by Shae Mills
She wasted no time leaving the Command Center and entering the suite across the corridor. She stopped in the middle of the room and looked about her. “Good day, my Lady,” Lethiason greeted from the en suite.
Chelan watched him as he approached her. He wore only his pants and boots and was roughly rubbing a towel through his long, wet hair. Chelan faced him directly. “Why do you call me that?”
“Call you what?”
“My Lady.”
Lethiason shrugged. “Because it suits you.”
Chelan’s eyes narrowed. “That is the only reason?”
Lethiason lowered the towel and straightened. “What other reason would there be?”
“I don’t know. But I do know that not all is what it seems. So I question all.”
Lethiason nodded at her and smiled. “And so you should.” He walked past her to the bed and began donning his jacket. “All bright beings question. To stop implies stagnation, the cessation of knowledge accumulation.”
Chelan folded her arms. “Well, good. I am about to become a lot more informed.”
Lethiason chuckled and turned to her. “I am all yours. What do you wish to know?”
Chelan watched him sit down comfortably on the bed. She pulled up a chair in front of him and sat. She hesitated. She quite simply did not know where to start. Finally, she spoke. “Talon has suddenly become more civilized. I was wondering what happened.”
“Actually, I was wondering if you knew the answer to that.”
Chelan raised her brows. “Why me?”
“Well, I was sent away rather unceremoniously after our little interaction. Then just as suddenly, yesterday, I was brought back without so much as an explanation or a warning. I thought you may have had something to do with it.”
“I hold no power over Talon.”
Lethiason looked at her skeptically. “You hold far more power over him than you know.”
Chelan squirmed. “Regardless, he is uncharacteristically… human.”
“Well, I guess it will remain a mystery for now.”
Chelan settled into her chair. “I am assuming there are other women around here?”
Lethiason simply nodded.
“Why have I never seen any?”
“Well, I am afraid ROPE had a little more trouble with the breeding of women than did the previous Empire. For some reason, despite the Iceanean stock, the ROPE women scored lower on 3-D acuity than their Imperial counterparts. That significantly affects depth perception, the ability to analyze 3-D displays, and fighter operation. Therefore, their induction into the military has been on a much smaller scale. It is a glitch being worked on, however.”
Chelan mulled over the information. “Are they still equals?”
Lethiason nodded. “In every way they can be, except for strength and for what I just mentioned.”
“I mean in personal relations and in your society in general.”
Lethiason smiled. “I mean that too.”
Chelan took a deep breath, suddenly becoming uncomfortable. “You told me to accept Talon totally. Does that include physically?”
Lethiason was quiet. “Why? Has something happened?”
Chelan rolled her eyes. “Why can’t you just answer the question?”
“Sorry. Ah, I have no doubts that if you accepted him completely, including physically, you would be just that much better off.”
“Why are you so concerned about me? And don’t give me that ‘I have admired you from afar’ rhetoric. You are of a high enough rank to get what you want. Why push me to Talon?”
“I may be able to get everything I want, my Lady, but that would never include that which Talon pursues exclusively for himself.”
Chelan’s voice hitched at that revelation, but she cleared her throat. “He has granted me my unconditional freedom. I may now leave here at any time.”
Lethiason’s eyebrows rose. But he did not speak.
Chelan leaned forward. “You did not expect that, did you?”
“No.”
“Why so despondent? It means I can do as I wish and be with whom I please, even you.”
Lethiason shook his head. “No, my Lady. That is not entirely true. Besides, you are better off with him.”
Chelan was exasperated. “God, what am I missing here? What aren’t you telling me? Why would I be better off with him?”
“You know it would be true.”
“I know nothing of the sort! My history with Talon aside, I do not want to be by the side of a man at the top again. They have huge targets on their backs. And ignoring that, why do you not accept my invitation?”
“Because I want the best for you.”
“Okay, let me put it out there very clearly. I hate Talon. I despise him. You, on the other hand, appear to be quite civilized. And even though you are also at the top, you are less of a target. Therefore, you are best for me.”
Lethiason remained very still.
Chelan studied him. “There is more to this than you say,” she accused.
Lethiason nodded slowly. “It is very complicated, my Lady.”
“Would you care to take the time to enlighten me?”
“No, my Lady. I dare not. And for the record, I turn your invitation down. You are better off with Talon, if you can possibly stomach it. In fact, it is imperative that you do.”
Chelan sat back in her chair and gnawed at her cheek. She looked off into the distance. “I tried to kill him yesterday.”
Lethiason nearly fell off the edge of the bed. “You what?”
Chelan looked at him casually. “I stabbed him.”
Lethiason’s mouth dropped. “You tried?”
“No. I did.”
“Oh, hell, Chelan—and you are still here?”
Chelan nodded. “Not only that, he granted me my freedom, as I said, and he granted me himself.”
Lethiason braced himself. “And…?”
“That is why I am here with you. And quite frankly, you are not helping the situation. To say I am perplexed is an understatement.”
“I guess so,” he mumbled.
