“Now.”
I heard the phone click.
“Well,” I said.
“Wait,” he said.
I sat on my side of the phone in silence, wondering what we were waiting for. Finally Edward said, “He’s off.”
“Does he listen in on phone conversations a lot?”
“No.”
“How do you know he doesn’t?”
“I know…” He stopped himself, and said, “I don’t think he does. I think you’re a special case for Peter. He’s in Donna’s old room. I told him he could keep the phone if he behaved. I’ll talk to him.”
“If he’s in Donna’s old room, where are you and she sleeping? Not that it’s any of my business,” I added.
“We put a master suite on the house.”
“Have you moved in, then?”
“Pretty much.”
“You sell your house?” I asked.
“No.”
“I guess Batman can’t sell the bat cave.”
“Something like that.” But his voice, which had started a little friendly, was not friendly now. It was empty, the old pre-Donna Edward talking to me. He might be talking about domestic bliss and raising teenagers, but he was still the coldest killer I’d ever met, and that person was still in there. I wasn’t sure whether I couldn’t bear the thought of him watching Becca at ballet class, or would have paid to see him sitting with all the other parents waiting for their leotard-clad darlings.
“If I lied well enough I’d just make something up and hang up.”
“Why?” he asked, in that empty voice.
“Because Peter answering the phone made me realize that it’s not all fun and games anymore. If I get you killed, then they lose another father. I don’t want to have to explain that to Peter, or Donna, or Becca.”
“But especially Peter,” he said.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Since you can’t lie to me, just tell me, Anita.” His voice was a little softer now, a little feeling to it. Edward liked me; we were friends. He’d miss me if I were gone, and I’d miss him, but there was still a little question on whether one day we’d find ourselves on the opposite sides of a problem, and have to finally see which of us was the better man. I was hoping that day would never come, because there was no way for me to win the fight now; dead or alive, we’d both lose.
“Do you know what the Harlequin are?” I asked.
“French clowns?” he said, and let himself sound puzzled.
“Do you know them in any other context?”
“Twenty questions isn’t like you, Anita; just talk.”
“I just wanted to see if I was the only vampire hunter extraordinaire who was totally in the dark about this. It makes me feel a little better that you don’t know about them either. Apparently Jean-Claude is right; they really are a big, dark secret.”
“Talk,” he said.
I talked. I told him what little I knew about the Harlequin and his band. It really wasn’t that much.
He was quiet so long that I said, “Edward, I can hear you breathing, but…”
“I’m here, Anita. Just thinking.”
“Thinking what?” I asked.
“That you always let me play with the best toys.” And his voice wasn’t empty now, it was eager.
“And what if these toys finally manage to be bigger and badder than you and me?”
“Then we die.”
“Just like that,” I said. “You wouldn’t have regrets?”
“You mean Donna and the kids?”
“Yes,” I said, and I stood, starting to pace the bathroom.
“I would regret leaving them.”
“Then don’t come,” I said.
“And if you get killed, I’d always believe that I could have saved you. No, Anita, I’ll come, but I will bring backup.”
“Not anyone too crazy, okay?”
He laughed, that chuckle of true delight that I’d heard maybe six times in the entire seven years I’d known him. “I can’t promise that, Anita.”
“Fine, but Edward, I’m serious. I don’t want to get you killed on them.”
“I can’t stop being who I am just because I love Donna, Anita. I can’t stop being what I am because I’ve got the kids to think about.”
“Why not?” I asked, and I was thinking of a conversation Richard and I had had when we thought I was pregnant. He’d expected that if I were pregnant I’d stop being a federal marshal or vampire hunter. I hadn’t agreed.
“Because it wouldn’t be me, and they love me. Donna and Becca may not know everything that Peter does about me, but they know enough. They know what I had to do to save the kids when Riker took them.”
Riker had been a very bad man. He had been doing illegal archaeology digs, and Donna’s amateur protection group had gotten in their way. It actually hadn’t been Edward or me that first got the kids on Riker’s radar. Nice to know we weren’t completely to blame for what happened. Riker had wanted me to do a certain spell for him, which truthfully I hadn’t been necromancer enough to do, but he wouldn’t believe me. He tortured the children to get my, and Edward’s, cooperation. Six-year-old, now eight-year-old, Becca had gotten a badly broken hand. Peter had been sexually molested by a female guard. We’d had to watch on videotape. We’d killed Riker and all his people. We rescued the kids, and Edward had made me give Peter my backup gun. Edward decided in that moment that if we lost, he preferred Peter to be killed resisting, rather than taken again. I hadn’t argued, not after what they’d done to him. I had watched Peter empty my gun into the body of the woman who’d hurt him. He’d kept dry-firing into her body until I wrestled the gun away from him. I still saw his eyes when he told me, “I wanted her to hurt.”
I knew that Peter had lost some of his innocence the night his father died and he had to pick up a gun to protect his family. He’d taken a life, but I think he thought it was killing a monster, and that didn’t really count. Hell, once I’d thought the same thing about monsters. Killing the woman who had hurt him had taken more from him, a bigger piece of his soul. I couldn’t even imagine how big a piece the sexual abuse stole away. Had it been better for him to have his revenge so quickly? Or had it cost him more?
