She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the couch, breathing deeply, relishing the relaxation that flowed throughout her stressed-out system. The next thing she knew, she awoke in a prone position, safely tucked beneath a thick quilt. A thin streak of light peeked from beneath the door that lead to the kitchen, and tantalizing aromas wafted in the air. Grace tuned her ears to the popping and sizzling sounds from the kitchen, as well as Matt’s happy hum that soon broke into words. “Oh-oh-oh, we’ve got to love one another.”
Grace threw back the covers and stood. How long had she slept? She peeked through the blinds, startled that night had fallen, and moved to the kitchen, intrigued by the catchy tune. Not wanting to interrupt, she quietly opened the wooden door and watched as he cooked and crooned. A smile worked its way to her face. There was more to Matt Tyler than most people gave him credit for. More than she’d recognized. “What song are you singing?”
He wheeled about, a happy glow on his face. “You’re awake!”
“Sorry I fell asleep on you.” Grace stepped to the stove.
His eyes softened and he swept her hair behind one ear. “You’re exhausted, Gracie. I’m glad you got the rest. Hope my singing didn’t disturb you.”
“Not at all. What song is it? I don’t recognize it.”
Matt shrugged slightly. “A little something I wrote.”
“Really? I’d love to hear all of it sometime.”
A boyish excitement shone from his features. “Maybe after dinner?”
“Sure.” Her heart did a queer flip-flop in her chest. Time with him felt so natural. “Speaking of dinner, it smells delicious.” Her stomach rumbled in anticipation.
“Almost done.”
“Good, I’m famished.”
He cast a sideways glance while he manned the skillet. “Remind me to add that to the list of things I wanna talk to you about.”
Normally, she would’ve taken offense to the statement, but for some reason, tonight she welcomed it. Relying on her own insight didn’t appear to be working well, and any advice he could give would be appreciated.
Grace retrieved plates and glasses from the cabinets and set the table. Within a few minutes, she and Matt sat at the small table, now loaded with grilled fish, roasted potatoes, and steamed asparagus. She surveyed all the food and shook her head in disbelief. Matt had always cooked well, but when had he learned to cook like this? “You’ve outdone yourself.”
In an unforeseen move, he took her hand and brought it to his lips, planting a soft kiss. “For you, my lady.”
Her pulse quickened, and she quickly averted her eyes so he wouldn’t read her traitorous thoughts. What was happening?
Matt jumped up from his chair, one finger in the air. “Forgot something. Be right back.” He moved to the living room, and a few minutes later a bluesy music sounded from the stereo. He reappeared, and after blessing the food, ladled food on her plate, and then fixed his own.
She tried to make sense of the emotions twisting throughout her insides, but to no avail. “I love this music. Someone you know?”
He looked up, eyes wide. “Guess you could say that. Someone you know, too.”
“Who?”
Matt leaned his head to one side. “Me.” His eyes searched her face.
There was no containing her shock. He was good. Not just okay, but really, really good. She felt the need to say something, but words escaped her, so she focused her attention on the food and took a bite of the fish, moist and flaky on the inside, with a slight crunch on the outside. Grace closed her eyes, her mouth savoring the food and her ears savoring the music, as realization slammed into her. She’d misjudged him, not just now, but two summers ago, and had actually believed he was somehow beneath her. Her breath stuck in her throat. How had she been so wrong?
“You okay, Gracie?” Matt’s blonde brows puckered in concern.
“Yeah, I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed.” And a lot guilty.
“About?”
“Everything.” She expected a rebuttal, or at least more questions, but when she glanced up, he was focused on his plate, obviously lost in deep thoughts of his own.
He glanced up. “So tell me more about your boss.”
Grace stiffened. How much should she reveal? Elena’s last tongue-lashing made her fearful not only for her own safety, but also for his.
“It’s okay, Gracie. You’re safe with me.”
She felt safe, as evidenced by the impromptu nap. But safe in sharing her suspicions? Not until she had solid proof. Grace wiped her mouth with a paper towel. “Professionally, she’s top-notch. I’ve learned a lot from watching her in action.”
