by Mary Manners
Gracie had been a little teary-eyed at the church when he dropped her off for Parents’ Day Out, although he’d taken care to introduce her to all of the workers, and she’d made several friends through Children’s Church last Sunday.
“You’ll come back for me, won’t you, Uncle Cade?” She’d asked as she clung to the hem of his polo shirt.
“Of course I’ll come back for you, honey.”
“Do you promise?”
“I’ll come back, Gracie.”
He’d gently pried her hands from the fabric, hugged her, and planted a kiss on her forehead before turning to walk away.
“Please don’t die.” She ran after him, sniffling, and threw her arms around his thighs. “Promise you’ll come back.”
Gracie’s words troubled Cade. How long had she fretted over such a thing? He knelt to hug her once more. “I’ll come back. I promise, honey.”
It had taken some cajoling, but Cade had finally, with the help of Pam who was the cool-headed and compassionate PDO director, coaxed Gracie away to join the other children on the playground.
Now, as Cade crossed toward Babycakes, his own mortality loomed like a flashing neon sign.
Death happened every day and often when least expected. It could happen to him. It very nearly had happened to him decades ago. A repeat performance of the disease that had brought him to the brink would prove devastating. Where would Gracie go? What would happen to her? The weight of responsibility caused Cade’s shoulders to sag and his stomach to churn. He was all Gracie had left in this world, pitiful as that seemed at times.
Cade pulled on the door handle but it wouldn’t budge. The entrance to Babycakes was locked. He checked his watch and groaned when he realized it was barely half-past nine. Of course the entrance was locked; the sign on the door clearly stated business hours were eleven to eight.
Undeterred, Cade rapped on the glass. A shadow crossed the doorway to the children’s room, and then Emmy rounded the corner and came his way like an angel straight from heaven. A denim skirt kissed her knees and strappy sandals showed off polished toes in the same pink hue as Babycakes’ signature aprons. Her eyes, bright as gemstones, grew wide at the sight of him. And that hair…a blonde veil of silky waves that tumbled down to stroke her waist…stole every ounce of his breath.
Her smile flashed as she neared and then quickly dipped to a frown.
She unlocked the door and the glass swung wide. “What’s wrong, Cade? You look like someone just stole your favorite toy.”
“I just dropped Gracie at Parents’ Day Out. It didn’t go so well.”
“Oh…that’s not good.” Emmy stepped aside to allow him entry. “Poor baby has been through the gauntlet of changes. It’s sure to require some adjusting. Hang on and I’ll pour you a cup of coffee. Then you can cry on my shoulder.”
Poor baby…did she mean him or Gracie? There was no telling.
But he liked the sound of coffee and the fact that Emmy was willing to lend an ear. Gracie was a blessing in his life, for sure, and Cade did his best not to question God’s reasons for the events that had brought her to him. Yet, at times, the urge to shake a fist at the Big Man Upstairs overwhelmed Cade and he had a hard time stuffing it.
“Here you go.” Emmy returned with a go-cup of java and a wedge of apple crisp topped with a generous swirl of Very Vanilla. “Have a seat. The doctor is in.”
Cade waited for her to be seated and then claimed the seat across from her. The sweet scent of carnations winked from a crystal vase at the table’s center. Cade scooted the vase aside for a better look at her.
“I shouldn’t be here, Emmy. I should be at the office, working on your spotlight article and making a journalist’s name for myself in this town.”
“But you are here, and the article can wait. Marcie and I were supposed to go over menu changes, but she’s home with a sick little one so...”
“I don’t know why I came.” Yet he had come. There was something about Emmy…something that drew him in and stuck like burrs on cotton. “I’m interrupting your work.”
“My work can wait, as well. Whatever’s on your mind is more important, Cade. So, spill the beans.”
“I’m not exactly sure how to put it all into words.”
“Well, that does present a problem.” She frowned. “You’re an investigative reporter and, by your own admission, highly skilled. So put those skills to work and start at the beginning. You said Gracie was upset. Were her tears due to first day butterflies or something a little more serious?”
