“Yeah. Things started going bad when I was twelve or so, and by the time I was fifteen they were split and the money was gone.”
“Is that . . . ah . . . when you . . .” Kendall made a vague gesture as he added the onion I’d chopped to his sizzling skillet.
“Got into drugs? It’s okay, you can ask.” I shrugged as I grabbed a paper towel from the roll on his counter, cleaned the counter where a bit of onion juice had escaped off the cutting board. “Yeah. See, I started getting heavier. Hailey and the other kids at dance made fun of me.”
“That’s awful.” Kendall sounded ready to smack Hailey with the wooden spoon he was stirring with.
“Eh. We were kids, you know? Anyway, Hailey told me her mama had a secret for stayin’ skinny. Gave me these pills. Made me feel like I was flyin’. That was the start. Eventually, she couldn’t keep pinching her mama’s stash, so I turned to an older kid to get me some of that. He said he had something even better.”
My stomach churned as I remembered those years, the slow, inevitable slide toward harder and harder drugs as I went from being up all the time to needing something to sleep to not knowing who I was without the drugs.
Kendall shook his head. “I want to scream at those kids. I really do. How’d you end up out here, away from your parents?”
“Pretty common story, really. Mama and Dad were so concerned with the divorce, neither wanted to deal with me and my issues. They sent me out here, hoping if I got away from the bad crowd that I’d get clean. I didn’t though. Lord, did I put Gran, and Gramps too when he was still alive, through the wringer.”
“But you did get help. And you guys seem close now.” Kendall was cute, all willing to rush to my defense.
“Yeah, we are. Friend of mine died, and I decided that I didn’t want that to be me, Gran up there cryin’ over me. She got me into rehab once I started going to meetings, let me move back in once I was clean. She’s . . .” My throat filled with golf balls as I thought about how much she meant to me.
Kendall reached across the island, squeezed my arm. “I’m so glad you got help.”
“Me too.” And I was. Glad I was there with him, eating his fancy food, and I was even glad that I’d told him more about me. Felt good, being honest with him. It also felt like something that couldn’t possibly last. The talk was a good reminder of that—I couldn’t ever have a stake in something that could push me back to that desperate place if it ended, and eventually, Kendall would see enough of these ugly parts of me and would turn tail and run. I had to be ready.
* * *
Thursday was our third class, and I was looking forward to it all day. I’d seen Kendall for a short time on Tuesday—long enough to eat a late dinner, practice, and then rub off together on his big, soft bed same as we had a second time on Sunday night before he ran me home. I had a feeling that Kendall wouldn’t mind doing something different, but as for me, I loved the novelty of rubbing off, how close I could feel to him, and how simple and good it was.
But before I could get to the good parts of my day, I had to get through work.
“We’ve got a big wedding coming up Saturday,” Vic reminded me toward the end of the day. “I’ll be working on that cake all tomorrow, but I’ll need you to do the delivery because Robin and I are guests.”
“I remember. It’s your friend Robby from that coffee cart downtown, right?” I knew him from my deliveries.
“Right. Kendall’s the planner for him and his fiancé, David, but you don’t want any . . .” Vic made a vague gesture with his big hand.
“Vic. You trying to say not to fuck around on the job? You do know I wouldn’t do that, right?” I got testier with him than I ever had before.
“I know.” Vic sounded a bit put out. “Just trying to help you. Stay professional and all. And speaking of, if you dress up in those dancing clothes of yours for the delivery, you could stay for the reception food—Robby told me to extend the invite to you. He says you’re his favorite delivery person.”
“I’ll look sharp. Not sure if I’ll stay though—don’t want to intrude.” Or throw Kendall off his game, but I wasn’t giving Vic any more fodder for his stay professional cannon.
“Do you want to help with the cake? They’re doing two cakes, so it’s all hands on deck tomorrow. I can show you how to crumb coat,” Vic offered.
