Afterward, I intended to try to speak to him. But he zoomed out without even looking at me.
And now, the whole campus probably knows I’m a pastor’s wife. I meant to keep that information as private as possible. But I definitely blew that goal today. Now they’ve started calling me “PW”— Pastor’s Wife. I hate that!
What I do not understand is this bitterness and anger that I see, particularly from our Christian students. I do not see how this is a Christlike attitude. Why do they think that the college classroom is suddenly a debate forum where they are supposed to point out the error of their professor’s way? Where is the respect for teachers? Where is the thoughtful consideration of new ideas? Why are they even here if all they want to do is argue?
I’m sorry. I’m sure this steps on some people’s toes on this loop. But I just had to vent. It’s no wonder the faculty lets out a collective groan when they hear that they’ve got another Christian student enrolled. It doesn’t need to be that way. And it makes my life just that much harder because people assume I’m the same.
Phyllis
From: Hannah Farrell
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Cranky kids become cranky young adults
Hi Phyllis,
I totally don’t think there was anything wrong with what that student did. We learned at SCCLOG that as Christian students we have to be SO CAREFUL because secular colleges all want to indoctrinate us with pagan ideas that will make us become ATHEISTS! And that would be like so totally bad I can’t describe it!
He had no way of knowing you were on his side. Probably, he couldn’t really even tell. So he just was standing up for his beliefs. I think that was brave of him.
Hannah
From: Dulcie Huckleberry
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Cranky kids become cranky young adults
I don’t know, Hannah. When I was in college, I didn’t really think it was my job to argue with my professors every time I didn’t agree with them. I thought it was my job to learn the material they were teaching me—at least long enough to regurgitate it on the test.
If I’m strong enough in my own beliefs, then I should be able to listen to the perspectives and thoughts of other people without feeling the need to argue about it, don’t you think?
Dulcie
From: Hannah Farrell
To: Dulcie Huckleberry
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Cranky kids become cranky young adults
You like totally went to PUBLIC school, didn’t you!
Hannah
From: Rosalyn Ebberly
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Cranky kids become cranky young adults
Hi everyone,
I’m just going to bring this discussion to a close now before it starts an argument here on the loop. We all have different ideas and opinions of how our faith should be expressed in public situations. We could argue all day long about what is and isn’t the best expressions of that faith, but that would really defeat the idea of our faith UNITING us. Don’t you think?
Thanks,
Rosalyn Ebberly
SAHM I Am Loop Moderator
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1 (NASB)
From: Dulcie Huckleberry
To: “Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject: A real loop moderator
Whoa! She actually made a good call! She actually acted like a normal loop moderator on a normal loop! I’m shocked. This is a week that will go down in history—first, Rosalyn RANTS, and then it’s the first time that SAHM I Am has ever had a discussion moderated that probably really needed it. And she did it NICELY! I’m impressed.
Of course, she has good reason for not wanting any more ugly fights on the loop. I’m kind of glad she stepped in.
Dulcie
From: The Millards
To: “Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Cranky kids become cranky young adults
Dulcie, you should e-mail her and tell her that. Maybe without the snark. :) But I think she could probably use the positive reinforcement—if you want the behavior to continue. It’s just like potty training!
Jocelyn
From: VIM
To: P. Lorimer
Subject: [SAHM I AM] Cranky kids become cranky young adults
Hey girl,
I feel your pain, my friend. Stuff like that is why I’ve resisted going to church for so long. We’ve been visiting a Catholic church lately, and I just wanted to let you know that part of the reason I finally gave in and decided to go with Frank is because of knowing you and other gals on the loop who aren’t like that.
So I just betcha that the way you responded to that kid in your class probably gave all those other kids a more balanced view of Christians and showed them that you all aren’t idiotic, angry jerks. You might just have done a lot of good there—even if it was frustrating. So hang in there, okay? Don’t be embarrassed about what your husband does. I know it creates lots of expectations for you, but I just bet that anyone who meets you comes away with a LOT to think about because you’ve challenged all those expectations. That’s a good thing. We “heathens” need our expectations challenged sometimes. :)
Veronica
From: P. Lorimer
To: VIM
Subject: [SAHM I AM] Cranky kids become cranky young adults
Thanks, Veronica. You have no idea how much I needed that encouragement—especially from you.
Phyllis
Text Message From Tom Huckleberry: For Dulcie Huckleberry
——October 21/3:32 p.m.——
At animal shelter looking at kittens. I like small white one. Grls wnt lrge shaggy orange one w/ missing tail. Grls will likely win.
