I saw Cyn move out of the corner up my eye as I was typing a message to Lo, when she grabbed my phone out of my hand and shoved it into her pocket. “Nope, you’re going. I’m fine Meg. Get your ass in there and get dressed.”
“Cyn, I’m worried about you. I haven’t spent much time with you since Asshat’s demise. Lo can see me some other time. He will have to deal with it.”
“Nope. I don’t want to talk about it, Meg. There isn’t anything more to say. I just needed to get out of the house. His shit is all over my house and it just makes me want to burn the fucking house down every time I see it, so I figured it was safer for me to come over here than burn the fucker down.” Cyn held a hand out to me to help me up.
“How about I go to the clubhouse for a little bit and you stay here, as long as you promise not to burn my house down, and then we can watch some Reynold’s ass when I get back. Deal?” I joked.
“Works for me. Now get your ass up, stop worrying about me, and go make yourself hot for that fine piece of ass that is waiting for you.” I grabbed Cyn’s hand, letting her pull me up.
“I love you, Cyn. I’m always here if you need me.” I whispered into Cyn’s ear as I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her.
“I know, Meg, that’s why I came over. I love you, too.” Cyn pulled out of my arms and looked at me. “Now enough of this lesbian shit, let’s get you dressed and shipped off to Stud Muffin, and I can dig into some Chinese and imagine Ryan Reynolds tied to my bed.” She made a shooing motion with her hands to me.
I turned and headed into the bedroom, giggling. “I think Rigid would look much better tied to your bed.”
“Hmm, you are right, he definitely looks better, but as soon as he opens his mouth I want to slap some tape over it and tie his hands behind his back.”
I walked to my closet, slapping hangers back and forth, trying to find something to wear. “What happened last night when he called you?” I pulled out a couple of possible shirts and threw them on the bed.
“He called me up and told me to get my sweet ass over to your house. I told him I had plans with my parents and he told me to cancel them. I told him what I thought of him bossing me around and told him to fuck off.” Cyn looked at the shirts I threw on the bed, and threw them back at me. “Not sexy enough.”
“I’m not sexy, Cyn.” I grabbed them and hung them back up.
“Yes, you are. Wear those ripped jeans and that shirt that has a lace back.” Cyn laid down on my bed and threw her hands behind her head.
I grabbed the jeans and shirt she told me to and threw them on the bed. I shimmed out of my sweatpants. “So you’re done with Rigid?”
“Not sure. I totally want him, but I don’t think I want some asshole telling me what to do.”
“Well, it’s only been a couple of weeks since Asshat, maybe you just need to be by yourself and figure out what you want.” I pulled my jeans on and rummaged through my drawers looking for an undershirt.
“You better not be wearing anything under that shirt. The whole point of the lace panel on the back is to show a little skin.” Cyn insisted.
“Yeah well, I’m thirty-six, not twenty-six, and I have back fat.”
“Whatever. You’re hot. Even with an undershirt on, Stud Muffin won’t be able to keep his hands off you.”
“Let’s hope.” I mumbled at I pulled the black undershirt on and then the lace back top. The front of it look like a normal shirt that was bright pink with black cheetah spots all of it, but the back had a panel of black lace that ran from collar to bottom hem. “There, what do you think?” I asked as I twirled around.
“Could be sexier if you didn’t wear that black shirt, but still, you look like one hot mama.”
“Thanks Hun, we could make you look like one hot mama too if you want to come.” I smirked as I pulled my black motorcycle boots out of the closet.
“Maybe next time. I’m sure the second Lo sees you he’s going to drag you to a dark corner and rip all your clothes off.”
“Let’s hope.” We both giggled.
“Ok, you go get some, and I’m going to get me some Chinese.” Cyn grabbed her keys out of her pocket and jingled them.
“You come with, I’m sure Rigid would give ya some.” I giggled.
“I’ll stick with the Chinese tonight.”
“Ok, honey, I won’t be gone long. Promise. Help me load the truck up?” I asked as I walked into the kitchen and picked up two pans of bars.
