I felt a spark in my hands as I slipped my fingers under his coat. Damn, he looked handsome. Especially with his hair slicked back again. I liked the rough look, but this was good too.
“No.” I whispered, still not looking at him.
“Seems like it,” I gasped inwardly as his finger slipped under my throat, forcing me to look at him.
My heart swelled as tears stung my eyes with what I knew I had to do.
“Emilia, last night…”
“I should have left. I was late today, Tristan. This entire wedding almost fell apart because I was distracted.” I secured the pin and stepped back, escaping the heat of his proximity.
“I knew I should have left. And I knew I shouldn’t have stayed involved with you. I can’t do this. I woke up thinking it was all over—my reputation, everything. I have to focus on my job. I can’t do that when I’m with you. So, this is it, we can’t…we can’t be together.”
I wiped my tears away quickly. Taking a deep breath to calm myself. I looked into his eyes like it was the last time, memorizing the beautiful green hue of them. His jaw tight, he stared back at me.
“But I…Emilia, I love you. We can try to…no. I won’t make you choose.” He shook his head, looking down at the ground.
What did he just say? Maybe I was crazy, or I am still asleep.
“I just want you to know that. When you walk away. That I’ve fallen in love with you. And I thought I would never trust another woman again, or want to be with them. But I do love. And that’s why…if you want to go, I have to let you go.” His voice didn’t even falter.
There was so much I wanted to say. That I was sorry. That I don’t want to hurt him. And I don’t want to do this at all. But as I turned to leave and left him behind…all I wanted to say was that I loved him too.
Chapter Twenty Nine: Tristan
“I want the ten floors at the top. Make the service elevator available to me too.” I barked commands at my leasing manager.
She was a nice girl, but a bit of an airhead.
“Yes sir. And your noon meeting is here.” She tucked her dyed blonde hair behind her ear. When I hired her a week ago, she was a brunette.
But she was young. A business major in college, so I decided to throw her a bone.
“Thanks. Did anyone call back?” I hoped.
“Nope. Is that all?” She stuck her chest out, her black, tight dress wasn’t necessarily work place attire. I knew she was trying to get with me, but I was extremely unavailable.
“Yes.” I answered shortly.
It had been a month since their wedding. Levi and Gab were living it up in Cabo, and I was struggling with my second start up. I was currently working out of borrowed office space, but was moving into the startup I just bought next week.
And of course, I thought to Emilia every day, just like in the beginning. It took me one night to go crazy for her, one month to find her, three weeks to fall in love with her. And now a month of torture for doing so. I felt like shit.
Yeah, the wedding almost fell behind. But it worked out in the end. I hadn’t thought she would stay, if she really needed to go…
She blamed me. She looked at me like she hated me. I told her I love her, and she left.
I know what she said. She can’t sacrifice her business and I respect that. But it was still very…unsettling. She must not love me too. I have always been intense, but I knew I loved her. When she wasn’t around, it’s like I can’t breathe. And I can’t think. The only reason this business is going well is because it was a welcomed distraction.
Otherwise I couldn’t sleep. I ate less. I looked ten years older.
I had called her every day since then. Sometimes twice a day, then three, and then so much it goes straight to voicemail. I started calling on the office phone. She answered the first time and hung up when she heard my voice. I think I cried for the first time in years when that happened. I mean, she hung up right in my face. She was angry and I thought she hated me. When you love someone, that hurt more than anything.
She doesn’t answer the phone. And I just wanted to know how she is, let her know I support her. It’s why I sent those girls to help her the day of the wedding. And when nearly everyone at that wedding asked about a florist, I send them her way.
It was no secret her business was doing well. Mom heard from Sasha that she bought that bigger space she wanted in the city. At least someone knew she was okay, and that brought me some comfort. But I wanted to talk to her myself. Hear that voice of hers, see her beautiful eyes.
They haunted me. I would close my eyes and see them, and see her smile. I was in hell and the only way out was to be with her.
I grabbed my suit jacket, I still hate suits—and headed to my meeting. I was trying to buy an app startup company, something about an app compilation software. I just knew I wanted it, and I was keeping it. I didn’t plan on selling it off. The guys behind it were young and impressionable, but I didn’t plan on cheating them.
They were sun tanned and fresh out of college, it reminded me of myself. We met in the conference room and went back and forth.
“You’re worth ten million, tops.” I leaned back, exchanging looks with both of them.
“We hadn’t expected it to be that high.” Jason—at least I think that’s his name, was the head founder. The other one handled the business side of things.
“Yeah, but I’m only offering eight million and you keep three percent ownership, two percent of profits.”
They asked to discuss it and when I got back, I bought their company for eight million. Everything was looking up.
Until I was home, exhausted, and staring at my phone. Willing it to ring. I did the same thing every night.
Natalie called me, breaking up the noise on the action movie.
“You’re sulking again.”
“I’m not.” I sounded dejected as hell, so of course she was right.
“You know, you weren’t even like this after Vivian. You really loved Emilia.” My throat lumped at the sound of her name.
