by Karen Lynn
Logan’s eyes widened in surprise. Enticed by her aggressive behavior, his skin tingled. He inched his fingers under her dress, sliding them along her thigh and ordered two of each. Hiding her anger behind her sweetest smile, Kristen crossed her legs, tactfully reached under the table and removed his hand. Logan flushed from a mixture of desire and embarrassment, downing his vodka in one gulp. Taking in a hard breath, she met his eyes with a spiteful stare, only to be repelled by the coldness she found.
Praying had never been her thing, yet tonight it seemed like it couldn’t hurt. Without a peaceful end to the night, she feared her already fragile sanity would be destroyed for good.
It didn't take long for the effects of the booze to hit Logan like a hammer. Kristen listened with revulsion as he slurred and rolled over laughing for no apparent reason. It was impossible to kill the thought of how pathetic it all was. At one point, his face almost fell into the heaving bosom of the bleached-blonde as she leaned across the table with a dessert tray. Worst of all was how unaffected he was by his foolish behavior, and how entertaining it was to everyone else but her. Desperate for a mental escape, she let her mind wander off into oblivion.
At last it was over. Kristen forced herself back to reality. They were getting up to leave. While Logan and Nick were occupied with the bleached-blonde and Tony, she found Jonny too close for comfort, pinning her in.
“So, Kristen, do you miss your friends in the City?” He squinted at her. It could’ve been construed as an innocent question, if his voice wasn’t dripping with venom.
Kristen squirmed back as far as possible, trying not to inhale his rancid liquor breath.
“Yes.” The word slipped from her tongue, producing an unusual sense of pleasure when his eyes widened.
“Hmm.” His stare grew more poisonous.
She could picture the wheels turning in his head. Then a spark of recognition burned in her brain. With renewed desperation, she held onto his arm, looking deep into his eyes. “Please don't tell Jake you saw me!”
Jonny's expression changed from despicable to shocked.
The warmth of Logan’s body seeped into hers. Relieved by his presence, she raised her face up to meet his. She sensed Jonny's eyes on them as Logan’s lips clamped on hers in a passionate kiss. When he eventually released her, he had a big, drunken grin on his face.
“Ready?” His damp hair brushed across his handsome face as he wobbled backwards. “Whoa!” He chuckled, finding her arm to cling to for rescue.
“Hey, why don't we go to a club or something?” Nick shouted, apparently annoyed that the evening was filled with so much mysterious tension. “I have some awesome shit.”
If he says yes, I will never, ever forgive him. Kristen stopped breathing to concentrate on Logan's face as it brightened, then dimmed. In that moment he glanced at her, his eyes questioning. She gave him that look, the one he always understood, though often failed to acknowledge. She stifled a groan waiting for him to clear his mind enough to make a decision. After a few stressful minutes, he declined the offer and pulled her to him.
“I better drive.” She stretched her hand for the keys.
“Fuck no, I can do it! You can sleep.” He jerked away, letting his delirious laughter fill the air.
“You're too fucked up!” She lunged for the keys. He stumbled backwards, nearly falling. After regaining his balance, he gave her a sheepish look and continued teasing her by extending, then snapping it away.
“Whatever, Logan. Just get me home in one piece!” Frustrated with his game, she collapsed onto the passenger seat. With a sly grin, he tossed the keys in her lap and pulled her out. Rolling her eyes, they switched seats. By the time she started the engine, his eyes were already closed.
SUNDAY
JAKE
Jake ran faster and faster, but he couldn’t escape—the wind battered his back, slamming him into a brick wall. The incredible force hurled him upwards, higher and higher. Suddenly it released him, and he spiraled downward, crashing to the ground.
He bolted upright in bed, his body drenched in sweat, his breaths ragged and rough. In a frantic motion he tossed the blanket to the floor and jumped up. The nightmares were now a constant part of his life. Darkness flooded the room, but the streets were alive with afternoon sounds streaming inside. And he was still exhausted, the sleep deprivation taking its toll.
