by Gun Brooke
Darcy hid her face in her hands for a few moments but then lifted her head to face Sabrina. Not hiding her tear-streaked cheeks, and no doubt red eyes and nose, she waited for the inevitable display of loathing she had come across so many times during the last three years.
“This sounds highly unlikely.” Sabrina pursed her lips.
“Excuse me?” Darcy was at a loss for words. “What’s unlikely?”
“That you’d panic and shoot a young man just like that. It doesn’t compute with the image I have of you.”
“Sabrina. It’s been three years, and I’d like to think I’ve learned my lesson. I’m not the same Darcy I was back then.” It was true. Three years ago, at age twenty-five, Darcy had been fun-loving, adventurous, quite cocky, and eager to prove herself.
“Hmm. That said, I still think it sounds very strange. Too many coincidences to be believable.”
“Are you trying to make excuses for me? You? Who hate all cops?” Darcy was slowly growing angry. Telling Sabrina the truth about her background was hard enough without Sabrina merely shrugging it off. “You weren’t there.”
“In a sense, neither were you. Or at least your consciousness wasn’t.” Sabrina tilted her head and regarded Darcy carefully. “If I’ve learned anything since my ordeal, it’s how to be an accurate judge of character. You’re courageous and professional. I can see you firing as a last resort, but under the boardwalk in the dark? It just doesn’t add up.”
“Facts are facts,” Darcy said, wiping at her cheeks.
“Before this incident, did you ever live through any situation where you panicked or overreacted?” Sabrina held Darcy’s gaze captive.
“Well, no, but each situation is different, and I could have been stressed about the tide coming in—”
“And who is the witness to the whole scenario as it unfolded?”
“Officer Ivers. And, of course, the boy who was shot and his friends. His friends were a bit farther out under the pier, but they heard two shots. When they reached their friend, he was barely conscious and clinging to a pole. Ivers was dragging me out of the water, apparently.”
“What did the forensic experts say?”
“I had gun residue on my latex gloves. The bullets came from my gun. Ivers’s gun hadn’t been fired, and his gloves were clean.” Darcy shook her head. “Please, stop. You’re not saying anything I didn’t try to convince myself of that first time after I woke up in the hospital. I had a lot of ‘but ifs’ but finally had to realize that the truth was the truth, no matter what I wanted it to be.”
“All right.” Sabrina didn’t sound convinced at all, but perhaps she understood that second-guessing what Darcy had done would only hurt her in the long run.
“So. Now you know.”
“I do.”
Darcy shuddered. “And?”
“What do you mean?” Sabrina raised her head and frowned.
“I must be your worst nightmare of a cop…ex-cop.”
“Hold it.” Raising her right hand, palm forward, Sabina stopped Darcy’s flow of words. “Don’t put words into my mouth. I’m just fine right now, and I don’t want to keep nagging you about it, but the Darcy sitting here with me would never act like they claim you did three years ago. So that’s it.”
Darcy could barely breathe. She had told Sabrina her darkest truth, the terrible thing she had done in a moment of panic, and Sabrina was still here. Not only that, but she wasn’t so freaked out that she was calling a cab. “Thank you. No matter what, your safety is my priority. And you are. My house is a fortress.”
“Why is that, exactly?” Sabrina asked gently.
“After the shooting, I wasn’t the most popular person in town. Lots of people showed up at my door, including the media. When Meghan heard about that, she hired Karimi and his crew to wire my house so nobody can get ten feet from the house without setting off specific alarms. They’re hidden and impossible to tamper with. And then we have this guy.” She patted the large head on her lap. “He’s trained in all kinds of disciplines.”
“I’m glad your family has stood by you.” Sabrina avoided eye contact for the first time, and Darcy wondered what made her voice suddenly tremble.
“Some, or I should say, most of them have been great. My mother and sister keep their distance though, but I haven’t seen much of them since Dad died and I inherited the house. As for my dad’s side of the family, Meghan’s parents, her husband and son, just like you, none of them believed what happened at first. Now they all have resigned themselves to the facts of what transpired, well, perhaps except Meghan, Benny, and Karimi.”
