by Nikki Winter
At that point, her best friend simply gave up and walked away. Aiyanna thought she was being unreasonable.
Evelyn rolled her eyes. “I came to take you to lunch.”
“Oh,” Aiyanna said with as little enthusiasm as possible. “Why?”
“Because it’s what mothers do for their daughters.”
Aiyanna laughed so hard tears crested her eyes. She stopped when she noticed Evelyn hadn’t joined in. “Oh...you’re serious?”
“Get your things, Aiyanna. I’ll be downstairs waiting.” Then she turned on her heels and marched out, back straight. Aiyanna briefly wondered how big the stick her mother had shoved up her ass was.
“So,” Lalani reappeared. “What’d she want?”
“To take me to lunch.”
“Oh.” Her friend sounded as excited as she had. “Why?”
“Because apparently that’s what mothers do for their daughters.” Aiyanna answered, looking at Lalani.
All it took was that split second for their eyes to meet before they were both leaning over and gasping for breath, trying desperately to stop laughing.
“Lani, you should’ve seen her face! She was so serious!”
“Oh my God, I can’t take it...please...”
“Then she did the drill Sergeant march outta here!”
Lalani shook her head, wiped tears from her eyes and imitated said march all the way back to her own office.
When Dastan found Aiyanna laid out on the waiting room couch, close to blacking out from laughing so hard she hurt, he simply shook his head and kept on going.
Aiyanna stared down at the menu in her hands before looking up at the waiter. “I’ll have the—”
“Caesar salad, low fat dressing,” Evelyn interrupted.
The waiter looked from her to her mother. Aiyanna grinned wide as she stared at the control freak sitting across from her. “As a matter of fact, I will have the Caesar salad.” Evelyn looked pleasantly surprised until Aiyanna added, “With the fried chicken strips on top. Also, I’d like the T-bone with a fully loaded baked potato and a long neck.” With a satisfied sigh, she handed over her menu, never once taking her eyes off Evelyn.
“No matter what I do—”
“You’ll never be able to change me,” Aiyanna finished with a smirk. “So do us both a favor and stop trying already, okay?”
Her mother sat back after ordering, folding her arms across her chest. “I only want what’s best for you.”
Aiyanna mimicked the action. “No, Mama. You want what’s best for you and somehow having a daughter who isn’t the perfect size two, does what you deem man’s work, and hasn’t popped out a litter of babies yet makes you a failure.” She shook her head. “It’s sad.”
The pearl clutching didn’t take long to appear. “Aiyanna Jordyn, I am—”
“Selfish, unaccepting, controlling, manipulative and will never be satisfied with me. So let’s stop pretending that if I turned into your perfect little angel right now you’d be happy.” She leaned into the table and tapped a finger onto the hardwood. “The fact of the matter is Mama, somewhere in that bottomless pit you call a heart, I know there’s some form of affection or pride for me. How could there not be? Despite my size I’m still confident, beautiful,” her voice dropped with a smile, “and apparently sexy. I have three degrees, my own business and the home I currently live in, I built with my own two hands. So stop looking at me as if I’m a disappointment to you and not that warped sense of self worth that was instilled at your debutante balls and country club meetings when Nana wasn’t on you about your poise and etiquette.”
Aiyanna sat back again. “And start appreciating that your child hasn’t devoted all her time to trying to be perfect in a world that thrives on imperfections; that I haven’t spent every waking moment planning on trapping a doctor or depending on a man just to get through the day. Take a second and really consider that despite every attempt to engineer me into a pretty little princess, I still hold true to myself and I wake up every single day fulfilled and happy. If anything, you should be proud of that accomplishment because in your own very strange way, you made me who I am.”
Evelyn didn’t say anything for a long time. Her smile was small, a little sad. “Guess I’m not perfect either, huh?”
Aiyanna’s lips curved up at the corners. She reached across the table to briefly squeeze her mother’s hand. “No, but for every time you got on my last damn nerve, made me want to scream and cuss and act a fool, made me want to run away and never look back—it made me stronger. We may not be best friends Mama, but because of you I know I can handle anything thrown at me.”
And just like that, Evelyn’s haughty look was back. “Yes...well that was my intent; to make you stronger.”
Aiyanna chuckled. “I’m sure it was.”
“A.J.?”
She looked up at her mother, having not heard the nickname leave Evelyn’s lips in a long time. Maybe she would share something intensely profound, maybe they’d mend fences. “Yes?”
Evelyn looked around for a bit before leaning into the table and whispering, “Share your steak with me?”
Or maybe she’d have to fight the woman who spawned her for her own food.
Thirty-four and the last time he’d had a woman take care of him was at the age of six when he’d fallen outside playing with Havan and his mother had bandaged his knee, patted him on the head, and sent him on his way. It was strange. Julian had been so used to doing everything in his power to please whatever woman he was dating that he never really had anyone take care of him. And that’s what Aiyanna was doing; she was taking care of him.
Another month had gone by since the first night they’d made love and every moment after that, the wall she’d built around herself had slowly chipped away. He’d known as soon as he saw the remodel on his house. Just the small details that she’d considered, like a whirlpool in his gym so he could soak after work on the ranch or the deck she’d had built so he could overlook the horses when they roamed.