****
As the story unfolded, Emmy’s resolve softened. Cade spoke from his heart, and a time or two she could have sworn he swiped at his eyes not in an attempt to keep weariness at bay, but to coax back the tears that threatened to spill.
“I feel at times as if I’m walking a tightrope, Emmy. I’m not prepared to be a father, especially on my own.”
“I don’t suppose anyone ever feels truly prepared for such a daunting role.”
But that doesn’t stop me from wishing…from praying that one day I might have the privilege and joy of becoming a mother.
Cade leaned in. “Can I share something with you?”
“Of course you can. What is it, Cade?”
“Sometimes I feel like what happened to Gracie…to my sister and Scott…is all my fault.”
“Your fault?” Emmy’s breath caught. “How so?”
Cade’s silence filled the air around them. Emmy waited, willing him to speak but unwilling to force the issue.
“I…I think I’ve said too much.” The words tumbled as Cade raked a hand through his hair. “I should go before I say any more.”
“That’s my line, Cade, so I’ll use one of yours.” Emmy captured his gaze, held tight. “You can trust me.”
“I know that. Even so…”
“I won’t pry.” She pushed back from the table, not willing to force Cade into something that made him uncomfortable. “But when you’re ready…”
“Wait.” He reached for her, drew her back. “I suppose it’s only fair to tell you before we go any further, because I care about you, Emmy. I can’t explain it, but I’d like to know you more. And I don’t take that lightly.”
“Neither do I, Cade. But I told you—”
“I know…you are a self-professed non-dater.”
“I was…until I met you. But I think that I might be willing to change my status. I think…”
“You do?”
“Yes.”
“Then it’s even more important that I get all I have to tell you onto the table before you say anything, OK?”
“I promise. I’ll be quiet and not say a thing.”
“This is tougher than I thought it would be.” Cade sighed and rubbed his palms over the tabletop. “I’m thirty, Emmy.”
“And I’m twenty-seven. So what?”
“Shh…you promised. I need to…get this all out.”
“Sorry.” Emmy pursed her lips and mimed a locking motion over them with one hand before tossing the imaginary key over one shoulder.
“I’m closing in on thirty-one and about a year ago I started to have these feelings—call them longings if you’d like—to have a family of my own. I’d watched Amy and Scott mature from college kids to a married couple and then gracefully slide into the role of parents when Gracie came along. And I thought that’s really nice to build something solid, something that will leave a legacy for generations to come. I guess I began to feel a little left out because I’ll never have kids of my own, Emmy…at least not the way most people do.”
“What? Why?”
“I had leukemia when I was thirteen and the treatments took a toll. I’ve been cancer-free for almost two decades, and I’m truly thankful for that, but the doctors aren’t sure how the treatments have affected my chances of fathering a child. I won’t know until I actually get to that point.”
“Oh, Cade, I understand…” Emmy balled her hand into a fist and pressed it to her lips a
s emotion welled along the length of her throat. How could this be? What were the chances they shared the same burden? “I do, truly.”
“I was feeling a little sorry for myself, wondering what the future holds. I guess you could say a firestorm of bitterness invaded my heart. It wasn’t pretty, to say the least. And then the accident happened, and Gracie came to me, and I thought…maybe I caused this tragedy. Maybe I just wished too hard for a life-path that was never meant to be mine.”
“You mustn’t think that way, Cade. God’s plans are perfect, no matter how bitter they might be to swallow. You have to believe that and trust it with your whole heart. I have to trust that it’s so or—”
“What, Emmy? Or what?”
“I’d live in a state of bitterness, as well.”
7
“Hi, Cade.” Emmy stepped back as he pushed open the door to his cottage a few days later. “I hope I’m not intruding.”
“Oh, you are never an intrusion.” He eyed the baking dish cradled in her hands. “What do you have there?”
“A chicken noodle casserole. It’s Grandma June’s famous—at least as far as my family goes—recipe. I thought you and Gracie might like to try it.”
