Anger rose within Tatum. “I’m not a hooker!”
“No,” she quipped. “You’re giving it away for free.”
“You don’t know anything about me.”
“I know all I want to,” her aunt said, “because you’re the same race-trading, sad girl you’ve always been. Forget it, Donald. There’s no help for her.”
Her uncle wasn’t listening. “What is wrong with you?” he questioned, again.
“Nothing.”
“Something has to be if you’re going to let a white man pimp you. All he’s going to do is pump you full of babies and leave you high and dry.”
“Yeah, ‘cause no respectable brother will want anything to do with you,” Tyrone boasted.
“Amen to that.” Uncle Donald clapped.
Tatum’s body trembled. Every conceivable emotion whipped through her like a tornado. Bitterness, resentment and rage forced old wounds open. She’d fooled herself into believing that things had changed.
She stood and walked around her uncle. Her grandmother took her seat.
“Tatum.” It was her grandmother who called her name.
She turned back. Tatum didn’t want to, but she had to out of respect.
Her grandmother took a long time to speak. It was like agony. However, she waited. “Answer me this,” her grandmother said. “You want to play around with them white boys, but have you thought about the children?”
Tatum sighed. These were the same old arguments. They’d never changed.
She answered, “I have. Nothing is wrong with biracial children.”
“Nothing’s wrong,” her grandmother repeated angrily. “How in the hell—”
Tatum’s aunt rushed to her mother’s side. “Mama, remember your blood pressure.”
“I’m gonna say this.” Her grandmother waved her daughter’s concerned hand away from her shoulder. “You haven’t thought about the children. If you had, you wouldn’t want some half-cracker children. It’s not natural.”
“Get your nasty, race-trading ass out of here,” her aunt yelled. “You’ve upset Mama.”
“No.” Tatum replied before she realized it. But she wasn’t the one talking. There was also the little girl inside her who had gone through so much in her life. The one who knew the freedom to love. To mature. She was the one who needed to speak. She’d earned the right to.
Uncle Donald grabbed Tatum’s arm to escort her out. Tatum wrenched her arm away. She wasn’t finished talking.
“All of you should be ashamed of yourself,” she screamed. “I’m not some subhuman. Just because I find some white men attractive, that doesn’t make me a bad person.”
“The hell it doesn’t,” Uncle Donald yelled back.
“Is it better that I waste any old black’s man time?” She recalled the discussion at her party. “I can marry a black man and still be miserable. He could still be miserable.”
“Blacks stay with blacks,” Tyrone asserted. “That’s the way it’s supposed to be.”
“This is ridiculous. I’m not a bad person because I have an open mind. Myra agrees with me. She’s dated a white man before.” Tatum pointed at her supporter. Her cousin had done the same thing she’d done. Myra would defend her.
Everyone’s attention turned to the corner of the room. Myra leaned against the wall, staring at Tatum.
“Is that true?” Uncle Donald questioned his daughter.
Myra stood erect and uncrossed her arms, taking her time to answer. Then, she made eye-contact with her father. “I don’t know what Tatum’s talking about. I don’t do that sort of thing.”
Tatum gasped, shocked. She searched her memories. She knew she’d drank a lot at the party, but she remembered the conversation. Myra had said it. Tatum knew she had.
Glancing around the room, Tatum sought out her supporting cousins. Anita sat on loveseat. Anita had agreed with her mother, but she’d also understood her side.
“You were at the party.” She pointed at Anita. “You said you didn’t know what all the hysteria was about.”
“I’m not getting into this mess.” Anita waved her left hand.
Tatum watched her cousin leave the room. Reggie sat on the couch. She pointed to him, but her voice faltered when Reggie looked at the floor. Her greatest supporter wouldn’t help her. She was officially on her own.
Her uncle spoke. “You’re pitiful. Don’t you dare try to bring people down with you.”
“The Lord will strike you dead,” her grandmother said. “God doesn’t like ugly, and you’re the ugliest kind.”
“You need to leave,” her aunt remarked.
“Wait.” Tyrone held up his hand like he was trying to stop her. “You think that master of yours could get me a job at the club?”
“I will meet you all in hell,” Tatum exploded. “Because you’re all joining me.”
“Don’t you talk like that in my house,” her grandmother screamed. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
“I am what you made me!” Tatum’s body shook. “All of you sit there and act like you’re better than me. You’re not. You are nothing but—”
“Get out.” Uncle Donald grabbed her arm again. She wrenched it away.
“Take a good look at me. You did this to me. All I wanted to do was be free to love whoever I wanted, but it wasn’t good enough for you. Who the hell are you?”
No one said anything. Tatum wanted an answer.
She cried out again, tears streaming down her face, “Who the hell do you think you are?”
“I’m not having a conversation with you,” her aunt told her, “until you quit having a hysterical fit.”
“No, you will never control me again.” Tatum’s tears felt hot against her face. “You have ruined my life enough with your accusations and nasty remarks. It is my right to love any man I want.”
“It’s your right, but it’s not right,” Uncle Donald shouted, unaffected by the tears.
