39
THE DOCTOR TOLD me I could go. That if I exercised and didn’t let the scar tissue harden up on me, I’d be fine. He also assumed I was a shapeshifter, a new kind of shapeshifter that could do different animals. He actually used the term panwere. It was the first time I’d heard anyone but a shapeshifter say it. The doctor had never actually seen one, until me. I told him he still hadn’t seen one, but nothing I said persuaded him different, so I gave up. If people won’t believe the truth, and you don’t want to lie, then you’re out of options. Chimera had been the real deal, a true panwere, and one of the scariest beings I’d ever met. I wondered what the doctor would have made of him?
I walked down the hall to Peter’s room with Edward leading the way. Olaf brought up the rear. I didn’t like him behind me, but he wasn’t doing anything wrong. For him, he was positively being a good boy. The fact that I could feel the weight of his gaze on my back almost like a hand pressing between my shoulder blades wasn’t something I could really bitch about. I mean, what was I supposed to say, Stop looking at me? It was a little too childish for me to say it out loud, no matter how true it felt.
It didn’t help that Olaf and I were dressed alike, sort of. Edward was in his white button-down shirt and jeans, and cowboy boots. Ted Forrester dressed to be comfortable; Olaf dressed either to intimidate or because he liked the Goth assassin look. I hadn’t picked my clothes, Nathaniel had. Black jeans tight enough that the inner pants holster dug in a little, but they tucked nicely into the lace-up boots. The black T-shirt was scoop-necked and the push-up bra that was under it made sure I had plenty of scoop to show. My cross sat on my breasts, rather than hanging in front of them. How did I know Nathaniel had packed the bag and not Micah? First, the panties and bra matched, and the panties were perfect for the lower waistline of the jeans; second, the shirt and bra showed a lot of cleavage; third, the boots. Maybe my Nikes were covered in blood, they probably were, and the boots were comfy and low heeled, but Nathaniel was twenty and male and often looked at clothes from the perspective of his job. Micah had a tendency to not match everything perfectly; he would have just put on an ambi-sexual T-shirt from the T-shirt drawer we shared. The outfit wouldn’t have looked so terribly like an outfit if Micah had done it. I’d have to talk to Nathaniel about picking out things with this much cleavage when I was working with the cops. I had my backup shoulder holster instead of the custom-made leather one, which probably meant hospital efficiency had destroyed it. That would be the second or third one that had gotten cut to pieces in an emergency room.
I felt heat, or air movement, or…something. I turned and must have done it fast enough to catch Olaf in midmotion, pulling his hand back. He had almost touched me.
I glared at him, and he stared at me. Those dark, deep-set eyes stared at my face, and then his gaze slid down the front of my body in that way that men can do. That look that slides over you so that you know they’re thinking about you naked, or worse. In Olaf’s case it was probably worse.
“Stop looking at me like that,” I said.
Edward was watching us both.
“Every man who sees you tonight will be looking at you like that.” He made a gesture in the vague direction of my chest. “How can they not?”
I felt the heat run up my face, and spoke through gritted teeth. “Nathaniel picked the clothes to bring to the hospital, not me.”
“Did he buy the shirt and the bra?” Olaf asked.
“No,” I said. “I did.”
He shrugged. “Then do not blame the boy.”
“Yeah, but they’re date clothes, and I don’t think there’s going to be time for a date tonight.”
“Will we be hunting the vampire that escaped us?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, if we can figure out where she and her human servant have gotten to, yeah.”
He smiled.
“What?” I said, because the smile didn’t match what we were talking about.
“If things work out as I hope, I may owe your boy a thank-you.”
I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”
Edward touched my arm, and I jumped. “You don’t want to understand.” He led me down the hallway, his hand on my arm. Olaf stayed where he was, staring at us with that strange half-smile on his face.
“What?” I asked Edward.
