I stomped out of my bedroom and toward the living room. At some point, she had turned the television off and basked the room in darkness. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, but I found her lying on her side, curled into a ball.
My body was possessed as I bent in front of her and lifted her into my arms.
“What are you doing?” she asked and I heard the slightest catch in her voice from a sob. Fuck, she had been crying. My hands instinctively tightened their hold on her.
Between clenched teeth, I replied, “You’re not sleeping on the fucking couch. If you’re going to sleep, you’ll sleep in an actual bed.” Unceremoniously I dropped her on the opposite side of my bed, sneering as she bounced.
“I don’t want to sleep in your bed. You’ll probably try to suffocate me.”
I moved to my side of the bed in the blackness and slipped between the sheets again.
“Not today, princess. Then I’d have no one to argue with.”
I chuckled at her answering growl and turned my body away so that my back was facing her. The bed moved up and down as she tried to settle into place. Finally, the mattress stopped shifting and I closed my eyes, thankful that my mind seemed clear.
Sleep was claiming me swiftly and I was falling under its spell when I heard the faintest whisper. “Thank you, Ford.”
I knew that I should probably respond; that was the gentlemanly thing to do. But as Jolee claimed, I was no gentleman. And she was turning into a disruption that could ruin everything.
On instinct, I woke at 5 a.m. since that was the time that I usually headed to the gym. My body turned toward Jolee, and as if my brain knew that I would be tempted to touch her in my sleep, my arms tightened across my chest. The sheet was pooled at my waist but wrapped tightly around Jolee’s body. Mounds of hair covered her face and I reached out, gently sliding the silky strands behind her.
She looked serene in her state of sleep, her full pink lips softly parted as she exhaled. My touch lingered longer than I intended and as I tucked my hand back under my arm she moved slightly. I couldn’t look away, wondering how someone could sleep so peacefully. I always had too much on my mind to succumb to a night of full and dreamless sleep, but regardless of what Jolee had been through the night before, she seemed to feel safe enough to sleep in my bed.
Her lips moved slightly as if she was speaking to someone in her dream and I couldn’t turn away. I wondered what it would be like to taste those lips, to nibble at the soft skin, to feel my tongue slip between them. And I hated myself for that wayward thinking, it was turning me into someone I didn’t know, someone I could never be.
She chose that moment to open her eyes, blinking a few times as she remembered where she was. With her defenses long forgotten, Jolee gazed at me in a way that I recognized, that familiar heady glaze longing for a kiss. Except I couldn’t allow myself to let her any closer.
Turning over, I sat up and placed my feet on the floor, giving her a view of my bare back. “Go back to sleep,” I bit out as I stood, glancing around my room for my discarded jeans, eyeing them at the foot of the bed. I angrily tugged them on, leaving the top button unclasped.
It wasn’t until I reached for my phone that I noticed her hurt expression. I didn’t know what to say because I wasn’t at liberty to make her feel better. Thankfully she turned back over and faced the window, making sure to tug extra hard on the sheets.
I left the room in a hurry, treading heavily into the bathroom to relieve myself, then made my way to the kitchen. I had a nagging feeling that I had screwed up and karma was making sure that I completely understood the ramifications. When I went to start the coffee maker, the container of grounds spilled at my feet as I popped the lid. Then when I went to grab the broom to clean up, I pinched my finger closing the closet door. While I was busy cursing my lousy luck, Link chose that moment to walk into the kitchen as if he had had the best sleep of his life.
“I got a hold of the maintenance guy and he’s installing Jolee’s new lock as we speak.”
Well, that was freaking fast.
“Where is she, by the way?”
“I let her sleep in my room.” I scowled up at him.
“Mmhmm. That’s an interesting turn of events.”
With a final scoop into the dustpan, I stood and dumped its contents into the trash.
“I know what you’re doing, Link.”
“Do you?” he asked. He wanted me to question myself, wanted me to change my no dating rule in favor of a particular blonde neighbor.
“Yes, I-,” I began until said blonde marched into the living room and looked around the space aimlessly. “You’re supposed to be sleeping.” I was hot, but not the good kind. The kind that made me want to lift her over my shoulder and toss her back into my bedroom until those dark smudges under her eyes disappeared.
“Well, I’m not. And to be honest, I’d like to make sure that no one sees me or gets the idea that I willingly spent the night here.” Reaching down, Jolee bent at the waist before standing up with her bag in hand. “Did you say the maintenance man was installing my lock now?” She looked at Link specifically and he nodded in response, probably as shocked as I was to feel the full wrath of her venom. “Great. Thank you for saving me,” Jolee said as she lifted on her toes and pressed her lips against Link’s cheek.
Clenching my hands into fists, I realized that I might kill my brother as we watched her open our door and leave the apartment.
We both stood there silently, long after she left. She had taken my cruelty and thrown it back at me.
“What the hell just happened?”
With a heavy sigh, I finally unclenched my fists as I said, “I gave her a reason to hate me again.”
My older brother, the one who taught me right from wrong and how to properly throw a punch, turned toward me, his face full of disdain and disappointment.
