"Well, you don't have to stay."
"I'm not making two trips. And you need my help. Besides, I want to help."
Well, if he put it that way... She knew it had been a half-hearted protest, anyway. She knew she'd take any time with him she could.
"I'll see you later," he said, moving to stand.
"Okay," she murmured.
Colin paused, and his face reflected what appeared to be a fierce mental battle for the space of several seconds.
Then he leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"Bye," he said quickly.
Before Jaina could comprehend what had happened, he was gone.
Chapter Ten
When Colin picked her up to take her to Warkworth, Jaina was still awake and thinking about the kiss he'd given her.
She was profoundly shaken by the previous night's realization that she had fallen in love with him. She didn't question it. She just knew, and at moments, it hurt.
She was quiet on the ride to Warkworth. Quiet enough that Colin commented.
"Are you all right? Is your ankle giving you trouble?"
Jaina jumped, a little startled. She actually completely forgotten about her ankle. "No, I'm fine. I just didn't get to sleep after you left, so I've been up for 24 hours and the world's kinda weird right now." She pulled a wallet of CDs out of her bag and selected one, then slid it into the player in the dashboard.
"Did you take the meds?"
"If I hadn't, I wouldn't be fit to go anywhere, let alone work." She looked at her foot. Even though it was getting colder, with winter approaching, she'd been forced to wear her black canvas shoes--shoe, rather, since the other foot was braced and wrapped--and her black flare jeans, since they were the only ones that would fit over the brace. Unless she wanted to wear her sweatpants, which she most certainly did not.
Jaina wanted to talk to Angela, but didn't know which she wanted more, to spend the entire day with Colin, or to talk to her friend. Colin was getting to be one of her best friends, but she couldn't talk to him about her feelings for him.
"My life sucks," she muttered.
"What was that?"
"I said 'I'm such a klutz'," she said, perhaps a little too quickly.
If he noticed, he didn't give any outward sign. "Yes. And it's partially because you wear those shoes."
"I said I'm short." Jaina crossed her arms under her breasts. "You try being eight inches shorter than you are."
"I'll pass, thanks." Colin gave her a brief smirk. "You do realize that this means we can't go biking until your ankle is healed?"
As much as Jaina hated biking, she felt a stab of regret at the thought.
"This isn't bad," Colin remarked, of the music. "Who is this?"
"Darren Hayes," she said smugly.
Colin gave a low whistle. The song was pretty blatantly discussing sex. She considered changing it, but felt defiant. "This is certainly different than Savage Garden."
"Yeah, Darren seems more inclined towards the risqué these days."
Jaina looked at her hands, listening to the words. It made her think about how she'd been opening up, revealing so much to him... and he had done very little reciprocating.
"What's your favorite Star Wars movie?" she demanded suddenly.
"What?"
She shifted in her seat to look at him. Even having spent six months in Australia and New Zealand, it was odd to be sitting where the driver's seat would be in the US. "I just realized that I've been telling you all this personal stuff, and you have hardly told me anything."
Colin eyed her warily, then said, "Return of the Jedi."
Jaina barely kept herself from gaping. "Really? Mine, too."
"Hmm."
And then they lapsed into an awkward silence again. Jaina sighed and pressed her cheek against the window, spending the rest of the ride to Warkworth in silence.
♥♥♥
Feeling irritated, Jaina let Colin carry her things, but declined further help. He followed her around like a dejected packhorse.
"What happened?" Sara Whitman exclaimed, seeing Jaina as they approached the area where filming was to occur.
"I have a pretty bad sprain," Jaina said. "Last night. Fell down the stairs."
"Ow, ouch!" Sara winced. "How did you do that?"
"I was walking down the stairs in high heels, twisted my ankle, fell." Jaina motioned for Colin to put her things down by a group of trees. "You can put that stuff there. Thanks."
Sara looked Colin up and down. "You're not supposed to be here today," she said.
"I'm helping my mistress," he said, affecting a hunchback. "Is Igor's fault. Now I must carry her things."