“One minute, I try to kill him, and the next, he tells me he wants to share all with me. He grants me my total freedom, including from him, yet he wants me to accept him both as an Emperor and as a man. And on top of it all, I don’t even know what all that implies, or entails.”
Lethiason cleared his throat. “You just told me that you still hate him.”
Chelan sighed. “I fibbed. I mean, sometimes I do. But now, at other times… Oh, I don’t know. I have been here in the Palace over one very long year, and I still don’t know what I feel. My emotions are fluid. I just need you to provide me with information, and then maybe I can figure a few things out.”
“Okay. To accept him as Emperor means to accept a role by his side as Empress, as you were with Korba.”
Chelan’s eyes widened with disbelief.
Lethiason continued. “To accept him as a man implies an additional bond.”
Chelan was leery. “What kind of bond?”
“Our culture differs slightly from that of the old Empire. As you know, we do not have the Let. But we do have marriage. Unlike the Let, it demands sexual fidelity.” Lethiason tensed. “If you accept him as a man, you accept him as your husband… exclusively.”
Chelan felt a tremor run through her. “Can I accept a role next to him as Empress without a marriage?”
Lethiason looked down and thought awhile. “Possibly, but unlikely.”
“Can I simply live on in the Palace, work here, integrate here, and be separate from him?”
“Given what you have told me, I suppose, but your freedom in that situation would be limited.”
“How so?”
“I am sure he would accept that arrangement on some level, but the man wants you as so much more. He will be fiercely protective over you, and for good reason.”
“And why do I dread asking why…”
Lethiason rubbed at his brow.
“You were mated to the Emperor of the old regime. You should have been eliminated long ago, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why you haven’t been. That means you render him vulnerable just as you did Dar and Korba.”
“Oh hell!”
Lethiason’s brows rose. “He is a target—always will be. You are his weakness.”
Chelan let her head drop back. “I do not believe this. Does the nightmare never end?”
“Look,” said Lethiason. “Whether you like it or not, you are under lock and key. Heading out into the general population is unwise for more reasons than I can list. You may live within the Palace, but you will still be watched. And as far as other men—well, I doubt any would chance the ire of his Majesty.”
Chelan scratched at her head. “I do not know why, despite all you have said, but I sense that for some reason it is imperative that I accept him as both Emperor and man, my supposed well-being aside.” She looked deep into Lethiason’s eyes. The man was rigid.
Finally, he spoke. “It would indeed be the wise thing to do, my Lady.”
Chelan’s eyes narrowed. “What do you hide, Lethiason?”
He shook his head slowly.
Chelan took a deep breath. Clearly, further interrogating the great Commander on this topic would be an exercise in futility. She rested her chin on her ebony fist. “So, tell me… where does Talon sleep?”
Lethiason relaxed, obviously relieved by the change of topic. “In quarters near the main Command area.”
Chelan nodded. “Does he stay with anyone else?”
Lethiason grinned. “Like who?”
Chelan grinned back. “Like with other women?”
Lethiason chuckled. “He is far from devoid of experience, my Lady, if that is what you wish to know.”
“Of that, I have no doubt.”
“However, he shuns participation with our Guild—a personality quirk he shares with Korba. And since he took on the old Empire, Talon has had precious little time to engage the other sex. In fact, what little time he takes away from his work, he spends bantering with you.”
Chelan nodded absently. Then she stared off into space. “He told me why he killed my son.”
Lethiason looked down. “And?”
Chelan shook her head. “I don’t know what to think.”
“War is never pleasant.”
“He should have let me go. I could have gone to any planet and lived out my life with my son.”
Lethiason lips thinned. “In a perfect universe, maybe. But the galaxy knew Talon had you, and in the end, the whole new Empire knew of your pregnancy. To release you with Dar’s child would have been pure folly. You would have been ferreted out and your son, at the very least, used as a bargaining tool for some nefarious purpose. At the worst, he would have been used against Talon.”
“Collateral damage,” she whispered.
Lethiason watched her closely. “If it helps at all, and I seriously doubt it will, Talon himself did not administer the fatal drug.”
Chelan looked at him with grievous eyes. “I know. I saw.” She took a deep and shaky breath. “You have been a big help, Lethiason.”
He nodded. “I hope so. I want you to know that from now on, it appears I am here for just that.”
“Talon said I had a lot to think about.”
“And so you do, my Lady. You could conceivably have an Empire to think about, along with the man who runs it.”
Chelan looked down for a long time. “Would I be betraying Korba?”
Lethiason hesitated. “In essence, on a very personal level, you already did, my Lady.” He stared at her. “And as far as anything to do with Talon, I can’t answer that one. I knew Korba well enough to know he would want the best for you. He would have wanted you to move on. And he would have wanted you to remain at the top. I don’t think he could have foreseen this, however. You will have to follow your heart.”
