by Anika Rahman
“Absolutely not and no. And really, you think I would lie to you? Of all people?” he laughed, leaning in a little closer to me from across the table.
“No you’re not a psychopath or no that you’re not some sort of a god?” I retorted, my pulse racing by now as I leaned in closer to him. Just being near James made my thoughts ambiguous and me lightheaded.
“No, I’m not a psychopath,” James said as a matter of factly. Then that probably means that he’s a god or something. Yeah, sure he’s a god, I’m a mermaid, Maddie is Miss Piggy and Mark is SpongeBob. Maybe we can all go to Heaven and put on a show.
“That also doesn’t mean that I’m a god or anything. You thought that I was a superhero, but I’m not. What if I tell you right now that I am not the good guy in the picture, not the protagonist and somewhat of an antagonist?” My head snapped up to meet his gaze once more as he explained. The bad guy? What is he talking about? So . . . he’s some sort of a devil if he’s not a god?
“I could be a good guy or the bad guy, but it’s up to you to decide on that. If you think, with enough evidence that I’m the bad guy and you want nothing to do with me, then I promise I’ll keep my distance. If you’re convinced that I’m the good guy and you want me to be a part of your life, then I’ll stay and be your friend or something,” James said as if he was giving me two choices to choose from if I had to die this exact second. I press my lips into a thin line and looked down, trying to think things over.
“Please say something, anything. You can scream at me or get up and about and punch me or just tell me to go away, I’ll go away. Just say the word, Rosemarie, please,” he importuned. I’m flabbergasted that he used my name, although, I desired to be called Rose as an alternative for Rosemarie. I hid my shock and kept my face void of all emotions.
“So what is it precisely that you’re offering me?” I managed to say, still a bit shaky. This guy could be an executioner for as long as I know. Disappointingly, he had seen my nervousness and how hard it was for me to even manage to say those words.
“I—,” James managed to say before Maddie started bellowing at Mark.
“Alright! I can’t take it anymore. Listen to me Mark; you are a snobbish air head. I don’t know if anyone told you this, which I’m certain a lot of people did, but I hate you and you . . . just . . . get the hell out of my life, okay? And no, it was not very pleasant to meet you. You are very annoying and I don’t know why on earth I ever agreed to do this—this . . .,” Maddie droned, while I revolved my attention back to James who was still ogling at me.
“I am so sor—,” I started, but he hastily blue-penciled me off.
“We’ll chat later. I promise,” James reassured me, putting his hand over mine, a gesticulation that I kind of found consoling despite the happenings going on nearby us. I nodded before hastily gathering my possessions and going up to Maddie to tranquil her and get her out of here. If we remained here one more second, she’d probably try to gag Mark to bereavement.
“I am so sorry Mark that my blon— I mean Maddie here has been so harsh on you,” I quickly apologized to Mark before elbowing Maddie.
“No! I will not apologize to this arrogant¬—,” I cut her off before she can utter the next few words she had in mind, grabbing her by the arm, quickly waving a goodbye to James as he amiably responded to me and bequeathed a demise glare in Maddie’s direction. Before leaving, I could’ve affirmed that I saw Mark looking at Maddie in a way which was pervaded with affection. On the other hand, James still ogled at me, easily getting on my nerves.
I was erroneous. If I had stayed one more second, I would’ve attacked James just like Maddie would’ve done with Mark. As I hauled Maddie away from the library, parting from all the trepidation, I also, by hook or by crook, left behind all my chances of ever receiving the real certainties about James. I didn’t know where I was going until I bumped into a petite woman.
“Oops, sorry dear,” Mrs. Lauren apologizes, cutting off Maddie’s protests. “Ah, Rosemarie, where have you been? Have you chosen yet? Is he here? Oh God, I swear, you two are going to get your way someday. You and Adr—,” Mrs. Lauren babbled on and on about something very confusing while I stared at her, dumbfounded.
“Mrs. Lauren now is not the time. NO, the Choosing hasn’t happened yet. He hasn’t showed up yet either. He told me that he had to take care of a few things before coming here,” Maddie explained while I looked at them both as if they’d just grown two more heads.
