by Anika Rahman
“Oh, save it for someone who cares,” I retorted. He was suddenly taken aback and he loosened his grip on me. I took this opportunity to slip past him and away from his grasp. I walked into a wall; well, I thought it was a wall until it wrapped its arms around my waist and pulled me close to it. Apparently, it wasn’t a wall, just a deceiving fallen angel. I looked up and met his steady gaze.
“Wow! Ang—erm, I mean Rosemarie, you look so—,” James started but I used that same line I used on Lucifer to stop him.
“Save it for someone who cares,” I said, stopping him. Hurt clouded those beautiful baby-blue eyes of his and I almost regretted those words. Almost.
“Alrighty lovebirds, time to start our dance. This year, we are having alternating dances. Each of you will start off as a pair and as each song changes, you’ll all change partners,” Krystal said into the mic. Great, I was stuck with James.
“Remember folks, you all have to dance or else . . . you know . . .,” Kira giggled into the mic. This was even better. I wasn’t about to find out what would happen if I didn’t dance so I took James’ distraction for granted and slipped away from his embrace. What was even better was that now I was in Lucifer’s arms again. Two times a charm.
“Ah, we meet again, Rosie. So tell me, why did you run away from me before?” Lucifer said as he pulled me closer and closer to him until our face was mere centimeters away from each other’s. I tried to shift a little in his arms, but his grip on me was a bit too tight.
“Because you scare me,” I admitted as I gave up on all my escape plans and stopped fighting him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on which caused him to smile; he actually smiled a real smile. Lucifer looked even better when he smiled and I felt myself smile back, my anger melting away.
“I’m sorry Rosie; I just never meant to scare you or anything. I just wanted you all to myself. Will you forgive me?” Lucifer asked as all those hard features of his softened. The hard sparkle in his eyes softened as well and I felt as if I was in a trance.
“Yeah, I will accept your apology. Just a quick question though. What are you?” I asked, unable to stop those words from slipping away. Lucifer laughed. He pulled me even closer and hugged me. He nuzzled his face into my neck and I, probably in instinct, held onto him tighter, my grip on his neck tightening.
We stayed like that for about five minutes, just listening to the music which was pretty long.
“Lucifer?” I asked.
“Yeah?”
“Why are you so quiet?”
“I’m just thinking of a way to tell you something,” Lucifer responded as his lips moved against the skin on my neck, sending shivers throughout my body despite the amount of body heat in this room.
“What is it? You can tell me anything,” I said, surprising myself. It felt as if I’ve known him for a long time.
“It’s just- I love you, Rosie. I really do. I just wish I was here earlier to tell you that. Then, maybe, just maybe, you could’ve been all mine.”
“Umm . . .”
“It’s okay. I know that you don’t love me. I get it. I just wish I could . . .,” He trailed off. Instead of finishing his sentence, he leaned down to close the distance between us completely and as our lips connected, I felt warmth course through my body. I don’t know why but I kissed him back. He tried to part my lips with his and I let him. Before he could do anything else, he had to pull away.
“Lucifer, what are you?” I whispered, lightly touching his cheeks.
“Rosie, I am a—,” Lucifer started but was cut off by the beginning of the next song. I knew that he wasn’t ready to let me go but he had to. I melted into the crowd as James caught hold off me and instantly pulled me closer to him, that same warmth vibrating off him in waves.
“Hello, Rosemarie. It’s really nice to see you again. You look lovely,” James grinned from ear to ear. He looked as if he didn’t remember anything from our previous encounter.
“Yeah, nice to see you too,” I said as I wrapped my arms around him. James laughed as he buried his face in the crook of my neck, sighing. He still acted as if we were a couple. As much as I found that irritating, it kind of made me feel special.
James pulled away and smiled down at me.
“That’s because you are special, Ange—err, Rosemarie,” James said as he corrected himself. He was having a hard time not calling me angel.
