by Quil Carter
Lex’s eyes lifted, and Sasha saw a flicker of emotion. He caught the confused look that Sasha gave him in return, and laughed lightly. “I’m sorry, Sash,” Lex said. “I’ve been hearing, and seeing you just… running to the store, going out for walks during the day, answering phones.” His chin tightened, making his smile turn sad. “I’m so proud of you… and I’m so sorry for… for believing that you weren’t you. It was hard to understand that you could change so much, for the better, and I fucking hate what they did to you, but I sure do love the man that came back from that place.”
A pressure formed in Sasha’s throat, one that made it hard to swallow. “Thanks, Uncle,” Sasha said, trying to force down the lump of emotion. “You have no idea how much that means to hear you say that.”
“We love you, boogie,” Jobe said, his hand slipping into Sasha’s. Jobe squeezed it. “And we’re so happy you’re home.”
So happy I’m home…
Jesus, but I’m not home.
Or maybe I am? Maybe… Kheva decided to leave me behind. That perhaps it was too painful having me around with Kel dead. Why else would it be six weeks without him coming to get me?
Kheva promised he’d come and get me.
“Did… Kheva ever tell you where nightcrawlers came from?” Lex’s question brought Sasha back from his internal sadness. “Besides, well, Russia.”
Sasha paused, and both Lex and Jobe noticed that pause. But he decided in that split second, not to tell Jobe and Lex what had been told to him. If he wasn’t Lex’s biological nephew, he didn’t want his uncle to know. Lex had been more than a father to him than his own actual father, and even though he knew Lex wouldn’t disown him for not being his blood… Sasha didn’t want to get into it just yet.
So, Sasha shook his head, and decided to jump on the way Lex worded the question. “Kheva never told me anything,” he said with honesty. “Maybe one day I’ll find out more, but for now, I’m okay with not knowing.”
“I remember hearing about those conspiracy documentaries!” Jobe’s eyes lit up with wonder. Sasha hid his surprised look. “About the human experiments in Germany during World War 2? Maybe Sasha’s a German science experiment.” Jobe shook Sasha’s shoulder excitedly, his tongue sticking playfully out of his mouth.
Well, not German, but I think the formula for making us was stolen from them.
“Ah, it doesn’t matter…” Lex said with a smile. “It’s probably just some genetic thing.” Then his eyes narrowed at Sasha. “But I swear, you little shit, if you look inside of my head I’m going to boil you alive.”
Sasha’s eyes narrowed back, and just to be an ass, he dusted off his control panel, and drew up Lex’s beacon.
“Ugh, so dim,” Sasha said with a mock look of disgust. “A nightcrawler’s beacon is like a little living sun; you’re as glowy as Vantablack. I can’t read you, you’re too pathetic.”
“I guess the crazy makes it brighter,” Lex said aloofly, and for that, Sasha sent a small pulse of energy into his uncle’s beacon, making the man jolt and gasp.
Later that night, when Lex was resting comfortably, Sasha and Jobe got into Lex’s car and drove to the pharmacy. It was a beautiful summer night, warm enough to only need a light jacket, and as Sasha walked into the Pharmasave, he saw the moon peeking over the building, shining own on him with its silver glow.
So many times, he’d looked up at that moon, most of the times miserable, and wishing he was back here in this town, with his uncle and Jobe.
But tonight, his heart still longed to be elsewhere, in a secluded place called Ciel Lake, where his family once lived.
Right now, they would’ve already eaten dinner, and the three of them would be in the living room relaxing from a hard day’s work. Sasha had learned the joys of earning your supper there, and the satisfying pain of sore muscles from manual labour.
Now, he could already feel his muscles disappearing. He still went for walks, but it wasn’t the same––already he was readjusting to life without Kel and Kheva.
It was… heartbreaking.
“You okay, boog?” Jobe asked. They were sitting on the chairs surrounding the pick-up counter, waiting for Lex’s prescription to be filled.
Sasha, realizing he was staring off into nothing, looked back to Jobe with a start, but managed a smile back. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said.
Jobe was quiet for a moment; it looked as if he was reluctant to ask the question that was on his mind, but whatever hesitations he had, didn’t win out against his curiosity. “Are you… thinking about Kheva and Kel?”
