She was going to have to watch her back around them.
Shaking off the twinge of worry, she took a deep breath and went over to the phone in the hallway. She wouldn’t worry about that now. There were more important things to give headspace to before they left for Cambridge.
The first thing she needed to do was call her boss, Clio, and let her know what had happened last night at Jolyon’s house.
Clio picked up after a couple of rings and before she had a chance to say much, Emma launched into an abbreviated story of last night’s debacle, quickly filling her boss in on the state of her and Jack’s relationship and the complicated situation she found herself in now.
There was a pause on the line as Clio took a moment to digest all that Emma had told her before she spoke.
‘It sounds like you had quite a night, Emma. Are you okay?’
Her boss’s concern for her well-being above all else reminded Emma of why she loved working for her so much.
Even though she hadn’t expected Clio to be angry with her it was still a relief to actually hear that she wasn’t.
‘I’m okay. Sort of. I’m not quite sure how this is all going to play out, but there’s a good chance I won’t be available to work for at least a week or two.’
‘Don’t worry about that,’ Clio reassured her in soothing tones. ‘I’ll be able to find another job for you as soon as you’re ready, Emma. You’re one of my best girls; all the other clients you’ve worked for have sung your praises to me.’
Emma let out an involuntary sigh of relief. ‘That’s good to hear, Clio. Thank you.’
There was a pause on the line before her boss spoke again. ‘You know, Emma, if you ever need to talk you give me a ring, okay? I’m always here if you need a listening ear.’ She paused again. ‘I had a similar experience myself a few years ago so I understand what you’re going through.’
‘Really?’
Emma was shocked to hear this. Her boss seemed so together, so focussed on her business. It was comforting to hear that someone she respected and looked up to so much wasn’t infallible either.
‘Are you secretly married too?’ she asked tentatively.
Clio made a wryly amused sound in the back of her throat. ‘Unfortunately it’s not as straight forward as that.’
‘When are relationships ever straight forward?’ Emma said with a sigh.
‘A good point,’ Clio agreed.
There was a short pause. ‘Listen, Emma,’ Clio said carefully, ‘for what it’s worth, my advice is to keep in mind that just because the marriage wasn’t right for you then, it doesn’t mean it isn’t right for you now. Both of you have had a lot of time to grow and learn things about yourself since then. That’s worth considering.’
Emma’s first reaction was one of scepticism that Jack would be at all interested in a reconciliation based on his angry outburst last night, but maybe Clio had a point. Sure, they’d grown apart over the years, each finding their own way forwards, but neither of them had gone so far as to ask the other for a divorce. And surely he never would have lost his cool with Jolyon if he didn’t still care about her, at least in some small way?
Her heartbeat picked up as she cautiously entertained the idea of it. Even though he’d been standoffish around her since then, she couldn’t help but wonder whether the more time they spent together, the more chance there was she’d spot a chink in his armour.
That there might still be hope for them.
But she’d be a fool to get too excited about the idea of it. There was probably too much water under the bridge now for them to turn things around.
Wasn’t there?
‘Anyway,’ Clio said, breaking into her racing thoughts, ‘like I said, don’t worry about anything. Just let me know when you’re in a position to take on another job and I’ll make sure to find you something. In the meantime you take care of yourself, okay?’
‘I will, Clio. And thanks. I really appreciate the support.’
She became aware of an achy tension building at the back of her throat and she concluded the call quickly so that her boss wouldn’t hear the emotion in her voice.
She felt so confused all of a sudden.
After putting down the phone to Clio she took a moment to compose herself before calling Sophie, whose number she’d memorised because they’d worked so frequently together for the agency.
After giving her the same quick summary that she’d given Clio, she asked her friend to drop her missing bag and coat over to Jack’s house, as she couldn’t risk picking them up in person in case the press took more photos of her leaving.
Sophie’s mixture of earnest concern and soothing support nearly set Emma’s tears off again, but she managed to hold it together until they’d arranged how to get the missing items back to her.
Twenty minutes after she’d put the phone down to her friend there was a discreet knock at the back door where they’d agreed to rendezvous. Emma opened it to find Sophie waiting there with a look of worried anticipation on her face.
‘One handbag, one coat,’ Sophie said, holding the items up for her to grab as she dashed inside before any press noticed that she’d vaulted over the back wall and snuck through Jack’s garden to gain entry.
‘You’re a lifesaver,’ Emma said, giving her a tight hug.
‘Are you okay?’ Sophie asked, her voice muffled by Emma’s hair.
It took Emma a moment before she was able to let go of her friend—the comfort of the hug seemed to be releasing some of the straining tension in her—and they drew away from each other.
Emma nodded, tried to smile, failed, then shook her head. ‘Not really.’
‘You poor thing. What a mess,’ Sophie cooed.
‘I know, and it’s all of my own making. I should have contacted Jack before now...’ she sighed and tugged a hand through her hair ‘...but I never seemed to find the strength to do it.’
