by Kim Stokely
But first I had to find the way up the mountain. The path I followed was too flat. The true path had to be to the right or left of where I traveled now. I squinted my eyes into the woods, trying to make out something besides trees and darkness. All I saw were the misty puffs my breath made in the cold night air.
I hugged the nearest trunk. The rough bark scratched at my cheeks. My body shook. A combination of terror, cold and exhaustion. “Please.” At first my voice only whispered. “Please help me.” I sniffed back tears and called out louder, “I don’t know which way to go. I’m freezing and afraid and I need your help. Please . . . help me.”
Something flickered among the trees. I turned my head toward it, but it disappeared.
There it was again.
A small gold light off to my right. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and set off in the direction of the glow. Was it a firefly? I had no idea but I followed its periodic twinkling until the ground started to rise. The rough covering of leaves and twigs became solid rock. In the dark I couldn’t see the incline I was trying to climb, I just knew I had to scale it.
Could I do this?
I had to.
Yesterday, the path had been steep and slippery. I decided the safest way to go up would be on my knees. That way, I wouldn’t slide down if I took a misstep. I got on all fours and crawled forward. The stone ate away at my legs as I fought my way along the path. Warm blood covered my hands from the reopened wounds on my palms.
But I kept going.
“Help me,” I prayed with each breath. “Keep me safe.” I reached out and pulled myself up the trail. “Help me, show me the way.” Another prayer, another few feet up the mountain. I lost track of how long I climbed or how many prayers I said.
The night faded into a thick fog as morning finally dawned. I stood up and tried to see how far I had come during the night, or how far I had to go until I made it to the top, but still I saw nothing but trees and rocks in both directions. My legs cramped up. I had to stomp like a fool to try and work out the Charlie Horses. I knew it came from dehydration and lack of potassium. I dreamed of finding a banana tree along the path.
No such luck.
I did find the perfect sized branch on the ground, however, and retrieved it to use as a walking stick. The wood gifted my hand with splinters, but I didn’t care. I needed the help if I was going to try and do this upright, now that I could see a few feet of the hill at a time. The rock gave way to dirt, dead leaves and a few scrawny patches of grass and weeds.
The fog thinned out some as the sun continued to rise. It hadn’t disappeared when I reached a plateau. My toes reveled in the squishy moss under my feet, like a thick green carpet. Birch trees took the place of the Cedars and Pine that had grown below. The sun’s pale yellow light spilled across the fog, but seemed unable to burn through it.
I fought the urge to lie down and rest, fearing I’d slip into a hypothermic sleep and never wake up. I forced myself to keep walking. My brain spinning wildly, wondering how I’d recognize the glade when I found it. I jumped back with a squeal when something small and dark darted out in front of me.
A rabbit munched on some clover just ahead. He paused in his nibbling to look my way then scurried off. He paused again, turning back as if to see if I followed. I shrugged. It wouldn’t be the strangest thing that had happened to me in Ayden, but it might be close. We played this game of “Follow-the-Leader” until the rabbit ran off into a thick crop of evergreens. I lost track of the bunny as my eyes caught sight of blue sky beyond the trees. I wove my way through the pines until I came to the end of my journey.
He’d led me to Ginessa’s Glade. I was sure of it. The fog no longer hung low around me. It had completely disappeared. The grass ahead grew thick and high. Wild flowers bloomed with abandon, dotting the green expanse with sudden bursts of salmon orange, crimson red, deep violet and canary yellow. Their sweet fragrance hung in the air like perfume. A lake stood a quarter mile away. No clouds hid the intense blue sky that reflected in its water, its surface flat as glass in the still, warm air.
Butterflies danced over the meadow, the brilliant colors of their wings flashing against the blue sky. A bird sang in the distance, its voice like a crystal bell.
I blinked as my brain struggled to comprehend everything around me. The colors . . . scents . . . sounds . . . everything more intense, more real, than anything I’d ever experienced before.
The air was warm. Humid, even. My muscles trembled as they released the cold from deep inside. My knees buckled. I knelt to the ground with tears streaming down my cheeks.