“Your timing is perfect.” Cade stepped forward to take the casserole dish, which was wrapped in a dishtowel, from her. “Gracie went over to Miss Vivian’s to dig in her garden for a while, and I was just thinking about what I’d like to make for dinner when she returns soon. She’ll be glad to see you, and so am I. Come on in.”
“Oh…I didn’t mean to stay. I made the casserole for you and Gracie to share.”
“Well, we’re not going to eat it without you.” He turned and slid to the side to coax her in. “Emmy, please…stay for a while.”
“OK, then.” She stepped over the threshold and into the living room. Gracie’s coloring books and a box of crayons were piled on the coffee table while a pair of her tennis shoes lay in the corner near the doorway. A light mewling sounded as a kitten wove its way through the legs of the sofa.
“Oh, she’s precious.” Emmy bent to pick up the golden ball of fur. “Just a beautiful little thing.”
“Say hello to Sugarplum—Sugar for short.” Cade smiled. “Gracie found her roaming along the walking trail while we were out the other night. She begged me to take her in, with Miss Vivian’s stamp of approval, of course.”
“Oh, the Vivian Hart I know could never deny this beautiful fluff.”
“She couldn’t, so here we are…”
The kitten nestled its head in the crook of Emmy’s arm and closed its eyes, purring softly as it snuggled against her. “She can’t be more than a month or two old.”
“The vet said six weeks…a mere baby.”
Emmy glanced up at him, her eyes settling on the shadowed strength of his jawline and his warm, blue eyes. “Speaking of babies, Cade, I have something to tell you. It’s been eating away at me since you came into Babycakes last Monday morning.”
“You look serious, Emmy.”
“I am.”
Cade shifted the casserole dish to one hand and reached for her with his other. “Let’s head into the kitchen and set this casserole down. We can talk over a cup of coffee.”
Emmy followed him into the kitchen and lay Sugar on the throw rug near the French doors, where a sliver of waning sunset slipped through the glass to warm her. Then she settled in at the table and waited while Cade placed the casserole dish on the counter and filled two mugs with coffee.
“A splash of cream, no sugar, right?” He glanced at her as he asked.
“Perfect. You remembered.”
“Of course. If it’s important to you, then it’s important to me as well. I want you to know that.”
“I’m beginning to understand.”
“Good.” Cade strode over to join her at the table. He set the mugs down and then handed her a copy of the Angel Falls Trumpet. “It’s an advance copy of tomorrow’s edition. I was going to bring it over to you after dinner, but since you’re here…”
“Oh, Cade…it’s a magnificent front page spread.” The headline read, ‘Babycakes proves a delightful slice of Heaven.’
“Yes. Only the best for you, Emmy Lassiter.”
“How did you manage such exposure for your first feature story?”
“Marcie’s not the only one in town with connections.” He winked and lifted a hand to smooth back a wisp of her hair. His fingers lingered along her cheek, grazing the skin with his knuckles. The clean scent of his aftershave drifted. “I have my ways.”
“Well, thank you. This means so much.”
He captured her gaze, held tight. “Will it scare you away if I tell you I’m falling for you…that I’m falling in love with you, Emmy?”
“I’d tell you I feel the same, and it’s both wonderful and terrible at the same time.”
“Why?”
“Because you shouldn’t.” Emmy sat back as fingers of panic pinched at her. “You mustn’t fall in love with me.”
“Why not?”
“Because…you won’t care much about pursuing that sort of future with me when I tell you what I came here to tell you.”
“Then you don’t know me very well, because what I’m beginning to feel for you is real and deep. I can’t explain it, but it started the first time I saw you, while I was sitting at the traffic light outside Babycakes.”
“Oh, Cade…” Tears filled Emmy’s eyes as she fisted a hand and pressed it to her lips. “I’m broken.”
“Broken? There’s nothing broken about you.” Cade reached for her free hand and squeezed gently. “You’re one of the most put-together people I know.”
“That’s what you think. But I know the truth.”
“Tell me then. Don’t be afraid. Don’t hold back. I want to know you—all of you.”
