“Thank you,” she said as she pushed past Joel and ran down the spiral steps. She needed to get some fresh air. She could feel herself gasping.
“What for?” Joel called after her, trying to catch her arm.
She made it to the front door. She held it open, the humid air starting to spike.
“For pushing me into the arms of a man that is ten of you.” She locked her gaze on Joel and suddenly felt alleviated and free from the burden of stress that came with struggling to be true to her heart.
“What are you talking about, Mimi?” Joel’s face was twisted and just inches from Mimi’s.
She turned to face him. “You are not the only one who has a few secrets,” she whispered.
“What secrets?”
“I’m in love with your brother.”
As the words fell from her mouth, she was unprepared for Joel’s reaction. He stumbled backwards, holding his head in his hands.
“Did you sleep with him?” He grabbed hold of her shoulders, shaking her as he screamed.
Just moments ago, she felt like she had finally regained power and control of her own life, but now she was truly frightened.
“Let go of me,” she screamed.
It was as if Joel could not hear her. His face was haunted, like he was possessed and out of control. She felt herself fall to the ground as he finally let her go.
She curled into a ball on the porch, crying.
Joel stood over her. He hugged his arms around his body.
“Mimi, I’m sorry.”
“Get away from me!” she sobbed. Her hair stuck to her face and her body trembled.
“I forgive you, and I’ll fix everything.”
“You forgive me? There is nothing I want your forgiveness for. I’m not sorry. I don’t care if it hurts you. I love Austin and I’m glad all of this led me to him. Don’t you get it, Joel? We can’t come back from this. Hiding the truth made me fall for somebody who wasn’t real.”
“Don’t you understand how much I love you?” Joel sobbed.
Mimi pushed herself back onto her feet.
“Were you loving me when you lied to me about Austin and why you fell out? Were you loving me when you slept with my best friend?”
“I can’t live without you.”
“You have to.” She finally found her voice. She had spent too long giving him excuses, reasons, but she couldn’t do it anymore.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying it’s over. I want a divorce.”
“Mimi, no. We can get past this. It can all be undone.”
He moved close to her, trying to reach out to her, but she wriggled away from his grip.
“Mimi, please. I’m begging you.”
“Joel, I’ve let you go.”
She had no idea what to do. Her thoughts whirled around her head. She had no idea when she became so fearful.
“Austin is not who you think he is.”
“Oh, and who is he? He’s the man looking after your kid, he’s the man that told your wife the truth, and if you are going to try and tell me that he is the reason that your father is dead, save it. Just save it. I know everything. Unlike you, he’s honest.”
Mimi’s pulse raced as she waited for Joel to speak.
“I won’t let him have you.”
“You don’t have a choice.”
“I won’t let him. No, just no.”
Joel shook his head. Perspiration beaded on his forehead, running in rivulets down his face. The heat bounced off the wooden porch; the blue sky lay still in the humid air.
Suddenly, there was silence. It was a moment where only the sound of their breathing could be heard. They stared at one another. Mimi had given her heart away, and she wasn’t going to try and give it back to the man who had betrayed her over and over again.
“Joel, you have to let me go.”
“I don’t want to. I can’t.”
He began crying. There was a small part of her that wanted to reach out to him, to take the pain away, because despite how much he had hurt her, no matter how much of the version he portrayed himself to be was in front of her, it was too late to give him any comfort.
“What now?” Joel said.
“Now you leave, and I’ll file for a divorce.”
“Just like that? We let us go, without even trying?”
“I don’t love you, Joel. The person I thought I was in love with was nothing but a fictional character you created. I don’t want to live in a world of make believe. I want a real marriage. I want the truth, even when it hurts. I want the whole story, warts and all. I want real love with a man does not sleep with my best friend, somebody I can trust and depend on.”
“But it’s okay for you to fuck my brother?” he spat.
“I didn’t. I made love to him, and I’ll keep on doing that because he’s the one I want and he’s more of a man than you’ll ever be. You can hide behind your big guns, your quest to go out there and fight the enemy, but the person who is your real enemy isn’t Austin. It’s you.”
Mimi realised their love had been a battle all of its own. It had been a war. She knew love is seeing the truth in your lover’s eyes and being able to accept that truth. Their relationship had been like glass. It was broken and it was better to leave it broken than to try and put it back together.
***
After the words were out and there was no reconciling, no way back, Mimi asked Joel to leave the ranch even though she knew he had more of a right to be there than she did. After all, no matter what had been said and done, this was still his childhood home.
When he tried to claw back to her, she had kept strong. She told him that if he really loved her like he said he did, he would leave and give her a true chance at being happy. Into the early afternoon, Joel went back into the house and gathered all his belongings, packing them into the same bag he had arrived with.
Mimi had no idea where Austin was, but she hoped he wouldn’t be back before Joel left. She needed some distance to grieve the end of her marriage once and for all and clear the way for her crash landing.
