I pulled off on a side road, and then entered the driveway of the first house I saw. The pickup didn't follow us down the side road. They were satisfied with knowing where we "lived" and headed back. What a bunch of knuckleheads.
We waited a few minutes then drove south toward Wal-Mart. We circled around downtown again. It was still smoky over there, but it didn't look like any other buildings were burning.
The full shopping carts were still waiting where we'd left them. We didn't bother unloading them; we just pulled out the dolly ramp on the truck and pushed the carts inside. They only took up the front portion of the box. We used the straps in the truck to keep them from rolling around. It took us about a half an hour, and we were starting to lose daylight.
"Are we doing Tractor Supply today?" Sara asked.
"No," I said. "Let's take this stuff back to the stables, and we'll come back tomorrow."
I pulled down the rear door on the truck and latched it.
"We can leave the minivan here," I said.
I got to thinking that it might be a good idea at some point to park cars at strategic places around town. Then if we were ever in a bind and without a vehicle, we'd know where to find one. I made a mental note to put that on our list of things to do. We could take a map of the city--maybe even the whole county--and spend a day or two parking cars. It might just save our life one day.
We moved all the guns we had with us--Somerville's .30-06 and 12 gauge, and the .22 rifle Jen had found at the Kaler house our second day together.
We didn't talk much on the way back to the Lassiter house. This was the first time Sara and I had been alone together, and it felt kind of awkward, especially since Jen had been acting the way she had. I'd had no trouble talking with Sara when the three of us were together, but like this, I couldn't think of much to say.
"Do you still want to go out with Mr. Somerville and look for survivors?" I said.
"You mean after what we've seen today?" she said. "It makes me think twice about it."
"I've been wondering if he's okay," I said. "Jen's bite wasn't healing, and he had several bites on him. We should check on him tomorrow. We might want to get him to the doctor."
It was getting dark when we pulled into the driveway. I was in no rush to unload the truck, so we left it for another time.
Sara got a pot of water warming on the stove for us to use for bathing while I worked on the fire. There were still some glowing embers left from the morning. I got the flames going again, and put in some split wood.
It was strange for Jen not to be there. I'd grown so accustomed to having her around the past several days, and I was already missing her. We'd all planned to have pizza, and I didn't want to do that without her.
I went into the kitchen.
"The bath water is hot, you can take it," Sara said. "I'll start another one."
"No," I said. "You go first."
She smiled, "Really. I'll make something to eat while you get cleaned up, and I'll wash up after dinner."
"We'll wait on the pizzas until Jen is back, okay?" I said.
I took the pot of water into the bathroom. It was cold in there, but I got undressed anyway. I stood in the tub and gave myself a sort of sponge bath. I'd bathed like this several times the past few days. It wasn't comfortable at all, but it got me clean. I was thinking about all of the water I had used in the past to shower or bathe, and here I was getting clean with not much more than a half gallon. I could have probably used less. Still, I would have loved a long hot shower right then.
When I came back to the kitchen, Sara had vegetable soup on the table. There was another pot of water on the stove already steaming.
"Thanks for the food," I said.
"I just warmed up some canned stuff," she said. "I'm not a real cook."
"Thanks for doing it, though."
She smiled.
"Jen's going to be okay," she said. "Don't worry about her. I broke my leg when I was a kid, and I healed up okay. She's tough."
I wanted to talk to her about Jen but I didn't know how.
"I'm sorry for the way Jen has been acting," I said.
She shrugged and frowned.
"She can be kind of...um..." I couldn't find the right word.
"Crass?" Sara said.
"Well--"
"How about rude? How about bitchy?"
"Yeah," I laughed. "She can be all of those things."
She smiled again.
"Do you two have a history or something?"
"No," I said. "No history. We went to high school together, but we actually only started getting to know one another since the virus."
"She doesn't like me," Sara said.
"I think she's just...I think maybe she's....I don't know."
"She's afraid you're going to like me more than her," Sara said bluntly. She went back to eating her soup.
"Tomorrow, we can let the extra horses go," I said, changing the subject. "Do you have any ideas on that? I guess it'll be just me and you with Jen being injured."
"No," she said. "I don't know a lot about farm stuff."
"That's okay," I said. "We're all learning."
"Thank you for being so nice to me," she said. "I know you've been taking up for me with Jen."
"Sure," I said.
"I think my water is ready," she said. "You can have the rest of my soup."
She left the room with the pot of water.
When I finished eating, I poured myself some Southern Comfort and went into the living room to sit by the fire. I was just about over my TV withdrawals, and staring at the fire (or glowing kerosene heater) had become a nice way to wind down in the evening. I presumed Jen was sleeping now, full of pain meds.
The room was so warm, and I was relaxed. I listened to the fire pop and hiss. I heard Sara moving around in the other room. She came to the living room wrapped in a blanket.
"It's so cold in that bathroom," she said. "I'll be glad when it is summer.”