Jaina tried not to laugh, but ended up giggling anyway. Angela joined them just in time to hear Colin's monster impression.
Her brow creased, looking from Colin to Jaina. "Okay, Igor, John saw you're here, and he wants to talk to you and Sas."
Colin straightened, flushing, with a sheepish laugh. He looked at Jaina. "If you need anything, let me know."
As Sara and Colin left, Angela grabbed Jaina's arm. "I thought you were gonna get over him!"
Jaina shrugged. "I fell for him. Literally."
Angela rolled her eyes.
"I couldn't help it, Ange." She sat in one of the folding chairs. "It just happened, no matter what I did. And I don't care anymore."
She sighed, and a wistful expression filled her emerald eyes. "I love him."
♥♥♥
Angela gave up on getting Jaina to fall out of love with Colin. One look at Jaina, and it was obvious she was hopelessly lost.
Meanwhile, Jaina's ankle was healing at a rapid rate. By the end of the week in Warkworth, she could walk with it lightly wrapped, and sans crutches.
"Don't you need those?" Colin asked, indicating the crutches in the backseat of his car as they got out. He'd noticed Jaina had made no move to retrieve them.
"Nope," she said gleefully. "Almost all better."
She couldn't skip, and walked with a very slight limp, but she was definitely feeling better, even though it was getting colder at a seemingly exponential rate. Having grown up in California, she hadn't needed sweaters that much, but they were required now. Shopping with Angela one afternoon, she bought several, as well as boots.
"Does Colin know how you feel about him?" Angela asked.
"I don't know." Jaina held up a burgundy sweater. "What do you think of this one?"
"It's cute. Are you gonna tell him?"
"What, and have him get all creeped out around me? No, I'm not gonna tell him. I mean, I'm not planning to."
"So you've been hanging out at his place a lot? You didn't tell me that."
Jaina fixed her with a look. "I've been giving him cooking lessons. And he's been teaching me how to ride a bike. That's it. Of course, we've had to postpone further lessons with my ankle, and it'll be getting too cold soon. We're planning on going biking one last time next week."
"Doesn't his boyfriend live with him?"
Shaking her head, Jaina picked up a cobalt blue sweater. It was a man's sweater, stuffed onto a rack by a lazy shopper. And it was on sale. It would look perfect on Colin. Even though his birthday wasn't for several months, he'd probably be going to that convention in Germany in November, and he'd need something warm then. The weather then would probably be much like it was now.
Colin had been going out of his way to make things easier for her, with her impaired mobility. She'd just barely got her car back from his house, and was just a little relieved at not having to spend the entire day with him. It wasn't annoying, just... painful. Knowing she could never have him.
"No, he doesn't have a roommate right now. He's only mentioned Michael a couple of times, as a 'former roommate', who apparently left a few possessions in his room, and Colin's always complaining that he won't come back and get them."
She headed towards the cashier with her selections. "What about you? It's got to be a relief that you don't have to kiss Pe
ter."
Angela laughed. "Don't remind me! The things I do for my craft."
Jaina took her credit card back from the saleswoman and then lifted her bags. They headed for the door.
"Have you kissed Colin?" Angela asked.
Jaina dropped one of her bags. "What?!"
"You heard me. Have you?"
"No!"
"That's too bad. He's a really good kisser."
Jaina let her hair fall into her face as she picked up her bag, hiding her flush. "Well, good for you. But unless I somehow end up on film as Alex's girlfriend or something, it won't happen."
"And you'd need an agent for that. And auditions. Unless there were some freak thing. Like when they cast one of the assistant directors as Frohike on The X-Files."
Jaina was surprised. "You watched X-Files?"
"Yup. Mulder was hot. I wanted him and Scully together."
"Did you not see the last couple seasons?"
"Nah, lost track, decided it was too much work to catch up."
"Oh. Well, they got together."
"Was Scully's baby his?"
"Yeah."
"Cool." Angela began leading Jaina down the street. "I noticed your brother's kind of... antisocial."