“Okay, what are you two talking about?” I asked as both of them immediately shut up, Mrs. Lauren had that look of concern written across her face. Maddie gave her a look that told her, don’t you dare mention any of this to her or I will do something that both of us will regret, while Mrs. Lauren looked at her as if saying, I understand. This is better off for all three of us if we pretend this never happened.
“Nothing, dear. I thought you were someone else,” she said quickly before heading off to her library. Something about the way she spoke told me that she was lying. And on top of that, she said, Rosemarie, where have you been? I tried to take my mind off things and continue to walk to my locker, far away from those freaks, far away from the happy place, far away from this hellhole. I wish I didn’t have to come back to this place again and again. And again.
chapter 3
begin again
It’s been over a whole week since the proceedings in the library. Ever since then, I have encountered neither James nor Mark. I don’t really care if I never see Mark again, but I really just want to at least bump into James once in a while. He wasn’t in Biology today so I was partnered with Krystal, my arch-nemesis.
Krystallia Janine Diamond is my blonde arch-nemesis. She was about 5 feet 7 inches with a head full of blonde hair. I hate being stereotypical because it reminds me of James, but blonde really complements Krystal. She is what you may call a very leaden light bulb. She’s not as bright as a light bulb. Since my initial day in school, she has been discovering every way there is possible to make me despondent. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t. I really didn’t know why Krystal hated me so much. I’ve never done anything to her. Sticking to her like a clingy bathing suit was her best friend Kira.
Kiersten Charlotte Ryan, also known as Kira, was Krystal’s other blonde friend. I swear that they both would have passed as part of the blonde squad or something. I’m not trying to insult blondes out there, but Krystal and Kira were really . . . moronic. Kira was truly really pretty with her golden blond hair and those dark brown highlights that camouflaged with the rest of her hair. She had blue eyes and a purse full of makeup which she applied to her whole face every second. I wonder if she even has any space for her books. On the contrary, most of the guys go after Krystal. She has more than two boyfriends each week. It was even whispered that one of her boyfriends had lasted three whole months.
The Krystal in Biology class was kind of contradictory. She wasn’t even mean to me, not once. When I had asked her why, she had simply replied, “Look kid, your life is gonna turn upside down in the next couple of days. There is nothing I can do that would make your life any shoddier. So I’m just trying to be nice to you while I can.” I can’t believe she thinks that I’m gonna die in a few more days. Is she going to try to kill me? What did I do?
When I looked a bit wounded by that, she had added, “Listen to me, Rose. You’re not who you think you are. The ones that you think you can trust are truly the ones you can’t trust, not even the slimmest bit. Soon, someone will be approaching your life to transform the whole shebang. Any questions you have about your life will hopefully be answered.
“I may have given you reasons not to trust me in the past but take my advice and never, ever spontaneously trust anyone who you think you can just because they gave you ‘sweet talk.’ Everything is not what it seems. First, think about your decision. If you still can’t decide, go to your brother or your best friend. You can even come to me. Just . . . don’t die. We need you. We can’t
fail again. This is our moment to Claim what is rightfully ours and for you to Choose,” Krystal had said, looking very serious.
I didn’t know what that was about, but I didn’t want to know. She sounded as if she was telling me my prophecy. However, I still felt as if she was right. Maybe my life will be changed. Maybe the person she was talking about was James. Or maybe I’ll truly never know.
This whole week in school has been Regents week, meaning that it was the most important week in the whole school year. I was excited because all my teachers had exempted me from class since I knew all the topics we were learning about in class, to take my test previously. The principal, Mrs. Paige, had told me that I had to take the test early, so I can enjoy my surprise. When I had asked her about my surprise, she had merely replied with a “you’ll see.” I wonder what it’ll be. Will it be a whole week of vacation? I really, really needed one.
