“I was an idiot. I’d never deployed before while leaving anyone behind that really mattered, my immediate family not included. Every time I thought about being over there and you back here, my heart raced like a rabbit being chased by a coyote. I couldn’t breath and then the world around me would turn black. Panic attacks according to Doc. I had to get it under control or I wouldn’t make it back.”
“You never said anything,” she murmured.
“Yeah. I thought I had to be this big, bad, strong guy for you. The only way I could get on that plane and leave you was to shut it all down. Lock away all my emotions, my fears, and pretend it was no big deal.”
Colette nodded but didn’t interrupt.
“Every time I heard your voice, it ripped me apart. I’d get off the phone and I’d cry like a five-year old. I spent a lot of time working out and playing basketball to burn up the anger and frustration. I just wanted to come home, to hold you, and feel you in my arms.”
“I wish you’d told me that.”
Their eyes met. “Me too.”
He’d wished it a thousand times over the past decade but that hadn’t changed anything. Maybe it would now, even if just saying it brought them both some kind of understanding or closure.
Man, he hated that word, hated what it meant. As if he could just go on about his life and pretend that the two of them never happened, as if he’d never given her his heart and never got it back.
He crouched down in front of her and took her too cool hands. “I’m sorry, Colette. So sorry for not being the person you needed me to be, for not being there and for mostly being an idiot. If I could go back, I’d do it all differently. I would have opened up to you. I would have shared those fears with you and I would have been on the first plane home to be at that appointment with you.”
She was crying now and so was he, but he didn’t care if she knew he wasn’t some macho, tough guy. “We can’t change what happened. We both made mistakes. We can learn from them, do better, right?”
Please say yes.
“Older and wiser, or so they say.” She gave a little half-hearted laugh as if she wasn’t sure of either of them.
“Is that a yes?”
He couldn’t believe he was proposing the idea. A second chance? He’d spent just as much time over the past ten years hating this woman as he’d had loving her. Guess, his buddy Jax had been right and he’d been walking a fine line.
“What exactly are you asking here, Casey?”
“To give us a second chance.”
She sat back, pulling her hands free. “I don’t know, Casey. I may be older and all that, but I wasn’t strong enough to handle military life back then and I don’t know if that’s changed.”
“It’s different now. I’m on shore duty, sweetheart. No more trips overseas for me.”
She bit down on her lip, brows pulled in concentration. He needed to take this slow.
“Why don’t we try being friends?”
A slow smile spread on her face. “I think that’s a pretty great idea, maybe your best yet.” She grabbed the take-out carton and walked to the kitchen to pop the food in the microwave, but not before he saw her bit down on her lower lip. She was thinking and he’d take that as a good sign.
“It’s not my best idea, but it’s up there.” No, the best he’d ever had was marrying this amazing woman. Being her friend? That was a great plan he had no doubts about, but being more? He had some doubts as to whether it was a good idea or the worst ever.
Chapter Seven
The rest of the morning had passed quietly with her reading on the couch while Casey shouted out answers to the game show he watched. Colette had tried not to laugh, but he was completely invested as if he were on the show himself. Finally, near noon, the rain stopped and the sun peaked out from behind gray clouds. Casey stepped outside with his cell phone in hand, probably to check on his truck. When he came back inside he had a look on his face that Colette couldn’t decipher.
“What’s up?” she asked.
“Good and bad news. The truck still isn’t done. The storm flooded the mechanic’s daughter’s house and he had to go help bail her out.”
“Oh well, but not surprising considering how hard it was coming down last night. What’s the good news?” She didn’t know if he considered that the bad or good, and she wasn’t so sure she’d call it bad news either. It did mean they had more time to reconnect.
“I’ve rented us a pair of bicycles. Go change. They’re delivering them to the villa along with some snacks.”
She glanced out the French doors to the puddles on the patio. “Casey, it’s going to be a giant mud puddle out there.”
“So, don’t wear white.” His grin was a little on the wicked side. “You never minded getting a little dirty before.”
Oh, game on, baby.
And that’s how she ended up staring at Casey’s backside for the next hour.
The ride from Casa Blanca to Barefoot Mountain and the Calusa House and Museum was gorgeous with lots of trees and shrubs glistening from the rain, and bright flowers filling out their branches. Neither talked much on the way, with Casey in the lead and aiming straight for every mud puddle he could find. She, on the other hand, tried to avoid as many as possible. She didn’t mind getting dirty if the reward was worth the effort.
They toured the museum first and read how the property had been passed from long-time resident, Balzac Cutter to his great-nephew, Cutter Valentine. Cutter, a pro baseball player and now the manager of the local Barefoot Bay Bucks had planned to build a house on the land. That is, until Luke McBain and his now-wife, Arielle had discovered buried artifacts. Cutter changed his plans and instead sponsored the Calusa House and Museum.
“It’s nice,” she said as they stepped back out into the afternoon sun, “that he set aside his plans and honored the people who had lived here first. I mean, it couldn’t have been easy giving up a view like that.” She gestured to the sparkling gulf before them.