Although it was her choice to let go, she still felt a sorrow inside her. There was one last feeling left. Joel had been the man that she had chosen. She had married him, and although she could barely look at him for all the things he’d put her through, he was once her love.
Even if she would never hear his voice again or see those eyes again, and no matter how hard it was for her to say goodbye, she knew it was time to truly let him go.
Her life ended the day she was told her husband had been killed, but it wasn’t because he hadn’t kept his promise that he was coming back to her. It was because it was the day that led her on the journey to find the truth.
She could hear Joel fumbling around, his feet heavy on the floor above her. The knot in her stomach tightened as she thought about what had just happened. In a short amount of time, Joel would leave and this was born out of her own choice. She thought of Meg and was tempted to call her, to tell her exactly what she thought of her, but what would be the point?
Her life back in the UK was a distant memory. She would always be a part of her family, and she knew that she didn’t need to be physically there.
It had been the longest time without Joel, but she knew she was missing a man who wasn’t real. He was riddled with secrets and lies. She thought she couldn’t live without him. People told her it would get better in time.
In her dreams, he had come back to her, and there were too many times she had woken up in an empty room, his place next to her cold and empty.
Now she was sending him away for reasons she knew were right, but somehow it didn’t make things any easier. Austin had been real to her, he had been honest, and that was what she needed. It was what her heart wanted.
The sunlight flooded the kitchen. Joel walked in, and he looked crestfallen. Mimi couldn’t meet his gaze. She felt something she couldn’t explain.
“I know you’ve made your choi
ce, but I promise, if you give me one last chance, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” He kept a respectful distance from her as he spoke.
“I wish you nothing but happiness, and let this be a lesson learned with whomever you give your heart to next. Be honest with her and never hide anything because sometimes the truth will hurt, but lies will wreck things.”
“I’ve told you the truth. You know everything now, Mimi. You think you know my brother, but you don’t.”
Mimi shook her head. “Stop, Joel. Please, just stop.”
She knew he was trying to sway her, to give her doubt in her mind. Everything she ever believed her husband to be was a lie. He was a master of deception, and she almost died following the path to find out the man he was.
She reminded herself that she had been deceived by the two people she had trusted most in her life—her best friend and her husband.
Joel hoisted the heavy bag over his shoulder.
“So, this is really it? You’re letting us go.”
Mimi lowered her head. Her heart felt like it would explode out of her chest. Suddenly, tears were falling from her eyes.
“The truth is, we were never ever really together. I married a stranger. You made me believe you were somebody you weren’t.”
“This is for you.” Joel handed her a crumpled photograph of herself. “This is the photo that pulled me through the darkest of days in Afghanistan. It was you I lived for.”
“Not Meg?” Mimi spat.
“I was stupid. I know I should have never have slept with her. I regretted it, and I hated that she stood there with us on our wedding day. I’m sorry. Really, I am sorry for everything. If Austin is the one that makes you happy, then…”
Her head jerked up. “I almost died, you almost died. We have to trust that all of this happened for a reason, Joel. We both have a path to follow, only it isn’t with each other.”
“I love you. I’ll always love you.”
He moved toward her and gently kissed her on the lips and turned to leave.
“Where will you go?” Mimi asked.
“What does it matter? Just make sure he makes you happy.”
Joel realized he must pay the price for everything he had put Mimi through. No matter how hard it would be to walk away from her, he knew he loved her enough to give her what she wanted, even if that meant giving her to the man who had constantly picked up the pieces of his mistakes.
“Look after yourself,” Mimi whispered.
“I’ll get a lawyer and take care of the formalities,” he said. Mimi felt her hands tremble.
Joel didn’t say anything else. He wriggled his solid, white gold wedding band off his left finger. It clinked as it hit the marble kitchen table like a bomb, the sound of it deafening.
Chapter 28
Mimi cried until there were no more tears left to cry. She closed herself off into the solace of the guest room and curled tightly into a ball, using her hands to support her head. It was dark outside with only the sound of crickets to be heard. Choices had been made. She followed her heart, only it didn’t make saying goodbye any easier.
Mimi was angry at Meg. She wondered how she could betray her like that. She had written a thousand text messages since, but she deleted them all. Somehow, she couldn’t find the words to say that would express the weight of the pain Meg caused.
Mimi thought back to any signs she may have missed, but the thing that scared her more than anything was she hadn’t suspected a thing and even now, looking back with a fresh pair of eyes, she was still confused. It worried her how many other times Meg would have betrayed her. After all, she kept so much hidden.
The sound of footsteps interrupted her thoughts. The door gently pushed open. Her eyes were swollen and burning from the salty tears.
Austin slowly walked to the bed and gently ran the palm of his hand through her hair.
“Mimi, are you awake?” he quietly asked.
“He’s gone.”
“What happened?”
She pulled her body up, the moonlight catching the dried streaks of tears.
“I didn’t know him. He wasn’t the man I thought I married and then I found out that he slept with my best friend. I just…”
“Wait, slow down. Do you mean Meg, the girl that you came here with?”