“Ok then…but let me get it all out, just like you had to before. Please don’t interrupt or I might…I just might…”
“The floor is all yours.” Cade crossed his heart. “I promise.”
“OK, then…I was in an accident when I was sixteen.” Emmy began slowly, “I went skiing with some friends, and I took a black-diamond trail on a dare that I wasn’t anywhere near ready for.”
She wondered if Cade could sense the dread in her voice. The memories flooded back like an ominous black wave as she relayed the story.
“I veered off course and hit a stand of trees. I shredded through them, by some miracle not plowing into a single one.” She felt the wind against her cheeks, heard the rush of pine as branches slapped at her face. “But it was the drop off that did me in.” She shivered as suddenly the ground once again disappeared beneath her feet. “I plunged thirty feet through rock and brush until I came to rest on a ledge.” The skis had snapped off from the impact of the rocks, twisting her lower body like a ragdoll. Now, Emmy heard the echo as metal slapped the stone. “By then, my right leg was fractured in two places, my ribs cracked and bruised. I sustained a concussion that knocked me out cold. When I came to, I was in the recovery room and my parents were both there with me. Mom was in tears so I knew…I just knew. A few days later the doctor broke the news to me.”
“Considering the loss of one ovary from your surgery and damage to the second, you have about a ten percent chance of ever conceiving, Emmy, and that’s under the best conditions.”
Cade leaned close to stroke her cheek. His touch comforted. “What news?”
“Children are most likely out of the question for me, Cade. Even though it isn’t evident from looking at me, my insides, they’re…broken.”
****
“A life challenge doesn’t have to be the end of the road,” Cade murmured as he shifted into the seat beside her. “It can be the beginning, if you let it.”
“You’re not…turned off to me?”
“Turned off?” Cade chuckled softly. “I’m quite the opposite, actually. I’m falling in love with you, Emmy. I can’t explain it, but it’s as real as me sitting here.”
/>
“I don’t understand. Derek said—”
“Therein lies the problem, sweetheart. I’m not Derek. I’m Cade, and I’ll say it again…I’m falling in love with you.”
“You’re what?”
“Falling in love with you.” He leaned in to press his lips to her cheek before dipping lower to claim her mouth. “I’ll repeat it as many times as it takes for it to sink into that pretty little head of yours.”
“Oh, Cade…I’m sorry for doubting you.” She kissed him back, breathless. “And I’ll tell you a secret…I’m falling in love with you, too.”
“That’s good…perfect, actually.” He grinned as he smoothed silken hair from her cheek. “Just remember this—if you claim to be broken, then I am, too. Together with love and the grace of God, we can be made whole again.”
This time, Emmy leaned in to claim a kiss. Heat coursed up Cade’s spine as a voice whispered, “May love find all who enter here.”
Footsteps clattered along the back porch and a flurry of raps along the glass drew Cade back to reality.
“Emmy! Emmy, hi!” Gracie squealed. “Open the door, Uncle Cade.”
He drew back from Emmy, and Gracie came into focus through the French door glass. Beside her stood Miss Vivian, her salt-and-pepper hair slightly disheveled from the breeze. Both Miss Vivian and Gracie grinned at him as if he’d been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.
Cade stood and crossed to let them in.
“Emmy!” Gracie flew to her arms and hugged tight. “You came to see me.”
“Of course I did.”
“Will you read me a story?”
“Sure, whichever one you’d like.”
“Don’t go away.” Gracie tugged at Emmy’s hand. “I’ll be right back.”
“And I’ll be right here.”
Gracie kissed Emmy’s cheek and scampered off.
“I see the angels have been at work.” Vivian patted Cade on the back. “They’re still batting a thousand. Ah…I love Heart’s Haven.”
“We love it, too, Miss Vivian.” Cade wrapped his arm around Emmy’s shoulders and gathered her close. The soft, citrusy scent of her hair proved familiar as sunshine. He prayed it was just the beginning of many, many familiarities they’d share.