I’d made it.
No matter what else happened to me, I had accomplished the goal the others had wanted of me. I’d made it to Ginessa’s Glade. But that’s not why I cried.
I had never seen a place so beautiful, so ideal, in all my life. Its perfection tore at my heart. I knew, without a doubt, that this was how our worlds were supposed to be. Ayden and my world. This incredible beauty had been ours to possess, but men had turned it evil somehow. I felt an unbearable grief that we’d screwed it up. My gut wrenching sobs broke the silence of the glade but I couldn’t stop. I wrapped my arms around my waist and rocked as my cries echoed around me.
It took some time before my grief was spent. I felt empty inside, but my soul stirred when my gaze fell on the lake. I moved with lurching steps toward the water. I knew that’s where I had to go. I peeled off my filthy tunic and left it in the grass before I stepped onto the white sand that surrounded the lake.
My reflection stared back at me, its hollow eyes filling me with shame. Every evil thought, desire or action I’d ever experienced flooded my mind. Like when I’d stolen Ann Jordan’s lunch money in third grade, or when I’d joined with the girls picking on Sarah Flick in middle school. The time I swore at Kennis and told her I hated her. I’d always thought of myself as a good person, but now, in comparison to the beauty around me, I knew the truth. It was as if everything I’d done turned to dirt that clung to my body, seeped into my pores and filled me with filth. When I couldn’t stand to see the truth anymore, I ran into the lake. The water was warm. I dove under the surface to try and drown out the images that still played in my head. I held my breath and swam until my lungs burned for air.
I floated on the surface, looked up into the brilliant blue sky. The sheer expanse of it humbled me. I was less than a bug, little more than a molecule on a blade of grass that would wither away and die as soon as the sun hit it. No matter how important my life might be to the people of Ayden, I was barely a blip on the radar of eternity.
As if my mind had an ejection button, I released all the negative junk that had been eating away at my soul. All the pride, all the anger, all the fear, all the pain, all the desires . . . everything that would keep me from being at peace in a place like this. Everything I once thought important melted away until my insides were void of any thought but wonder. Wonder and pleasure for the beauty and peace around me.
And then, as if someone poured their thoughts into me, images flooded my mind. The story of Ayden. The whole land had once been as perfect as Ginessa’s Glade. A place of intense color, sound and beauty. Tall, golden, human-like creatures walked along pristine waters and didn’t seem out of place, radiating power and light. Their splendor fit Ayden. I guessed them to be Messengers. The women who stood by their sides seemed puny in comparison, although by human standards they would have been considered beautiful.
In a blinding flash of light the intensity of Ayden changed. The colors faded. The Messengers became men. Their children, the Nephilim, weakened with each new generation. The power of their immortal blood fading with time.
The scene in my mind shifted so that I saw a man I knew to be Gedeon, Ayden’s first king. Rabble, looking young, handsome and strong, offered his hand and Gedeon took it. Together they brought the Mystics through the passages so that the Elders would not become extinct. But Gedeon had been deceived. Rabble had brought the Mystics to Ayden to destroy it
, not to keep it alive. The colors faded even more as evil became prevalent.
I saw Ayden as it was now. It was as if I stood upon a high mountain and looked over all the lands. To the East lived the Elders, their land becoming more desolate as time passed–yellow with age and sorrow. To the West lay the lands of the Mystics–black with evil.
But in the middle a vast expanse of green still bloomed. I understood this to be the home of the Commoners. A voice spoke to me then. It was my own, but not my own. It didn’t use words, but somehow I knew what it said.
The hope for Ayden is not with the Elders, who have separated themselves and believe their ancient blood gives them the right to rule. It is not with the Mystics, who have been corrupted by the Fallen and desire only to subdue and control Ayden, both its people and its land. The future of Ayden depends on the Commoners. Those people who innately strive to do what is right. Who live their lives helping their neighbors, loving their families and struggling to discover a higher purpose than the drudgery of each new day.