“You can call me Angel again. You are definitely having trouble staying away from that nickname,” I smiled.
“Wanna know what else I have trouble staying away from?”
“What?”
“You,” he whispered seductively in my ear.
“Ummm . . .”
“Angel, I have a confession to make.”
“Ummm . . .”
“I love you, Angel. I still love you to this day. Will you please be mine again? Please?”
“Umm . . . James, I—,” I started, but my words were silenced by a pair of warm lips. Great, more kissing. What is up with people today? Unable to resist the longing, I melted into his kiss. We pulled back, both of us in dire need of oxygen.
“Angel, I have to warn you about something. Please, listen to me carefully. This is very important,” James started and I nodded. Before he could go on, Krystal announced that we have to change partners and I had to leave him.
Someone else caught me and we slipped into dancing mode but I couldn’t tell who he was. His face was covered by the mask. James and Lucifer were easy to recognize, but him, not so much.
“Wow, Roza. You look beautiful tonight,” Adrian breathed as realization dawned upon me.
“Thanks, Adrian,” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck and he instantly hugged me.
“Roza, can I ask you something? A lot of people told me that you had an accident before. Can I ask you to describe it please? If you don’t mind that is,” Adrian asked.
“Well, it was on Christmas Eve and . . .,” I started and before I knew, I had eventually told him my whole story. In the end, he gasped.
“You-you’re m-my,” Adrian stuttered as he took my face in his hands. I wonder what this was all about all of a sudden.
“You’re my Roza. It really is you. I’m not dreaming, am I? You’re here,” Adrian smiled as tears of joy slid down his cheeks. He bent down to kiss me and I don’t know why, but I kissed him back as if I just got him back from death. When we pulled away, I was filled with curiosity.
“Adrian, what are you talking about?” I asked. Before he could answer, the next “change” had to be done. I moved back muttering “No, no, no, no, no” under my breath. As I moved to stand about two to three feet away from Adrian, James and Lucifer joined them both. James was now in the middle with Adrian on the right and Lucifer on the left. I got the same image again. This time, it had more details.
There were three doors, each leading to a specific place. The middle one would lead you to Earth while the one on the right would lead you to Heaven and the one on the left would lead you to the Abyss. That was better known as Hell.
“Angel, don’t you want to be mine?” James asked, extending his hand towards me as the other two did the same.
“Rosie, don’t listen to him. You were meant to be with me. Come on now.”
“NO! Roza, don’t listen to any of them. They are all just a bunch of phonies. I am yours and you are mine. We were meant to be.”
“No! Angel, you are mine. Don’t you get it? You’re meant to be with me.”
“Won’t you be mine?” all three of them asked as their voices began to fade. They were all fighting over me. I couldn’t believe it. The next thing I knew, the room started to get darker and darker until all I could see was black. The last thing I saw was the trio heading over to catch me, but I was already out of their grasp.
I saw a picture of three doors for some reason. One door led to Heaven, located on the right side. Another door led to Earth and it was located in the middle while the third door led to Hell, located on the le
ft. As the picture faded, I saw Adrian, James and Lucifer lined up. Adrian was on the right side, James in the middle and Lucifer on the left, just like the door-thing picture. They were just so . . . similar and familiar, yet distant and different. Inside my mind ran a familiar poem:
Outside lives a girl with a smile that will brighten up the room,
Yet inside hides a girl with a frown full of despair . . .
The poem sounded as if someone one was singing it in my head rather than reciting it.
Outside lives a girl with eyes of joy that brings you to ease,
Yet inside hides a girl shedding tears of sadness . . .
The room was suddenly spinning around me.
Outside lives a girl with a beautiful laugh that’s contagious,
Yet inside hides a girl screaming her lungs out in unwanted anger . . .
I somehow had trouble breathing and my eyes had trouble focusing.
Outside lives a girl with the personality everyone envies,
Yet inside hides a girl full of insecurities and shame . . .