I’d told him the only truth I had that night: “You killed her, Peter. That’s as good as revenge gets. Once you kill them, there isn’t any more.” Revenge was always the easy part; the hard part was living with it afterward. Living with what you’d done. Living with what they’d done to you, or those you loved.
“Anita, are you there? Anita, answer me.”
“Sorry, Edward, I didn’t hear a damn thing you said.”
“You’re a thousand miles away inside your own thoughts. That’s not a good place to be in the middle of a firefight.”
“It hasn’t come to a firefight yet,” I said.
“You know what I mean, Anita. I have to round up my backup and arrange transport. That’ll take a day or so. I’ll be there as soon as I can, but you need to watch your back until I get there.”
“I’ll do my best not to get killed before you get here.”
“This isn’t funny, Anita. You seem seriously distracted.”
I thought about it for a moment, then realized what was wrong. I was happy for the first time in my life. I loved the men I was living with. I, like Edward, had a family to protect, and mine wouldn’t be tucked safely in New Mexico while we cleaned this up. “I just realized that I’ve got my own family here, and I don’t like them being on the firing line. I don’t like that a lot.”
“Who are you worried about?” he asked.
“Nathaniel, Micah, Jean-Claude, all of them.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting your new lovers.”
It took me a minute to realize. “You’ve never met Micah and Nathaniel. I’d forgotten that.”
“Jean-Claude can handle himself, Anita, as well as anyone in this situation. It sounds like the shapeshifters have you covered for now. Micah is head of the local wereleopard
s. He didn’t get the job on his winning personality. He’s a survivor and a fighter, or he’d be dead already.”
“Is this supposed to be a pep talk?” I asked.
He gave a sound that was almost a laugh. “Yeah.”
“Well, you suck at it.”
He laughed then. “Which of your lovers is cannon fodder, Anita? Who are you really the most worried about?”
I took a deep breath, let it out slow, and said, “Nathaniel.”
“Why him?”
“Because he’s not a fighter. I’ve taken him to the gun range and he knows the basics.” Then I remembered a moment when Chimera, a very bad guy, had come to town. I remembered an ambush, when Nathaniel had been with me. I’d forgotten. He’d killed someone, and I’d forgotten. I hadn’t even thought how it might have affected him. Some leopard queen I was. Fuck.
“Anita, you still there?”
“Yeah, I just remembered something that I guess I was trying to forget. Nathaniel shot someone, killed him to save me. One of the wererats had gotten killed, and he picked up the guy’s gun and used it just like I’d taught him.” I was suddenly cold down to my toes. All the awful things that people had made Nathaniel do over the years while he was on the street, and it had been me that forced him to kill. He’d done it out of love, but motive didn’t change the end product. Someone was still dead.
“He’ll do, Anita.” There was a tone to Edward’s voice, approval maybe.
“You know, I hadn’t thought about what he’d done until just now. What kind of person forgets that?”
“Did he seem messed up about it?”
“No.”
“Then let it go,” Edward said.
“Just like that,” I said.
“Just like that.”
“I’m not good at letting go.”
“No, you’re not.”
“How much does Peter know about your real life as assassin to the undead and furry?”
“That’s my call, Anita, not yours.” His voice wasn’t friendly now.
“I’d love to argue, but you’re right. I haven’t laid eyes on Peter since he was fourteen.”
“He turned fifteen that year.”
“Oh, so not two years since I saw him but more like a year and a half. That gives me so much more room to bitch at you for introducing him to the scary stuff.”
“I’m just saying that he wasn’t a kid when we met him. He was a young man, and I’ve treated him like one.”
“No wonder he adores you,” I said.
It was Edward’s turn to be quiet.
“I can hear you breathing,” I said.
“You know how I said we don’t chat?”
“Yeah.”
“I finally realized, just now, you’re the only person I can talk about this with.”
“What, Peter?”
“No.”
In my head I went through the list of things that Edward could only talk to me about; nothing came to mind. “I’m all ears.”
“Donna is pushing for kids.”
That stopped me. It was my turn to be at a loss for words. I managed to stumble out some words, the wrong words. “Really? I mean, I guess I thought she was too old to start over.”
“She’s only forty-two, Anita.”
“I’m sorry, Edward. I didn’t mean it that way, I just never saw you with a baby.”
“Ditto,” he said, and he sounded angry now, too.
Worse yet, I felt my throat closing tight, my eyes burning. What the fuck was wrong with me? “Do you ever wish you had a life where you could see babies and shit like that?” I asked, and fought to keep the sudden rise of emotion under check.
“No,” he said.
“Never?” I asked.
“You thinking about a baby?” he asked.
Then I told him something I had never expected to tell Edward. “I had a serious pregnancy scare last month. False positive and everything. Let’s just say it made me reassess some parts of my life.”
“The biggest difference between us, Anita, is that if I have a baby with Donna, she carries it, not me. You would have a lot more trouble doing it.”
“I know, the whole girl thing.”
“Are you seriously thinking about babies?”