But right now, as Julian stood in the doorway of his kitchen and watched her move around in one of his t-shirts stir-frying Chinese food, her hair pinned up as she swayed to the radio, it hit him exactly how much he needed her.
Aiyanna gave him something that no other woman ever had; the feeling of being appreciated. Everything that he did, she really, truly, honestly appreciated.
Even the small things like making her breakfast in the morning or bringing her lunch managed to bring a smile to her face; a smile that he was getting more and more used to seeing. But one thing seemed to be standing in their way—her unwillingness to introduce him to her family.
Julian had put everything about his mother on the table, told Aiyanna all there was to know but anytime he asked her about her own parents, she shut down. Or at least she did at the mention of her mother. She had plenty of stories about her and Elan as kids; had even told him about her father whom she appeared to think was the greatest man on earth, but when the subject of Evelyn King came up, Aiyanna simply clammed up.
By saying nothing, she pretty much told him everything he needed to know about the dynamics between mother and daughter. He just wished she’d open that small door and let him in. Then maybe he could figure out why there was still a part of herself that she held away. She loved him, of that Julian was sure, but she wouldn’t verbalize it and that was the one thing he needed more than anything else; to hear the words.
He desperately needed that validation. Especially after the call he’d gotten from Alyss earlier. Every once in a blue moon, she’d call to tell him how much of a disappointment he was. Havan had stopped answering her calls long ago and had advised Julian to do the same but he just wasn’t ready to cut the cord yet; hoping that at some point Alyss would change. Surprisingly enough, this call had been different. Alyss’ latest husband had apparently left her for someone else so now she was lonely. Julian found himself unmoved by the sound of her well executed sobs. No, this time something inside hi
m had hardened against his mother.
All these years, all this time, men had come before him and Havan. Yet now, when she found that her appeal to the opposite sex was dwindling, she came running back. And when he wouldn’t show her any sympathy, she called him cold hearted and went so far as to claim that he’d been that way for a long time. He could mark today off his calendar as another day that the first woman he’d ever loved still wasn’t satisfied with him.
What if that was the case with Aiyanna? What if she did love him but she just wasn’t satisfied with him? What if he wasn’t doing enough to make her happy?
“You know,” Aiyanna finally said, glancing at him over her shoulder, “normally your brooding looks, all sexy and mysterious, lead to lascivious and dirty thoughts on my part. Then that makes me wanna have my filthy way with you when you come home.” She turned off the stove and placed a lid on the pan of stir-fry. “But right now I’m contemplating whether or not I need an umbrella for that storm cloud over your head.”
She walked over to him and grabbed his hand before tugging him behind her towards the stairs. Julian followed, knowing better than to argue. He’d tried it once…didn’t turn out well. It was no fun sleeping next to a naked woman you couldn’t touch.
They reached the master bedroom and before he stepped from the hardwood floors of the hallway onto the carpeted floors of the room, Aiyanna simply said, “Strip please.”
Already half hard from watching her wiggle her ass, Julian’s cock shot up full mast at the softly spoken request. He kicked off his boots, jeans and t-shirt, having known better than to enter the house with his Stetson still on.
She headed through the room and opened the door that connected to his gym. Julian stood by and watched her turn on the jets in the whirlpool—which she’d already filled with hot water. The t-shirt that she’d pilfered from one of his drawers soon floated to the floor. She climbed into the large tub, and held out a hand to him.
Julian took it without hesitation, letting her straddle him as he sat down in the steaming water. The jets worked his lower back, while Aiyanna rubbed soap into her palms and kneaded his shoulders.
His head went back with as sigh as he stared up at her through lowered lids.
“You ready to talk now, cowboy?” she questioned softly.
He could always lie and say nothing was wrong but she’d see through that, this he knew for sure. Sighing, he answered, “My mother called today.”
Aiyanna’s ministrations stopped. “And?”
“And it was pretty much the same talk. Except this time, I got the added bonus of hearing about her latest husband leaving.”
“And how did that make you feel?”
He paused, jaw clenching as he focused on a spot just over her shoulder.
“Julian?” Aiyanna coaxed softly.
He finally answered. “Some part of me felt satisfied, it’s not right but I did. Havan and I had to watch her go from man to man, giving affection, claiming love but she never gave that to us.” Julian looked at her. “Do you know that one of her exes had a son that she would hold and rock to sleep at night? I was about seven or eight when I saw her doing it. I asked her why she wouldn’t do that for me and you know what she said?”
Aiyanna shook her head.
Julian snorted. “She said, ‘Because you look like him.’”
She cupped her hands and rinsed his body before wrapping her arms around him and squeezing tight and resting her head on his shoulder. Julian let out a deep breath and returned the embrace.
She kissed his collar bone. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“Not your fault,” he whispered.
“I know, but I wish there was something I could do.” Aiyanna leaned back and ran her hands through his hair.
Julian stared up into her eyes, wanting to ask her why she was still holding back from him; to demand that she finally let him into the one secret place she had but he didn’t.
He simply kissed her nose and said, “You’d tell me if you weren’t happy right?”