Even their names being mentioned out loud, it brought a lot back. During all of this, Sasha was never the first one bring up Kel and Kheva; it always drew out emotions that Sasha wasn’t comfortable with sharing.
But why deny it?
“Yeah,” Sasha said quietly. “I… miss them both, a lot. I’m worried about Kheva too.”
Jobe, not making eye contact, nodding his head slowly; his face a lost-in-thought scowl. “Do you think he’ll come back?”
“He has to.”
Jobe looked up at Sasha, and there in his eyes lay a flicker of sadness. He shifted uncomfortably, and wiped his nose.
“Jobe… I belong with them,” Sasha continued. “And… and the blood I got from Nik and Sterling isn’t going to last forever. Eventually––” Fuck, eventually he has to come back for me. “––eventually, I need to go back.”
Jobe’s expression read devastation, but his only response was a nod.
“Baby,” Sasha sighed. He put his arm around Jobe and pulled him close. “You have Lex now, right? You seem head-over-fucking-boots for my uncle, which is ew.” The corner of Jobe’s mouth rose. “I need to… be with the guy…” Sasha swallowed, uncomfortable with himself over the emotions he was feeling towards Kheva. “I need to see what my future holds.”
“What if he hurts you…?”
“Did I just hear my fucking name?”
Sasha and Jobe’s attention turned towards the sudden ringing voice, and out from the hair care aisle, strolled Nik, with Sterling behind him. The two were wearing matching smug looks, expressions that seemed to fit most nightcrawlers’ faces perfectly.
Seeing them brought a different kind of excitement to Sasha, and he found himself immediately looking behind the two in hopes of seeing Kheva sauntering several paces away. But there was nothing, it was only those two.
Still though, it was a strange sensation to have Sterling and Nik in front of him. He’d been back in his old existence for weeks now, and with every passing day, his life at Ciel Lake seemed further away. Sometimes, it was like it had never happened, and this had all been some crazy dream.
“Jobe, what’s up?” Sterling asked, holding out his hand for Jobe to shake. “You know, it’s because of Jobe and Lex that we were able to find you two.” Sasha’s eyebrows rose at this. “Tell ‘em, Jobe.”
Jobe tried to smile as he shook Sterling’s hand, but Sasha could see clearly that he was uncomfortable being in the same space as nightcrawlers. Or at least nightcrawlers that weren’t Sasha. “Ah…” He shrugged a shoulder. “It was Kheva actually. He got inside of Lex’s head and told him where to find Nik,” Jobe explained. “We’d been looking everywhere for you two, but Nik, of course, knew where those other douche bags lived.”
Kheva had alerted Lex? So, when Kheva had latched onto Sasha’s roving tendrils, he’d been trying to contact Lex, not Sterling or Nik. Maybe Rob and Caelum would’ve been alerted if Kheva had attempted to summon another nightcrawler.
Sasha didn’t know, but it was nice to know that the sense of betrayal he’d felt when he’d first met Nik… was most likely Nik betraying Caelum.
Who was now deader than dirt.
The glance that Nik gave to Sasha, told Sasha that he’d been listening in on Sasha’s own internal thoughts. “Caelum and I go back a long time,” he said. “But he was acting like an asshole. He deserved what he got and more, and he knows it.”
Nik then nodded to Sterling, who reached into a satchel he was carrying. He pulled out a paper bag, and handed it to Sasha. “You’ll be running out soon, and we look out for one another,” he said. Jobe’s nose wrinkled as Sasha took the bag, obviously aware of the contents inside of it. “You’ve heard nothing from Kheva?”
Inside, Sasha’s heart stung. He was hoping that Nik and Sterling may have heard something about his master.
“Nothing…” Sasha said quietly. “You… I mean… nothing on your end either?”
Nik shook his head, the smug smile that he’d wielded initially now gone, replaced by a deep frown. “Not a flicker of life,” he said. “I wanted to deliver him some stock. If he’s killed Rob…” Sasha swallowed hard at this, “he’ll be running out of his own stocked supply as well. But I don’t really feel like facing the backlash.”
“Someone…” Sasha sighed. “Someone has to check on him eventually.”
“No, nightcrawler, we don’t and we won’t,” Nik said sternly. “Kheva can take care of himself. If he’s grieving Kel he needs to do that on his own time. I’ve known Kheva for many years, it’s best not to rush him.”