“Really? Well, at least I’m in good company. They know you tons better than I do, after all.”
Sighing inwardly, Darcy wasn’t sure she would ever be able to explain that nowadays it hurt her more that those closest to her didn’t just accept the facts and move on—because that meant she couldn’t entirely put the terrible experience behind her. “I suppose.”
Sabrina straightened and squared her shoulders. Setting her jaw in that, by now, familiar way, she folded her hands on her lap. “I guess it’s my turn to tell you about my past—or you may want to read the document your cousin sent instead?” Sabrina sounded as if she dreaded something. Whether it was talking about her past in person, or having Darcy read about it, Darcy couldn’t determine.
“I’d rather hear it from you. I can read Meghan’s document later. Perhaps we can go through it together.”
“All right.” Sabrina appeared to lose herself in the flames licking along the logs in the fireplace for a moment. She sighed and for a while looked defeated, but then she grew rigid again. Appearing tense around her eyes and lips, she shifted her gaze to Darcy. “When I was twenty years old and in college, I was sexually assaulted. At a beach party, ironically enough, and that’s when my loathing of police officers and people misusing authority began. The fallout from that assault nearly destroyed my life.”
Chapter Fourteen
Sabrina knew it was only fair to reciprocate with her past, her truth. But that didn’t make it any easier. As if Khan believed an even closer proximity between the humans was preferable, he jumped off the couch and curled up near the fire. In turn, Darcy slid over to sit near Sabrina. The nearness should have felt invasive, but it didn’t. Instead, Sabrina pushed back a sudden urge to hold Darcy’s hand. Darcy didn’t say anything to urge her on with her story but watched her unwaveringly, which made Sabrina sure Darcy wanted to listen to what she had to say.
“I, um, reported everything to the college police and security, and to the dean, of course. I mean, I had witnesses—or so I thought.” Pulling one of the large pillows into her arms, Sabrina held it close to her, pretending it was Darcy’s body giving her strength. Why didn’t this notion shock her? Steeling herself, Sabrina said, “Nowadays most people are aware of the rape culture at our colleges and universities. I mean, you’d have to be completely oblivious to the media if you aren’t. Fifteen years ago, blaming the victim and second-guessing were very much the norm and rarely, if ever, addressed.”
“I know.” Cautiously, as if she neared a skittish foal, Darcy placed her hand on top of Sabrina’s. “Take your time.”
“There were three of them, all wearing pantyhose masks, and apart from the violence, I remember their laughter most clearly. They were squealing, chortling, and sometimes howling. I remember biting one of them on the hand. I was afraid and so furious I hung on and bit until I felt his bones between my teeth. He wasn’t laughing then. He screamed louder than I could, as I had so much sand in my mouth. How anyone heard my screams once I managed to get the sand out of my mouth, I’ll never know. I barely had any air left in my lungs from coughing.”
Sabrina needed to catch her breath at the mere thought, so she wiped away a tear with the back of her hand. “My roommate and our best friend found me almost naked in the dunes. I had managed to scream and fight the men off by then. Of course, when Callie and Dawn reached me, followed by everyone e
lse that heard me yelling, they were nowhere in sight. Callie and Dawn did their best to shield me from everyone’s curious eyes, but at that point I didn’t care.”
Sabrina gripped Darcy’s hand harder. “All I could think was that the three guys who had done this to me were probably among the onlookers. All they had to do was remove their masks, and they would look perfectly innocent. Except for the one I bit. If I’d had any idea there on the beach, watching the reaction of my peers standing around me, how this might play out in the long run…” Sabrina couldn’t hold back a muted whimper. “Those three men took a perfectly happy, fun-filled beach party among college friends and turned it into a nightmare that still impacts me to this day. Had I known that back then what the fallout would be, I might not have managed to go on.”
“Oh, God, Sabrina.” Moving closer, Darcy pulled Sabrina into her strong arms that held Sabrina so tenderly, with such care, that new tears, this time of relief, ran down her face. “I hate that this happened to you. I truly hate it. I’m so glad you didn’t give up. Very glad.”