Her apartment wasn’t far from the beach back in Pensacola, but she didn’t have a view like the one before her.
Casey took her hand and started walking up a hill. “I heard a little about this place when I went running yesterday. Arielle McBain works at the resort. I guess she’s one of the wedding planners and her husband heads up the resort security.”
“That must be nice, working at the same place…saving gas, sneaking kisses on the sly as you passed each other throughout the day.”
“It might be tortuous too. Seeing each other and not being able to steal a kiss when you want.” His gaze strayed straight to her lips.
She couldn’t help it, or maybe she didn’t want to stop the urge, but she licked her lips, never looking away. “So how did the two of them find the artifacts? I didn’t see that noted in the museum.”
He’d held her challenge for several long, very long moments before he simply smiled and continued walking. He never let go of her hand and pointed out spots to watch so she wouldn’t trip. When they reached the top, her mouth dropped open and she quickly closed it. If she’d thought the view below was something, then the only way to describe what was before her was: spectacular.
For miles all she could see was never ending blue. As she turned she could spot the top of the baseball stadium, parts of town and even Naples in the distance. This is view she’d kill to wake up to every day.
Casey pulled a tarp out of the backpack he’d been carrying and laid it on the ground. Next, he pulled out a blanket and put that over the tarp before planting himself on one side, careful to keep his muddy boots off the fabric. He gave her hand a little tug and she dropped down beside him.
“You’re right that they didn’t mention how the artifacts were found in the museum. I don’t blame them. If some visitor knew it was the site of a murder, they probably wouldn’t come out here.”
“What? How do you know that? Oh my God, did it happen in the house? Who was it?” Chills ran up and down her arms even though it
had to be close to eighty degrees out. She’d only been kidding about what she’d do for the view, but apparently someone else wasn’t. Knowing she could be sitting on a spot where someone had been killed kind of creeped her out.
“I overheard some people talking at the resort. I’m not sure exactly where it happened, but I guess it had something to do with a greedy contractor.”
She scooted closer to Casey, and slipped her arm through his instantly feeling safer. “That’s really sad.” She looked around again, making sure they were truly alone. “You don’t think it’s haunted here, do you?”
Casey kissed the top of her head and pulled her down to lie next to him on the blanket. “Ghosts can’t hurt you, only the living can do that.”
She knew that all too well.
They slipped into a companionable silence as the gray clouds were pushed out to see by fluffy white ones. They dipped in and out around the sun, keeping it from getting too hot.
Casey cleared his throat but didn’t look her way. “I guess I should have asked, are you seeing anyone?”
“Well, I do spend a lot of time with Ben and Jerry, but it’s not a monogamous relationship.”
“I’ve heard they get around.”
“That they do,” she laughed. “I spend a lot of time at the Pensacola Neighborhood Kitchen. It’s more fun to cook for a crowd.”
“So that’s a no?” he prodded.
She rolled over on her side and propped herself up on her elbow. “I’m single, by choice. I’ve dated a few guys over the years, but I’m surrounded by a bunch of squids and air jockeys. Not exactly the best candidates if you’re looking for someone who will be home every night.”
“Not being home doesn’t mean unfaithful.”
“Oh, Case…” She brushed a bit of mud off his cheeks, wishing she could do more like take him in her arms and love him forever. “I never thought you’d been anything but true.”
He continued to stare at the sky, not making eye contact. She got it, they had baggage and yet if they could let it go, they had a whole future ahead of them. They’d tried once before and totally screwed it up. What was to say that history wouldn’t repeat itself?
Because I’m smarter now, because I know it wasn’t easier to be on my own, and I’ve never felt for anyone the way I do for him.
“Thank you for that, for having faith in me.” He dragged his arm across his eyes and then the next second, he was leaning over her, pinning her to the ground. “Tell me, truthfully. Do you think you have room in your life for Ben, Jerry, and me?”
“For a second there, I thought you were going to make me give up my guys and I was going to have to tell you the deal was off. But since you’re willing to share, yes. I want to try again, Casey.”
“Good, because I don’t think I could keep seeing you every day and not be able to have you ever night.”
~*~
He wanted her right then, right there and didn’t care who came along and saw them. He’d waited years for the woman and he was about at the end of his rope.
“Every night sounds like a bit much. Kind of exhausting.” She brushed more mud off of his face and shirt. “Maybe we should come up with a schedule? You know the park has to shut down every now and then for maintenance.”
“Trust me, sweetheart, I know how to oil your springs and wind you up.” He nibbled along her ear. “But I’m willing to take this at whatever speed makes you comfortable.”
Her face scrunched up causing Casey to lift up. Was he squishing her?
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I was just thinking, I don’t know how to do this. We’re well past the first day stuff. I mean, it’s probably safe to say you still love just about any kind of food put in front of you, and you’ve already confirmed you’re still addicted to silly game shows. You know how I take my tea, and I’m still a lightweight when it comes to alcohol and I’ve seen you naked. So what step does that put us at?” She’d rambled on, the stress lines between her eyes getting deeper and deeper with each passing second.