Jaina shook her head, thinking back to when Angela had picked her up, and the way Jason had been acting. "He's getting stranger every day, I swear."
Her friend laughed. "He can't be any stranger than you."
"And why do you think I'm weird?"
"Well, you're American. If that isn't reason enough-" Angela ducked a pretend swing of Jaina's arm with a laugh "-you've fallen in love with a gay man, and your family is quite deranged."
Rolling her eyes, Jaina said, "You haven't even met my sister."
They walked for a while in silence, looking in windows.
"I've been thinking about getting an apartment," Jaina said suddenly.
"Oh?"
"Now that I'm working here, I don't have to stay with Jase. It's getting uncomfortable. He gets weird when just about anyone visits me."
Angela nodded. "I can imagine. He seems... overprotective."
"Especially when Colin drops by," Jaina told her. "I can't even tell you how much he doesn't like Colin."
"So he went from thinking that Colin was going to jump him, to being afraid that he's going to jump you?" Angela grinned.
Jaina sighed heavily. "I don't have any idea what his problem is. He's acting so overprotective of me, and Teniel..."
"What about Teniel?"
Angela stopped to look in a window. Jaina moved to stand beside her.
"Jason just watches her like a hawk," she said. "I dunno."
"Maybe she's pregnant," Angela suggested. "Guys go insane when women are pregnant."
Jaina considered that. It was long past time that Jason and Teniel have another child, anyway. "That might explain it. But I'm not about to ask. I'm considering apartment hunting, but... I feel kind of reluctant. Like... Like I'm supposed to stay there for a while longer, or something."
Shrugging, Angela made a face at a price tag on one of the display items. "So go with your gut. It led you to fall in love with a gay man."
"Thank you for reminding me of that," Jaina said wryly. "I was just on the verge of forgetting that fact."
"My job to remind. Seriously, stay with your brother as long as you want. I mean, it couldn't get weirder, could it?"
'Famous last words,' Jaina thought.
Chapter Eleven
The next Sunday, as Jaina was waiting for Colin, she nervously paced the front entry. She'd braided her long hair, one on each side of her head, and dressed in her usual biking outfit, with a light green zippered hoodie over it.
She didn't know why she was so nervous. She'd gone biking with him many times. What made today different?
The phone rang. Jaina jumped, then laughed at herself and ducked into the living room to answer it.
"Hello?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Jerking the phone away from her ear, Jaina blinked. The person on the other end was screaming loud enough that even with the receiver a foot from her ear, she could hear, "I GOT IN! I TURNED IN THE AP! AND then a nice big envelope came for me! Just for me!"
Recognizing her sister's voice, Jaina put the phone back against her head. "Emily?"
Her sibling was too busy talking about the envelope to reply. "It's all pretty and white, and I want to name it Whitey. And it shall be Whitey."
Laughing, Jaina asked, "Where? Where'd you get in?"
"OXFORD!"
She almost dropped the phone. "No way!"
"Way! So way!" Emily was giggling. "I'm going. Screw Dad!"
Jaina rolled her eyes. "Is he still going on about sending you to State? Or is it somewhere else this time?"
"No, I got the letter from Stanford. But, dude, it's Oxford. I haven't even called Dad yet. Mom is 'meditating' and Dad is at work, so I called you because I loveded you."
"That's great, Em. But..." Jaina wasn't entirely sure why she was so eager to end the phone call with her sister. It was great news, but... Colin could be there any moment. Stupid, she knew. "Did you happen to check to see what time it is here? Not that I mind."
"It's 3 PM here. So it's like 1 in the afternoon there. Why, are you working?"
"It's 10 AM," Jaina replied.
"So? You're awake."
"And no, I'm not working today. It's Sunday."
"Good point," Emily said mildly.
Jaina rolled her shoulders. "Okay, I was asleep, but I've been up for about twenty minutes..."
Cheerfully, her sister said, "Oh, well, 10 is late enough!"
Feeling guilty for her reluctance to talk to her sister, Jaina said, "But that's great news."