“Holy shit, Meg, you made banana bars! My fucking favorite. You better bring me some.” Cyn exclaimed as she picked up the other pan and followed me out the door.
“I’ll try to sneak a piece before they devour them.’ I laughed as I put them on the seat next to me. ‘Does it look like I’m trying to hard?” I asked Cyn as we looked down at my passenger seat that was filled.
“No. It looks like you are trying to fatten them up.” Cyn joked.
“Oh my god, Cyn, here take the banana and Twix bars back in with you. I’m such an idiot. It looks like I’m trying to impress them. Take ‘em all back in. I’m not going.” I ranted as I shoved a pan into Cyn’s arms.
“Meg, what the fuck. You were fine a second ago. What the hell is going through your mind?” Cyn set the pan back on the seat and looked at me.
“Lo is so hot, Cyn. What happens when he gets sick of me? When he sees something else he likes and tells me to take a hike? I feel like I’m competing with his past, all the girls who were prettier than me and better than me. I have to be better than them and I’m not. I’m not going.” I grabbed the pan and shoved it back into Cyn’s hands.
“Have you told this to Lo?”
“Not in so many words, but yeah, he knows.”
“What did he tell you?”
“I was the best lay he’d ever had and to stop thinking. Literally, stop thinking.” I replied.
“I’m starting to like Lo more and more.” Cyn murmured.
“What do I do, Cyn?” I gulped.
Cyn put the pan back on the seat again, moved me out of the way, and slammed the door shut. “Stop thinking.”
I blinked at Cyn and stammered, “Really? That’s all the advice you have, Stop thinking?”
“Yes. Meg, you are so confident, but not when it comes to your looks, if that makes sense. You are the nicest, kindest, most generous person I know. You would do anything for your friends, but you do nothing for yourself. Am I pretty?” Cyn inquired.
“This seems kind of off topic, but yes, you’re beautiful. You have the clearest skin I’ve ever seen, an awesome smile, and ass and tits for days. Any guy who doesn’t like you should take a long walk off a short pier.” I replied.
“Jesus Christ, Meg! Even in the middle of a breakdown you put my need before yours. You should have told me to fuck off when I asked that, instead you tell me I’m beautiful. Who does that? Put yourself first for once, Meg.”
“You just went through a bad break up, Cyn, you have needs too.”
“Fuck my needs, Meg! I’m sick of people asking me how I am. Forget about me. What do you want?” Cyn demanded.
I knew what I wanted, I just didn’t know if I deserved it. “Lo.”
“Then take it, for however long it lasts. If it falls apart, I’ll be here. Just like you were there when I fell apart.”
“I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want to let someone have the power to hurt me and make me feel like shit. I gave that power to Hunter for so many years, I’m afraid if I give that power to Lo, it will destroy me.” I sobbed, tears spilling down my cheeks.
“Oh Meg, Hunter was an Asshat. I knew it the instant I meet him. You want to know what I thought the instant I meet Lo.”
I wiped my cheeks and sniffled my nose. “Same thing I thought, fuck he’s hot.” I whimpered.
Cyn laughed and shook her head at me. “Well, yeah. But I also thought, he was exactly what you needed. The way he looked at you at Tig’s, fuck Meg, he didn’t see anyone, but you. You need to just go with it.
I don’t think Lo’s intention is to hurt you, honey.”
“I don’t think anyone goes into a relationship with the intention of hurting someone, Cyn, it still happens though.”
“Then keep your eyes open and pay attention, Meg. If he does something you don’t like, tell him, and talk about it. But just let yourself go, Lo could be exactly what you need.”
I wiped my eyes again because dammit I couldn’t stop crying and took a deep breath. “I’m gonna go. But I’m not going to be some naive little girl thinking that Lo is my happy ending. Some people don’t get happy endings. I’m just going to go with it and when he is done with me, then I’m done with him, right?”
“Yes, kind of. You deserve a happy ending, Meg. Don’t forget that.”
I hugged Cyn and hopped in my truck. Cyn walked to her car, off to get Chinese and come back to my house.