Now, the day of my surprise had come. Everyone was taking the test while I was heading towards Mrs. Paige’s office to redeem my lagniappe. When I had told Maddie about it, she had smiled a heartwarming smile and said, “You are one lucky girl. Please don’t go tough on him. He’s a very exceptional guy. Relish your “gift” while you can Rose. Good luck. He’s amazing and you’re lucky that he’s yours and yours only,” patting my cheeks. When Krystal had seen that, she had instantaneously come over and ruffled my hair as if she was my older sister, wishing me luck. What was up with these people? They were acting like they can all foresee the future. And who was “him”? Since when did they both get so much wiser?
As I angled my way into Mrs. Paige’s office, I saw her behind her desk and a tall boy sitting across from her, his back towards me. When she saw me, she looked up and smiled. Why was everyone so jovial today?
“Oh, Rosemarie. Why don’t you come on in and take a seat right beside this lovely young man,” Mrs. Paige beckoned. I did as I was told, not bothering to look over at the boy sitting next to me. He was busying himself with something else.
“Rosemarie, this is a new student we’ve got in our school,” she said while I wondered what my surprise could be.
At last, the boy turned towards me and I turned towards him. Once I looked up, I thought that I would swoon. The boy was really tall, which I can tell even when he was sitting, and he had a slender and muscular figure. He wasn’t muscular enough to look fat like some guys do. He was svelte, but not scrawny like me. He had a head full of curly auburn hair which was absolutely bipolar. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a long sleeved, pale blue shirt which really bought out his aquamarine eyes. He was very cheeky and had dimples. Noticing my gaze, he smiled, which really deepened the dimples. I felt as if I had died and went to Heaven.
However, that’s not what made me almost faint. His eyes were the same blue-green as those in my flashbacks. Now that I looked at his face, he seemed oddly familiar. His eyes were like a pool of the most beautiful blue and green mixed together. He was really alluring, but I couldn’t avert my gaze from those eyes. They seemed to summon me nearer.
When I gasped, a look of shock and fear raced each other across those eyes. Despite that, he extended his hand towards me in a friendly gesture, still a bit apprehensive. Wait a second, is this my surprise? Did Mrs. Paige really get me a friend? Did she really think I was that unsocial? The smile on my face fell, replaced by an angry frown which made the boy upset.
“Hello Rosemarie. My name is—,” he started in his cute British accent, but I cut him off, knowing that it was rude but I have to do it.
“Ross, Adrian Ross,” I said, finishing off his sentence for him. How the heck did I know that? He appeared just as stunned as me.
“I’m sorry but have we met before?” I asked.
“No! I think I would remember meeting someone who looks just like a goddess. But, it is a pleasure to finally meet you. Mrs. Paige here wouldn’t stop droning on and on about you. She kept telling me how gorgeous you were,” Adrian smirked as I shook his hand. He held on to it a little longer than he should have. Slowly, he flipped my hand over and brushed his lips across my knuckles. This seemed to get some emotional look out of Mrs. Paige.
“Hope you’re not dissatisfied.”
“Not at all,” he grinned, looking all mischievous. He acted as if we were at couple counseling.
“Anyways, Rosemarie, I’ve requested for you to take your test earlier because of the surprise. This is your surprise. You get to elude class for this whole week and show Adrian around the whole school while sitting by him in each of his classes,” Mrs. Paige finished just as I glanced over at Adrian, who, I realized, was still staring at me. So is this the “special” fellow Maddie was speaking about? He doesn’t seem very extraordinary.
“A-All right,” I faltered.
“All righty then. Here is a copy of his schedule. Remember that he has almost the same classes as you so you won’t miss out on most of your notes in case you’re concerned about that. I’ve already informed all your teachers as well so no worries,” Mrs. Paige finished, dismissing us.
Adrian hurried past me and opened the door, stepping aside for me before he stepped out and then he shut the door. All I could see was now blue-green. His eyes were hurtfully beautiful. An image precipitously flashed across my mind. It was of that night, the night of the dreadful “accident.”
The last thing I remembered were those beautiful eyes of his, fear, love and dismay written in them. Holding onto that bit of memory, I smiled, knowing that he loved me and he was safe, and inhaled my last breath, a voice said in the back of my mind.