“I suppose…” Sasha said quietly.
“Alexander Zakharin?” a female pharmacist suddenly called.
Nik glanced past Sasha, his eyes finding the pharmacist. “We should bounce, then,” he said. “We’ll be in touch and will re-stock you in several weeks. If you wish to give back, we can always use some of yours as well.” Jobe made a face at this that made even Nik chuckle. “Humans are so grossed out over the most basic of things. Goodbye, Sasha. Jobe.”
After Nik and Sterling had left and Jobe had gotten Lex’s pain killers, Sasha looked inside the bag and saw frozen cubes of opaque and red. “It’s funny how my mind reacts to seeing this,” Sasha said as he rose to his feet. “I’m happy as fuck to be holding two acquaintances cum and blood.”
Jobe hissed, his hands flapping back and forth anxiously. “Jesus, don’t say that shit out loud!” he said, looking in all directions. “Nightcrawlers are so fucking weird.” Sasha laughed and they carried on out of the store.
They continued home, Jobe driving and Sasha looking out the window. It was quiet between them, which was odd for Jobe, and when Sasha looked over at him, he saw a smile on his friend’s face.
“Thinking about your new boyfriend?” Sasha said casually.
Jobe snorted. “Stop that,” he said, the tips of his ears turning a noticeable shade of crimson. “It’s… nothing like that, boog. It would be weird for you.”
Sasha’s eyes travelled back to the window, the dark suburbs passing by. “I just want you two to be happy,” he said honestly. “I don’t like the thought of either of you being alone. You went through enough when I was at Ciel Lake.”
Now it was Sasha’s turn to see the eyes burning into him. “You… seriously mean that?” Jobe asked slowly. “Seriously, Sash?”
Sasha nodded. “Yeah, I’m serious,” he said. “It’s… I just want everyone to be as happy. I don’t want to be a burden anymore.”
“Jesus,” Jobe whispered. “Every day you just blow me away, boogie. You fucking blow me away with how you are now. It’s amazing. You’re amazing, you know that?”
Sasha flashed Jobe a cocky grin. “I do know that.”
The nights were always the worst. During the day, he kept himself busy, pushing away the feelings of loneliness, of longing and pain, but once Jobe and Lex went to sleep, and Sasha found himself alone inside of his bedroom… it all came rushing back.
At one point in time, Sasha longed for his old bed, but now… it was strange to wake up alone without Kel and Kheva on either side of him, or at the very least, hearing Kel making breakfast downstairs.
Sometimes he dreamed of them, sometimes he had nightmares about them, but whatever it was, nightmare or dream, he woke up with an intense longing inside of his chest, wanting badly to feel a warm body next to his.
Even Jobe and Lex had each other. One push of Sasha’s nightcrawler abilities and he could see that Jobe would sneak into Lex’s bedroom once Sasha retreated to his apartment. Not for anything sexual, thank god, but just so Jobe could sleep next to the man that Sasha knew… he was beginning to love.
It was weird. It would always be weird––but it wasn’t about what Sasha thought.
He was waiting for the guy he loved deeply, even though… it seemed that he’d been forgotten about.
Sasha sighed and stared up at the ceiling. Sometimes, fuck, sometimes he wondered if this was it… Kheva was never coming back for him. Kel was gone, Kheva ruined by sadness and guilt, and now it was just over.
It was just fucking over.
Was that it? It’s fucking over? Jobe and Lex get to be together, and Sasha gets to… watch it happen and accept with an ache in his heart that his life at Ciel Lake was finished. It had all been a dream.
For reasons Sasha didn’t know, tonight this thought brought a burning restriction to his throat, which then travelled up to his eyes to make them sting. He closed them tight and clenched his teeth, wanting… so badly-fucking-wanting, for Kheva to come back to him. For Kel to be okay.
He missed them. He missed their voice. Fuck, he even missed the serval.
I bet Jye was ecstatic to be home…
Even though it wasn’t the same as Kel’s cooking, the following morning Sasha walked into Lex’s side of the house to the aroma of pancakes, eggs, sausage, and hash browns. After a rough night of barely sleeping, it was a welcome comfort.
