“Mitchell?” Dawn’s voice was quiet, but it didn’t shake.
He stiffened. “Yes?”
“What are we doing?” she asked again. She’d asked before, but he hadn’t answered honestly. Of course, he had no idea what they were doing, so it wasn’t as if he could truly reply.
“I don’t know,” he finally said, as honest as he could be. He slid his hands through her hair, and his wolf growled at him.
“That’s not a good enough answer.” She wasn’t looking at him but still held onto him as tightly as he did her.
“I’m not a good bet,” he growled out. “I’m…I’m not going to be your mate.”
She backed up slightly so she could look him in the face. “Did I ask you to be?”
His claws pricked at his skin, his wolf pushing at him, and he shook his head. “No, but this attraction? If we aren’t careful, it could lead to the one thing I can’t do.”
“Are you going to tell me why?”
“I can’t.” His voice didn’t break, but it was close.
“I can respect that,” she said, surprising the hell out of him. “We all have our reasons and secrets. But, Mitchell? I never said I wanted a mate. I don’t.”
“You say that now…”
“Don’t put words into my mouth, Mitchell Brentwood. You might be older, but you don’t know what I’m thinking or feeling. There’s attraction between us, that’s for sure, but we don’t have to do anything about it. Or, we can let our hormones rule for just this instant and know that there’s no future. We’re shifters. We’re sexual creatures and need touch to survive. So, we could give in to this temptation and know that nothing will come of it. And, frankly, that’s okay with me. I don’t want a mate. I’m not ready for one, and I sure as hell don’t want one who wants nothing to do with that level of bonding.”
He blinked at her, surprised as hell by her words yet turned on at the same time. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He didn’t want to hurt himself either. He couldn’t get too close. Because if he did, and he ended up losing her, he’d break what was left of him. As it was, there wasn’t that much to give.
She shook her head even as her teeth pressed into her lip. “You’re not going to. But we can’t keep dancing around each other, kissing like we can’t get enough of one another and then hiding from it. We’re both here. We’re both adults.” She blew out a breath. “I’m not a virgin, you know. I have had sexual relationships before.”
He held back a growl, annoyed with himself for feeling any jealousy for a man he didn’t know. “Don’t talk about other men when you’re in my arms.”
She snorted. “You’re getting all growly, and yet you’re keeping yourself at a distance. My wolf wants you, Mitchell, and heck, so does the human part of me. We don’t have to hold back from one another, not completely. And for all we know, we’re not even potentials since mating bonds are so murky nowadays. We’ll be careful.”
“I don’t have a condom,” he bit out. “No marking, that’s something we can control. But once I’m inside you, I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to pull out. That’s not safe anyway.” They didn’t have diseases since they were shifters, and they couldn’t have children unless they were mated, but once he came inside her, he had a feeling the start of the mating bond would let its presence be known.
She bit her lip and tugged at the messenger bag she’d been wearing throughout the day. “I have one in my wallet.”
He blinked at her, surprised but eager. His wolf was damn ready, and hell, so was the man.
“I’ve uh…never been with a wolf before, and it’s always good to have protection with humans especially when you’re hiding who you are. I keep a couple on me in case I’m ever in a situation with a guy I like—”
He kissed her hard, stopping her words. “Never feel like you need to justify being safe to me.” He kissed her again. “No promises?” he asked, knowing he would probably hurt them both.
“Just help me feel.” She bit his chin, and his dick hardened more. “After yesterday and today…I need to feel.”
She wasn’t alone, and damn it, he couldn’t hold back anymore. He’d been refusing himself for so long, denying who he was and what she could be with him, that he had to give in.
So he leaned close and pressed his lips to hers, craving, needing, demanding. Her nails dug into his chest, and he growled, deepening the kiss while tugging at her hair so he could pull her head back slightly.
“Just us,” he growled into her mouth. “You and me. Just…” He couldn’t say “no strings” because that would be a lie, and he wasn’t that much of a bastard, but he wasn’t sure what else he could say.
“I get it.” She bit his lip. “Stop worrying about hurting me and make me feel.”
Wordlessly, he picked her up by her waist and kissed her harder, his breath coming in pants, and his cock straining at his jeans. She wrapped her legs around him, and he walked over to the nearby tree that shaded the small patch of grass they were on and pressed her into it.
“Am I hurting you?” he asked, licking down her neck and shoulder.
“No. I need…I need…” She couldn’t seem to voice what she needed, but when she arched her hips into him he got the idea.
So he tugged her closer while keeping his mouth on her and then laid them both down on the ground. He knelt above her and stripped off his shirt, needing skin-to-skin contact. Dawn sat up so she was right underneath him and slowly ran her hand down his chest before leaning forward and kissing right beneath his heart.
He froze, his wolf rising at the touch of her soft lips against his skin. When she looked up and met his gaze before looking down just a little at the three scars on his pec, he sucked in a breath. Since he was a shifter and got shirtless before shifting and when he worked outside in the heat, he’d never hidden the scars. However, no one had ever touched them beyond when he fought or trained and it was an accident. Dawn hadn’t touched him either just then, but it was close enough to make him freeze.