Both of the times, an image of the same pair of those blue-green eyes flashed across my mind. I quickly let it go before striding out into the hallway traffic.
As we toured through the hallway, all the contemplations seemed to slither in our direction. Some of them even gaped at us, finding it all problematic to consider. I tried to flout them but I could literally feel the burden of their gazes. Some of the girls winked at him and some of them looked as if they were about to faint. I don’t blame them; he is good-looking.
“How come all those girls are staring at me?” Adrian asked, completely unaware of what was going on.
“I think they already like you. You’re not from here are you?” I asked.
“Nope! I’m from England. You can be my teacher and teach me how to act like Americans,” He said, popping the “p” in the nope. I rolled my eyes. What did I do to deserve this?
Adrian was really tall; probably as tall as James thus, I had to look up to answer him. I really couldn’t stop thinking about him. I haven’t seen him the past whole week. As we approached our first and last class for the day, I ushered him to go ahead of me while I told the teacher about the new guy. Mr. Moore told me to sit next to him in Health class while James will be my Biology partner.
Surely before I sat down, James came over and kissed me roughly on the cheeks, making sure Adrian saw us like that. Then he quickly whispered a, “I promised you that we’ll talk later so we’ll talk later on this week” into my ear and stalked off. Alright, first the hug and now this, what do I do?
Adrian seemed a bit dismayed as he sat down next to me and at last, broke of the “staring contest” he was having with James across the room. Health class was exceedingly mind-numbing. We were learning about the right person to choose in our life and how to avoid being fooled by the wrong people. While I toyed with my pencil, Adrian stared at me and didn’t even pay courtesy to the teacher. Who was he, James junior? Couldn’t this get any worse?
“Mr. Ross, please stop gawking at Mrs. Ross and pay attention to your classmates,” Mr. Moore said while the class guffawed. Emotion rose up to my cheeks while I strained to befuddle myself with something else to do. Adrian still didn’t listen but Mr. Moore didn’t care.
“Mr. Ross, tell us about the first time you fell in love,” Mr. Moore said.
“Oh come on! We don’t want to be bored. Am I right people?” shouted Mark while the girls in the class yelled at him
to shut up. Well, some people seemed excited to find out.
“SILENCE! Go on Mr. Ross,” Mr. Moore said.
“Let’s see then. Okay!” Adrian said, turning to face me while I stared, intently into his beautiful eyes. I could sense James watching us but I didn’t care.
“The first time was a couple of months ago. She was a very appealing brunette who really didn’t know how to be unkind to anyone at all. She was really beautiful. I won’t tell you guys the name though ‘because I think it would be better that way. We were really happy the first seven months or so and we were joined at the hip. Okay, you guys probably took it the wrong way. It means that we were inseparable. It was the night before Christmas and we were going to the apartment we shared. I was driving while she had sat next to me.
“Then, a car collided with ours and we were both incapacitated very severely. The ambulance had come but I had refused to go because I sought to look for my Ro— I mean her. The doctors went onward to take the passengers from the other car. I looked everywhere to find her. I couldn’t. I lost consciousness at last, worn out,” He continued, still looking at me. Everyone in the class was listening to him, even Mark. His love life seemed so disheartening. Unfortunate girl.
“When I had convalesced from the coma, I thought that I had lost her everlastingly. I expended months trying to look for her. One day, I had seen her in the streets. I distraughtly desired to go to her but I thought I was fantasizing. She was dead, I had thought. I spent the next two months or so trying to shadow her and trying to make sure she was real. So, I relocated here to be with her and finally reunite with her. I found out that she goes to this school so I transferred here. I went to her older brother who told me that she had amnesia and she couldn’t remember anything from the accident and unfortunately, she couldn’t remember me. I tried to talk to her, trying to hint out who I am. Once she had recognition, I was concerned that she might remember everything all at once which was bad for her, according to the doctor. So I tried not to tell her anything and instead, I tried to befriend her.