“Who says it’s not right? You know what? Seth may be an asshole, and frankly he’s a jerk, but he loves me.”
“You’re—”
“Shut up.” She glared at her aunt. “I’m not finished. It’s because of you that I won’t allow myself to love him. Your damn voices race through my head, always warning me. I know I shouldn’t care, but I do because you all have programmed me. You sit here and berate me until I feel like I’m the bad person.”
“You are,” her grandmother told her. “We have pride about ourselves. We’re not going to let white men use us like sex objects.”
“I am not the bad person here. You hear me, you old bat?” She didn’t care that she was talking to her grandmother. “I am a real person with real feelings. I deserve to be love and respected. Something you’ve never done.”
Her grandmother shook her head. “I have done everything in my power to show you the way. White men will hurt you.”
“Do you know that? Have you been in an interracial relationship?”
“I wouldn’t let a white man touch me.”
“Then you can’t say anything.”
Her grandmother dismissed her with a wave. “Go ahead. When he’s taken you for everything, don’t come crawling back here. I’m through with you.”
“Then you were never a real grandmother to begin with.” Her grandmother was insulted, but Tatum didn’t care. “All I wanted from you and my parents was support. You weren’t supposed to badger me with your opinion but be there for me. I knew I was going to face pain from the outside world, but you all were supposed to be there for me.”
Tatum waited for her grandmother to respond. She didn’t.
She wiped the flowing tears from her face and tried to force her body to stop trembling.
She felt a nudge that made her jump and turned to find Myra behind her. She’d pushed her coat and purse toward her. Myra didn’t make eye contact when she told her, “You should go now.”
Tatum accepted her belongings. She couldn’t believe how foolish she’d been. To think th
at things had changed was laughable. She blamed herself. She should have seen it coming.
She didn’t put on her coat. She knew it was freezing outside, but the heat inside made the cold welcome. However, she couldn’t leave without telling them one more thing.
She stared at every last one of them. “You all owe me a childhood. I should have never been called the things you’ve called me through the years. A child should never have to fight enemies within her own family.”
Seth had an urge to drive to Hamilton and surprise his mother for Thanksgiving. He was lonely and needed someone familiar and loving. The thought surprised him, however. The same time last year, he would have simply sought some equally lonely soul.
This year was different. Tatum had changed his outlook on love and romance. Most women made it their job to change their man, but Seth doubted if Tatum had intentionally tried to change him. After all, she was too busy running away from him.
The phone rang and he checked the caller I.D. It was Gabby.
He winced like someone had stabbed him in the gut. He regretted Gabby. The “urge to merge” was what had gotten him in this mess.
He wished he was eating his mother’s home cooking with Tatum by his side. He needed her more than he needed to breathe. Seth didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at that thought, but he at least knew what it meant. Bachelorhood wasn’t the life anymore.
Seth finished making his turkey sandwich and threw it on the plate with the side dishes. This was Thanksgiving. He’d been invited to a lot of places, mostly by some business partners he knew, but Seth had opted out of the parties and dinners.
He thought about his father as he sat on his couch in his apartment. Years ago, they would rehash the football games while his mother complained how they never helped. It wasn’t the games Seth missed, but the time he spent with his father.
His parents had asked for only one thing in life; they’d wanted him to graduate from college. Seth had tried, but he hadn’t really given it a chance. He could have probably fit school somewhere in the equation, but he hadn’t wanted to. He had to follow his vision. Now, he had plenty of money but no parents.
Seth reached for the phone on the table before he realized it. He’d never been a man to hesitate, and he wasn’t going to start now. He dialed his mother’s number and waited for her to answer.
His heart pounded in his chest. Come on, come on, pick up the phone. Seth could fire the Pope and not be fearful of going to hell. This should be easy, he said, trying to pump himself up.
Finally, his mother answered. There was a pause after she introduced herself then Seth began talking. “Uh, Ma, it’s me, Seth. I…”
“I’m not here right now, so leave a message and I will return your call.”
Seth, disappointed, waited for the beep. “Ma this is Seth. I’m calling to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. Uh…” He stopped, searching for something else to say. What did you tell a mother you hadn’t spoken to in years?
“I know we haven’t…seen eye-to-eye about certain things, but I want to try to…work things out.”
More silence. He wanted to kick himself for struggling to find something to say. Seth decided to give her both addresses and his telephone numbers before he ended the call. He threw the phone on the couch next to him.
“We’ll see,” he said out loud.
Chapter 17
“I’m not going to be in at all next week.” Tatum forced her voice to sound normal. “I have a family emergency. Adam, everything is where it should be, so don’t call. I won’t be here.”
Tatum hung up the phone and her shoulders slumped. She walked to her bedroom and prepared her bed. Her body throbbed. Her soul ached. Her mind was numb. She wanted to sleep forever.
She was tired of fighting and arguing. She’d spent her entire life fighting the wrong people. She’d had plenty of opportunities to love, but she’d never taken advantage of them. She wasn’t just the white men she’d dated, but the black men too. Sometimes she convinced herself to do what her family wanted her to do. To do the right thing. But she always ended up cheating.