The voice . . . the visions . . . faded. I lay there suspended in the water, staring up at the cloudless sky. Remembering. When I’d first come to Ayden, it was the Commoners–Tegan, Treasa and Bryce, who risked their lives to help me, a stranger, get to the Sanctuary and find help. I couldn’t promise them a reward. They did it because they were . . . are . . . good people who long to live decent lives. Even now, it is the Elders and the Mystics who fight to control me. The Commoners, well, so far at least, none of them has tried to kill me or force me into marriage.
I shivered then, not because the water was cold, although I’d been floating in it for what seemed to be hours. I trembled because I knew then why I’d been brought to Ayden. Not to marry Braedon and give the throne to the descendants of the Mystics. Not to restore the power of the Elders. I’d been brought to help bring power to the weakest, but purest, of Ayden’s citizens. Somehow, I had to unite them all if Ayden had any hope of surviving.
With this realization came a sense of peace. I let my mind empty again and listened only to my heartbeat, which reverberated underwater in my ears. With each gentle throb, strength returned to my muscles. My nerves crackled with energy. The emptiness in my stomach eased as if I’d eaten a substantial meal.
I let my legs sink down and touch the soft lake floor. The water came up past my belly button. I waded to the shore, sad to leave, but sensing the time had come to return to the real world. As much as I longed to stay cocooned here in this glimpse of perfection, Kennis needed me to return.
The warm air wicked the moisture off my body as I stepped onto the white sand. Water dripped down my back from my hair. I reached up and grabbed a handful.
A handful of hair!
I looked back at my reflection in the lake. My hair had grown to the length it had been before Andrew chopped it off only weeks ago. I felt stupid to cry over something as vain as hair, but it was as if an old friend had returned to me.
An incredible wave of emotion . . . of warmth and light and love . . . rushed up from my toes and enveloped me. I knew then, without a doubt, that this Ruahk they spoke of was real. I still couldn’t understand what he was, but he existed. I translated the intense emotions swirling inside me into words. Pride is not bad when it is tempered with the humility of knowing who you serve. Rejoice in the gifts I have given you–your beauty, your power, your intelligence but remember you would have none of it without my grace.
“Thank you,” I whispered. I walked back across the meadow, letting the tall grass kiss the palms of my hands. I stopped when I realized my wounds had been healed. The cuts on my knees and legs were gone, too. I raised my right arm over my head and, for the first time in weeks, felt no pain in my shoulder. I twisted and turned it and still felt nothing. I came to the place I’d left my tunic but it wasn’t there. Instead I found a garment of pure white wool, similar to the Bedouin outfit I’d worn on my first trip to Ayden, only this was a gown. Vines embroidered with gold thread embellished the v-neck, the bell cuffs, and the hem of the dress. I slipped it over my head and let the material caress my limbs.
I never wanted to leave this place. I thought at first it was because real life would pale in comparison but then I knew that wasn’t it. This place would fade as reality invaded my life. Ruahk would fade and I never wanted to lose this intense bond with him.
A moment more, dear one. Take another moment and rest.
I spun around the meadow, trying to memorize every flower’s color, every song bird’s melody, the smell of every evergreen tree. Then I laid down in the grass and fell asleep.
“Alystrine?”
I struggled to hang on to Ginessa’s Glade even as my grandmother’s voice pulled me back to Ayden.
“Alystrine?”
Something brushed against my shoulder. I opened my eyes. I knew I’d left the glade by the color of the sky, no longer clear blue, but dull white with angry clouds. The ground was hard, dry and cold. I blinked to recapture the beauty I’d seen.
“Alystrine?”
“I’m awake.” I stretched my limbs in an effort to shake off the sadness of being back in Ayden. My hair lay spread out around my head like a fan. She ran her bony fingers through it.
“What happened to you?” The wrinkles in Maris’s brow mirrored the concern in her voice as she knelt beside me.
I sat up. “There’s so much to tell you.”