"Yeah, but then we won't have air conditioning," I said. "We could start using that kerosene heater in there when we're bathing."
She sat on the end of the couch nearest the fire.
"That kerosene stinks," she said. "I like the fireplace better."
"How did you stay warm at the church?"
"They had a gas range in the fellowship hall. I stayed close to it."
She looked at my glass.
"Do we need to drink something tonight?"
"I do," I said. "I came in contact with some when I was looking for the minivan. Besides, I'm a little shook up from today, and this helps."
She stood and stepped closer to the fireplace.
"It is so different now," she said, staring into the fire. "It makes me wonder about everything I've ever been taught. All the people I ever knew are gone...are changed. It's not fair that my family should get sick, but those men at Lowes this morning didn't."
"They didn't make it either," I said.
"I know," she said. "Maybe they got it worse than the rest, but.... I don't know. Why would my pastor get sick? He was a good man. He'd never hurt anybody before, but I saw him hurt people after. I had to lock him out of the church so he wouldn't hurt me."
She turned toward me.
"Does that seem right to you?"
"No," I said.
"I'm glad I met you," she said. "I feel safe with you."
"I'm glad I met you, too," I said.
She took a step closer to me and let the blanket fall to the floor.
"Whoa..." was all I could say.
She had a body like one of those pin-up models from the 1950s--soft, curvy. I'd never seen a more perfect example of the female form in real life, and I'd never been this close to an unclothed one. Flawless fair skin, full lips, soft down of pubic hair, every part of her perfectly shaped and proportioned. Standing in the firelight, she looked like a goddess. My mouth went dry, and my heart raced.
Her reddish-blonde hair was short, but her bangs curled down
over one eye. She brushed them away, and they bounced back.
I put my glass on the floor, stood up and stumbled a little.
"Whoa, Sara...what are you doing?"
She came in close to me. I could smell the warmth of her body.
She didn't speak; she just took my hands and put them on her waist, resting them on the swell of her hips.
She felt like heaven. I pulled my hands away and stepped back.
"I want you to touch me."
"Sara...I...what about Jen?"
"Jen is a bully. She's not your type."
I chuckled a little, "Actually...she is my type. I always go for women like her."
"Well maybe you should try something different," she said, stepping close to me again. "What about it? You want to try me out?"
"But you...um...you're....What about your church? What about your boyfriend?"
"That's all gone now. I'm not a virgin, if that's what you think. I haven't been the slut that Jen has probably been, but I know what I'm doing. I'm very much a woman."
"Oh...I can...I can see you're a woman."
"I've noticed how you look at me," she said. "I know you want this."
I stepped away from her again.
"Wanting it and doing it are two different things, and--"
My body was screaming at me: Are you crazy?! Do it! Be a caveman like the rest!
"You want it, and I'm offering it, so what's the problem?"
She moved in again and put my hands back on her hips. I swallowed hard. I tried to step back again, but I was against the wall. She pressed herself against me. I felt light-headed.
"You have no idea how bad I want it," I said. "But--"
"Oh, I can feel how bad you want it," she whispered back.
"But I can't," I said. "I...I'd be betraying Jen."
"So you two are really together? She told me you were, but I just figured it was her being pushy again."
"Well, we never did anything official...I mean, we just kind of....”
She smiled and put her hand on my face.
"It's okay," she said, smiling. "You're being loyal. At least there's still a little right left in the world."
My hands were still on her hips, and she was still pressed against me. I didn't want it to end, but if it didn't....
She stood on tiptoes and kissed my cheek.
"You're a decent man; maybe one day you'll want a decent woman."
She stepped back and picked up her blanket. I was weak in the knees.
"I'll leave in the morning," she said. "I'll move in with the Somervilles like Jen wants."
"Sara, don't do that," I said. "What about the horses? What about...what about everything? How can I do all of this by myself?"
"I can't stay here," she said, wrapping the blanket around her. "It'll be too weird."
"I'm sorry," I said.
"I know I'm a little younger than you, but I think I could make you happy."
I knew she could make me happy, but....
"After seeing what is left out there...never mind. I'm going to bed now," she said.
"Okay," I said, continuing to stare.
"Are we still sleeping in here by the fire?"
"Oh," I said. "I'm sorry, of course."
I started to leave.
"By the way," she said. "I got your Eazy-E quote this morning. It was from Boyz in the Hood."
"Yeah," I said, surprised.
She smiled at me again.
I went into the kitchen and poured myself another drink. I had the shakes again. It was going to be a long night.
CHAPTER 37
I woke up later than usual the next day. To say I'd had trouble sleeping would have been an understatement. The fire was going good, and Sara's blankets were folded on the couch. I couldn't find her in the house, and I feared that she was already gone. I didn't like the idea of her being out there on her own trying to find Mr. Somerville's house.
I looked out the window. The rear door on the moving van was up, and the ramp was down. She had already pushed two of the carts outside and was coming out with a third.