Oblivious to Jaina's struggle, Emily said, "Thanks. So what's new with you?"
"I'm... learning to ride a bike."
"Really?" Emily was shocked. "Who's teaching you? Jasa knows better."
It was then that Jaina realized why she was so uncomfortable. She didn't want Emily finding out about her feelings for Colin, and making fun of her. "His name's Colin."
"Colin?! As in guy-you're-obsessed-with Colin?"
"I'm not obsessed!" she responded automatically, wondering if Emily already knew.
"Um, sweetie, do I need to remind you about your theme on your computer? Or the little Hedridan teddy bear?"
Mentally smacking herself, Jaina said, "Well, okay, but he hasn't seen it."
"Or the giant poster?" Emily continued. Jaina didn't mention that the only reason Colin hadn't seen that was because it was on the back of her door. "Sure. For your sake I hope he doesn't."
"The issue here is NOT my supposed obsession," Jaina said defensively.
"What is the issue?" Emily asked.
"I'm learning something."
"Learning? Learning what?"
Jaina rolled her eyes and prompted, "Bike."
"So what's the issue?"
Sometimes, Jaina hated how much Emily remembered. She could remember anything.
"Jaya..." Emily was speaking slowly. "He's gay, sweetie."
Jaina closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the wall. Yes, Emily knew. "That's not proven."
"Go have fun with the Hedridan shaped dildo instead of pining."
Jaina's mouth dropped open. She was too shocked to reply.
"There is no reason to believe otherwise," Emily continued.
She finally got her tongue free from paralysis. "Except for the fact that I've been hanging out with him for over a month, and I've never heard him mention a boyfriend."
"He's a private person, I don't think he'd divulge all of his life secrets in a month," her sister said reasonably, voice sounding tiny through the phone.
Jaina was suddenly very aware of just how far away her little sister was. "And I've never seen any sign of someone else there when I visit his house."
Emily spoke as if explaining something to a child. "So, not everyone lives
with their significant others."
Stubbornly, Jaina said, "Well ... that's true, but... You'd think I'd maybe have met someone if they existed. I give Colin cooking lessons three nights a week, and we go biking twice a week..."
"Five days?"
"Um. Yes."
"You spend five days a week with this guy plus you work with him? No wonder you fell for him!"
Jaina counted to ten, resisting the urge to reach through the phone and strangle her sibling.
"Sweetie, what you need is to get laid," Emily went on. "Go out clubbing, surround yourself with handsome guys."
"What I need is for Jasa to quit looking at Colin like he's going to jump on him or something," Jaina said belligerently.
Emily sighed. "He's in overprotective mode? Dude, he needs help. The man is gay. Tell Jasa to freak off."
Laughing, her sister replied, "No, Jason looks like Colin is going to jump on him."
Em giggled in disbelief. Then she started cackling. "Jasa isn't even cute! Lame-ass. Seriously... Try some happy fun time with Hedridan-dildo, it could just be a physical thing."
"I think that's enough sisterly input from you," Jaina said.
The doorbell rang. Immensely relieved, Jaina said cheerfully, "Plus, Colin just got here, I've gotta go."
"No, it's never enough," Emily was saying. "Fine, run to Gay Boy. Get me an autograph!"
"Hypocrite," Jaina chided playfully.
"Yes. But it's cool when I do it."
Jaina spotted Teniel coming down the stairs. "Gotta go. Here, talk to Teniel."
"OK, bye!"
Jaina handed the phone to Teniel and dashed out the door.
Teniel watched with bemusement, as Emily, on the other end, said, "Teniel, her gay-dar is so off, isn't it?"
"It seems that way," her sister-in-law said.
"Poor girl," Emily sighed. "Gampy would say to beat the sense into her. I give you all rights."
Teniel laughed, and carried the phone up to Jason.
♥♥♥
Colin gestured to a small park. "Let's take a break over there."
Jaina nodded, She carefully peddled over, but almost fell over when she tried to stop. Laughing, Colin grabbed her. "You still need help."
Love's Dance Page 7