Chelan fought against the blow delivered by the obvious truth. In accepting Dar and her pregnancy by him, she had long ago betrayed Korba. But she could no longer afford to wallow in the quagmire of guilt brought on by those acts. Only if the two men had confronted one another in her presence would she have ever known if she had made the right decision. It was all moot now. “Follow my heart,” she whispered to herself. “And your recommendations, I assume.”
Lethiason nodded.
Chelan looked at the wall. “When I was Letted to Korba, I still had Dar and Fremma. That would have been unacceptable on Earth. But I eventually adjusted to it and came to embrace it with all my heart. How could I not when so much was offered to me by three such regal men.” She looked deep into Lethiason’s eyes. “In the end, I gave my fidelity to Dar, but he was stripped from me. And now, having been immersed in the mores of the old Empire for so long, I am no longer sure I could be bound to one man forever.”
“But remember,” Lethiason cautioned, “all three of them accepted your Earth values, protecting and loving you while forsaking all others. If they had participated in a true Let with one of their own, they, too, could have had other lovers. Could you have handled that?”
“No,” she answered honestly. “Not then. But maybe now… I am still not sure.”
“Then, my Lady, in a way, an arrangement entered into with Talon would be more equitably balanced. Both of you would forsake all others.”
Chelan looked away and nodded weakly. “That would not be a problem. Right now, another man, in any capacity, is the last thing I want.”
“Well, at the moment, Talon is forcing your hand. Anyway,” he added, rising, “I feel you need some time to think on your own.”
Chelan rose beside him. “You are right,” she whispered almost wearily. She smiled up at him, nodded to him in respect and took her leave.
Chapter 15
For the next few days, Chelan remained on her own, spending countless hours deep in thought and on the computer, her mental gymnastics put to rest only during her workouts. She spent much of her time now in the little blue room off the workout area. The room had been exclusively Korba’s, and for reasons Chelan did not know, Talon never chose to violate its sanctity.
She had taken everything Lethiason had said to heart. If she was going to be essentially contained to the Palace, she might as well try to make the most of some of the advantages that would accompany her title, not the least of which was heightened protection. But above that came the opportunity to find purpose. She needed to have goals in her life once again, and how better to find meaning than with the endless opportunities afforded to her by being bound to the man at the top. Through him, she could accomplish so much, find her own causes, and follow her own passions. That was now her true goal and the driving force behind any fragments of optimism she now harbored. She wanted to help others, plain and simple.
She was, she realized, treating the whole decision-making process as if she were considering an arranged marriage, meticulously and methodically weighing the pros and cons. After all, it seemed to be destiny, with the concept of love never entering into the process.
Her thoughts were always tempered by the fact that when her Warlords had died, so had a huge part of herself. She was just that much more hardened, just that much less willing to trust, to share, and to love. Though at times, recently, she had found herself looking at Talon in a different light, it was never one of love. Now and then, she actually wanted his presence simply for company, not considering anything remotely physical.
Plus, she had to admit, with her hostility toward and all-out hatred of the man now diluted by time and circumstance, she was becoming fascinated by the person who had managed to defeat the most powerful Empire ever to exist. Ticees had fallen easily at the hands of the men who were the backbone of his Empire. But for another to take down Korba and his elite was indeed a momentous feat. By becoming Talon’s partner—the only term she could actually stomach—she would become privy to the inner workings of the magnificent mind behind the new Empire.
On a m
ore personal side, complicating everything was the fact that Talon looked so much like her previous mate. Because of that, she was never sure she trusted her instincts with respect to the new Emperor. Was she beginning to accept him as a separate entity, or was she subconsciously accepting Korba’s image.
Regardless, the cold, hard realities of her Iceanean life came down to one inescapable fact: If Lethiason was right, Talon was not going to let her strike up any other sort of relationship within the Palace walls. To find intimate companionship, if she ever wanted it, she would have to turn him down and leave, and leaving was really not a realistic option. In truth, she still mourned her men deeply, and the thought of trying to find anyone who even came close to them caused her to shut down emotionally. There would never be anyone like them, and in her mind, there would never be true love again.
She frowned. There was that odd emotional sensation again. She did grieve for her men deeply, and she always would, but what of her infant son? Over the months, the more she tried to think about him, the further he had receded. Though her memory of his birth was still as sharp as ever, with time her emotions were detaching just that much more.
She wished she knew more about psychology. Obviously, something was affecting her sensations, but whether that was good or bad, for the moment she could not tell.
Her thoughts scattered as she lay on the large bed, cradled by the voluminous pillows. She stared up at ceiling, warmed by fleeting memories of her little blue planet. Now it was down to the crunch. Could she accept Talon completely? Could she actually lie with him? Chelan closed her eyes. What would Korba have wanted her to do? To go on? Yes. To rise to the top? Yes. But to lie with his killer? Chelan shuddered. She needed more time, yet she wondered if time would ever solve her dilemma.
*****
More days passed, and soon Chelan was an emotional wreck. For some strange reason, Lethiason seemed to be unavailable or possibly detained in some manner. As a result, in addition to all the stress of her great indecision surrounding Talon, an all-consuming loneliness was gnawing at her bones, threatening to break her down.