“But?”
She forked a bite of asparagus and considered her words. “Elena swings back and forth faster than anyone I’ve ever seen. One minute she’s kind and friendly, the next she’s chopping me into fish food. And she’s so calculating.”
Matt’s expression clouded over. “Does she exhibit signs of possessiveness?”
The warnings to stay away from Matt, Andy, and Jason. The way she had of dictating every moment of her life, even on weekends. Grace nodded.
He frowned more, his eyebrows so wrinkled his eyes almost disappeared. After a brief silence, Matt’s tone and expression abruptly changed. “I’ve only been around her briefly, but with job stress and being sole provider for a handicapped child, I’m sure it affects her behavior.”
Everything he mentioned, she’d already considered. But Elena’s behavior went way beyond the norm. “I agree she’s under stress, but. . . “
“Gracie, are you sure it’s worth working for her?” Matt’s face held dark thunder.
Worth it? If it meant protecting Andy, then yes. “I’ve already told you. It’s something I have to do.”
He enclosed her hand in his. “Just promise you’ll take care of yourself. Anytime she starts to unload, put up a shield.”
Her throat knotted, making speech difficult. “Easier said than done.”
“Yeah, but I know you. You’ll take her words to heart, allowing them to hurt you over and over again.”
He’d done it again. Read her like a book he perused on a frequent basis. She sighed. “You’re right, but how do I stop thinking about it? It’s like a cancer that eats away at me.”
Matt forked food in his mouth. “You need a rubber band.”
A giggle erupted. “What?”
His face lit with a smile. “A rubber band—you know those stretchy—”
“I know what they are, but I’ve never known that to be a remedy for overthinking. Did you pick that up in Psych 101?”
He laughed out loud. “It may have been 201. Put the rubber band around your wrist. When you catch your thoughts returning to her hurtful comments, snap the rubber band and think ‘stop.’ It’s basically just reconditioning.”
“It’s worth a try.” Especially if it kept her from ruminating on Elena’s razor-sharp words.
“Let me know how it works.”
“Will do.” A perfect segue opportunity. “Now that we’ve discussed my problems, mind if I ask you a question?”
Matt skewed his lips. “Don’t know. The way you phrased that makes it sound like I have a problem.”
A laugh bubbled out. “Oh, so just because you counsel others with their problems means you have none of your own?”
He chuckled. “Touché, but I’m not the one who’s practically perfect in every way.” He wiped his mouth with a wink and a smile. “So what’s my problem, counselor?”
“I know you got your feelings hurt last night, and I wanted a chance to explain. I didn’t intend for Jason to kiss me.”
He shook his head. “No need to explain. I can’t really blame the guy. You looked gorgeous.”
“Thanks.” Conversation lapsed, and the rest of the meal was eaten mostly in silence, with only polite small talk. Afterwards, Matt washed the dishes while she dried and put them away. Again she marveled at how natural and unforced they were togeth
er, a cohesive rhythm and harmony between them she couldn’t explain.
Once they were done, Grace hung her towel over the edge of the sink and faced Matt, who gazed at her in a way that made her heart gallop. “You promised to sing the song you wrote. And by the way, I loved the music during dinner. I had no idea you were so good.”
His expression didn’t change, but his intense gaze made her feel that he peered straight into her soul. “Glad you enjoyed it. Why don’t you have a seat while I grab my guitar?”
Her thoughts whirled as she moved to the couch. Had she unknowingly overlooked who he was on the inside because she couldn’t see past his wrinkled clothes and boyish behavior? She’d just taken a seat when he returned, his guitar in hand. Her mind flashed to the summer over two years ago when they’d relaxed around a campfire on a church outing and sung worship songs. Heavy disappointment draped her heart when he took a seat in a chair across the room rather than next to her.
He smiled. “The song I sang earlier is one I wrote last year. It’s been picked up by a group out of Nashville.”
“Seriously?” Her mouth swung open.
“Yeah. Pretty cool, huh?” His tone held no arrogance, only joy. He moved his capo to a fret near the tuning pegs and launched into the rollicking, bluesy song he’d sung earlier.