I had to tell myself to calm down, that it wasn’t that serious. But it was. I don’t even miss Vivian. I am not even mad at her anymore. I literally feel nothing when I think of her, but when I think of Emilia, I feel everything.
“I still do. Maybe she’ll answer the phone one day.”
What I couldn’t believe the most was that I opened myself up to this pain again. The heartbreak. I told myself not to get involved with any more women but Emilia forced her way into my heart. I was defenseless, and we didn’t stand a chance.
“I’m sure she will. She just…probably feels bad about blaming you. Because it was not really your fault at all.”
“I don’t know. Maybe it was. I don’t really want to talk about it anymore.” We would be at it all night if I didn’t shut it down now. Her psychoanalysis skills were dangerous, I ended up divulging every dark secret of my life.
“Okay. Well, Kevin has stopped travelling. Maybe one day we can have dinner.”
“I don’t know, I’m real busy with work now. Maybe.” I downed my third beer. For a time, I was getting drunk almost every night. But then I started getting serious with work, and I was getting too old to do that. I did like my liver. So now I just give myself a good enough buzz to let me get some sleep.
I missed her body against mine. Her softness, and her warmth. I would do anything to get it back.
“I understand. Just try to keep your head up, Tristan. It will get better.”
“Thanks Nat. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay, bye.”
My sister, she was kind of the best. Sometimes. I knew I don’t know what I would do without her. I couldn’t talk to mom about it because she wouldn’t really understand. Her and dad didn’t jump through any hoops to be together.
I kept willing my phone to ring. For Emilia to text me. Anything.
But like every night since Emilia left me in that room, it never did.
Chapt
er Thirty: Emilia
I wanted to call or text him every day.
I should never have said those things to him at the wedding. It wasn’t his fault I wanted to be with him. I still do.
I loved him so much it killed me so much more every day. And I think that’s why I couldn’t talk to him. I don’t deserve him. I blamed him when he didn’t even do anything wrong. I blamed him for loving me and after all he has been through, he definitely didn’t deserve that.
I buried myself in work and sometimes that made it worse.
I had referral sheets for every new client, to see where my marketing was going well, and they have all said Tristan Cox under family and friends. He was sending me so many clients, I had the upfront to get a new space and cater to the new clients, all because of him.
My shop was bigger, and while I still grew a lot of the flowers myself, I started outsourcing.
Ivy helped me a lot. She even quit her job to go into marketing and advertising, and I helped boost her resume by having her work for me.
She still loved fashion, but she loved the brains behind making it work even more. She wants to run her own runway shows one day. For now, she organizes everything but the flowers. I would welcome the distraction, but every time I look at a check book I think of Tristan and I burst into tears.
I had been crying a lot, I should have been out of tears by now. But I still cried myself to sleep every night. I’d wake up with swollen eyes and cry through breakfast because I see all of his missed calls. He hadn’t stopped calling.
When I answered that weird number, I heard his voice and freaked out. I couldn’t talk to him because I felt stupid.
I was stupid to think I could have him. I come home every night, saying we could be having dinner together. We could be sleeping in the same bed now, we could be having breakfast, fighting over the shower and then end up sharing before going off to work. Texting each other and falling more and more in love every day. I was stupid and I couldn’t face him.
So, I distracted myself with work and the business got bigger than I could have ever imagined, for that I was happy. I wanted to make my mother proud. I wanted to beg for Tristan’s forgiveness, but he was such a good man, I know he isn’t even angry. But he should be.
He never even left any angry voice mails.
Emilia, I just want to talk to you. Please call me back.
I want to know that you are doing okay. How are you? Call me back.
I miss you. And I still love you. We can still try and make this work.
Emilia, I’m sorry. Please call me back.
I still love you. I still want you.
Please, this doesn’t have to end.
He wasn’t mad. He was hurt. He doesn’t chase women, he was going against all his norms for me. I hated myself for driving him mad like this and I didn’t know how to fix it.
“Emilia, we have to be there in twenty minutes!”
Ivy had a key to my place and started letting herself in. I was going to an annual flower convention downtown. Its main purpose was to book companies like mine for different gigs. I hoped to build the clientele there, all the people Tristan sent me have started to die down.
“Coming!”
I covered my red eyes with eyeliner and fixed my dress. I forced myself to wear this bright green sundress when all I wanted was to wear sweats and eat ice cream. At first I ate a bunch of junk food, now I just ate little to nothing. My clothes were fitting looser. I remembered how much Tristan loved my body, he would barely recognize me now.
“Okay, let’s go.” Ivy eyed me warily. She knew I had been crying. She just knew me well.
She drove us down town and we started setting up. The tables were already there so we just decorated, she made a really nice table cloth with my logo on it. The business cards and portfolio were set out and we sat behind the table, watching the room fill up with other vendors.
“You were crying this morning.” She commented. I shrugged.
“Yeah. As usual.”
“Honey, why don’t you call him? He isn’t mad. You can fix this.” She clasped my hand.
I shook my head, taking a deep breath to keep from crying.