I kept my secrets close to my chest, but my family knew that I never wanted to get tangled up with a woman. A quick lay? Sure? But a serious relationship? That was not in the cards. I had major trust issues, and the more I learned of my birth father, the more I was afraid that the deck wasn’t ever going to deal in my favor.
“She’d like her.”
“Tracy likes everyone.”
“She does, but I wasn’t talking about her. I was talking about your mom,” Link added as he sat down on the couch, gripped the remote control, and turned on the television.
But fuck if he wasn’t right. Mom would love the fire in Jolee.
And that just gave me another reason to stay away.
Chapter Seven – Jolee
It had been two weeks since I stormed away from Ford’s apartment. Nothing had changed; he was still as irritating as ever, doing whatever he could to get a rise out of me. I couldn’t wait for Thanksgiving, for no other reason than I wouldn’t have to see his gorgeous face for a few days.
Growing up, I had always been friendly, even to the school bully, never giving anyone a reason to be unkind toward me. Of course, that all changed in high school when David moved to our town. He was not only the new guy, but he was all-American beautiful. Blond hair and blue eyes, large build – he was a teen heartthrob. And he was popular from day one. When he showed interest in me, the average girl in his homeroom, everything changed. The girls became catty and vicious, and I learned that if I tried to ignore them, things only got worse. So I quickly learned how to turn the tables.
I shuddered at the thought of how much worse things had transpired. It was why I desperately needed out of our town in Anchorage. My parents didn’t understand, but they had other things on their mind. Anything having to do with me was always a second thought.
Joe’s Diner was just on the outskirts of campus and it was where Sarah, Keeley, and I met for lunch on the days we had economics together, but they were both sick with the stomach bug going around the school. It seemed that almost everyone had been on the receiving end of the virus — everyone except me, Ford, and a couple of students. E
ven with the room nearly empty this morning, he still made it a point to sit in the seat directly behind me and irritate me throughout the lecture. He had resorted to not just kicking my chair, but leaning over his small desk and poking my shoulder with his pen.
Keeley had asked me on numerous occasions why I didn’t just move over one more chair, but I explained to her that it was the principle of the thing. And at this point in the game, I was pretty sure that he would simply move behind wherever I sat.
Since I left his apartment, I had tried to think of a way to apologize to Link. He had been gracious and caring, after all. I had considered making him dinner or baking him a dessert and dropping it off at his apartment, but the thought of running into Ford outside of class was too much.
To be honest, I wasn’t sure how I would react if we were in close confines again. I was fairly certain I would either smack Ford or spew hateful words that I couldn’t take back. My embarrassment from that morning wouldn’t allow me to consider any other options.
Leaning back in the chair, the wrought iron of the café chair digging into my back, I recalled waking up in his bed. I had woken up about an hour earlier, my body not used to getting so much sleep, and gazed at him. Even in the bleakness of night, I could see how peaceful and serene Ford appeared, the anger that he carried and weighed him down long forgotten. He was a beautiful man, and with his defenses down, I could truly see the kind of man he could be lurking just beneath the surface. I had fallen back to sleep with a small grin on my face and dreamt of him. When I woke again, I was still partly lost in my vision and yearned for the kiss that was about to take place. Except, the Ford staring back at me was real, and yet, I still wanted his kiss. I wasn’t surprised that he turned down my silent plea. And when he stormed from the room, I had been furious and surprised at myself. He was mean and callous on most days, so his reaction wasn’t unrealistic. But I had no desire to be one of Ford’s hanger-ons. I had dreams of my own, big plans that needed my focus, and they didn’t involve an attention-seeking boy.
Reaching down I searched through my bag for my notebook and a pen, wanting to add to my notes for the rescue I planned to open one day, but just as I bent forward, someone knocked into my chair causing it to jerk and my head to collide with the edge of the table.
“Son of a beach,” I cried out, forgetting the notebook and pen as I pressed my hand to my head.
I spun around quickly in my chair, which brought me face to face with my nemesis sitting in a chair at the table behind me.
“So, what? We’re moving on to physical harm now?” I argued, the throbbing of the goose egg forming beneath my scalp immediately caused my head to ache.
Ford shrugged his shoulders innocently. “All I did was nudge your chair accidentally.”
“Accidentally?”
“And maybe that guy over there was headed your way.” He pointed with his chin toward a man in a red shirt, his back to me. “He isn’t your type.”
My stare lingered on the man’s back. I may not have needed a relationship, but a night of sex didn’t sound too bad.
Turning back to Ford, who gazed at me smugly, I said, “So, you’re now giving relationship advice? Well, let me clue you in, Ford O’Brien, that I have zero desire for a boyfriend.” My voice was escalating as I spoke and I was drawing the attention of the few students surrounding us, but I didn’t care. “Maybe what I want is a night of hot sex. Did you ever consider that?” My brain had wanted to say, “With you,” but I stopped before I could make that colossal mistake. If Ford even had the slightest inkling of the things that I imagined doing with him, to him, he would use it to his advantage.
“Enjoy your lunch, Ford. I’ve now lost my appetite.”