The lyrics spoke of the importance of people loving each other, and she couldn’t keep from harmonizing the last time through the chorus. How long had it been since she’d allowed herself the simple pleasure of singing? Grace applauded when the song ended. “I love it, Matt! It’s so catchy. And the lyrics are Christian, but not in a preachy way, you know?”
He beamed. “That’s the best compliment ever. I don’t wanna cram religion down people’s throats. That only turns them off. I wanna sneak in the back door, to teach the principles Jesus taught, to help them have a relationship with Him.”
Fascination captured her full attention, like she truly saw him for the first time.
“Sorry. I’m blabbering.”
“No you’re not.” She lowered her gaze. “Matt, I owe you a big apology for misjudging you.”
He said nothing, his gaze unwavering.
She swallowed against the lump in her throat. “I’ve let really petty and superficial things color my opinion of you and I’m so very sorry. Not only are you able to read people well and counsel them, but you’re a really great guy with amazing talent.”
Without a word, he rose to his feet, carried his guitar to the bedroom, and stayed.
Grace gathered her things. Had she embarrassed him? Had her admission made him decide she wasn’t worth his time?
“Going somewhere?” Matt entered the room, a frown on his face.
“I probably should be getting back.” She looked back at him, her coat in her hands. “Sorry if I said something to upset you.”
In a heartbeat, he stood directly in front of her, his hands on her shoulders. “You didn’t upset me, Gracie. You answered my prayer.”
Before she could open her mouth to speak, he claimed her lips with his own.
14
For a long moment, Matt lost himself in the kiss, not quite believing he was finally kissing her, or that she was kissing him back. But fear crept in, and he pulled away. The last thing he wanted was to take advantage of her vulnerability. One glance at her was all it took to see the wisdom of his decision. She looked ready to collapse, confused and bewildered. He smoothed her hair. “That was beyond nice, but we need to talk.”
She broke free from his gaze and nodded.
Matt held her hand to reassure her. Gracie was the type to over-analyze everything anyone said or did, and then she internalized it, turning even innocent comments and gestures into deadly weapons against herself. More than likely a response held over from her traumatic childhood.
He led her to the couch and sat down beside her, tilting her chin until she met his gaze. “I don’t wanna scare you away, sweetheart, but I have to tell you how I feel. I’m in love with you and have been since that summer two years ago, even after you told me you only wanted to be friends and even after I thought I’d gotten over you.”
Her eyes held a dark softness that threatened to pull him under. In a split second the softness turned to fear.
Hurt slashed into his heart. “Why are you afraid, Gracie? Don’t you trust me?”
Gracie pulled her hand away and rested her face in both palms. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came.
He engulfed her in a hug, rubbing a hand along her back. “It’s okay, sweetie, let it out. It’s safe for you to say whatever you need to say, even—” He closed his eyes against the ensuing pain. “—even if it’s something you know I don’t wanna hear.”
They remained in the embrace a long while, Gracie clinging to his neck as if her life depended on it. Finally, she pulled away, streams of tears coursing down her cheeks.
His heart fell. This wasn’t good. He forced a smile and nodded to assure her.
“My life’s in such chaos right now, Matt.” Her words came out choked and broken. “I want to be able to say the same things to you, but I’m so confused, and you deserve better than me telling you one thing now and something else later when things have hopefully calmed down.”
The words churned in his gut, but she spoke from an honest place. “I’ll accept that, Gracie, but I want you to know I’ll still be here waiting. Take all the time you need.”
A half sob sounded in her throat, a sound that tore at his already shredded heart.
“What’s bothering you, sweetheart? Please tell me.”
She said nothing, and tears continued to fall.
“Does it have to do with Elena?”
Gracie remained reticent.
“With Jason?”
Again, she didn’t speak, but now chewed her bottom lip. Finally, she shook her head.
An inner alarm went off in Matt’s head. She wasn’t telling the truth, but who was she covering for—Jason, her boss, or both? He hadn’t bought Jason’s act since day one, but in many ways Gracie’s relationship with her boss bothered him even more.