She gripped his face in her palms and kissed his lips once then again. “Have you ever known me not to be vocal?”
Julian shook his head and she smirked, rocking on his lap. He clenched his teeth at the silky feel of her pussy gliding over his cock head.
“Maybe I haven’t been vocal enough?” Aiyanna’s voice dropped, the tone sliding over his skin like a caress and when she leaned in to tug his earlobe between her teeth, the muscles in his thighs jumped.
“Is that it, Julian?” Her fingers raked through his scalp as her hips started a slow winding motion once again. “Do I not scream enough for you?”
His heart stopped and started again. “Aiyanna—” He started through clenched teeth.
She shook her head; droplets of steam glistening off the perfect shade of her skin, making her appear as if she were dusted in gold. “Shh. Tell me.” Her lips found his, tongue dipping between the seams to tangle with his. “Do you want me to scream louder?” Aiyanna’s hips came down, her pussy enveloping him in its warm, wet heat so quickly that it was all he could take before he lost it.
One minute she was two seconds from coming, the next Julian had lifted her off his dick to turn her around. Her back to his chest, he made her straddle him before he was back inside of her. His hips came up, stealing the air from her lungs with that first violent thrust that rocked her forward. Aiyanna’s hands gripped the edge of the whirlpool, the water beginning to make waves around them as their flesh met again and again.
Julian’s grip on her waist tightened as he bounced her on his cock. The friction of him stretching her inner walls as the head of his shaft found her g-spot made her cry out.
Julian nipped her shoulder, one arm wrapping just underneath her breasts to hold her tighter to him as the other hand came up to tug and pinch her nipples.
“I don’t hear you screaming, Hermosa.”
Jesus, his voice rumbled in her ear and butterflies danced her stomach.
“Maybe I should stop, hmm?” His thrusts slowed then came to a halt.
“Julian!”
He chuckled behind her then started again. “Ah, there it is.” Easing them both into a position where they were on their knees he rode her harder.
“Oh...God...Julian...” She let go of the edge with one hand, bringing it up to wrap around the back of his neck and hold him tighter to her. His long, forceful strokes had stopped, turning into short sharp ones that made tears crest on her lashes. “Oh God...Oh God...Oh God...”
“Louder, Hermosa,” Julian growled and her back arched as she pushed into him, teetering on the cliff of a cataclysmic explosion.
When one palm came down on her ass in a firm tap, the pleasurable sting spread from where his hand had connected and zinged straight to her clit. Aiyanna’s screams were loud enough to leave her almost hoarse and Julian’s roar of release just made her walls contract harder around him.
They both slumped over, splashing water as they panted. “Was that...loud...enough?”
Her lover smiled, the lean slashes in his cheeks deepening. He brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “Yes, sweetheart, that was loud enough.”
Chapter Nine
“So exactly why won’t you let us meet Julian?” Elan asked Aiyanna as he reached for the fries on her plate.
She stabbed at his hand with a fork, completely unconcerned about how much it had to hurt. “Keep your hands across the table or problems will commence between us. And I haven’t let him meet you because I’m scared Mama will run him off.”
Her twin sat back, his brows slightly arched. “How do you figure?”
“She’s just like his mother with her unrealistic need for perfection. Has she pulled back from me? Yes. But once she gets around Julian—”
“—He’ll really believe the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree because he doesn’t know her like we do.”
Aiyanna nodded her head once. “Precisely.”
“But he knows you. You don‘t
think he’ll see past Mom’s obvious flaws?”
She snorted. “Okay let me break it down. You know how Mama made it her life mission to let me know how much I sucked as a daughter?”
He nodded.
“Now think about the effects that would’ve had if I didn’t already believe I was the epitome of awesomeness.”
Elan chuckled. “You’d be one mind-fucked human being who was always trying to please everyone.”
She waved her hands. “Exactly! The difference between Julian and I is that one small detail. I didn’t believe shit Mama told me but I think he believes everything his mother told him. Now here is where the psychological analyzing begins.”
“Bring it on home Dr. Phil.”
Aiyanna flipped him the bird. “His mother was the first woman he ever gave his heart to because he trusted—like all kids—that she would protect and nurture it but she broke it. In the process, she broke his confidence. And while he may be able to carry on a functioning relationship, both in the romantic sense and the platonic sense, he has still held on to the niggling doubt that he is in fact, not good enough. I can see it in his eyes, Elan. Every time the man wakes up next to me—”
“Euww.”
“—It’s almost like he can’t believe I’m still there. He has this fear that one day I’m going to turn into his mother, that nothing—no matter how wonderful—he does will make me happy with him. She did that to him. She made him doubt how amazing he is. That baffles me because when I first met him, dude made me reconsider my no fucking on the first date rule.”
Elan choked then gagged. “Jesus A.J. Do you want me to kill myself?”
She smirked. “I’ve gotten past the phase of imagining your painful death. Now, if you’d have asked me that ten years ago...”
Her twin’s eyes narrowed. “You’re an asshole.”
“I know.”
He put his elbows on the restaurant table, something he would’ve never dared to do had Evelyn been present. “The question is what’re you going to do about Julian?”