I took another calming breath, and put my truck in reverse and headed to the clubhouse. Everything Cyn said was true. I needed to stop thinking of all the bad things that could happen and just focus on right now. Nothing was guaranteed in life and I just needed to start enjoying it.
Broken heart be damned. If Lo broke my heart, I would just put it back together like I did before.
Time to enjoy Lo.
======
Lo
It was barely six o’clock and the party was already in full swing. I knew all of my brothers had been working hard on wrapping up the drug shit and were already focusing on the strip club now and deserved to have a little fun tonight.
The meet with Big A had gone off without a hitch, but all of the brothers agreed that we needed to keep an eye on the transition. We were going to make sure the Assassins keep up their part of the deal, which was to keep the fuck away from the Devil’s Knights.
I was sitting at the bar, facing the door so I would see Meg when she walked in right away, and nursing a beer. Turtle was tending bar tonight and all the brothers were keeping him on his toes with all the beer and shots they were downing.
“She coming tonight?” Demon asked, as he sat on a stool next to me with a blonde on his lap. Her shirt was hanging off one shoulder, dangerously close to exposing her tit. Bitch probably cut her shirt, so that shit would happen. That kind of shit use to drive me crazy, make me want to yank her shirt off. Now, all it did was make me roll my fucking eyes and look to the door to see if Meg was here yet.
“Should be here anytime.” I growled as the door opened, but all that entered was a fucking group of pussy that held no fucking appeal to me.
“You need something to relieve the pressure?” Demon’s pussy asked as she ran her hand up my arm.
I turned to look at her and ripped her hand off. “Get the fuck off me.”
“Aw, come one. The girls and I heard you were seeing someone. Why not let me and Cherry help you out before she gets here. I bet she can’t do the things we can.” She nodded to my left and some pussy I had fucked a while ago walked up. I didn’t even know her name was Cherry when I fucked her. She really was just something to help relieve the pressure. I looked her up and down, which she took as the go ahead to touch me, and wrapped her arm around my neck and pushed her tits into my face.
“Give me five minutes and I can rock your world, King baby.” She whispered in my ear.
The smell of her perfume was suffocating me, and I again wondered what the fuck I ever saw in any of these bitches. I grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back. She squealed as I added pressure and got right in her face. “Spread the fucking word, bitch. I don’t want any of yours or any other bitch’s pussy. You got me? Keep your fucking hands off me or I will rip your fucking fake ass tits off.” I twisted her arm a little tighter then released her. She stumbled away from me, landing on her ass.
Speed moved to help her up, but I pierced with my gaze, letting him know to not fucking touch her. He held his hands up in surrender and sat back down. She scurried off the floor and took off.
“I think you got your message through that time, King.” Demon chuckled beside me.
I looked over and saw the pussy he had sitting on his lap before was gone. “Sorry you lost your pussy for the night. But I’m not fucking sorry about scaring the shit out of that bitch.”
“Plenty of others out there for me, brother. No fucking skin off my teeth which one ends up face down, ass up in my bed tonight.” Demon raised his hand at Turtle for another beer and threw his empty one in the garbage.
“There is plenty to choose from.” I scanned to clubhouse seeing there was probably three girls to every guy. Definitely plenty to go around for the brothers tonight. Ever since we moved into town, the fucking bitches around here were clamoring to get invited to parties. Plenty of pussy for everyone. Except me. The only pussy that would fucking do for me had yet to show up. I pulled my phone out, double checking to make sure I hadn’t missed a call from her. I didn’t get a chance to call her today and by the time we had gotten back to the clubhouse it was five thirty. I had decided to wait for her to show up, even though my fucking dick had been screaming for her all day.
“What the fuck is Mickey carrying?” Demon asked, snapping me out of my thinking.
“Not a fucking clue.” I replied as he walked up to me and Demon, setting two pans down on the bar.
Demon took the cover off one and sniffed it. “Where the fuck did you get these from?”