Sabrina felt Darcy kiss her right cheek, then the left. She leaned into the caresses before she had the sense to stop herself. “Me too. Today I wouldn’t give any of those people the satisfaction. Back then, I thought that once I told my side of the story, everyone would rally behind me and demand justice. The way the dean and the campus police acted, it was clear they wanted to keep it out of the press more than anything. In my traumatized state, all I understood was that nobody believed the circumstances. More and more of my friends started wondering if perhaps I’d been with a guy in the dunes, had second thoughts about it, and made up the entire incident. They kept telling me to just confess. Others called me an attention-seeker. How they managed to disregard my bruises and torn clothes, I have no idea.”
“Some friends,” Darcy muttered and stroked along Sabrina’s shoulders. Her touch was reassuring and helped Sabrina continue. Even her parents still used the incident as something to berate her about, as if being attacked and having a normal response to that trauma was some sort of character flaw. Sabrina snorted unhappily.
“My parents couldn’t deal with the peer pressure, combined with the demands of the faculty and the dean. Neither could I, in the end. After two semesters of trying to get someone, anyone, to listen, I gave up. They kept holding my education and reputation over me like the sword of Damocles. Eventually, I gave up. The idea of losing my chance at a career on top of everything else became too much.”
“Did you report it to the regular police?” Moving her hand to Sabrina’s thigh, Darcy kept up the stroking motion, and Sabrina got the impression she wasn’t quite aware of it.
“I was about to, but that’s when my parents got involved. Daniel is younger than me, so he wasn’t part of the heated discussion back then. My parents though…” Sabrina drew a trembling breath. “God. It’s been fifteen years, and still it gets to me. They never quite believed me. Despite the photos my roommate took of my bruises and scratch marks before the dean got to her, they decided once and for all that this was going to go away. Their daughter’s college experience wasn’t meant to be anything but a fruitful experience full of fun and networking—and brilliant study results, naturally.”
“A tall order when three brutes attacked their daughter the first year. Do you feel betrayed?”
“Yes.” The readily delivered answer surprised Sabrina. She had never articulated her feelings that way to another person, not even her therapist, but yes, of course she felt betrayed. “By so many. Friends, family, faculty, the campus cops, the dean, the campus counselor. I’ve been angry for quite some time.” Sabrina shrugged. “As you may have guessed, I’ve put most of my energy into my work. My business is what I’ve lived for—until my brother had the boys. He and Lorna have always had my back, but today…I failed my brother.”
“He was upset because his family was in danger—”
“Because of me.” The lump in Sabrina’s throat made it impossible to swallow, and she tried to free herself from Darcy’s light embrace.
“No. Please. Keep talking to me. I really want to know about this, and then we can look at Meghan’s document together. We may figure out who’s behind the crimes against you—who knows what we might discover.” Darcy let go of Sabrina’s hand and gently cupped her left cheek with a light hand. “I know you have some fucked-up experiences with the campus police, not to mention some of my ruder former colleagues. But I swear to you, I’m not like that. I never was, even when I was a new, kind of cocky, police officer. Actually, I was striving to learn as much as I could about how to deal with victims of assault and trauma. I won’t let you down. I promise.”
Sabrina was pulled in, as if Darcy’s multicolored eyes held magnetic properties. She lowered her gaze to the soft lips, full and such a sweet and natural kind of pink. Over the years, Sabrina had never denied herself sex when opportunity and the inclination were there, but it had been more than a year now, and she’d grown increasingly aloof. That it would take someone like Darcy, obviously caring but also tormented by her own past, to drive a wedge between her and her defenses, gave her goose bumps.
Pushing through her fear and trepidation, she surrendered to her needs, her attraction to Darcy. Capturing the soft lips with her own, she wrapped her arms around Darcy’s neck, holding on.