The three jagged scars were right over his heart, and he still remembered the exact day he got them. He knew the empty hole that he’d been trying to dig out when he sliced through his own flesh, trying to tear out what hurt the most.
His heart.
He hadn’t succeeded, but damn if some days he didn’t wish he had.
“I’m sorry,” Dawn whispered, bringing him back to the present.
He shook his head. “Don’t be. They’re just scars.” A lie, but one he wished was the truth. “Keep touching me.” It was an order, but from the way her eyes darkened, he knew she liked it.
He slid his shirt underneath her before pressing her down to the ground and slowly working his way down her body. He nibbled and sucked over her clothes before stripping her completely. Bare before him, she was a goddess. Long, lean lines with breasts big enough to overfill his large hands, and hips that flared out just enough for him to grab onto later so he could fill her to the brim. His cock ached, but he didn’t release himself from the confines of his jeans. Instead, he lowered himself over her and gently bit down on her nipple.
She slid her hand through his hair while keeping herself upright slightly with her other arm. He growled low, the sensation vibrating through them both. He sucked one nipple into his mouth while palming her other breast, loving the way she so easily responded to his touch. It had been what felt like forever since he’d had the warm touch of a woman beneath him, and he wasn’t going to waste this time worrying about what would happen next.
That would come later.
After giving his attention to her other breast, he lowered himself even more down her body, kissing her stomach and hips before kneeling between her legs.
“I need to taste you,” he growled.
Her eyes widened. “Uh…I’ve never…”
His wolf growled at that, and the human half of him relished her words. He would be the first. He was officially a caveman, and he didn’t care. “Your humans never wanted to eat
you out? Never sucked on this clit of yours as it peeks out of its little hood?” He ran his thumb over her, pressing down on the little nub as he spoke. They both groaned when she arched her hips into his hand.
“They said they didn’t like it.”
“Fools.” He shook his head. “Making a woman come with your mouth is one of the sexiest things in the known universe.” He lowered his head and lapped at her with his tongue. She arched again, moaning his name. “So fucking sweet.” He kissed his way around her before flicking his tongue over and over against her clit. He hummed low while using his fingers to tease her entrance. He knew she was close to coming the moment he slid one finger inside her wet heat. “Come, Dawn. Come around my finger and on my face.” He sucked harder on her clit, and she screamed, pressing her pussy right against him as her inner walls clamped down around him.
Before she could finish coming down from her peak, however, he quickly stripped out of his jeans, careful not to fall over like an idiot in his hurry, then slid the single condom they’d found over his dick and leaned over to flip her onto her hands and knees.
“This position okay?” he growled out, his cock so hard he was afraid he’d burst at the first feel of her.
She nodded, but he needed to hear her words. He tugged on her hair slightly, forcing her gaze to his.
“Words, baby. I need your words.”
“Yes, I’m good like this.” She swallowed hard. “You made me a nest with our clothes to protect my knees. Now, please, I need you inside me.”
He growled, positioned himself at her entrance, and pushed deeply inside. His body shook at the feel of her all warm and tight around him, and he had to hold his wolf back from wanting to take over and go harder and faster.
There was just something about the woman in his arms that made him want to lose control.
“Ready for me to move?” he asked, his voice a low growl.
In answer, she moved backward, pressing her sweet curves right against his hips. “Move. Now.”
He couldn’t help but grin at her tone. For as soft and sweet as she was, she was no submissive. She gave as hard as she got, and now that Mitchell was inside her, he was afraid he’d never want to leave.
Too far.
Don’t hurt her.
Don’t forget what you lost.
He pushed aside those thoughts and pulled out of her before slamming back in. They both growled, and he kept up the pace, the demanding rhythm he knew would send them both over the edge too soon.
Knowing that with her on all fours in front of him and him going deeper with each stroke it would be too much, he pulled out again, and this time, rolled over onto his back, bringing her with him.
“Ride me,” he growled, his wolf in his tone.
She bit her lip as she slid herself over his length, rocking her hips as soon as she was fully seated. If he’d thought she felt good before…goddess help him. From this position, he could see the way her breasts bounced as she rode him, how her hair blew in the wind when she threw back her head and gave him everything.
He thrust in and out of her from below, his cock straining within the condom. “Eyes. I need your eyes.”
She looked down at him, her face flushed, and her lips parted. “I’m going to come again.”
“Now.” And as soon as she arched her hips, one hand on her breast, the other on his chest, he came with her, filling the condom instead of her like he could have done with any other shifter.
Because there had been a reason they used a condom just then. Something neither of them had wanted to leave to chance.
The same reason that left him in a cold sweat instead of the heated haze he should have been in with a limp and sated Dawn sprawled over his chest.
“I need to go,” he said softly, one hand on her back, the other on her butt, keeping her steady. It was a shit thing to say when he was still inside her, but it was all too much.