“Maybe,” I hedged. Last thing I needed was to screw up his big order. Vic had offered before to show me some decorating stuff, but I’d always found something to do up front or an order to deliver. I hadn’t quite sorted out in my head if I was good enough to help him. See, this voice in my head, the same one that told me that Kendall and I couldn’t last, it said that I wasn’t worth a damn and that as soon as Vic figured that out, I’d be out on my ass again. Better to keep my head down, not aim for stuff above me, like my daddy always said.
“You think about it,” Vic said. “And uh . . . enjoy your class tonight.” He looked like he had something to add about Kendall and me, but Marcie came in from the front, needing me, and he waved me off.
After work I arrived at the dancing lesson minutes before it started. I’d made sure to wear some of my new clothes. For once Kendall had beaten me there, and he was talking to the couple with the person with a beard and a love of dresses. I gave them all a nice smile. Even if I wanted Kendall all to myself, it was nice to watch him charm others too.
“Micky and Danny here are thinking of a fall wedding,” Kendall said when I came up behind him. “I was just telling them about the bakery.”
“Vic does a real nice cake,” I said. “Y’all should come in and taste some samples.”
“You know, you should think about doing some of the decorating,” Kendall said. “You’ve got a steady hand and a nice eye for detail.”
Not you too. I was kind of done with people making me out to be more than I was, but I blushed and looked down at my shoes. “Think you got me confused with you. You’re the one who makes everything all pretty.”
“You’re such a cute couple,” the bearded person said, voice higher than I would have expected. “How long have you been together?”
“Oh, we just started taking this class together.” Kendall made an airy gesture that set me on edge. It was the truth, but still made my back muscles tighten. Not like I could—or should—expect more, but still part of me wanted to be claimed by him.
I didn’t have much chance to dwell on that because Chuck and Ted called our attention to the front of the room.
“We’re working on more whip variations this week with the reverse whip, basket whip, and a few others, but first let’s review.”
Kendall was wearing his pumps again, but he’d paired them with slim pants and a big fuzzy sweater that made me want to cuddle him close. Even though my body was galloping ahead to after class, I tried to keep my head on, letting Kendall lead me through the starter step and throwout. We worked the sugar push and whip before Chuck demonstrated the basket whip, which had a crossed-arm component that Kendall struggled with.
“Walk, walk, triple step, walk, walk, triple step,” Chuck counted out.
“Argh,” I gagged as Kendall caught me right in the wind pipe with our joined hands.
“May I?” Chuck came over to us. “Let me lead Todd and show you.”
It was a bit weird, dancing with someone who wasn’t Kendall and letting him lead. Seemed like my body only really enjoyed this following business with Kendall. Still though, I tried to be a good sport for Chuck, letting him pass me into the basket position with arms crossed, and back out again.
When Kendall got me back again, it felt like he held me a bit firmer. I liked that, that little hint of jealousy and competitiveness. This time, when he passed me into the arms-crossed position, he did so with confidence.
“Coming back with me after class?” he asked, eyes full of dirty promises.
“You feeding me?” Funny how much I was coming to like that, the way it wasn’t just sex for Kendall, the way we could
eat and talk together. I never once felt cheap with Kendall, and that hadn’t always been the case with previous hookups.
“Of course. I left some stuffed shells in the fridge to heat up when we come in.”
I pretended to think about it. “Italian? Yeah, I’m coming.”
“I’m making you eat salad too,” Kendall warned.
“Still coming.” I laughed and gave him a wink on the next dance pass.
* * *
Back at his place after we walked the dog, I discovered that Kendall had set the table all pretty for us with fresh flowers and blue plates. It made my chest ache, the way he went to such trouble for me.
He slid a foil-wrapped casserole dish in the oven. “Now should we practice for another forty-five minutes or so or . . .”
“Or.” I pulled him to me.
Kendall wrapped his arms around my neck. “I was hoping you’d pick that.” He started to tug me toward the couch, but I shook my head. Still hadn’t made my peace with those windows of his. “Bedroom?”