A strange uneasiness rattled his bones. Anxious to shake it away, he padded to the kitchen to make coffee. The powerful pounding in his head came out of nowhere, threatening to detonate his brain. Looking down at the endless trail of beer bottles, the reason was obvious. He collapsed onto the chair, his hand cradling the coffee mug, attempting to push his sorry life from his mind.
He longed to hold Kristen, to feel her soft skin blending with his, to hear her laughter, see her smile. Closing his eyes, he choked on the urge to call her. His hand blindly sought the phone, then fell to his side. The rings were tucked away in his drawer, her clothes hung undisturbed in his closet, and her presence clung to his soul, slowly destroying it. It was seriously beginning to piss him off.
Without looking, he hurled the coffee mug against the wall. Panting heavily, his eyes followed the sound of shattering glass, trailing the brown liquid as it swirled along the wall to the floor.
Today, he swore to himself, would be the day he'd put an end to it all. But first, a nice long run in the park.
KRISTEN/LOGAN
Only 1:00 p.m. and Nick had already sent him four text messages. The afternoon light burned his sore eyes. He crammed them shut, seeking relief. When nothing happened, he grunted and dug his knuckles into his throbbing forehead. He rolled over on the bed searching for Kristen—it was cold and empty.
Where the fuck is she?
The bitter cold penetrated his bones. He buried himself deeper under the warm quilt to read the texts. Nick needed to talk business, it was urgent. Shit! He tossed the phone away, grimaced, and stuck his head out, calling Kristen. She wasn't responding, and it irked him.
“Where've you been?” He sniffed, pulling the blanket around his naked body as he walked into the kitchen. She ignored him, continuing to make a sandwich.
“Hello!” With mounting irritation, he waved his hand in front of her face, blocking her as she tried to walk past. “What's wrong with you?” She continued trying to skirt around him. He gripped her arm. “I'm talking to you!” His voice raised. The effort hurt his pounding head even more.
“And I'm not talking to you!” she snapped, glaring at him.
“I can see that! Why?” Face to face, his eyes penetrated her.
“You need a shower, bad! You stink from all that liquor!” She wrinkled her face in disgust, her free hand plucking at his fingers to release his grip. It didn't work. He squeezed harder and harder, bringing a bright flush to her face. “Logan, let me go! You're hurting me!”
“No. Not until you talk to me.”
“Ok! I guess you can't remember how you tricked me into going last night, huh? That was really fucked up, and you don't even care!”
She attempted to shake free. He held on, increasing the pressure.
“You still with that shit? Next time stay home then!” He leered at her, snickering as her eyes widened. “Wait a minute. I remember now! You owe me an explanation! What was that whispering about with Jonny? Hmm?”
“None of your business.” She was close to tears as his fingers dug into her skin, but refused to show any weakness.
“Nick keeps texting me, and I bet... yeah, I'm sure it’s about you fucking everything up last night!” His eyes raged forcing a gasp out of her.
Turning her face away to prevent the fear from taking over, she lowered her voice. “I don't care, Logan. You should've told me he was gonna be there and let me decide what to do. I'm not your property!”
He burst out laughing, shaking her. The comforter fell to the floor, he kicked it out of the way. “Kristen, Kristen.” He shook his head, his voice calm, patronizing. With a roug
h jerk he had her flush against him. “That's where you're wrong. What are you gonna do about it? Look at you. You can barely walk. In a couple of weeks, you'll be popping out my kid. You're not going anywhere. You don’t have to work, I take care of you, I pay for everything... I do own you.”
The coldness in his eyes horrified her. Against her will, the tears slid down her face.
I will not break down or sob out loud.
For a second, she thought his eyes softened, maybe even filled with compassion. It was quiet except for the sound of her sniffling and ragged breaths.
Logan dragged her to the chair, sat down, pulled her onto his lap, and tightened his arms around her. “Now, tell me what you and Jonny were talking about. Every single word.”
She couldn't tell him. She closed her eyes, wishing it was all a bad dream that would go away.
“Not talking yet? Let me help you. Did you ask him about Jake? Hmm?”