Mimi nodded. Austin leaned his head forward and exhaled. He felt angry. His brother’s deceit just kept coming, and he couldn’t understand how he would jeopardize somebody so beautiful.
He tried to think of words to say, to tell her that she made the right choice, but he knew that if he said that, it would only sound like it was for his own self gain, and right now, this wasn’t about him. It was about two innocent people—Mimi and Jake.
“What have you decided?”
“I told him I want a divorce.”
“Is that what you really want?”
“We had a fight, out on the porch, and I said some things that maybe I didn’t even truly realise until today,” she paused, suddenly feeling nervous. “We fought about you.”
It was hard for Mimi to look at Austin. She felt so exposed, so vulnerable. She twisted her body and stood up, moving toward the window.
“I told him I’m in love with you, and you are the one who has my heart.”
There was silence. She gripped her fingers onto the window sill, trying to steady herself.
“Is that the truth?” Austin said. “Or were you just trying to get back at him?”
Mimi spun on her heel to face him, shocked that he had just asked her that. She looked at him, wide-eyed. “What do you think?”
“Truthfully, I don’t know what to think anymore. This is every inch of fucked up.”
“Did you mean what you said when you told me you loved me?”
Austin’s face was serious. He hung his head forward and exhaled. “I am in love with you, but I don’t want to be your second choice or your revenge to Joel for the things that he has done.”
She spoke slowly. “Joel was my husband, and I married him because I loved him, but coming here, I uncovered the truth about him. The more I learned, the more I realized that I didn’t know him. And then there is you. Austin, there are so many things that have blown me away—finding out about Jake, almost dying, thinking that Joel was dead and then he wasn’t, and now finding out my best friend betrayed me. In all of this, you have been the one to catch me.”
“But if I didn’t send you away that day, you would have never been in that car wreck. That’s my fault.”
“You didn’t know. I don’t blame you for that.”
Austin looked tired. His eyes were heavy and his body looked strained. He sat on the edge of the bed, silence filling the room once more.
“What now?” he muttered.
“Now, you need to decide if you still want me to stay.”
Mimi held her breath, waiting for Austin to take her in his arms, to tell her that it was all going to be all right, that he would look after her, but when he stood up to leave the room, panic came over her.
A thought entered her head, one that she had never considered before. Did she really know Austin? Less than a couple of days ago, he was practically down on a bended knee telling her how in love he was with her. And now, when she said she wanted him, he was silent.
Suddenly, she wondered if Austin was still angry at Joel and used her to get back at him. Had she missed yet another betrayal right in front of her?
Mimi seemed to have lost her trust in everybody; nobody, it seemed, was true to her. She sat still, afraid to move. She was trying to read between the lines, but she knew she couldn’t see anything clearly anymore.
“I do love you,” he said.
Mimi sucked in her breath. “Then why are you about to leave the room?”
“Because I need you to be sure.”
“I am sure,” she protested.
She crossed the room, putting her arms around his waist.
Austin turned to her, his face diffi
cult to read. Mimi pulled him close to her. He didn’t resist but he didn’t hold her back.
“I wish I’d met you first. I wish this was just normal, but there are so many things to consider. I just don’t know how to handle any of this,” Austin said.
“Don’t leave me tonight. Please, just stay with me.”
He took her by the hand, leading her out into the brightly lit hallway, and closed the door of the guest room behind him.
“Are you sure it’s me you want and I’m not just the version of Joel that you crave?”
She lowered her head and then met his gaze. “I’ve never been surer.”
He took her by the hand and led her into his bedroom. Then he slowly moved toward her mouth and kissed her. She fell into him, letting out a sigh.
Letting Joel go had been hard. She had almost felt guilty, but now that she was once again in Austin’s arms, she felt safe, and she felt like she was home.
***
Mimi woke up next to Austin. He was already awake, his arms tightly wrapped around her.
“Hmmm, what time is it?” she asked, her voice throaty from sleep.
“Just past 10 a.m.,” Austin said, pulling her tighter. She wasn’t sure where his body started and hers ended. She couldn’t seem to get any closer to him.
Austin stroked her left hand, noticing the whiteness of where her ring used to be.
It was all over. She had made her choice and she was now with Austin. In the light of day, things felt different to him. The heavy weight of Joel seemed to have been lifted and, for the first time, he saw hope and a future with Mimi.
“Cast comes off in a few days,” Mimi said. “I was thinking I’d like to go out today, away from the ranch. Maybe go out to lunch and do what normal couples do.”
“You mean you want me to take you on a date?” he said, his voice playful.
“Well, yes. Seems like we have leapt forward into what most couples would have in the depths of a serious relationship. I want to have some fun with my boyfriend, so yes, you can take me on a proper date.”
“Boyfriend!” he laughed. “Been a while since I was called that, but I like the sound of it, girlfriend.”
Till Death Us Do Part Page 22