“Meg. I saw her struggling through the door with them and offered to carry them in. She said she had one more to get from the truck.” Mickey grunted as he walked around the bar and rummaged through the drawers, looking for a knife.
Meg was here. My dick fucking twitched at the thought of her being here and my eyes shot to the door, waiting for her to come back in.
Except she never did.
Fuck.
======
Chapter 21
Meg
I was home. Yup. Home.
I had walked into the clubhouse, juggling the Twix and s’more bars, when Mickey walked up and took them from me, offering to help. I told him I had one more pan to get and moved to go back outside. Except something made me look to the bar. I saw Lo and froze.
Lo was with some woman who had her arm wrapped around his neck and she was whispering into his ear. I saw him reach up and wrap his hand around her arm and I unfroze. I ran out the door, straight to my truck and got the fuck out of there.
I pulled into my driveway, hoping Cyn was back, but she wasn’t. I couldn’t believe what I had just saw. Just this morning, Lo made me promise I was his and what do I see as soon as I walked into the clubhouse, some chick hanging all over him, tits in his face, gorgeous body draped over him. I was a fucking idiot.
I grabbed the banana bars off the seat and headed into the house. I set them on the table, thinking at least Cyn will be happy I didn’t leave the banana bars there. I heard the roar of a motorcycle and heavy boots pounding up my stairs.
I thought I would have a little time before I would have to face Lo, thinking he was fucking some random girl. Apparently not.
I walked into the living room and waited. I looked through the screen door and saw Lo standing there.
“Why’d you leave?” He demanded.
“You looked like you were pretty busy. I didn’t want to bother you.” I snapped back. He banged through the screen door and got in my face.
“What the fuck are you talking about? I was drinking a fucking beer, waiting for you.”
“Well, I guess we have different ideas of what to do with the time while waiting. I would read a book or take a nap if I’m waiting, you think messing around is a good thing to do while waiting.” I screamed at him.
“What the fuck!” He boomed back at me. “I wasn’t fucking around.”
“Well, the fucking big titted blonde hanging all over you would probably tell me differently.”
Lo shook his head at me and laughed. The fucker laughed at me. “Glad to see you can find some fucking humor in this, King.’ I sneered at him. ‘No
w get the fuck out.”
“You didn’t stay till the end of the show did you, babe, when I told her to keep her fucking hands off and if she didn’t I would rip her fucking tits off.”
I flinched at the harshness of his words. “Doesn’t matter if I missed the end. I’m not the kind of woman who can stand by and watch other woman hit on the guy she’s with and be ok with it. I can’t sit around waiting for the one time someone hits on you and you realize you want to take them up on their offer.”
Lo shook his head at me and crossed his arms over his chest. “I see in the ten minutes it took me to get here, you filled your head with so much bullshit about me that sweet Meg is fucking gone.” He fumed at me.
“That Meg you want is gone. She’s been hurt too much to come back.” I responded.
“No, she’s not. She’s just burying her head in the fucking sand, running away. I know she’s in there, I’ve seen glimpses of her. I want her back because I am getting fucking sick and tired of having to convince you to be with me. I leave you for six fucking hours and I come back to you with your walls built up, convinced I’m cheating on you. ” He roared.
“You don’t always get what you want, Lo.” I whispered. “I can’t live my life feeling like I need to be better than your last, worried that I won’t be good enough.”
“You act like I am throwing my past in your face. Not once have I brought it up.”
“You don’t have to talk about it, for it to be thrown in my face. How many of those girls there tonight were you with? Have you fucked that woman who was draped all over you?” I ranted.
Lo shifted his eyes to the left and I got my answer. He had fucked her and probably most of those girls there tonight. I couldn’t handle this. “I can’t do this. I can’t sit back and let you hurt me. I did it for twelve years, I’m not going to let you do it to me now.”
“I am not your ex, Meg. Stop fucking confusing the two of us. You had the two of us over in your mind before we even started.” Lo accused.
“It’s called being cautious, Lo. If we stay together, I can’t handle the day that comes when you destroy me. Please leave.”
Loving Lo: Devil's Knights Series Page 14