‘It must be a horrible thing to have to deal with. I don’t blame you one little bit for letting it slide.’
‘Well, there’s no sliding out of it now. We’re leaving to see his parents at their massive stately pile in Cambridgeshire in about ten minutes. I’ll certainly be facing the firing squad there. They’re very uptight about how their family is portrayed in the media and I’m not exactly the daughter-in-law they were hoping for.’
‘Emma, how can they not love you? You’re an amazing woman, kind, compassionate, smart. They’d be lucky to have you as part of their family.’
Emma managed to dredge up a droll smile. ‘Try telling Jack that.’
Sophie gave her a discerning look. ‘You still have feelings for him, don’t you?’
Emma sighed and rubbed a hand across her aching forehead. ‘To be honest I don’t know how I feel about him right now. He can be the most frustrating man in the world, but he does something to me on a visceral level, you know?’
‘I do,’ Sophie said, watching her with a worried frown. ‘You can’t help who you fall in love with.’
‘No.’
They were both silent for a moment, each of them lost in their own personal reverie.
‘Hey, do you have something knockout to wear to meet his parents?’ Sophie asked, breaking Emma out of her thoughts about how she was going to deal with spending more up-close-and-personal time with Jack when she was feeling so mixed up about him.
She glanced up at her friend. ‘Jack’s sister left some of her clothes here, which I can wear. They’re a bit casual for a meeting with a marquess and marchioness, but they’ll have to do. I haven’t got time to go home now. Not that I’ve got anything suitable there either.’
‘Okay, well in that case I’m glad I brought these with me.’ Sophie slipped the strap of a suit carrier off her shoulder and held it out towards her.
‘The
y’re dresses I’ve just finished sewing for a charity catwalk show. You’re so lovely and slim I think they’ll fit you perfectly.’
The kindness of the act brought tears straight to Emma’s eyes and she blinked hard, knowing that if she let as much as one of them fall she was a goner.
‘That’s so sweet of you, thanks,’ she said, pulling Sophie in for another hug and holding onto her tightly until she’d got herself under control.
After disentangling herself, Sophie smoothed down her hair and gave her a warm smile. ‘You’re welcome. Knock their socks off, Emma! And call me as soon as you can to let me know that you’re okay, all right. The girls and I were really worried about you when you disappeared like you did last night and they’ll want to know you’re in good hands.’
‘I will. And thanks again, you’re a good friend.’
‘My pleasure, sweetheart.’
Blowing her one final kiss, Sophie nipped out of the door and hared back off across the garden before the paps got a chance to get a good look at her.
Shutting the door firmly behind her friend, Emma smiled and took a deep fortifying breath, thanking her lucky stars for such good friends.
It was so good to know that she wasn’t completely on her own with this.
* * *
Jack was pacing the hall when Emma walked down the stairs to meet him looking a little pale, though still her poised, beautiful self. She was wearing a stunning dress, the structured soft grey material framing her curves in a way that made it impossible for him to drag his eyes away from her. There was something sharply stylish about the cut of it, even though the design was simple, giving the impression of confidence and effortless style. He had to hand it to her, she was a class act, even in the face of such a challenging situation.
In fact after what he’d witnessed in the last twenty-four hours it seemed he’d done her a disservice by assuming he’d have to handle the fallout from this all by himself. Instead of shying away from it, she’d stepped right up when it had become clear he needed her in this with him, and without one murmur of protest.
‘My friend Sophie loaned it to me,’ she said, following his gaze and fluttering her hands across the front of the dress. The strap of the handbag she was wearing over her shoulder slipped down her arm at the movement and dropped to the floor before she could catch it. As she bent down to pick it up something slipped out of the neck of her dress and flashed in the light as it twisted and swung around. He stared at the slim sliver chain. And the ring that was looped through it.
With a lurch of astonishment he realised he recognised it.
Her wedding ring.
She still wore it. Close to her heart.
Following his gaze, Emma looked down to see what he was staring at and when she realised what it was, she tried to stuff the necklace hastily back inside her dress again.
‘You still have it,’ he said, the words sounding broken and raw as he forced them past his throat.
‘Of course.’ She was frowning now and wouldn’t meet his eye.
‘Why—?’ He walked to where she was standing with her hand gripping her handbag so hard her knuckles were white.
‘I’m not very good at letting go of the past,’ she said, shrugging and tilting up her chin to look him straight in the eye, as if to dare him to challenge her about it. ‘I don’t have a lot left from my old life and I couldn’t bear to get rid of this ring. It reminds me of a happier time in my life. A simpler time, which I don’t want to forget about.’
She blinked hard and clenched her jaw together and it suddenly occurred to him that she was struggling with being around him as much as he was with her.
The atmosphere hung heavy and tense between them, with only the sound of their breathing breaking the silence.
His throat felt tight with tension and his pulse had picked up so he felt the heavy beat of it in his chest.