From: Hannah Farrell
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: [SAHM I AM] Car Seats?
Are any of you like all into which car seats are the best? Boaz is getting too big for his carrier seat, and I am utterly overwhelmed by all the choices. Only the very best for my wittle Boey-Booboo!
Hannah
From: Marianne Hausten
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Car Seats?
I think you should go with the JoyRider 6000.
Marianne
From: Brenna L
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Car Seats?
Ooohh, do you have one of those, Marianne? They’ve got that nifty little computer that automatically adjusts the height to improve side-impact protection. And the cover comes in washable suede that acts like a temperature control so the baby doesn’t get too warm or cold.
I WISH I had one. It can go all the way from 5–25 lbs. rear-facing, and up to 70 lbs front facing!
Brenna
From: Iona James
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Car Seats?
We were given a JoyRider 6000 from my in-laws. It’s wonderful. Sometimes, the only way we can get the Angel Child to fall asleep is to put him in the JoyRider and drive for an hour. I don’t believe possessions should define us or own us, but the JoyRider 6000 might be the one exception I’d make to that rule.
Iona James
From: VIM
To: SAHM I Am
S
ubject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Car Seats?
I’ve got one! It makes me feel happier just looking at it. And what I really like is that you can take it to any of their Joy-Centers at malls or baby stores, and they have car seat experts who will install the seat for you, inspect all the components, and even clean it for you! It’s a spa for your car seat!
Veronica
From: Dulcie Huckleberry
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Car Seats?
It’s a car seat cult! When we had to get car seats, I just went to the local department store and got the simplest one we could find. Works fine. The only thing I don’t like is that the fabric faded quickly, and the padding didn’t hold up too well. We just stick a foam pad under the cover and it works.
Dulcie
From: VIM
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Car Seats?
Listen to yourself, Dulcie! “It works just fine” “the only thing I didn’t like”…you are not happy with your car seat. You tolerate it, but you have no love for it because deep down, you know it’s a worthless piece of plastic! :)
You don’t hear that sort of thing from a JoyRider family. We can’t help but rave about our car seats because they’re great quality, and they’ve got pizzazz and all the features you could want. Award-winning design, excellent customer service… I mean, you walk into a JoyCenter, and you’re treated like a queen!
Did I mention they have play spaces for your kids while your car seat is being serviced?
Come over to the Light, Dulcie. Trade up—they’ve got great booster seats for older kids, too.
Veronica
From: Marianne Hausten
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Car Seats?
Non-JoyRider people just don’t get it. I would absolutely adore a JoyRider 6000. We’re going to save up for one. Those of you with them, e-mail me off-loop and tell me what you think about the built-in lockoffs and top tether. Are they really as easy to install as all the reviews say? You are SOOOO lucky to have one— I hope you know that!
Marianne
From: Dulcie Huckleberry
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Car Seats?
All you JoyRider people ought to get your own e-mail loop! You’re cluttering up ours with all your floaty hearts. Do the car seats come equipped with smelling salts to revive swooning adorers?
Dulcie
Text Message From Tom Huckleberry: For Dulcie Huckleberry
——October 21/4:46 p.m.——
Orange kitten adopted. Mac named him Rosie. I said not good name 4 boy cat. She said don’t care. So Rosie he is. On way 2 pet store 2 get food n stuff.
Text Message From Dulcie Huckleberry: For Tom Huckleberry
——October 21/4:48 p.m.——
Gr8t Can’t wait 2 meet little Rosie.
Text Message From Tom Huckleberry: For Dulcie Huckleberry
——October 21/5:07 p.m.——
Do u think its ok if boy cat has pink rhinestone collar and purple glitter cat bed? Grls r going nuts here.
Text Message From Dulcie Huckleberry: For Tom Huckleberry
——October 21/5:08 p.m.——
LOL! I think Mr. Rosie will b jst fine. Not like kitten has sense of gender identity. & will b neutered soon anyway. No worries.
From: Hannah Farrell
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Car Seats?
Hey everybody! Thanks so much for the awesome advice on the car seats. I’m happy to announce that… WE’RE GETTING A JOYRIDER 6000!!!!
We’re going to a JoyCenter tonight— I’ll send pictures!
Hannah
From: Dulcie Huckleberry
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Car Seats?
Ack! Another initiate into the JoyRider cult. NO pictures! You all are nuts!
Dulcie
From: Rosalyn Ebberly
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: [SAHM I AM] TOTW November 16: Will My Children Hate Me?