“Mmm.” Darcy hummed against Sabrina and returned the embrace. She pulled Sabrina closer, her strong grip gentle and obviously affectionate. She broke the kiss up into several, kissing along Sabrina’s lower lip. “Sabrina…you’re amazing. So beautiful and regal. Like a queen.” If Darcy hadn’t sounded so reverent and warm, Sabrina might have scoffed at the last part. Instead, a warm glow erupted in her chest, and she buried her face against Darcy’s neck.
“You smell divine.” Sabrina inhaled deeply again. “Like a mix of candy and flowers.”
Chuckling breathlessly, Darcy kissed the top of Sabrina’s hair. “And you smell of something decidedly more refined than that.”
“You did compare me to a queen.” Sabrina laughed, and it was such a tremendous release from her pent-up stress, her entire body melted against Darcy. “I promise, I’m not of royal descent.” She looked up into Darcy’s twinkling eyes.
“In my book, you are.” Darcy smiled broadly. “My queen.”
This idea gave Sabrina pause. Keeping her smile, she tilted her head. “Your queen.”
Darcy grew still, pulling back. Only an inch or two, but it was obvious. “I apologize.” Her eyes now a duller brown hue, Darcy wasn’t smiling as naturally now, and she pressed her lips together. “That did sound presumptuous, didn’t it? Especially considering you hated my guts in the car only a few hours ago.”
“Darcy…” Appalled at how easily she could hurt Darcy, Sabrina squeezed her well-defined upper arms.
“No. You’re right. I don’t blame you. At all.”
“Then tell me you don’t find me attractive and I’ll back off.” Sabrina hoped this would help Darcy understand. Always the blunt one, Sabrina rarely had the patience for playing games. Being clear right now seemed only fair to Darcy as well.
“Of course, I find you hot. That’s not the question. I’m—this is going too fast. I assumed too much.” Darcy still pulled back.
Sabrina was confused. They had felt so good together, the careful touching, the amazing kisses, the trust and comfort…Her eyes fell upon the bookshelves, and that’s when it hit her. She wanted to smack herself on the forehead for being such an idiot. “Oh, Darcy,” she whispered and cupped the flustered cheeks. Bookshelf after bookshelf of romance novels. Despite her tough and strong exterior, Darcy was a true romantic at heart. Why hadn’t Sabrina realized that before? Why else would she have called Sabrina “her queen”?
“Yes?” Darcy placed a hand on Sabrina’s left arm.
“I never hated you. I was hurt that you hadn’t leveled with me, but that hurt came from the same place within me that thinks you’re wonderful. Stunning and courageous. Cut
e, even, like now, when you blush.”
“Cute?” Darcy gaped. “That’s a first.”
“Know a lot of obtuse women, do you?”
Darcy’s blush spread down to the neckline of her T-shirt. “A few.”
“We both talked about hard things today. And it’s been quite the day overall.” Sabrina leaned sideways against the backrest, studying Darcy. “Nobody else has ever said something as romantic to me as ‘my queen.’ I was taken aback. Sorry for breaking the mood.”
Darcy fiddled with the sleeve of Sabrina’s sweater. “This is very new. And very fast. It’s a bit scary. I have a feeling you could hurt me like nobody else has—all categories.”
Darcy had a way of saying things that were so incredibly true for Sabrina as well. “Same here. I admit I’m torn. Part of me wants to have you right here, right now.” Sabrina’s eyes fell upon the sleeping Khan. “Well, maybe not right now with him there.”
“I hear you.” Darcy seemed to relax marginally. “Not that I think he’d tell anyone.”
Tugging gently at Darcy’s ponytail, Sabrina scanned her face carefully. “You okay?”
“Sure. I mean, yes. Yes, I am.” Darcy tipped her head back, closing her eyes. “Rejection.”
Having just sipped some dismally cold tea to add moisture to her dry mouth, Sabrina flinched. “What?”
“I’m rather skinless when it comes to the issue of being rejected these last three years. I lost a lot of friends and some family. I’m sure you can relate.” Her eyes showing immense fatigue now, Darcy hugged a pillow, just like Sabrina had earlier. “I learned the hard way that those who make a big production of ‘I’ll always be there for you’ are the ones who jump ship and bail on you the fastest.”
