by M. Van
A hand brushed my arm. My head shot up, and I found Ash staring at me through narrowed eyes. The little color that had once been in her face had dissipated. A thin film of skin seemed to cover her skull, but her eyes, although all kinds of distraught, were still bright blue.
“I don’t wanna die,” she croaked, her words barely audible. I took her hand in mine, curious about her choice of words, especially after the stunt she had pulled, but I didn’t voice it.
“You won’t.”
I moved to the edge of the couch where her head rested and eased her up by the shoulders. She leaned into my arms, fighting tears until her sobs came in hiccups. Her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath. I stroked my hand over her fuzzy hair.
I knew she wouldn’t turn. Everyone I had watched become infected had a shift in his or her eyes within seconds. Probably even Emily, I just hadn’t known what to look for. Those milky white eyes haunted me in my sleep, but there was no sign of that in Ash’s gaze. Emily, Elizabeth, the tall blond flight attendant, they had gone brain-dead in a matter of seconds. All of them except the old man in the office at the airport. Maybe that had something to do with the cut on his wrist being very small, confirming what that lieutenant on the Beltway had said. With Ash’s injury, the turn would have been imminent.
It wasn’t the zombie infection that worried me. Her leg looked bad, and I was afraid I’d lose her because of it. She grabbed a handful of my shirt and buried her face in my chest. At least she wouldn’t be in any pain.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She kept repeating it. It struck me hard. My heart ached for this kid, whose pre-zombie life probably hadn’t been much better than what it was now. I couldn’t bear to hear her apologize to me.
“Shh, it’s okay,” I whispered in her ear. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” My arms held her tight. When she calmed down, I wasn’t sure whether she had passed out, but her raspy breaths kept me hopeful, and I closed my eyes.
Dusk had set in when I awoke. There was enough light in the room to see Ash was still Ash. The white bandage around her leg had turned bright red. It felt like a punch in the gut. She wouldn’t turn, but I would lose her anyway. Tears started to flow. I let them run their course. She breathed shallowly as I held her tight. Was this how my mom had felt, sitting by my bed? Not once in ten years had she given in, no matter how hard I’d pushed her away. Maybe this was my punishment for having made it worse for my parents than just having a kid dying of cancer. God, I wished I could beg my family for forgiveness.
A startling knock on the door took me to full alert. I scooted out from underneath Ash and gently placed her head on the couch. Another knock made me grab Ash’s gun off the kitchen table when I heard William’s voice.
“Mags, you still in there?” he said from the other side of the door.
“What do you want?” I asked. Anger bubbled in my gut. My voice was hoarse, but it gave it an extra edge.
“Thank God,” he said. “I’ve brought help.”
“Help for what?”
“For Ash, of course.”
“I’m not going to let you shoot her,” I said. Pissed off, I wiped the tears from my eyes. The hoarseness and determination in my voice built my confidence. “You’ll have to come through me.” William had made his point quite clear. I didn’t know whether I could trust him.
“Mags,” said a voice that I didn’t recognize. “My name is David Warren. I am a physician, and I can help you if you let us in.”
I shook my head in confusion. William knew how a bite worked, and a doctor would know for damn sure.
“Why?” I said. Unsure what to do, my confidence dwindled.
“Listen, Mags,” David said, “I know Ash didn’t turn. From what William told me, it would have been instantaneous with a wound as substantial as hers. I can help her.”
My uncertain eyes fell on Ash. The fragile, shivering body on the couch told me I didn’t have much choice.
With the gun raised, I turned the doorknob. I took up a position behind the kitchen counter as William entered in his football outfit, joined by a shorter man in black leather pants and jacket. A full-faced motorcycle helmet protected his head. He raised his hands when he saw my gun. David lifted his visor to glance at Ash and the medical supplies I had dumped on the coffee table. They had been leftovers from the hospital but hadn’t done much good in my hands.
“I hope you don’t mind if I don’t get too comfortable, but you go right ahead,” I said, holding a firm grip on the gun.
“It’s okay, Mags. David is a good man,” William said when he shrugged off some of his uniform. At the same time, David removed his helmet. Although he wasn’t George Clooney, the man had a kind face and short dark hair. A few lines creased around his eyes that made me guess early-forties. I could buy that people would turn to him for medical help, and he didn’t waste any time. He threw his jacket on my recliner and grabbed a pair of rubber gloves from the box I had snagged from the hospital. With approval, he glanced over the other supplies I had gathered.
Ash stirred, and I rushed to her side but kept the gun close. I took her hand as I explained what was happening. She eyed the two men and then nodded wearily. David removed the bandages. Ash’s mouth fell open in shock. A wide gash spread across her calf. The flesh was mangled in several places with bite marks surrounding the wound and lots of blood.
“Hey, hey, look at me,” I said. I turned her head to face me. Her eyes filled with tears. I wiped them from her cheeks as I guided her down on the couch.