I put on my boots and coat and went out to help her.
"Good morning," she said. "I thought you were going to sleep all day."
"It's only eight," I said.
"I know," she smiled.
She had traded in her high school letter jacket for one of Mrs. Lassiter's coats. She had a green homemade crocheted hat pulled down over her ears. Her nose was red from the frosty air.
"We could have done this after breakfast," I said.
"It is after breakfast," she said, still smiling. "Breakfast was served at six thirty. Didn't you get your wake-up call?"
She was acting as if nothing had happened the night before. Maybe nothing did...maybe it was a dream...maybe it was all the alcohol....
I just came out with it—
"Please stay, Sara."
She was headed back up the ramp. She stopped, stood there a second, and then resumed walking without saying anything.
"The whole reason we chose a big place like this was so we could all be comfortable and make a nice life for ourselves. You were part of that."
"This was all Jen's idea," she said from inside the truck. "This was what Jen wanted."
"What do you want?"
"I can't have what I want."
"I'm sorry about last night. I just--"
She stepped forward out of the shadows.
"No," she said. "I didn't mean that. I want my parents back. I want to go back trying to decide what my major should be when I transfer to the university. I want to see my boyfriend on the weekends and eat at McDonalds and all that.”
"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to keep saying that."
She went back into the shadow of the box and tugged on another cart.
"I had planned to ask the Somervilles again to live with us," I said. "I think we would all be safer if we stuck together like that."
"You might want to clear that with your girlfriend," Sara said, on her way out with another cart.
"I know Jen is being antisocial, but--"
"Please don't make excuses for her," Sara said. "Anyway, that bunch at the high school isn't too happy. Jen might be right with keeping it small. The more people you have together, the more conflict there will be."
"They just have a couple of people that are making it bad for everybody."
"So if we had a larger group, do you think we wouldn't have people like that?" she said.
"No," I said. "We could be selective about who we--"
"We already have someone like that," she said. "Jen is our Nathan."
"Oh," I said. "I don't think she's that bad."
"She is bossy and rude and it's her way or nothing."
"I'll talk to her about that."
Sara shook her head and laughed.
"I'll help you today with the horses, and I'll help you get some more supplies, but then I'd like you to drive me out to the Somervilles' house. Okay?"
"And if the Somervilles decide to come out here?"
"I don't know," she said. "I hear there's a group in town looking for a baby machine."
"Don't even joke about that."
Sara and I leaned on the fence and looked out on one of the pastures.
"I don't know which ones to keep and which ones to let go," I said.
"I think the girls and boys are separated," Sara said. "I think these are all boys. Do you want a mixture, or all one sex?"
"What do you think?" I said.
She turned and leaned her back against the fence, elbows up on the rails.
"I told you; I don't know about farm stuff."
"Well," I said, "I guess that if we get to the place where we need horses, then we're going to want male and female."
"Do horses go into heat like dogs?"
"I don't know," I said.
"If they do, you should just keep some of the girls. They'll attract the boys at the right time."
"If any boys are still alive."
"Yeah," she said. "Also, how can we tell if they haven't been neutered? Do they do that to horses?"
"I don't know that either," I said. "I suppose they do."
"Sounds like you don't know much. Sounds to me like you don't need to own horses."
"I concur."
"So whatcha gonna do?" she said, turning to face me.
"Okay, the ones in that field over there are females, you say?"
"Yep."
"There are six of them, and they have access to that pond. I say we keep those and let the rest go."
"That sounds easy enough," she said. "How do we let the rest go?"
"We'll just knock out a section of fence. There should be hammers in the barn."
The easy thing to do would have been to open the gates. However the gates opened to the interior of the property where the house and barns were. I didn't want a herd of horses standing around in the yard and driveway; I wanted them gone. They might find their way around and back up the driveway, but at least I wasn't making it easy on them.
We each got a hammer, and I found a pry bar. We entered the pasture on the east side of the driveway. It was muddy. The horses looked up from their grazing but didn't find us very interesting.
"Let's pop off the boards over there," I said, pointing to the corner away from the drive way but near the house. "I don't think we need to herd them out. They'll probably find their own way out."
"What if they don't?"
"Then they don't," I shrugged.
They would find their way. The fence separated a neighboring farm and there was another large pond over there. They were smart animals, and if they got thirsty, they'd leave.
We beat and pried on the boards until there was an opening between two of the posts. We walked down toward the road where the pasture had been subdivided and opened a place there for the horses on the other side.
Then we crossed over to the west side of the driveway and did the same on that side. Doing this on the west side also provided us with another escape route. It would be a muddy one, so we probably wouldn't be able to drive out. I'd have to make another one on the back side of the property at another time.
We were picking up the boards from the last opening and propping them against the fence when we noticed a man on the road. He was wearing ragged clothes, and judging from his movements, he was infected. He stopped at the end of the driveway and stared at us for a few minutes, and we stared back.
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