He leaned in close, speaking low and quick, “While you were unconscious, Olaf came into the room. You were covered in blood and they’d cut off most of what you were wearing. He touched you, Anita. The doctors and guards chased him back, and I got him out of the room, but…”
I stumbled, because I was trying to stop, and he kept us moving. “Touched me where?” I asked.
“The stomach.”
“I don’t understand,” and then I did. “The wounds, he touched the wounds.”
“Yes,” Edward said, and stopped us outside a door.
I swallowed hard; both my pulse and a certain nausea were trying to climb up my throat. I looked down the hallway where Olaf was still standing. I knew my face showed fear; I couldn’t help it. He drew his lower lip under and bit it. I think it was an unconscious gesture. A gesture you make when you are moved to the point where you don’t think about how you look, or who’s looking. Then he moved down the hallway toward us like some black movie monster. The kind that looks human, and is human, but in their mind there’s nothing human left to talk to.
Edward opened the door and drew me inside. Apparently we weren’t waiting on Olaf. Fine with me.
I stumbled over the doorsill. His hand tightened, steadying me. The door closed on the sight of Olaf gliding up the hallway. He moved like all his muscles knew what they were doing, almost like one of the shapeshifters. He so needed killing.
I must have looked pale, because Micah came across the room and took me in his arms. He whispered against my cheek, “What’s wrong?” He hugged me tighter. “You’re shivering.”
I wrapped my arms around him and pressed as much of me against as much of him as I could. It was one of those hugs when it feels almost like you’re trying to meld yourself into the other person. Sometimes it’s sexual, but sometimes it’s because the world has gone too wrong and you need something to cling to. I clung to Micah like he was the last solid thing in the world. I buried my face against the curve of his neck and drew in the scent of his skin. He didn’t ask again what was wrong; he just held me close.
Other arms hugged me from behind; another body pressed tight against me. I didn’t need to open my eyes and see Nathaniel to know it was him. I didn’t even need the faint hint of vanilla. I knew the feel of his body against mine. I knew the feel of them holding me together.
Another body came in from the side of us. I did turn to see, and found it was Cherry. She put an arm around both men. I realized with a start that she wasn’t taller than Nathaniel now. “What’s wrong?” she asked, dark eyes worried.
What did I say? That I was afraid of Olaf? That the thought that he’d caressed my wounds creeped me? That I wondered if he’d touched that bulge of intestine the way a man touches a breast? That I wanted to know, and didn’t want to know?
The door opened behind us. Edward nodded at me and went to the opening door. He spoke softly, then walked out the door to talk to Olaf in private, or maybe to simply keep him away from me for a while. Whichever, I was grateful. Of course, that left me with Edward’s other backup.
I looked past Micah’s shoulder and Cherry’s arm to the bed in the room. Pain had brought more of the shadow of that boy I’d first met into Peter’s face. He looked pale and terribly young lying there hooked up to tubes and monitors. When I woke up, I hadn’t been hooked up to anything that monitored my vitals. How much worse off was he than me?
I whispered, “I don’t think I can explain what’s wrong.”
Cherry gave me narrow eyes.
“I’ll try to explain later, promise.”
She frowned at me, but stepped back as if she knew what I was going to do. Maybe s
he did. I’d probably made some small movement toward the bed, or turned my body as if prepping to move. Most people wouldn’t notice, but a lot of the shapeshifters would.
I hugged Micah again, a little less intensely, and he kissed me. It was a gentle, lingering kiss. If Peter hadn’t been watching I might have made it more, but he was, and Edward was taking care of big and scary in the hallway. That left me with not so big, but scary in a very different way. I leaned back to look over my shoulder at Nathaniel. He kissed my cheek, putting his hand against the other side of my face so he could press our faces together. I turned so he could get more of a kiss, but he gave me one of the most delicate, gentlemanly kisses he’d ever given me. I drew back, giving him puzzled eyes. His lavender gaze flicked across the room toward the bed. I got it, and didn’t. Something about Peter watching made Nathaniel behave himself, but I didn’t know why, or what. I mean it was a kiss, not making out. I pushed the thought away into the crowd of other confusing thoughts. There were so many of them, I felt like I needed a cage to hold them in, so that all the things I didn’t understand wouldn’t overwhelm me.