She touched the sleeves of my gown. “You found it? Ginessa’s Glade?” Awe tinged her voice. She shuddered as she let out her breath. “Is it as beautiful as the legends say?”
“Words can’t describe it.”
Maris smiled, but I saw a hint of jealousy too. She had hoped to see it for herself. She stood. “I must get you back to the Elder Lands. Much has happened since you left.”
“What’s wrong?”
“The Black Guards are riding through the Fey. We put up more protections after their last invasion, but they appear to be almost through those.”
I took my grandmother’s hand. “Are you strong enough to take a passage back?”
Her eyebrows rose. “I think so.”
“Then let’s go.” I focused on Kennis and, in a moment, currents of air carried us through a passage. Maris gasped, but I wouldn’t let go of her as we traveled until I felt solid ground under our feet.
“Alystrine!” My mother hugged me so hard I could barely breathe. “Thank God you’re safe.”
I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame and reveled in her touch, her smell. I hadn’t realized how much of a wall I’d built up between us since I’d first come to Ayden. I’d held onto my anger at her for not telling me about this place. I left all that bitterness back in the lake. I squeezed her tighter. “I love you, Mom.”
A small cry escaped her throat. “I love you, too.” She pulled back so she could look at my face. “You’ve changed.”
“My hair’s back!”
Her eyes searched mine. “There’s something more.”
A movement over her shoulder caught my eye and I saw that we stood in the Council of the Elders’ tent. They watched us with expressions ranging from bemused curiosity to fascination as Geran approached us.
He took a moment to survey my new clothes and hair. An odd look came over his face. His voice sounded hushed, “You look like your mother now.”
I didn’t know what to say. I glanced at Kennis, her eyes glistening with tears.
Geran cleared his throat. “You succeeded, then?”
“Yes.”
The Elders spoke amongst themselves. Oded stood. “What did you see? Did Ruahk speak to you?”
I could never describe what I’d experienced in words they could understand. I took a moment to look each one in the eye. “I know what my purpose is. I know what I have to do now.”
Oded came closer. “And what is that?”
I sensed what he wanted me to say. That I would take the throne and re-establish the power of the Elders in Ayden. But that’s not what Ruahk had shown me
so I changed the subject. “Maris said the Black Guards are on their way to take me to Braedon.”
Oded’s eyes flashed with disappointment before he spoke. “Yes. They’re almost here.”
Geran nodded. “Our army is assembling. We wil meet them on the plains and fight them back.”
I knew without a doubt that now wasn’t the time for a battle. “No.”
My father frowned. “What?”
“Are you strong enough to use the passages?” I asked him.
“Yes. As long as we stay within the borders of Ayden.”
The Elders stood as I figured out my plan. “Is Quinn still here?”
Kennis nodded. “Yes.”
“Then he and Geran can transport you and Maris to the palace.” I waved my hand to stop my father from protesting. “If Quinn can’t get you to the open passage, you can wait outside until Braedon lets you in.”
Kennis put her hand on my shoulder. “What are you going to do?”
I took a deep breath. “Surrender myself to the Black Guards.”
Her fingers dug in to my skin. “What?”
Although my father was only a few inches taller than me he seemed much more imposing as he stood in front of me. “What are you thinking?”
I gathered my courage and stared him in the eyes. “I know this is what I’m supposed to do.”
“But why?” His voice rose. “When our army is ready for war?”
“Because now isn’t the time.” Words flew from my mouth that weren’t my own. The same power I’d felt in Ginessa’s Glade filled me with determination. “We need the Commoners to stand with us before we battle.”
Geran shook fists. “They will rally to our cause.”
“Only if I wear the crown. Otherwise, they’re too afraid of Braedon and the Mystics.” I drew myself up, surveying the Elders around me. “I survived the Breaking before and I’m stronger now. They hold no power over me. But if I don’t go with them, they’ll attack the Elders here. They’ll go after the children. I won’t let that happen if I can help it.” I turned back to my father. “Wait for me in Uz.” I gave him what I hoped was a confident smile. “I’m ready to be queen.”