He hadn’t been with a woman since Heather. Hadn’t come with anyone or anything but his hand in so long, he was surprised he still knew the moves. And now he was wrapped around a woman that could easily break him if he gave her a chance.
He’d already shattered once before.
He wasn’t sure he could do it again.
Dawn sat up, confusion on her face for a bare instant before she nodded and slid off him.
“You should check on your den.” It was an easy out, but she was the kind of woman who would give him that.
He didn’t deserve her, didn’t merit anything she could give. “I can walk you home.”
She shook her head and gathered up her clothes. “No…no I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
When she blew out a breath, he wanted to wound himself and add another scar rather than hurt her like he was, but he could barely breathe. The cascading hurt at what he’d done, at how he’d betrayed his mate by laying with another woman slammed into him with such force, he knew he needed to get control of his emotions.
This wasn’t Dawn’s fault, and there had been a reason he’d stayed away for so long. And yet… he couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss her softly. He couldn’t hurt her, not when she’d done nothing out of anger or to hurt him. She was just that amazing, and he couldn’t walk away now and leave her cold in the forest.
“I’m going to walk you at least to the edge of the trees,” he said softly. “And then later, we can talk.” He swallowed hard. “I just need…” He couldn’t finish his thoughts, but Dawn leaned into his hand when he cupped her face and gave him a sad smile.
“I need time to think, too. I get it, Mitchell. I do. Don’t beat yourself up.”
And with that, she began getting dressed as he did the same, taking care of the condom with a tissue he had in his pocket before reaching out and sliding his hand over hers.
He honestly had no idea what he was doing, and he knew that they would both end up hurt and fractured in the end, yet he couldn’t stay away. His wolf pushed at him even as it wanted to hide from what Dawn could mean to them, and that just meant the human half of him was even more confused.
His time with her just then had rocked his world, just like the earthquake had done earlier.
And now he had to live with the consequences.
Again.
AIMEE
Aimee twisted to the side and stared at the bruises forming on her ribcage. She’d fallen hard on Walker’s chest after she collapsed through the wards, but she hadn’t thought she would end up with so many black and blue marks because of it.
She had no idea why she’d reacted like she did when she walked through the wards that stood to protect Dawn’s family.
She had no idea why she bruised so easily these days.
She had no idea why she was so tired and sick all the time.
She had no idea why everything seemed to be crushing down on her all at once so she couldn’t breathe.
Aimee lowered her shirt and leaned down over her sink so she could splash cold water on her face. The coolness shocked her system just enough to add a slight boost of energy that she so desperately needed. No matter how many vitamins and supplements she took, she never seemed to catch up. She’d seen doctors and specialists, and they told her over and over again that there was nothing wrong with her.
Yet she knew there was.
There had to be.
And Aimee didn’t know how long she would be able to put the fake smile on her face and keep going.
She was just so tired.
Her fingers brushed along her side again, and she remembered the hard chest she’d fallen on.
Walker.
There was just something about him…
And yet she knew it wouldn’t lead to anything. It couldn’t.
She didn’t have the kind of time it would take to find out who the man beneath her touch was.
She didn’t have any kind of time at all.
WALKER
Walker held Fallon to his chest and tried to soothe her cries. While shifters
didn’t get as many diseases as humans since their immune systems were stronger, babies still got colicky. As a Healer, it killed him that he couldn’t make everything go away and end up with perfectly happy and healthy babies, but his powers could at least soothe the ache so his future Alpha could sleep.
Of course, that meant the current Alpha and his mate would be able to sleep eventually, as well. As of now, Brie was finally asleep, though she’d put up a good fight to stay awake for her baby girl. Walker figured she was able to let go enough to let her eyes close because her growling mate stood by Walker’s side, watching every move he made while Fallon cried herself—hopefully—to sleep.
Walker swayed side to side, the ties that connected him to Fallon, as well as his Healer bonds wrapping around the little girl to soothe her lungs and aching throat. After a few more minutes of swaying and singing softly under his breath, the little girl drifted off, the fist wrapped in his shirt loosening its grip.
Gideon took his daughter from Walker in the next instant, holding her to his chest. The little girl let out a tiny growl before resting her cheek on the bare skin peeking out at Gideon’s collar and then falling back to sleep with a small smile on her face.
“Thank you,” Gideon mouthed, and Walker gave his brother a nod before picking up his stuff and heading out of the house. He’d had a long day, and knew he needed to rest and refill his energy stores if he wanted to stay upright and do his job tomorrow.
He rubbed the back of his neck and headed back to his place. He’d gone to the Centrals’ today to help train others and hadn’t been able to do what he planned. He might go back tomorrow, but it depended on how things went in the morning with those who had been injured within his own den during the earthquake. They had a lot to clean up as well, and he didn’t want to leave those in need. He just didn’t like the fact that he hadn’t been able to live up to his promises—yet. So when he could, he’d go back to the den and help Dawn’s people.
Destiny Disgraced Page 10