I got a better look at Nathaniel’s clothes and realized he’d dressed himself almost exactly as he’d dressed me, except his T-shirt was a boy’s, and he wasn’t wearing any weapons. We looked like we should be going clubbing. Hard to complain about how someone dresses you when they’re wearing the same outfit. The clothes were minor problems compared to what was waiting.
I took a deep breath and pushed out of the circle of comforting hands. I moved out of that circle of warmth to face the current confusing thought. This one was staring at me with brown eyes that looked like islands in the pale skin of his face. Peter wasn’t naturally pale, not like I was, or Edward was, but he was pale now. Blood loss and pain will do that to you.
I walked toward the bed. In that moment I would rather have faced Peter than Olaf. Was I being a coward, or was Edward the one being the coward? I was betting that he’d rather face a thousand Olafs than one almost-stepson right now. The look on Peter’s face changed as I walked toward the bed. He was still hurt, but his gaze seemed to be drawn to something other than my face. By the time I got to the bedside he wasn’t as pale; he’d found enough blood somewhere to blush.
40
“HEY, PETER,” I said.
He turned his head so he was looking up at the ceiling. Apparently he didn’t trust himself not to stare at my chest and wasn’t sure how I’d react. I wasn’t sure either. “I thought you were hurt,” he said.
“I was.”
He turned to look at me, frowning. “But you’re up. I feel awful.”
I nodded. “I’m a little surprised myself, truthfully.”
His gaze had drifted down again. Olaf was crazy and mean, but he was right about one thing. Men would stare, some on purpose to be rude, but not all. Some like Peter, well, it was as if my chest were a magnet and their gaze iron; it just attracted it. I was sooo going to have to talk to Nathaniel about what clothes to pack next time. Next time I got so hurt I ended up unconscious in the hospital. I simply assumed there’d be a next time. Unless I changed jobs, there would be. The thought startled me. Was I thinking about giving up the vampire hunting? Was I really, truly considering it? Maybe, maybe I was. I shook my head and pushed the thought into that cage with all the other thoughts. The cage was getting awfully damn full.
“Anita?” Peter made it a question.
“Sorry, thinking too hard.”
“What about?” He was managing eye contact. I felt like I should pet his head and give him a cookie, good boy. God, I was in a strange mood tonight.
“Truthfully, wondering if I want to keep hunting vampires.”
His eyes went wide. “What are you talking about? This is what you do.”
“No, I raise zombies; the vampire hunting is supposed to be a sideline. Sometimes the zombie thing gets me hurt, but the vampire and rogue lycanthrope hunting are more likely to put me in the hospital. Maybe I’m just tired of waking up with new scars.”
“Waking up is good, though,” he said, and his voice sounded fragile. He wasn’t staring at my face or my chest now. He was looking into the distance, with that look on the face that says you’re seeing something unpleasant, reliving it, just a little.
“You didn’t think you were going to wake up,” I said, and kept my voice gentle.
He looked at me, eyes wide, looking lost, frightened. “No, I thought this was it. I thought…” He stopped and he wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“You thought you were going to die,” I finished for him.
He nodded, then winced as if the movement hurt.
“I knew I wouldn’t die, or you. Stomach wounds hurt like hell and they can take a lot of healing, but they’re rarely fatal with modern antibiotics and prompt medical attention.”
He looked at me, uncomprehending. “Were you really thinking all that as they put you under?”
I thought about it. “Not exactly, but I’ve been hurt a lot, Peter. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve lost consciousness and woken up in a hospital, or somewhere worse.”
I thought his eyes were on my chest again, but he said, “The scar on your collarbone, what did that?”
Another interesting sideline of wearing this much of my chest in full view was that some of my scars were on display. I’d been more worried about my modesty than about the scars. “Vampire.”
“I thought it was a shapeshifter bite.”