“I can’t. There is nothing I can do without making a fool of myself. Let’s just focus on this, please.”
She nodded. “The flowers will be here soon.”
I nodded. I checked the ad I had put out on Facebook. It got a lot of likes, so I felt a lot of people would show. But there was competition. Everyone in the room was just as good, if not better.
A few minutes later, a service trolley rolled in with a beautiful array of buttercups and baby’s breath. I smiled, my favorite. Then it headed right towards us.
“Are you Emilia Michelle?” The sweet old delivery man stopped in front of our table.
“Yes, but I ordered a tulip and rose arrangement.” It was my best arrangement, it always sold people on my work. But I didn’t order this.
“Well, I have your order here.” His graying brows rose as he handed me the tablet. Sure, enough the order was there with my name.
Ivy looked over my shoulder. “I made the order myself.” She said.
“It has this message with it.” The man leaned into one of the pots and handed me a card.
I opened the card.
Your mother would want you to be brave. You already have been, but now you need to take a chance. With me. Please call me. If you love me, you’ll call.
-Tristan.
My tears flowed hot and heavy. He was right. Mom would want me to go after love, and I did love him. I was barely aware of Ivy signing for the flowers and the delivery man leaving. I wiped my tears quickly so I could look more presentable.
“Let me see.” I gave the card to her.
She read it and smiled.
“See? The man loves you to death Emilia. Stop hurting him.” Ivy said sternly.” She was right. I shouldn’t hurt him anymore.
But I couldn’t leave the event.
“I’ll call him after. I swear.” She narrowed her eyes at me, but left me be.
The event went smoothly. I talked to so many people, and left with eleven new bookings, all spread out for the next four months. It was amazing. Ivy and I decided to do these events every four months.
“That was awesome.” She said as we packed up.
“You go call him! I’ll clean up.” I protested, but she held up her hand effectively stopped me.
I sighed, but stepped off to a quiet corner to call him. It only rang twice.
“Emilia?” I gasped at the sound of his voice. Deep and husky, but sad. It was all because of me.
“Hi, Tristan.” My voice croaked. I heard him inhale sharply on the other line. He was surprised. He thought I didn’t love him.
“You love me?” He breathed. I laughed through my hot tears.
“Yes. So much. Tristan, I am so sorry. For everything I said, I never meant to hurt you. And I did. I shouldn’t have blamed you.” I rambled.
I wished he were here to hold me. To wipe my tears away. But for now, I would settle for his voice falling over me. I had missed it so much. It wasn’t the same over voicemail.
“It’s okay baby doll, it’s in the past. I was never mad at you. I just wanted a chance.” He replied.
“I should have given you one. I was stupid. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, I’m not mad. I’m just glad you called.”
“You still love me?” I asked him. He chuckled softly.
“Are you kidding? Of course, I love you, always.”
“I—I want to see you.” I said.
“Come outside.”
“What?” I looked around. Was he here?
“Come outside.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. But I walked out through the back and crossed the alley way.
He was there, leaning against his car. I ran towards him like a mad woman, calling out his name until he saw me. He greeted me with that big, perfect smile of his. I collided
into him, the warmth and hardness of his body meeting mine as he wrapped me in his arms. The smell of pine and soap invaded my senses, I had missed it so much. My hands were everywhere on him until they landed on his hair, latching him to me as he kissed me.
My soul relaxed as my body melted into his. I parted my lips, they moved with him in perfect unison. God, I missed him.
“How long have you been waiting?” I asked him.
“A few hours.” His green eyes smoldered into mine. It was everything I needed.
“You waited that long to see me?”
“Baby doll, I will always wait for you. Always.”
Epilogue
I was living a real-life fairytale.
The last four months had been hard. I was drowning in work, Tristan was too. Sometimes he was home late, and then me. But we always ended up in bed together at the end of the night. I moved in with him almost immediately after that flower convention.
We snuck our time in.
Sometimes at breakfast like I imagined, before bed. Over lunch breaks. But for the past few weeks it had finally slowed down and I could have more time, and his staff was getting bigger so he didn’t have to be at the forefront of everything.
He insisted in taking me away for a weekend, to celebrate our success. I had no events coming up, and Ivy was taking care of everything else. So, I packed a weekend bag with plenty of lingerie and waited for him as asked.
He got home around noon on that Friday, and changed quickly before we left.
“Where are we going?” I asked him. The rev of his Tesla was quiet, I sunk into the leather seat. His hand trailed the bare skin of my leg in my dress. I couldn’t wait to get him into a bed. Or anywhere. We hadn’t had sex in almost two weeks, it was odd for us.
“To my cabin on the lake. You’ll like it.” He smirked and turned back to the road.
The drive was quick, and we pretty much ran inside. We were undressed in seconds, and on the couch naked in four more. When he slipped inside of me it felt like home.
“I missed you.”
I wondered if he was talking to my boobs or me. Maybe both. He wasted no time, thrusting into me with the fury of all the time we had missed together. I cried out, we were in the middle of nowhere, so it wasn’t like anyone could hear us.
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