“I love your bedroom,” I said, and it was true. I loved the light lavender wall color, the darker purple accent wall behind the bed, the white wood bed and dresser, and of course, the big fluffy bed that reminded me of some fancy hotel with its thick white comforter and lots of pillows. Mainly, though, I loved the way Kendall sent the covers and pillows raining to the floor before he pushed me down on the bed, intent clear in his eyes.
Just like on the dance floor, he became more confident and bossy with each encounter, and I relished his take-charge attitude.
He left me there, sprawled on his bed, while he stood in front of me and stripped. Unlike me, Kendall had no issues giving a show, as evidenced by the naughty little smile teasing his mouth. He raised and lowered the hem of his sweater a few times, giving me flashes of skin.
“Time’s a-wasting,” I grumbled.
Kendall just laughed and stripped off the sweater, millimeter by millimeter until finally he gave a little shimmy and it fluttered to the floor. Eyes locked on mine, he slid down his zipper, and I saw the reason for this little show.
“Holy fuck,” I said as he revealed black lace outlining his hard cock. I guess you’d call them short boxers, but they were lacier and shorter than any boxers I’d ever seen, and the way they hugged his cock was obscene.
“Thought you might like these.” Kendall laughed. “I wanted something that was still comfortable but a little . . . prettier.”
“Love you all pretty,” I growled, and rolled toward him so that I could grope his ass, pull him toward my eager mouth.
I mouthed him through the lacy cotton, making him gasp. We hadn’t ever done this, but right that moment, I wanted to do it for him, not because I was good at it, not because he was feeding me and taking care of me, but because I wanted to know the taste and weight of him on my tongue and I wanted to give pleasure to my guy. And those undies . . . good lord, they drove me more than a little crazy as I nuzzled his balls and cock through the fabric.
“Gonna suck me?” Kendall’s voice was full of toppy authority, not really questioning my willingness.
“Hell, yeah, I am.” I pulled down the waistband of his underwear so that the head of his dick sprung free. I started to lean in for a lick, then remembered. “You want a condom for this? I don’t have any sores or cuts in my mouth, but whatever makes you the most comfortable.”
“I’m good . . .” He gasped as my tongue made contact with his shaft.
I laughed before I licked all around the head of his cock, licking along the waistband of his underwear too, sorta pushing it down with my mouth, until most of his cock was exposed for me to tease. His cock was a gorgeous shade of dusky rose, darker near the root and balls, pinker near the uncut tip.
“Enough teasing.” Kendall bumped my face with his cock, message clear.
“Want something?” I asked innocently.
“You know I do. Suck it.” Kendall’s voice was a firm command that I felt all the way to my own balls.
Complying, I closed my mouth around his cock and slid forward until I’d swallowed him to the base.
“Fuck. You’re full of tricks, aren’t you?”
I wasn’t necessarily proud of my cock-sucking ability, but I was glad for it right then because it made him moan and gasp as I worked him over. I milked him with my tongue while I started a slow, deep slide. I’d been paying attention to Kendall, and it wasn’t speed that usually got him off. Rather he seemed to like a slower rhythm with a lot of stimulation, so I tried to give him that, fingering his balls through his underwear, working the underside of his cock with my tongue, and rubbing his ass with my other hand.
Something peaceful and seductive came over me, made me feel like I’d sipped some potent drink that made every move pleasurable, made me feel each breath of his, each moan, and amplified his taste until I was moaning along with him, desperate for more of it.
“Yeah, like that, don’t you?” Kendall rocked his hips like he was searching for something and not quite getting there. I knew what he wanted and released his dick before flipping to my back with my head over the edge of the mattress.
I wrenched open my fly, got my dick some breathing room before I motioned him forward.
“Fuck, yeah. Jerk yourself off while I fuck your mouth.” Kendall’s voice was rough and needy.
