’s the occasion?”
Lindy blew out a breath and grabbed the orange juice. “Well, I have a small acting job in St. Thomas and my call time is noon so I figured I ought to see if there were any chores you needed help with before I took off.”
Lora grinned. “Well, color me impressed. I believe you’re growing up.”
“Don’t get your hopes up,” she said wryly and sipped at her juice. “Okay, well, maybe just a little,” she amended, then switched subjects. “How’s Lilah?”
At that Lora frowned. “Okay, I suppose. She’s been quiet. More quiet than usual. It bothers me but I haven’t had a chance to sit down with her and have a heart-to-heart. Pops tried to help Heath with some outside yard work and ended up slipping and hurting his back. So we spent most of the day in the urgent care making sure he didn’t break anything.”
“Pops okay?” she asked, alarmed. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“He’s fine. Just a little bruised. I would’ve called if it had turned out to be serious, but I heard you were spending the day with Gabe Weston and didn’t want to bother you.”
“Actually, his daughter, Carys, was picked up to be an extra in the film. She was pretty excited.”
“How’d that happen?”
“Well, I invited them to tag along because I thought they’d enjoy the experience and while we were there, Paul Hossiter, the executive producer, took a shine to Carys and put her into the scene.”
“That’s pretty cool. You don’t hear that happening very often. Did you have something to do with it?”
“Inadvertently,” Lindy admitted, sighing. “Paul’s a bit of a player. I think he thinks if he does me a favor, I’ll owe him a favor later. I told him he’s dreaming but he keeps trying. But in the meantime, it worked out for Carys and I’m happy for her. She was over the moon excited.” She chuckled. “She’s already spending the money she earned.”
“How much?”
“Two hundred and fifty,” Lindy answered with a shrug and Lora gaped.
“That much?”
“Yeah, extras on a good shoot can make some nice pocket change. And for a kid? That’s like hitting the mother lode.”
“Yeah, but you may have just created a monster. How’s she ever going to be satisfied with babysitting money now?” Lora said wryly. “I don’t envy her dad.”
Lindy smiled, her heart pinging at the mention of Gabe. She busied herself with finishing the glass of orange juice, not trusting herself at the moment. There was too much going on in her head, stuff she couldn’t even begin to comprehend or make sense of, to risk opening her mouth. Besides, she knew what her older sister would have to say about her involvement with a guest. She needed to talk to Lilah. Her twin wouldn’t judge her, even if she didn’t agree with Lindy’s choices.
“Hey, even though Paul isn’t willing to move his production, my payday for this bit of work will come in handy,” she said. “It should help with the next IRS payment.”
“I hate to ask because it’s so personal, but how much are we talking?” Lora asked.
Lindy shrugged. “After my agent takes her cut, it should be about $35,000.”
Lora stared, as if not quite sure she’d heard the amount correctly. “Did you say...?”
“Yes. Normally, this kind of job could sustain me all year. How else do you think I’ve been able to stay in L.A. all this time without having to get a real job? I’m probably the only starving actress who’s not moonlighting as a waitress. I land a gig like this and I sock it away.”
“You have some pretty good budgeting skills if you manage to make this kind of system work,” Lora remarked in surprised awe. “I’m impressed, little sister.”
Lindy grinned. “Yeah, well, you learn real fast not to blow those paydays because sometimes work is scarce.”
“You’ve turned into a pretty savvy woman,” Lora said, offering a rare compliment. “So, our next payment is due at the end of the month. We’re about halfway there. Do you think you could kick in a few bucks to the pot?”
“Of course. I’m willing to put it all in if you need,” Lindy said, surprising Lora. “Hey, I said I’d help and I meant it. I might not be good at customer service or fixing plugged toilets but I can at least do this, right?”
Lora looked away for a second but not before Lindy saw tears in her eyes. Lindy hesitated, not sure if she should go to her or not. Lora was always the iron woman; to see her show this kind of open emotion was foreign. But no matter what, Lora was her sister and that bottom line caused Lindy to cross the room and fold Lora in a tight hug. “We’ll get through this,” Lindy promised. “We’ll get it all figured out and then everything will get back to normal.”