His biting words played over and over in her mind. “I hate you!”
He stiffened, then released her. Shoving her off of him, he mechanically rose to his feet. “Have it your way—for now.” He lowered his head to hers. “If I arrange a hit on Jake, you might change your mind.” His eyes narrowed menacingly as he waited for her reaction.
She gasped, holding onto the table for support. Horrified by his sinister expression and disturbed, far away eyes, her instincts warned her to escape—her body refused to obey. He started to leave the room, satisfied. She waddled after him, clasping his arm. “Logan…don't do that, please!”
A flicker of angst spread across his face, then disappeared. He stared at her, emotionless. “Beg me.”
She cringed. It was impossible to tell if he meant what he said, if he had that power. After last night, she wouldn't put it past him. He'd said they were capable of anything. She believed it. If he'd killed Ray, wasn't he? Until there was some concrete evidence, it was still a big if in her mind. Regardless, she couldn’t take that chance. “Please, Logan, I'm begging you.”
“Yeah. I thought so. Now, what did you tell Jonny?” Despite the calmness in his voice, his eyes remained distressed.
I hate myself for letting it come to this! He will never change.
“I told him not to tell Jake that he saw me.”
“Don't move!” After pulling his arm from her hands, he rushed to the large oak desk at the other end of the room. Kristen held her breath, her eyes glued to him. When he yanked a drawer open and anxiously pulled out a small tray of cocaine, she exhaled in relief. For the time being, she felt safe as he sank into self-destruct mode. She stared at him while he hastily snorted the coke, spilling some in the process. Grunting, he scooped up and licked whatever he could. “This is really good shit! Too bad you're pregnant!”
The instant numbing regenerated him.
Now I can deal with anything, no matter how disappointing.
He motioned to her to sit beside him on the couch. She reluctantly obeyed, on guard for any sudden mood swings. When it appeared the coke had restructured his mood for the better, she breathed easier.
He threw his arm around her shoulders, gave her an affectionate squeeze, and nudged her head down to his chest. “So, you were saying... could you repeat it? I kinda lost track.” He gave her one of his infamous stoned grins and nestled his face in her hair.
An increasing queasiness spread through her. “About what I told Jonny?”
He wiped his nose and nodded, his hazy eyes fixed on her.
She inhaled deeply, seeking calmness. “I asked him not to talk to Jake about seeing me.” It startled her how she couldn't say the name without a surge of uncontrollable emotion.
At first he didn't respond—there was complete silence. Then his eyes gradually narrowed while he tugged her to his body until her back touched his chest. Bringing his forearm forward to encircle her throat, he held on, very slowly applying pressure. “Why?”
Kristen struggled to break away from him, hoping his arm wouldn't follow her neck. Her hopes were in vain. “Logan, you're really scaring me. Can you take your arm off of my throat? I can't talk like this.”
He basked in her wild eyed terror.
“Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't' realize it!” He laughed, taking his time as he removed his arm. Just as she sucked air into her lungs, his forearm tautened around her chest. “Better?”
Kristen closed her eyes, summoning every drop of strength she possessed. After taking several deep breaths and coughing, she forced herself to speak. “I don't think he needs to know, that's why.”
The shrill beeping of Logan's phone startled them. He checked it, deciding to answer Nick's call.
“Hey, man, what's up?” Putting on a cheerful voice, his lock on her chest intensified. She waited, her nerves on edge, listening to Nick's annoying voice rambling on. Logan’s discomfort became obvious. From the bits and pieces she picked up, it was apparent the conversation had to do with business and how disastrous the night went. As soon as he ended the call, a perplexed look covered his face. He raked his fingers through his hair several times, then fixed his glazed eyes upon her.
“Well, Nick's pissed. Lucky for us, Jonny didn't make a big deal about your bad attitude. They still want to work with us. But, lucky for you again, you will have a chance to make it up.”
The only thing I feel lucky about at this moment is he’s stoned and mellow.
“What do you mean?” She stiffened, her anxiety increasing.