There was supposed to be some sort of message hidden in that poem. I couldn’t even pinpoint it.
Outside lives a girl who is fearless and tough,
Yet inside hides a weak girl who lives in fear . . .
Everything was starting to become blurry.
Outside lives a girl full of life,
Yet inside hides a girl full of pain, wanting to die . . .
I was completely aware of the trio watching me. I thought I saw Maddie trying to break out of Mark’s embrace.
Outside lives a girl with a perfect image,
Yet inside hides a girl with regrets and mistakes . . .
I felt my knees go weak. Now, everyone was watching me.
Outside lives a girl of innocence,
Yet inside hides a girl with tremendous guilt . . .
Where have I heard this poem before? It’s so . . . familiar.
Outside lives a girl with goals and aspirations,
Yet inside lives a girl lost in confusion . . .
At last, my knees gave out. This couldn’t possibly be happening to me again.
What you see on the outside is my personal disguise,
What hides underneath you can’t even begin to imagine . . .
Before the rest of the poem could finish, I was already consumed by the darkness. For some reason, I was conscious until the poem finished. It was almost as if the poem sucked away all my strength, leaving me in despair, confusion and darkness.
CHAPTER 10
A MATCH MADE IN HELL
Those hurtfully beautiful blue eyes danced in front of me, taunting me in every way possible, but I didn’t give in. I couldn’t give in now. I came this far to finding out the truth about him.
“Remember, once you’re mine, there is no going back,” he said, taunting me again. If I gave in now, I could never go back. I could never save those I love. Should I give in? Should I give him the satisfaction of my failure? I can always save the others by giving my life up. It had no real meaning, ever.
“C’mon, it’s not that hard to make the decision,” he said again, trying to hug me, but I stepped back and away from his cold grasp.
“There is not a single place in this world where you can hide from me. Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo,” he said once again, disappearing completely out of my sight. With him went my hopes of ever freeing those I loved. I thought that I loved them until now. What is love? There truly isn’t an answer for it. He came over to me and took my face in his hands very roughly. He forced my gaze upon him and I obeyed. Then he told me something that would be glued to my brain forever.
“Remember this: Everyone has a little bit of God in them. The part that allows them to love unconditionally. If you can see God in anyone in the world, then you truly love them from the bottom of your heart. Do you see your God in me? Am I the kind of person who has God in him? Is it possible to love someone like me?”
* * * * *
I gasped as I opened my eyes wide, my face filled with tears. What was that nightmare? I was probably hallucinating. It took a while for my eyes to adjust to my surroundings but once I looked around, I saw that I was back in my room with Adrian, James and Lucifer arguing on the balcony.
“Way to go Prince Charming. You completely freaked her out. What did you tell her? Or did she just look at your face and freak out really badly? I know I would,” Lucifer snorted as James elbowed him hard. Both Adrian and James turned to glower at him.
“What?” Lucifer demanded.
“Vince, you sure you didn’t give away too much information? You know what would happen if you do, right? We can’t risk that. She’s our only hope. My plan would’ve gone perfectly fine if Albert Einstein hadn’t been interfering so much,” James said as he looked over at Maddie who I just noticed.
“Hey! I was trying to help out my best friend,” Maddie protested but James waved her off.
“Seriously, if Satan hadn’t interfered, nothing would’ve happened,” James said.
“Hey! The Satan you’re talking about, you Lord, is standing right here,” Lucifer scolded.
“I mean, he started to ask her out and then when she turned him down, he began to threaten her. What a devil, man. Please, mid the pun,” James kept droning.
“Again, right here,” Lucifer said, indicating him.
“You WHAT?! Are you out of your tiny little devil mind? She’s mine. All mine. All of you know that. You little fuc—,” Adrian started as he turned red. He was probably seeing red too.
“Language, Vince. Anyways, he did threaten Angel,” James said.