Lora nodded and pulled away, wiping at her eyes. “Some days it feels hopeless, like no matter what we’re doing it’s not going to fix things. Pops seems as if his bad days are becoming more frequent, and I’m so worried that one day he’s going to be more than we can handle and then what?”
Lindy didn’t have an answer and the helplessness she felt in the face of Lora’s stark questions only served to make her feel small and useless. “I don’t know, Lora,” Lindy answered honestly. “But we’ll get it figured out together. Somehow. That’s all I know.”
Lora released a pent-up breath on a laugh and said, “Funny how it takes a really messed-up situation to bridge the gap between us.”
Lindy sighed. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry for not trying harder.”
“I wasn’t innocent in that, either,” Lora admitted. “I got caught up in my own stuff and forgot that I was leaving behind the ones that mattered the most. But I’m trying to fix that. I really am.”
“I know you are. And you’re doing a great job with everything here,” Lindy said, hitching a jerky breath. If she wasn’t careful, she’d end up crying, too. “Listen, if you don’t have anything for me to do I could use some beach time to clear my head.”
“Everything okay?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I mean, yeah...I think so. Or I should say, I’ll get it figured out. Don’t worry.”
“Okay...I’m here for you if you need me.”
Lindy smiled. “Thanks, sis.”
Lora grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl and exited the room, leaving Lindy to think about everything that had transpired within the past twenty-four hours.
Instead of simplifying things, she’d made a mess of things. And now Carys was hurt. That was the worst part. She’d never wanted to hurt Carys. A sigh rattled out of Lindy and she grabbed a banana for herself.
She needed some serious beach time before she lost what little sense she had left.
* * *
LILAH FOUND POPS on the terrace eating papaya like he and Grams used to when she was young. She smiled and sat opposite him.
“Morning, Pops,” she said, letting her gaze track out to the sea. It was so beautiful, so serene. When she looked at the ocean stretching out as far as she could see, she felt peaceful, which was a rarity these days. Seemed it was all she could do to keep from crying all the time. A tight breath seemed caught in her chest and she struggled to release it, which caught Pops�
�s attention.
“What’s wrong, sugar bird?” he asked, scooping a spoonful of the succulent fruit. “Why the long face?”
She forced a smile but her eyes tingled, signaling tears weren’t far. “I’m just feeling a little blue this morning, I guess.”
“Anything I can do to help?” he asked, and for a moment, Lilah was almost lulled into a false sense of security, that Pops was fine and everything was going to work out. But then he said, “Well, you know if you can’t talk to me, there’s always Grams. She’s a great shoulder for young girls...and one old guy, too,” he said, winking.
At that, Lilah’s shoulders sagged and she ground away the tears that sprang to her eyes. “I wish I could talk to Grams,” she murmured, hating how awful she felt inside. It was as if she were constructed of pitiful sadness and black days. Where’d her sunshine go? She’d had sunshine once. Hadn’t she? She couldn’t remember any longer. Fatigue from her insomnia had begun to take its toll. Her feet ached from all the walking she did at night and her head felt stuffed with sand. “Grams is gone, Pops,” she said softly, the words drifting from her mouth as if someone else were orchestrating the conversation. She snapped her mouth shut before the rest of the words fell. She’s not coming back. And you’re losing your mind. Larimar is screwed and we don’t know how to fix it. Everything is a mess, Pops. How come you can’t see that?
“Sugar bird...what’s wrong? And what do you mean, Grams is gone?” he asked, concerned. “You don’t seem yourself. Where’s my sweet, sweet Lilah girl?” He peered at her, his blue eyes soft with love. She sucked in her bottom lip and fought the tears that were always much too close to the surface.
“I don’t know, Pops,” she answered honestly, her voice cracking. “I really don’t know.”
“You need to talk to Grams,” he announced. “She’ll get things straightened out. She always does.”
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