She fidgeted away from him, and he laid his head against the back cushion. If his suspicions were correct, the Delgado lady could have serious, even dangerous, psychological issues. But Gracie was a worrier, and he couldn’t have her paralyzed by fear. That’s why he’d tried so hard to act like she was worried for no reason. He started to ask another question, but changed his mind at how pale she’d grown. “You feel okay?”
She released a heavy sigh. “I’m just really tired. I think I need to go home and rest if that’s okay.”
“Of course it’s okay. Sorry if I kept you too long. I’m just trying to find a way to help you out of the chaos and confusion you mentioned earlier.”
Her lips curved into a faint smile. “Thanks, Matt, but I’ll be fine. I just need time to make sense of things. Right now I’m still adjusting to the new job. I’m sure that’s a big part of it.” She stood and plodded to the door.
Matt followed. “You know Andy would take you back in a heartbeat, don’t you?”
She nodded sadly as she donned her coat and buttoned it up. “Yes, but this is something I have to do.”
He opened his mouth in rebuttal, but she silenced him with an uplifted hand.
“Before you lecture me, this job has nothing to do with vindicating my mother’s death.”
Matt took in the depth of sorrow in her eyes. His Gracie was on a mission—a mission that didn’t include him—and knowing her tenacity, she wouldn’t rest until it was completed.
He ushered her to the old beat-up truck and watched her drive away. Matt ran a hand across his mouth. Watching her leave was sheer torture, but he had to trust that God cared for her when he couldn’t. Out of nowhere, a rush of joy splashed over him. At least there was hope for them now. Gracie hadn’t said ‘no,’ just ‘not now.’ He rubbed his hands together to warm them, breathed in the rain-washed air entered the cabin.
; Maybe he should look into the possibility of a promise ring for her Christmas gift, just to show her how serious and committed he was. As he opened the screened door, his cell phone buzzed.
“Hey, Matt. Derek here. Interested in coming on the road with us over the holidays? We’re booked solid through New Year’s.”
Why was a patio chair sitting beneath her window?
Grace stopped in her tracks, her eyes darting around the dimly-lit backyard. The glow from the security light cast a soft glow, but also cast really deep shadows. Did she dare walk to the shed to peer behind it?
After a few seconds to think through her options, she walked casually to the chair and returned it to its position beneath the table, casting a brief glance toward the shed. Too dark to see if anyone was there. Grace fumbled with her keys as she made her way to the back door. She located the right one and inserted it in the back door knob. Something brushed against her leg, and she nearly fell off the back porch trying to get away.
“Meow.” Millie sauntered toward her again and butted her head against Grace’s shin.
“You scared me to death, you silly cat.” She bent low and lifted Millie to her arms. While Grace scratched behind the cat’s ears, her eyes flitted around the backyard. “Did you miss me, kitty?”
Grace turned the knob and quickly flipped on the light switch, relieved to find everything the way she’d left it. She dropped Millie to the floor. The phone shrilled, and she startled. Settle down, Grace. It’s only the phone. She cradled the phone in the crook of her neck as she slipped off her coat. “Hello?”
“Well, hello. I’ve been trying to reach you all afternoon.” Jason’s cultured voice was unmistakable.
“Hi, Jason. Sorry, I wasn’t here when you called. I was out with a friend.”
“Anyone I know?”
Why did it matter? “Yes. Matt Tyler.”
The line grew deathly quiet. “I see. Well, I was calling to see if you’d allow me to take you to dinner again tomorrow night. I’d make it later in the week, but I’m leaving on Tuesday to visit my family for the holidays.”
She moistened her lips, remembering Matt’s tender kiss. No, she was finally gaining some perspective on how she felt about Matt, and she wouldn’t let anything or anyone—including someone as handsome as Jason Dent—mess that up. “I can’t, Jason, but maybe after you return.” If only to question him further about Elena, since he’d managed to evade the question the other night. That would also allow her time for a one-on-one chat with Elena.
The Way of Grace (Miller's Creek Novels) Page 16