“Will you stop it already with that ridiculous nickname?” Adrian scolded as I began to realize that Vince was his nickname from James.
“Angel seems to find it very . . . romantic. The nickname suits her, don’t you think? Plus, she loves the nickname; almost as much as she loves me. I think she loves me more than anything else on Earth. Don’t you think so too? Angel is just so, so . . . hot and all. I love her so much. The way she kisses me. The way she says she loves me. The way she looks up to me in a way she doesn’t look at anyone else. The way she shies away once we’re done kissing. The way her cheeks flush when I flirt with her and all,” James started as he arched an eyebrow.
“She doesn’t really love you, you know that. You did all of that as an act to protect her,” Adrian said as his face started to fill with impassive anger.
“Well, most of it was an act. Hey, relax. It’s not like I’m going to elope with her to get married and have kids or anything. Although, that idea is not so bad after all,” James said, smirking slightly as he thought of the idea. That did it! James took it too far and now, Adrian was suddenly on top of him, knocking him to the ground.
“How dare you talk about my Roza that way? You know how much I love her. She would never run away with you no matter what. She loves me,” Adrian said through gritted teeth as he and James got up and was still holding onto each other’s collars as Maddie tried to hold back Adrian and Lucifer tried to hold back James.
“And how do you know that for sure, Vince? Did she tell you, even once, that she loves you after the accident? Did she tell you that during your little dance? She told me several times that she loves me. How many times did she tell you she loves you?” James teased although his eyes kept his anger at bay. He was really good at that and Adrian was getting angrier and angrier each second.
“Roza told me that she loves me a lot of times. She doesn’t love you,” Adrian said protectively.
“Oh yeah sure. You know that you doubt the relationship between the two of you. You know that what she felt for you before is not the same anymore,” James said again. This time, Adrian broke away from Maddie’s grasp and pounced on James. Both of their eyes were black, like depthless black. Both of them wrestled each other to the ground. They were impossible. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to go out there and stop them but my legs were too weak. I could bare
ly move them.
“STOP!!” I yelled out, reaching out a hand as if it would magically grow out and stop them from the fighting. “Stop fighting,” I whispered.
“Alice! You’re . . . alive,” Maddie said as she threw herself on top of me. I hugged her back, still keeping my eyes on the trio as they watched Maddie pull away from me and stand next to them.
“How much of that did you hear, Rosie?” It was Lucifer who spoke, breaking the ceaseless silence.
“Enough to know that all three of you are wacks. What were you guys talking about? And James, why’d you have to go around annoying Adrian? What did he ever do to you?” I asked them all. Adrian gave James a triumphant smile that made my heart melt for some reason.
“That’s exactly what I told him, Roza. He just doesn’t listen,” Adrian smiled at me as I smiled back. James and Lucifer practically glowered at him.
“Listen, we need to talk,” said all three of them at the same time as Maddie sighed.
“Okay, one by one in private. I don’t want all three of you to tear each other apart,” I said.
“I’ll go first,” Lucifer chimed in as Maddie, Adrian and James left the room.
“Lucifer, what do you want to talk about?” I sighed. He walked over to my bed and sat down, facing me, and he tentatively took my face in his hands and leaned in close, our face inches away from each other’s. He held onto my face lightly.
“How are you feeling, Rosie?” he asked me as his voice softened. His expression still held that smug type of vibe but his eyes had a worried shade of blue.
“I’m feeling better than before, Lucifer. Thanks for your concern,” I smiled as he relaxed a bit and let out a shaky breath, fanning out the lower half of my face. It kind of tickled me and sent a pleasurable shiver down my spine.
“I never get tired of seeing your beautiful smile, Rosie. It just makes my heart melt,” he says. I kind of felt bad for him; everyone always kept blaming him for things.
“That’s nice. What did you want to—,” I started, but he leaned even more and kissed me. At first, he just brushed his lips across mine, but then, the kiss got firmer and he held onto my face as if he would lose me.