“Try to relax,” I whispered with a stroke on her head. I looked up to see David wiggle a syringe at me. I nodded. Although I knew she wouldn’t feel the pain, I felt more comfortable if she were out, and I figured if these men wanted to harm us, there’d be easier ways to do it.
David seemed to know what he was doing. His dark eyes grew big with an uncanny fascination. When he finished, my unwillingness to relax eased. William sipped the tea I had made while he ravaged a box of cheese crackers.
“Will she be okay?” I asked, my voice a whisper as David removed his gloves.
“It is not as atrocious as it looked, but she lost a lot of blood,” he said as he moved to the sink. “The next few hours will tell.”
I watched him wash his hands and rinse his face before I handed him a towel.
“Would you like some tea or something to eat?” I asked David, feeling nerves jitter up. I wasn’t sure whether it was because I felt ashamed I hadn’t trusted them, or whether I still didn’t trust them.
“You wouldn’t happen to have any coffee?” he asked. I looked at William and raised an eyebrow. William laughed and shook his head.
“You’re a lucky man,” I said, “I happen to know this guy, and he set me up.” David glanced at William and smiled.
“Really, me too,” he said, “but maybe I should take a look at you first.”
Dr. David patched up my leg and the cut on my neck. It stung like hell when he removed the pellets. After he finished, I made some sandwiches along with the coffee. As they ate, David explained he had only recently taken up refuge in the neighborhood. He had run into William on a scavenger run. They’d been looking out for each other ever since, and they wouldn’t mind adding some amiable people to their tiny circle. I tried to be attentive and listen to their stories. Though I was grateful, my mind kept pulling away from the conversation, and I kept glancing over to Ash.
Well past midnight, Dr. David seemed satisfied enough to leave. He told me Ash was stable. William had finished his second box of cheese crackers, but the size of the man told me they would never satisfy him. As we would say in Dutch, it would have barely filled one of his teeth. I handed him an extra box for the road. I asked whether I had or could do anything to repay them. They both shrugged it off.
“I found some Tamiflu in your stash. It’s antiviral. Make sure she takes those, just in case, and keep her hydrated. I’ll come back tomorrow afternoon,” David said before
he made his way down the steps. “It was nice to meet you.”
“It was good to meet you,” I said, a little overeager, but I meant it. I wished them a safe trip and closed the door behind them.
The second I killed the lights I felt the energy drain from my body. Standing in the dark, thoughts and feelings started to collide. I used the recliner to hold myself steady and caught my breath. I inched toward the couch, where I collapsed onto the floor. My head resting on the couch, I closed my eyes. A whole mixture of feelings and thoughts rushed through my mind, but I felt too tired to acknowledge them. It didn’t take me long to leave this day behind.
| 22
A hand on my head forced my eyes open, and I blinked at the sight of Ash’s frail face.
“Finally,” I said. She looked weak, but her dry lips cracked a smile. With the room dark, a glance at the clock told me four hours had passed since David and William had left.
“Finally what?” she asked, her voice a croak. As I sat up, my bones and muscles ached from hunkering down on the floor.
“That for once you listened to me and didn’t die.” She grinned, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“For now,” she said with a shrug. I swiped a hand over her head in a pretend smack.
“Don’t you even dare make me go through that again,” I said. Strain had settled in my voice. Relief lifted my heart, but my nerves refused to indulge.
To divert my attention, I asked, “Do you need anything?” I stretched my legs, got up from the ground, and winced when the weight shifted to my wounded leg. David had fixed it as best he could, but it still stung.
“You okay?” Ash asked.
“I got shot,” I said as I sat down on the coffee table and handed her a glass of water.
“I got noshed on by a zombie,” she said with a slight smirk on her face. I shrugged when she sipped the water.
“Meh, been there, done that.”
Ash looked frail as hell. I wished I could do more. I maneuvered to get up when she grabbed my hand. I turned to consider her. The scared kid wavered in her tough facade, fighting the tears threatening to breach the dam.
Fighting my own tears, I watched her, but her eyes dropped to the floor. Without a word, careful not to disturb her leg, I crawled between her and the couch. I tucked us in and held her around the waist, so she wouldn’t fall off.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” I said as I pressed my forehead to the back of her head. She nodded without a word.
“Don’t you dare do anything stupid like that again, okay?” I whispered. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“I won’t,” she replied. As pissed as I was at her stupidity, I didn’t want to make her feel worse than she already did. She grabbed a handful of my sleeve.
“Thanks for not ditching me.” Her voice caught. I had to swallow hard before I could answer.
“We’re in this together, you know,” I whispered. She tightened her grip on my sleeve.
“I know,” she said. She shifted to her side. Afraid of what to read in her reply, I closed my eyes.
I jerked awake, afraid of a repeat of the day before. My heart hammered inside my chest as the sun lingered high in the sky. My muscles relaxed when I found Ash by my side, taking in strong, deep breaths. I sighed in relief. I wouldn’t know what I would do if I’d lost her. She had saved my life, chosen to accompany me, although, perhaps, with different intentions than I might have thought at first. That bite on my shoulder had healed, but it had isolated me. Anyone who saw it would know what it was. No one would accept me, except for Ash. The fact that David the doctor and William the football player had ignored it with such ease when it had come to Ash had baffled me, but I knew it wouldn’t be the consensus. The bites meant neither of us would ever be able to join the communities within the military-protected confines. With Ash, I didn’t feel the need to join those communities, but she couldn’t pull a stunt on me like yesterday’s again. It would break me.