Somehow I managed to carry my head high as I walked away from the open-air café. But the moment I turned the corner, my shoulders slouched, and my feet dragged. Arguing with Ford was exhausting, probably because it wasn’t my usual MO. Hopefully, we’d only have a few more weeks of being in each other’s presence. Of course, knowing Ford, he’d find a way to terrorize me. Probably making sure he’s in at least one of my classes every semester.
Irritated at that thought, I made my way over to my last class of the day, anticipating the late night that I had ahead of me. Being at work meant that there was zero chance of running into Ford for at least a handful of hours. And right now, I needed that reprieve.
Dr. Allen could sense that I needed to lose my mind in trivial work when I arrived and she gave me carte blanche to complete any of the ancillary tasks that the office required. I had never felt so fulfilled vacuuming dog and cat hair or mucking kennels.
That night, I was volunteering at the animal shelter, so I only had a few minutes to grab a quick dinner. I walked down the street and into the fast-food dining room, ordered a cheeseburger, and shoveled it down in record time. I probably looked homeless with a faded shirt and stained jeans, and a large duffle bag that was strewn across my body. The days I worked at the animal shelter, I always showered and changed before leaving. I spent a lot of one on one time with the animals and cleaning and didn’t like to bring that into the apartment. The staff didn’t seem to mind either because I was more than happy to take care of some of the dirtier tasks that they needed. If I was going to open a rescue one day, I needed to understand all aspects of animal care.
Technicians greeted me the moment I walked through the back door of the shelter and hung up my duffle bag in my locker. A task list was posted on the door for the volunteers and I got to work, marking off the items as I went. It was midnight before one of the overnight technicians got a hold of me.
“Hey, Jolee,” Ken called out. He was tall with light brown hair, brown eyes, and a kind smile. Not much older than myself, we spent a lot of time chatting while I worked the later hours. He was attractive in the boy-next-door sort of way, but he was also happily engaged to his high school sweetheart.
“Hey, Ken,” I replied as I washed my hands at the back sink after cleaning some of the lab equipment.
“We just got a call about a dog that was hit by a car. The owner is bringing him in. I know you’re probably on your way out, but do you think you can stay for a while longer. With the stomach bug going around, we could use an extra hand in surgery.”
This was one of those catch-22 moments that I both loved and hated. Being asked to assist or even watch a surgery felt like acing an exam. I loved witnessing doctors work their magic to save an animal’s life. But the need for an operation at all broke my heart. I had seen some horrific things in the few years I had been a part of animal medicine, and with my career path, I was sure that I would observe more.
“Sure, Ken. I’d be happy to stay.”
“Thanks. You’re a lifesaver. I may even share my coveted Cosmic Brownie with you.” I burst into giggles as I finished drying my hands. Ken’s fiancée packed him the most childish snacks on the planet for his midnight shifts. She wrote the sweetest notes on them, though, and I think that was why he secretly enjoyed them. He never let anyone touch his snacks, so to be offered one was serious business.
The veterinarian on duty was waiting out front to greet the dog owners while Ken and I set up the X-ray and surgery rooms. A combination of excitement and fear pulsed through my veins, and when the doctor wheeled the black Labrador with the gray muzzle back into the surgical space, it skyrocketed.
After the X-rays were taken and the doctor determined the best course for surgery, I donned the appropriate surgical gear while Ken got to work sedating the dog. I knew that there wasn’t much assistance I could give during the procedure except hand over a few of the tools, so I spent the majority of the time watching the doctor’s skillful hands.
“Let’s close it up,” the veterinarian said as he finished sewing some of the interior muscles. “This one has a long road ahead, and since he’s so old, it doesn’t look promising.”
Together, Ken and I carried the dog called Rocky to the small kennel he would get to recover in while the doctor w
ent to speak with the owners.
“He should be waking up soon,” Ken said as he stood up.
“Can I stay with him? Just until he wakes up.”
Ken looked at me skeptically before agreeing. I tried my hardest not to grow attached to any of the animals, but I failed every single time. And being that I watched the doctor try to save Rocky’s life, this dog was going to get extra special care from me.
“Come get me when you leave, okay? You were a great help in the surgery,” Ken made sure to point out before he stepped free of the gate, leaving the door open.
“Thanks. And I look forward to the brownie.”
It took almost an hour for Rocky to wake up from the anesthesia. He was groggy, but instead of seeming confused, he seemed content as I gently ran my hand over the top of his head. Carefully, I extracted myself from beneath him and settled his body against the blankets lying on the floor.
“I’ll be back tomorrow,” I promised as I closed the door to the run and went in search of Ken and my payment.
Glancing at the clock in the locker room, I was surprised that 4 a.m. was just around the corner. I hurried through a shower and changed my clothes, shoving the dirty ones in my duffle bag. I didn’t bother drying my hair, letting the long strands dry naturally.
“I called the rideshare for you,” Ken stated as he walked with me out of the building. Ever since the incident on campus, I made it a point to pay for a ride back to the apartment instead of cutting through school. There was still no word on my assailants, but the university police seemed adamant that they didn’t go to Wellington. Thank goodness I was able to find my keys in the bushes the next day, but maintenance had already changed the locks. Since then, I made sure that I took more precautions when coming home late at night.
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