Why was it so important to him that she hadn’t completely eschewed their past?
He didn’t know, but it was.
Taking a step towards her, he slid his fingers under the thin silver chain around her neck, feeling the heat of her soft skin as he brushed the backs of his fingers over it, and drew the ring out of her dress again to look at it.
He remembered picking this out with her. They’d been so happy then, so full of excitement and love for each other.
He heard her ragged intake of breath as the chain slid against the back of her neck and looked up to see confusion in her eyes, and something else. Regret, perhaps, or sorrow for what they’d lost.
Something seemed to be tugging hard inside him, drawing him closer to her.
Her lips parted and he found he couldn’t drag his gaze away from her mouth. That beautiful, sensual mouth that used to haunt his dreams all those years ago.
A lifetime ago.
‘Jack?’ she murmured and he frowned and shut his eyes, taking a step away from her, letting go of the chain so that the ring thumped back against her chest, breaking the strange sensuous connection between them. This was crazy; he shouldn’t be giving in to his body’s primal urges, not with her. Not now.
It was too late for them. They were different people now. There was no point trying to rehash the past.
‘We should go,’ he said, giving her a reassuring smile, which faltered when he caught the look of pained confusion on her face. ‘We don’t want to be late.’
* * *
Jack had arranged for his driver to pull up right outside the house and he and Emma—who had hidden her face behind a pair of Clare’s old sunglasses and the brim of a baseball cap—practically sprinted to the car and flung themselves inside, determinedly ignoring the questions that were hurled at them from all sides.
Once safely in the back seat, Jack shouted for his driver to hit the gas and they left the pack of journalists behind them, scrambling for their own transport. Luckily his driver was able to shake them all off by taking a convoluted route through some back streets and when Jack checked behind them ten minutes later, there still wasn’t anyone obviously tailing them.
They sat quietly, not speaking for the first part of the journey, and Jack took the opportunity to check work emails and calls. After he’d satisfied himself that everything was running smoothly without him, he sat back and looked out of the window, finally allowing his mind to dwell on the situation with Emma again, his thoughts whirring relentlessly.
Something had been bothering him since the phone call with his father, and it suddenly struck him what it was.
They’d be fools to think that trying to get divorced quickly would make all their problems go away. The press would be far more interested in them if they suddenly announced they were splitting up after their marriage had only just become news. His father would be sure to drag Emma’s troubled past into the spotlight again, especially if he thought it would add weight to the Westwood’s side of the claim in the divorce settlement. The man was capable of doing whatever it took to protect the family’s estate.
He hated the idea of Emma having to go through the torture of being hounded by photographers again, having them hiding in her bushes and jumping out at the most inopportune moments. It would be incredibly stressful, especially if she had to cope with it on her own. At least when she was with him he could protect her from the majority of it, using the vast resources he had to hand.
The more he thought about it, the more an idea began to take shape in his mind. What if they stayed married, at least for the time being, and made out to the world that they were happy together? The press would soon grow bored with that—there wouldn’t be any conflict in the story to get excited about. His father would be forced to leave her alone too if she retained the Westwood name.
Surely they could deal with being around each other for a while longer, just until the interest in them had died down.
/> ‘Emma?’
‘Hmm?’ She turned to look at him with an unfocussed gaze as if she too had been deep in thought.
‘What if we stayed married?’
Her gaze sharpened up pretty quickly at that.
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean what if we pretend our marriage is solid? To everyone. Including our parents. That would give them time to get used to it and for the press interest in us to die down, then we could get divorced quietly and without anyone noticing in a few months’ time.’
‘A few months?’ she repeated, as if she couldn’t believe what she’d just heard and was a little unnerved by it.
‘We’d only have to project a happy marriage in public—in private we could completely ignore each other if you like.’ He knew he sounded defensive, but her sceptical response had rattled him.
Surely they could get past any awkwardness about being around each other again if it meant they’d be left alone to deal with this mess in a private and dignified manner. On their terms.
She seemed to be mulling the idea over now that she’d got over the initial shock of his suggestion, and she turned to face him again with a small pinch in her brow.
‘You mean we’d live together in the same house?’
He took a breath. ‘Yes, I guess that would make sense. To make it seem plausible that we’re a happy couple, madly in love.’ He was aware of tension building in his throat as he talked. ‘You could move into my house. Just for those months. You’d be able to hide out there more easily than your flat and use my driver to get where you wanted to go.’
Turning away, she stared out of the window, her shoulders slightly hunched and her hands clasped in her lap.
‘Okay,’ she said so quietly he wasn’t sure if he’d heard her correctly.
‘Did you say okay?’
‘Yes.’ She swivelled to face him. ‘I said okay. It makes sense to do that.’ She paused to swallow, the look in her eyes a little circumspect. ‘Just to be clear, you are talking about just being housemates, nothing more?’
A Countess for Christmas Page 7