“What are you thinking?” Ash’s soft voice broke into my thoughts.
“That I don’t feel like thinking,” I said. “How are you feeling?” With a sigh, she turned to face the ceiling as if she had to think about it.
“Alive.” I prodded myself up on an elbow to look past her at the empty bucket. Not that there could have been much in her stomach after last night, but the sight made me smile. I squeezed her arm and shimmied out from behind her.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“Hungry?”
Ash nodded, and I made my way to the kitchen. I rubbed a hand over my eyes when I witnessed the crime scene. The kitchen was a mess after last night, with blood-soaked bandages, towels, and gloves. I opened a can of Mello Yello and brought it over to the coffee table as Ash sat up. I looked at her a bit curiously.
“You do look better,” I said and checked her bandage. Some blood seeped through the white cloth, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as yesterday. She seemed miles away as she stared at the empty spot next to the couch.
“Did we lose the wheelchair?” she asked hesitantly. I shook my head.
“I doubt anyone will take it. I’ll go get it later.”
The question made me feel hopeful and desperate at the same time as I returned to the kitchen. Would she still try to get out? Was the fear I saw yesterday about dying or about becoming a zombie? I shook my head to push the thought from my mind.
My empty plate clanked when I set it down on the coffee table, and I watched Ash eat. It was good to see her scrape the last bits with her fork, but when she ran a tongue over her plate, that sight was disgusting. When someone knocked on the door, I was surprised it didn’t make me jump. With no intention of being stupid, though, I grabbed Ash’s gun off the counter.
“It’s David,” the muffled voice of the doctor spoke before I could ask. I looked through the peephole and saw he was on his own. I tucked the gun into the waistband of my pants to open the door.
“Hello,” he said as he flipped open his visor and stepped inside the room. “I came to check on our patient.”
“There she is,” I said and pointed. “Ash, I don’t know if you remember, but this is David. He treated your leg yesterday.”
She eyed me warily before she turned to David. He removed his helmet and gloves and extended a hand. She inspected it for a second, and then took it.
“Hiya and thanks, I guess,” she said. Her gaze dropped to her lap, she didn’t seem eager to face him.
“You’re welcome.”
He sat down on the coffee table as he said, “Do you mind if I take a look?” David moved over to her leg when Ash shrugged. She shifted another wary glance from him to me. I didn’t really know what that look meant. She shook her head with a sigh when I frowned at her. I guessed I’d find out later.
After I’d made some coffee, I sat down in the recliner to watch David redress Ash’s leg.
“David,” I asked hesitantly, “what made you show up here yesterday?” He remained silent and finished redressing the leg. Ash raised an eyebrow at me before her gaze followed David as he stood. He forced his hands into the pockets of his tight leather pants. He shifted uneasily from foot to foot as his gaze swept the carpet.
“I wanted to see whether I could help,” he said. “I’m a doctor.”
“Yeah, but why would you think to try?” I replied and narrowed my eyes at him. “There is no information about immunity, not on the Internet, not on TV.”
“The change is quick. William said Ash didn’t show the symptoms,” David said. Ash remained uncharacteristically silent as she watched him.
“I’ve seen cases where the virus didn’t take,” he added. David’s eyes darted across the room. I got up out of the chair to wedge myself next to Ash on the couch. He caught my gesture, went to sit in the chair, and took his cup of coffee from the table. He stared at it as a fortuneteller would examine the remaining tea leaves in the bottom of a cup, and then he switched his gaze to the floor.
“Really, where?” I as
ked.
“I don’t know why, but whatever is happening to those people outside, this virus or whatever it is, it doesn’t take on everyone, nor on you two for that matter,” he said.
At that, I reached a whole new level of discomfort. He mentioned both of us, but he couldn’t have known that a zombie had taken a bite out of me. For a second he looked up, and I saw a struggle behind his eyes that raised the hairs on the back of my neck before his gaze shifted back to the floor. I followed his gaze. Had he lost something? When he caught my stare, David’s body twitched as if he’d snapped out of a daydream. He drank his coffee and stood. I wondered if he had registered what he had said. When he looked at me, his face aimed for casual, but his eyes demonstrated shock as they flickered around the room. The uneasiness inside me reached new heights.
“You’re not from around here,” he said, addressing me.
I glanced at Ash before I answered him. “No, we’re not.” Tension rose in the room. I couldn’t tell whether it was just me. He narrowed his eyes and cocked his head as if he were waiting for a more explicit answer that I didn’t think I wanted to give.
“Ash is clearly Brooklyn, but you I can’t place —maybe European.” My mouth wanted to say I was a tourist though my mind refused to share. Ash came to my rescue.