She should have confronted her family a long time ago, but she didn’t feel the overwhelming joy she thought she would. She always thought she would feel victorious after this confrontation, when she imagined it in her mind. That it would be like a queen conquering the enemy.
Instead, she felt numb. All she wanted was to feel normal. She wished she knew what that was.
She needed Seth.
Turning off the lights, she settled in bed and wept. She lay in the fetal position and waited for the pain to go away.
“So when do you want me to come back to Score?”
He stared at Gabby but didn’t respond. She happily waited for his answer. She knew it was going to be soon. After all, Seth had said he loved her.
“Gabby,” he began, “do you trust me?”
“Yes,” she answered, hoping it was a marriage proposal. “With all my heart.”
“You’d agree that I make sound decisions?”
“Yes.”
He nodded. “Have you ever known me to second guess my decisions?”
Gabby shook her head. “No.”
“So, you know what I say goes without question?”
“Yes. You’re a great businessman and person.”
Seth clapped. “Good. Then you know that what I’ve been telling you is true. It’s over between us.”
Gabby, crushed, shook her head hard. She wasn’t hearing him correctly. He was talking about Tatum.
“Listen Gabby, we had a good time together, but we never had a future together. My future is with Tatum.”
“You’re lying.”
“You just said—”
“I know what I just said!”
Seth leaned forward. His stare was intense. “You have two choices. You can stay at one of the clubs or you can quit. I don’t care. But we’re not resuming anything.”
“You don’t understand,” she told him. “I love you more than anything. I can’t live without you.”
He stared at her. “That’s too bad.”
“You can’t be serious? You can’t be.”
“I am. Trust me, I am.”
Tears streamed down Gabby’s face and made her perfect makeup glisten. She hugged herself as her shoulders slumped. Slowly, her head moved forward until her chin hit the top of her chest. Gabby’s shoulders shook. Sounds of wounded cries broke the silence in the office as Gabby cried, then repeatedly gasped for air. After a long moment, Gabby’s stood erect. She stared at him as she wiped the tears from her face, her olive skin looked dull from the smudged makeup. Quickly, she tugged at her shirt like she was making sure there were no wrinkles. Gabby took a deep breath, then exhaled as she clenched her fists at her sides.
“You may leave now. Inform me of your decision in writing.”
She stood and walked to the door, where she stopped and told him, “I can sue.”
Seth shrugged. “Go ahead. Whatever Ralph doesn’t take, you can have.”
It was another Friday and she was back in his office again. Karla waited for her boss to smile at her before speaking. She didn’t know what this was about, but she was sure it was positive. She had brought in three new accounts this week, really surprising herself. Maybe it was the terrible Seth deal or Tatum’s horrible words running through her head. Either way, she wanted to prove herself to everyone.
Mr. Gault didn’t look at her. Instead, he concentrated on the papers in front of him. He looked uncomfortable. She guessed he’d never given out such a big bonus before.
“I wanted to begin by saying that you are a tremendous asset to our team. You have done a superb job with the firm.” He finally made eye contact. “But we’re going to have to let you go.”
Karla was still smiling. She’d heard the words, but they didn’t register.
She laughed. “Excuse me?”
“You know Ohio is an At-Will state. It means I have the right to fire you witho
ut cause, but I’ll let you know the reason. You made an inappropriate deal with a potential client.”
“We discussed that.,” she frantically told him. “I said I didn’t take his offer.”
“I know. It was a character test. I wanted to see if you would admit the truth.”
“Whose truth? Did Seth call you? How about Tatum Fox? Are you taking her word over mine?”
“The secretary is boxing your belongings and she will meet you in the lobby. You don’t need to worry about giving back your security pass. It has already been deactivated.”
Karla jumped from her seat ready to fight. She knew if she said the right things, she could save her job.
She opened her mouth to speak but then shut it. It was over. There was nothing she could say that would change his mind. It wasn’t the lie that had gotten her in trouble lying about it. If she’d known the truth would keep her job, she would have shouted it from the rooftops.
Seth walked into his lawyer’s office expecting to go another round with Tatum. He scratched his head when he didn’t see her. Adam, sitting in her place, was talking nonstop on the phone. Once he realized he wasn’t alone, the lawyer pointed at a chair, motioning for him to sit down.
Something wasn’t right. He felt it in his gut.
Seth grew agitated as he waited for Adam to end the conversation. Maybe she was sick or injured. Now, he was expecting bad news.
“Sorry about that.” Adam slammed the phone receiver down. “It’s been crazy around here.”
“Where’s Tatum?”
“She called over the weekend and said she wasn’t coming in.”
Seth did a double take. “That’s odd.”
Adam agreed. “I know.”
“So,” Seth thought out loud, “a week would have been last Friday. This is Tuesday.”
“I know what day it is,” Adam said.
“She hasn’t called?”
“No.”
Seth bolted out of his chair, livid. “You haven’t checked on her?”
“I called, but on the message she said she wouldn’t be there.”
The Score Page 17