Casually he ran his thumb back and forth over her forehead, trying without out success to calm her. “I’m thinking the next step is me seeing you naked.”
She rolled her eyes smiling.
“Hey, it’s only fair. Otherwise we have an imbalance of power in our relationship and that’s not healthy.”
“Have you started watching daytime talk shows too?”
“No, I think I read that in Cosmo or Redbook. Or maybe it was Playboy. They have good articles and advice. Ow—”
She’d smacked him upside his head but the frown lines were gone, replaced by laugh lines that went all the way up to her eyes. “You’re awful and I’m not buying for one minute that you read the articles.”
“Sure I do, but we can start at step one or twenty, sweetheart. If we’re going to give this a shot, I want to do everything I can to make it work.”
“Tell me something first.” She picked at the sleeve of his t-shirt, not looking him in the eye. “What made you change your mind? Yesterday, you couldn’t get away fast enough.”
“Knowing the truth of why you left and admitting I was just as much to blame for our marriage failing. And there’s no way you can drive me this crazy if I didn’t still care about you.”
“Aw, Casey, that’s so romantic.” She chuckled and looked up at him, cold sober. “You drive me crazy too.”
“That’s me, Mr. Romance.” He cut off any sharp retort she could think of when he kissed her.
At first, he tried to keep it light, it was basically their second date, if he counted dinner last night. The minute Colette wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled her into him, he was lost. Lost in the kiss, and the feel of her pressed against him. Lost in an ocean of memories: kissing her good night on their real first date, under a moonlit sky after she said yes, their first kiss as husband and wife, and countless moments in the middle of the night while making love, or right before he headed out the door.
He buried his face in the crook between her neck and shoulder as the emotions crashed over him. Shit, way to impress the girl. Cry when you kiss.
She stroked her hand through his short hair down to his neck and back. “Casey, you okay?” After a few moments, she tilted her head to try to make eye contact. “Was it that bad? I admit, I’m a little out of practice, but—”
“You still talk too much when you’re nervous.” He lifted his head and smiled. He knew his eyes were glossy. So what? If they were going to make it work, she’d have to accept him warts and all. “And you still kiss like a sex siren. It’s just—”
“A lot to take in all at one?” She finished for him.
“Yeah. Kind of like a homecoming.”
She drew her arms tighter and pulled his face back to hers and kissed him. They stayed locked like that for who knows how long with the sun beating down on them, the wind brushing his back and the gulls squawking overhead. He could have stayed there forever if it weren’t for the rumble of thunder.
He turned over and looked at the dark gray clouds that had rolled back in. By the looks and sounds of things, they’d never make it back before the rain. “We gotta go, babe. The last place we want to be during a thunderstorm is on the top of this mountain.”
She tugged him back down for one more kiss. “Things were just starting to get good. Stupid Mother Nature.”
He rolled over and stood, holding out a hand to this crazy, passionate woman and wondered how he’d survived the past ten years without her in his life. “Trust me, our adventure is just starting.”
Before they’d made it a mile from the museum the skies opened up and the rain poured down. Colette screeched, and he looked over his shoulder to see muddy water cover her from head to toe. She caught up even with him, shook her head and laughed. “Race you back and winner gets first shower.”
“With what I’ve got planned, there are no losers.”
Chapter Eight
They were both soaking wet and cover
ed in mud as they parked the borrowed bikes outside the main building and stepped into the lobby. She’d tried wringing out her shirt before they came in for whatever good that would do. Casey had just laughed and tugged her inside.
“We should really get out of these wet clothes,” Casey whispered in her ear.
Across the lobby the owner, Lacey, waved to them. Colette rolled her eyes at Casey, knowing exactly what he meant and walked over to the reception desk.
“You poor things. Look at you. I was hoping you two had taken up refuge inside the museum during this storm, but I do have some good news. We’ve had a room open up here in the main building. It’s available for the duration of your stay and yours on us, for which ever one or you wants it.”
“Oh, that’s so nice.” Colette glanced at Casey to try to guess at his thoughts. She knew where they were heading a few minutes ago, but maybe this would change his mind. Maybe he’d want to take things a little slower, give himself a little space to think. If he did, she wouldn’t blame him. Forty-eight hours ago, he hated her. Or maybe he’d been standing too close to the line and simply thought he’d hated her, but in reality, he still loved her? It really was a lot to process.
Casey squeezed her hand and smiled down at her. “Thanks, Lacey, but I think we’re okay with just the villa.”
“Yes, we are,” she said quickly, wanting nothing more than to get back to their room and get out of their wet clothes so they could pick up where they left off.
They ran to the villa, soaked to the bone, with water squishing up through her toes with every step. Colette didn’t think she’d ever been so wet before outside of bathing or swimming. She hated stepping into the pristine villa with their muddy clothes and shoes, but they didn’t have a choice; the backdoor was locked. Casey took the key card and as he unlocked the front door she hopped on one foot and then another to tug off her sneakers. She probably looked like some kind of demented, one-legged bird hopping around. She didn’t’ care because by the time they got inside they were both laughing.
A Sailor's Second Chance Page 6