“Nope, vampire.” I showed him my arms with all their scars. “Most of these are from vampires.” I touched one on my left arm: claw marks. “This one was a shapeshifted witch, which means her shapeshifting was a spell and not a disease.”
“I didn’t know there was a difference.”
“Well, the spell isn’t contagious, and it’s not tied to the full moon at all. In fact, strong emotions don’t cause you to shift, or any of that. You don’t shift until you put on the item, usually a fur belt or something.”
“Do you have any scars from shapeshifters?”
“Yes.”
“Can I see?”
Truthfully, the most permanent scars were claw marks on my ass. They were almost delicate marks. Gabriel, the wereleopard who had done it, had considered it foreplay before he tried to rape me on film. He’d been the first person I’d ever killed with the big knife in its spine sheath. I was going to have to figure out a different way to wear the knife until I could get the shoulder rig remade. But I had new scars now, ones I was willing to show Peter.
It took a little work to get the T-shirt out of the pants, but somehow I didn’t want to unbuckle or unzip anything. I got the shirt up and raised it over my belly, exposing the new wounds.
Peter made a surprised sound. “That can’t be real.” He whispered it. He reached out as if he’d try to touch, then drew his hand back, as if he wasn’t sure what I’d say.
I stepped closer to the bed. He took it as the invitation it was, and ran his fingertips across the new pink scars. “The scars may disappear altogether, or they may stay. I won’t know for a few days, or weeks,” I said.
He drew his fingers back, then put his whole hand across the biggest wound. The one where it looked as if she had tried to take a chunk of flesh. His hand was big enough to cover the mark and leave his fingers splayed out beyond the scars. “You can’t have healed this in less than, what…twelve hours. Are you one of them?”
“You mean a shapeshifter?” I asked.
“Yes.” He whispered it as if it were a secret. He slid his hand along my stomach, tracing the ragged marks of claws.
“No.”
He ran his hand over my skin until he came to the edge of the scars where they dribbled away just past my belly button. “They just changed my dressing. I look like shit. You’re healed.” He curved his hand around to the side of my waist that wasn’t scarred. His hand cupped my waist, and his hand was big enough to do it. That one gesture caught me off guard. The only man I was dating whose hand
was big enough to do that was Richard. It seemed wrong that Peter’s hand was that big. It made me move back from him and let my shirt drop over my stomach. Which embarrassed him, which wasn’t my intent. I just suddenly realized I probably shouldn’t let him touch me that much. It hadn’t moved me or made me uncomfortable until that moment.
He took his hand back, and again wasted blood that he didn’t have in blushing. “Sorry,” he mumbled, and wouldn’t look at me as he said it.
“It’s okay, Peter. No harm, no foul.”
He gave me a quick upward glance of his brown eyes. “If you’re not a shapeshifter, how could you have healed like that?”
Truthfully, it was probably because I was Jean-Claude’s human servant, but since Dolph was wanting to know that, I just didn’t want to share it with people who didn’t know. “I’m carrying four different kinds of lycanthropy. So far I don’t turn furry, but I’m carrying.”
“The doctors told me you can’t get more than one kind of lycanthropy. That’s the point of the shot. The two different kinds of lycanthropy cancel each other out.” He stopped at the end of the speech and took a deeper-than-normal breath, as if talking too much hurt.
I patted his shoulder. “Don’t talk if it hurts, Peter.”
“Everything hurts.” He seemed to try to settle into the bed, then stopped as if that had hurt, too. He looked up at me, and the angry, defiant face was like an echo of almost two years ago. The kid I’d met was still in there, he’d just grown up. It made my heart hurt. Would I ever get to see Peter when he wasn’t getting hurt? I guess I could just go visit Edward sometime, but that was just weird. We did not just visit each other. We weren’t that kind of friends.
“I know it hurts, Peter. I didn’t always heal this fast.”
“Micah and Nathaniel have been talking to me about weretigers and being a lycanthrope.”
[Anita Blake 15] - The Harlequin Page 39