“No, I was relieved as hell when I found out I wasn’t pregnant.”
“How’d your lovers take it?”
“You know, most normal people would call them boyfriends.”
“No one woman could date as many men as you have in your life, Anita. You can fuck them, but you can’t date them. I’m having enough trouble having a relationship with one woman; I can’t imagine juggling a half dozen of them.”
“Maybe I’m just better at relationships than you are,” I said, and my voice was not friendly. I wasn’t close to tears; I had the beginnings of a nice anger warming me up.
“Maybe; girls usually are better at it.”
“Wait a minute. How do you know how many men I’m sleeping with?”
“You and your little harem are big news in the preternatural community.”
“Are we?” and I let it be hostile.
“Don’t be that way; I’d be bad at my job if I didn’t listen to my sources. You want me good at my job, right? Ted Forrester is a legal vampire hunter, a federal marshal, just like you.” It had creeped me out when I’d discovered Edward had a badge. It just seemed wrong. But too many of the vampire hunters had failed the firearms test; for the newer ones, too many hadn’t made it through the more detailed training. The government had turned further afield to get enough vampire hunter/federal marshals to cover the country. Edward had been grandfathered in on the firearms training, no sweat. But the fact that Ted Forrester had stood up to government scrutiny meant either that Edward had some high-placed friends or that Ted Forrester was his real identity—the name he’d gone into the military with, his actual true name. I’d asked him which it was, and he wouldn’t answer. Of course Edward wouldn’t answer. Such a mystery man.
“I don’t like being spied on, Edward, you know that.” Did Edward know about the ardeur? How long had it been since I’d filled him in on the metaphysics in my life? I couldn’t remember.
“How did your lov…boyfriends take the news of the almost-baby?” he asked.
“Do you really care?”
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t care,” he said, and that was probably absolutely true.
“Fine,” I said, “pretty well. Micah and Nathaniel were ready to rearrange their lives to play daddy and nanny, if I decided to keep it. Richard proposed, and I turned him down. Jean-Claude seemed like he always was: cautious, and waiting for me to decide what wouldn’t piss me off.” I thought about that. “I think Asher was pretty sure it wasn’t his, so he didn’t offer too much comment.”
“I knew you were living with Micah and Nathaniel. But when did Jean-Claude start sharing you with other vampires? I didn’t think master vamps shared well.”
“Asher is sort of an exception for Jean-Claude.”
He sighed. “Normally I’d enjoy playing with you, Anita, but it’s early, and I know you’ve had a hard morning.”
“What’s that mean?” I asked, and I couldn’t keep the suspicion out of my voice.
He made a sound halfway between a chuckle and an mmm sound. “I’ll tell you the rumors I’ve heard, and you tell me how big a lie they are.”
“Rumors,” I said. “What rumors?”
“Anita, thanks to my new status I hang with a lot of creature killers. You’re not the only one who’s got ties to the monsters in their town. Admittedly, you have the most…intimate ties to them.”
“And that means what?” I asked, and didn’t try to keep the irritation out of my voice.
“It means no one else is fucking their local Master of the City.”
Put that way, it was hard to argue with the intimate part. “Fine.”
“The Harlequin only come if you’ve gotten high enough on the radar to attract the council’s
attention, for good, or not so good, right?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“I could just ask you what you’ve been doing, you and your vampires, that has attracted their attention, but I think it’ll go quicker if I ask which rumors are true. I need to get off the phone and start gathering backup. The backup may take longer than transport or the weaponry.”
“Ask,” I said, not sure I wanted him to ask at all.
“That Jean-Claude has become his own bloodline and broken from his old mistress.”
I was surprised, very surprised. “How the hell did that rumor get started?”
“We’re wasting time, Anita, true or false?”
“Part true. He is his own bloodline. That makes it so he doesn’t have to answer to his old mistress, but he hasn’t broken with Europe. He’s just stopped being Belle Morte’s beck-and-call boy.”
“That you’ve got a string of lovers among Jean-Claude’s vamps and the local shapeshifters.”
I really didn’t want to answer this question. Was I embarrassed? Yes. “I don’t see what my love life has to do with the Harlequin coming to town.”
“Let’s just say that the answer to this question will decide me on whether I ask something else, something I didn’t believe. Now I’m beginning to wonder.”
“Wonder what?” I asked.
“Answer the question, Anita—do you have a string of lovers?”
I sighed and said, “Define string.”
“More than two, three, I guess.” He sounded uncertain.
“Yes, then.”
He was quiet for a second, then continued. “That Jean-Claude makes everyone, male or female, fuck him before they can join his kiss.”
“Not true.”
“That he makes the men fuck you?”
“Not true, and someone’s having a better fantasy life with my life than I am.”
He gave a small laugh, then said, “If you had told me no on the first question, I wouldn’t even ask this next one, but here it is. That you’re some kind of daywalking vampire that feeds off sex instead of blood. I don’t believe that one, but I thought you might be interested in what some of your fellow monster hunters are saying about you. I think they’re just jealous of your kill count.”
I swallowed hard, and went back to sit on the edge of the tub.
[Anita Blake 15] - The Harlequin Page 11