Much-loved Ladies:
Don’t worry, this TOTW is not as dismal as it might sound from the subject. I want to encourage you! If you’ve ever experienced one of your children—who you’ve labored over, nursed through stomach flus, comforted after a 2:00 a.m. nightmare, bandaged, held, rocked, fed, and clothed—if one of these children ever loses it and starts screaming “I hate you!” simply because you told them to turn off the television…
Please be encouraged—they can’t possibly hang on to that resentment through adulthood. In another decade or so, it should (probably) vanish.
Or you might have the misfortune of losing your own temper and screaming at your child—yes, the very same one you dreamed about holding in your arms— “Do you enjoy making my life miserable? Why can’t you JUST FOR ONCE do what you are told to do?” And then you feel a load of guilt the size of the city dump because you made them cry, and what kind of parent yells at their kids and makes them cry!?!
And even when you tell them “no” fifty thousand times in one afternoon, and they are shooting daggers at you with their eyes, and when they ask you for the 136th time “Is Dad going to be home soon?” and when you feel bad because you just can’t bring yourself to endure ONE more game of Candy Land, and when all you want to do is lock yourself in the bathroom, and when you’ve grounded them to their rooms for an entire week and they skulk down to dinner as if they are part of a chain gang sentenced for life…
Odds are fairly good that it’s all going to turn out fine. They’re notorious for having poor long-term memory. They’ll probably forget. Or the trauma you’ve inflicted on them will fade. To some extent. They’ll get perspective as they get older, and they will hopefully come to understand that you were just doing the best you could, and that it’s not really that they are impossible little brats or that you’re the world’s most incompetent and unfeeling mother. As they mature, they’ll understand that parents spend most of their parenting careers exhausted, overworked, and in the grip of a King-Kong-size inferiority complex.
And they’ll forgive you everything you ever did to them, and you’ll all be best friends for the rest of your life.
Don’t you think?
Rosalyn Ebberly
SAHM I Am Loop Moderator
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1 (NASB)
From: P. Lorimer
To: “Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] TOTW November 16: Will My Children Hate Me?
I can’t believe I’m actually typing this, but I’m having a complete “Rabbit and Tigger” moment. I want the old Tigger back! The one that pompously pontificated about parenting, and patted herself on the back all the time. The impossibly perfect one with her impossibly perfect children. The Tigger I could dislike without feeling very guilty about it!
I don’t like this new Tigger. This Tigger makes the book of Lamentations read like chick-lit! What am I supposed to do with this Tigger? How am I supposed to respond? St. John’s Wort, anyone? You’ll need it after her posts.
I never thought I’d feel this way, but I’m definitely Rabbit today.
Phyllis
From: Dulcie Huckleberry
To: “Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] TOTW November 16: Will My Children Hate Me?
You know what the most wonderful thing about Tigger is, don’t you?
SHEEEEE’S the only one! :)
Dulcie
From: Brenna L
To: “Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] TOTW November 16: Will My Children Hate Me?
WRONG! You forgot the other Tigger…
Cheer up, Phyllis. You’ve still got Hannah. And she LUVVVVS you! :)
Brenna
From: P. Lorimer
To: “Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] TOTW November 16: Will My Children Hate Me?
Thank you, Brenna. Now I really need an antidepressant.
Phyllis
From: Rosalyn Ebberly
To: Shelley Dalton
Subject: Idea for dealing with my kids
Hi Shelley!
Thank you very much for suggesting I e-mail you instead of calling you. I LOVE e-mailing! Did I ever mention to you that I am the moderator/co-owner of an e-mail discussion loop with over 1,500 moms on it?
I just wanted to run an idea past you, since you are always so good at helping me figure out what to do and how to handle my children! I know we’re supposed to be working on teaching them social skills so that we have a plan for how to deal with conflicts when they arise. I LOVE your idea of teaching a new social skill each week and breaking it down into its component parts.
So I’m attaching a list of the top fifty social skills I think we need to teach the kids, and I broke each one down into about thirty steps so we can systematically teach them. I used the list you gave me, and added a few, plus created a few more steps just to get in some stuff I felt was left out.
Could you do me a huge favor and look this over for me and let me know what you think? Was I thorough enough? I just think if teaching social skills will eliminate this conflict we’ve been having with them, then I want to go all the way with it… NOW! We can’t afford to wait another day.
Thanks so much. You are really the BEST therapist there ever was.
With love,
Rosalyn Ebberly
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1 (NASB)
From: VIM
Play It Again, SAHM Page 16