I didn’t need to be asked twice. I started a hard pull while he slid back into my mouth and got my free hand on his hip so I could feel his rhythm. Fucking slow, hard, and deep, Kendall’s breathing sped up and we both moaned. I sucked hard on the upstroke, trying to keep him in my mouth longer, playing games with my head to hold my breath longer. It was its own kind of high, giving myself over to the fuck, seeing how deep and hard I could let him go.
“Right there. Oh fuck. Yes. Going to come.”
I moaned in response, hand speeding up. His legs started to shake and he made little groans and whimpers right before he shot down my throat. I sucked hard, letting the taste of him carry me over the edge until I was coming too, moaning around his cock as I spurted all over my belly.
“Oh my god.” Kendall tumbled onto the bed next to me. “Oh. My. God. I think you ruptured my brain.”
“I’m glad.” My voice sounded like it had bounced around in a cement mixer.
“Oh, hell. Between this and almost strangling you while dancing, I really do owe you some ice cream or something, don’t I?” He laughed.
“I’ll take it.”
He rolled over, dropping a lazy kiss against my pant leg. “Next time’s on me.”
Even though I’d just come hard as a semi rushing a yellow light, my body still shivered. More anticipating. “Counting on it.”
CHAPTER 9
Kendall
Todd took a fast shower while I got the food out of the oven and onto the plates.
“You want a pair of sweatpants?” I called as the shower shut off. I had a feeling he’d gotten spunk on his dress pants and I knew he was fastidious about stuff like that.
“Nah. I had my work jeans.” He came out toweling off his hair, jeans riding low on his bare hips. No shirt. He winced and gestured at the clock on the microwave. “Jeez, it got late, didn’t it?”
I’d been hatching a plan while he showered. “I don’t have an early appointment tomorrow. I could take you to work if you wanted to sleep over.”
“Friday’s a long day for us. Have to be there early.” Todd took a seat at the table, inhaling deeply as he smiled at the food. God, I loved the way he appreciated things I did for him.
“I don’t mind. Gives me an excuse to grab a fancy coffee before I get to work instead of sleeping in.” In truth, I was more of a night owl, but I really wanted to sleep next to Todd for reasons I didn’t want to take out and examine too closely.
“All right.” He nodded solemnly and dug out his phone from his pocket. “Let me text Gran, make sure she didn’t need anything doing tonight.”
He blushed while typing, which was freaking
adorable. “Feel like a kid sneaking out,” he muttered.
“We better make it worth your while.” I winked at him. And hell, I really did owe him after that epic blowjob. I’d never had anyone who could deep-throat that easily—or enthusiastically. His phone beeped and he turned redder. “She says to have fun.”
“She’s remarkably accepting of you being gay. Was she always that way?”
Todd made a face, pausing with his fork in the air. “Just because people are from the South doesn’t mean they’re all conservatives. She’s a lifelong liberal poli-sci professor. Now, my daddy, he didn’t take to me being gay so well, and blamed mama and the dancing, but Gran’s always been great about it.” His Southern accent always got stronger when he got worked up about something.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to imply. And trust me, I know all about people and assumptions.”
Todd reached across the table, patted my wrist. “I know you do. And that’s what I lo—like about you. You know people are gonna judge, and you just be yourself anyway. Strong. I dig that.”
His near slip of the tongue warmed me all the way through. As much as I kept telling myself that this was casual, I was already more than a little infatuated with him, like walking along the beach at the Oregon coast—buildings getting smaller and smaller and risks getting bigger. And I liked that he saw me as strong. I didn’t always see myself that way, and it meant something that he saw the me I tried so hard to be. “Thanks.”
“I’m serious. You know what you want to do with your life. Like you’ve got . . . purpose.” There was a wistful tone in his voice that nicked me close to my heart.
“I didn’t always want to do this,” I admitted. “And my mom is still irked that I didn’t get a safe degree, like law or an MBA, a ‘real’ job. But I got into event planning with groups in college, then friends started getting married.” I shrugged. “Turned out I was good at it, and I’m the sort of person . . . I need to work for myself.”
Danced Close Page 8