“Dinner tonight. Good thing I bought you a few dresses, huh?” The room was spinning now, his body and mouth numb. It was impossible to recall what they were talking about. Something with Jake, possibly. Instead of wracking his brain, he closed his eyes, letting his mind shut down.
Seizing the opportunity, Kristen held onto the edge of the couch and lifted herself to her feet. Panting from the effort and the horrible image of another torturous night with Jonny, she disappeared into her only sanctuary. Once inside the bathroom, the door locked behind her, she doused her face with cold water. It didn’t matter how much she wished for it, there was no escape. Not yet.
JAKE
He couldn't calm down. It was impossible to rest, let alone sleep. After two joints and no real relief, he threw on some clothes and hit the streets. Another beautiful, balmy night, and the East Village vibrated, alive with hundreds of people out for a good time. Summer was around the corner and the air pulsated with excitement and renewed expectations. With his depression at an all-time high, Jake had no expectations, just a desire to escape for a while.
As he strolled past endless curbside cafes, something forced him to focus on the patrons. He could have sworn he glimpsed Marty at one of the tables. Squinting to take a second look, he confirmed it. She sat alone, a vacant, distant look in her eyes.
Maybe I should go back and talk to her. It couldn't hurt. But how could it help?
Unable to make a decision, Jake froze.
“Jake!”
It took him a second to get his bearings before he turned to her.
“I thought I saw you walking by. You didn't see me?” Marty’s face flushed as she struggled to catch her breath.
He shrugged. “I wasn't paying attention.”
“Oh.” She blanched, lowering her eyes.
“What are you doing around here?” Suddenly, his curiosity flared. He guided her to the side of a building out of pedestrian traffic.
“Well... I was supposed to meet someone…”
Aware she was embarrassed, he attempted to conceal his amusement by clearing his throat. “And?”
Groaning, she kept her eyes low. “I got stood up.”
“No kidding? His loss!” Jake grinned. Even though she wasn't the type he usually went for, she was cute. He made a quick assessment of her thick, wavy black hair that cascaded down her back, big brown eyes, and full lips. Other than the small boobs, he could see why Ray had been so attracted to her.
“What are you doing around here all by yourself?”
“I live a few b
locks from here—you didn't know that?”
Didn’t Kristen tell you?
He pushed away the fleeting, unwanted image, resisting the question he wanted so badly to ask.
“I guess I wasn't paying attention.”
The devilish gleam in her eyes intrigued him. Something about the way her face lit up comforted him. “You wanna get a drink or some food?”
“Sure!” She inched closer to him.
Without hesitating, he took her arm and led her back inside.
LOGAN/KRISTEN
The incident with Logan, coupled with the looming threat that his business associates presented, really freaked Kristen out. She wasn't used to having no one to confide in, and found herself sinking into a rising sea of despair. The thought of calling Ruby crossed her mind, but it had been so long since they'd spoken she couldn't bring herself to do it. What if she hangs up on me? I can’t blame her. I disappeared without as much as a phone call. And Marty? She already believes I’m a fool for leaving with Logan.
At this stage of the game, she had to choke it up and swallow it herself. That's exactly what she planned to do as they entered a different trendy restaurant in South Beach.
She wore a red dress this time, but was still the same disenchanted, fickle, very pregnant wife of an emotionally unstable, immature man whom she was unfortunately still hooked on. There were no bright stars in her darkened sky. At least not in sight. It was time to play the game and reap the rewards, or resist and face the wrath.
Jonny had a strange look on his face when he and Nick greeted them in the lobby. It was just the four of them, the blonde and Tony nowhere in sight. She couldn't decide if that would make the evening more tolerable or not.
“Kristen, lovely as usual.” Jonny’s voice was all it took to make her skin crawl. To make it even worse, he took her hand.
Feeling obligated, she didn't pull away this time. “Thank you.”
His eyes implied they were accidental co-conspirators. It was hard to stomach, and she quickly broke away from his gaze. Logan, already flying high from a coke buzz, didn't seem to notice or care when Jonny lead her to the table.