Jobe stared at Sasha as Sasha popped a small Ziploc bag, containing a cube of semen, into a cup of water, then placed the submerged bag into the microwave. Sasha ignored Jobe as he pressed 1:33 on the microwave, then finally glanced over once he’d pushed start.
“What?” Sasha said with a sigh and an eye roll. “You know I need it not to get migraines!”
“It’s still gross!” Jobe said, he looked to the dining room where Lex was munching on a breakfast sausage. “He just does it all willy-nilly!” he complained. “Oh, don’t mind me, Jobe, just heating up my nightcrawler semen.”
Lex burst out laughing, then winced and put a hand to his chest. However, that didn’t seem to stop him. “Sash,” he said through laughter. “Why don’t you put it on the side of your plate for dipping, like ketchup?” His tone steadily got higher and squeakier as he said this, his face going red as his body rolled with laughter. Jobe, of course, joined in with the laughs at this comment. “Or maybe spread it on toast?” Jobe’s eyes shut tight, tears rolling down them, the laughter now high-pitched wheezing. “Perhaps a squirt or two in your c-c-coffee?”
That was it for Jobe and Lex, as Sasha stared at them both with a flat look, the two howled with laughter, so hard Sasha was sure Uncle Lex and Jobe were going to bust their stitches. He shook his head, and when the microwave beeped, he took out the cup, holding the now melted semen, and grabbed a pair of scissors. “You laugh, but every single time you two make fun of me for this, I put a few drops of cum in your rum and cokes.”
Sasha let Jobe and Lex continue to laugh at his expense, and while they carried on, he cut the Ziploc bag around the warm opaque liquid then quickly drank it––out of sight of the two hyenas seemingly having the time of their lives.
Then, he grabbed some breakfast and sat down at the dining room table, Lex and Jobe calmed down enough to be able to eat their food without choking. In the evening, they usually ate their meals in the living room, but breakfast was suited for the bright dining room table, pushed against the far wall near the entrance, which gave Sasha a perfect view of the driveway and the road.
“You’re looking so much better today,” Jobe said, looking Lex up and down. “Isn’t his colour looking better, Sash? The wounds seem to really be healing well too.”
Lex smiled, still a tired smile, but it was there. He did look a lot better when he was out and about, not lying down in his bedroom in the dark. “I’m getting more and more energy every day,” Lex said. “I real
ly thought I was fucked… but it looks like you two can’t get rid of me yet.”
“Never,” Jobe said. He put his hand on top of Lex’s and rubbed it. “You’re going to die an old man. Shit like that will never happen to you again. Especially since they’re all dead.”
“The asshole ones anyway,” Lex said. “Lariat and Nate had a big family, but not all of them were nightcrawlers.” Jobe’s lip pulled at the mention of Nate. Sasha had held nothing back when he told Jobe and Lex how Nate had died. There was no guilt attached to it. He knew Nate was their friend, but he was Sasha, Kel, and Kheva’s enemy.
“Sasha will be here to protect us,” Lex continued, giving Sasha a smile. “Our own personal, supernatural bodyguard who’ll––Sash?” Lex’s expression grew concerned when he saw the look on Sasha’s face. “Sash, what is it?”
Sasha rose to his feet, his eyes fixed on the pick-up truck that he just saw pull into his uncle’s driveway.
A black pickup truck.
With a dark-haired man inside.
Kheva.
Kheva was here.
Lex and Jobe’s heads both turned in the direction Sasha was looking, and their jaws dropped.
“Oh fuck,” Lex whispered. “Fucking… no.”
“Sasha, you don’t need to go with him,” Jobe said hastily, a frantic energy suddenly overtaking the morning calm. “Baby, you don’t need to go back. You can stay here with us. Baby… please stay here with us.”
Sasha didn’t move, he didn’t speak, he only watched as the man himself, the nightcrawler who’d become a legend inside of his own mind, stepped out of the pickup truck, looking…
…looking fucking amazing.
His hair was a bit longer now, his eyes brilliant enough for Sasha to spot from inside the house, and he was still carrying himself towards the entrance stairs with the grace of a deity. None of that had been lost, even with the traumatic things that had happened to him. Kheva Swift, Gabriel Madden, was still that mighty beast who trumped all those around him. Who stood equal to none.
