I dashed around the house and dressed as I attempted to ward off my concerns. Ethan, and undoubtedly Sebastian, could force my change to human and wolf form. They had a significant amount of control over my wolf half, over me. How much was it? When in wolf form, could they command me to sit and I would be forced to respond? Could they override my volition and make me change when I didn’t want to? How do I resist that primordial power? I didn’t want them to have that level control over me whether in human or wolf form.
Engrossed by new worries over Sebastian and Ethan’s recently discovered power, I nearly missed the trail of blood leading into the house. Winter leaned against the kitchen island, speaking softly with the two of them. I couldn’t make out the low murmurs, which I assumed was an erudite tactic from living among were-animals with enhanced hearing. When I was about a yard from where they stood, she did that weird eye thing and frowned. She regarded me for a long time before she turned and walked away. Ethan and Sebastian followed.
“There’s been an incident.” Joan stated from behind.
Her voice was tight and hard. I turned to face her. “Someone attacked Winter?” I asked.
“There were several vamps on the property. They are getting quite bold,” she continued through clenched teeth. This was the first time her animal half was exposed. Her eyes went predatory, changing to chestnut with a hint of a yellow feline ring. There was a snarl on her face. She looked ferocious—carnal and more threatening than I could imagine. It was easy to forget what she was. Her soft demeanor and nurturing persona made her seem so human—all human. But now, she was noticeably irritated and her stance, mannerisms and even energy screamed predator—killer. I took a step back. I didn’t fear her, but the instinct of self-preservation made me distance myself from the agitated animal.
“I thought vampires could only enter your home if they are invited.”
“They can come onto anyone’s property at will. This is the first time they’ve approached ours. Desperation has made them either bold or foolish,” she growled out. Seeing her so angry and feral was uncomfortable. Responding to my uneasiness, she softened her tone. Within seconds, she was composed and adorned with her warm smile and kind eyes. She smiled in that disarming manner that entreated you to trust her, welcome her and forget what she really was. But this time it didn’t work.
“They are three vamps down now. I doubt they will be so bold again.” I wasn’t sure how reassuring that was. I couldn’t decide what bothered me more: knowing that Winter, who hated me, could single-handedly take out three vampires, or that the vampires were getting desperate and bold.
After I showered, I laid back on the bed staring at the ceiling. The vampires were getting desperate. I had no idea what they were desperate about, but it involved me. Fear replaced my anxiety and was wreaking havoc with my respiratory system. I panicked. The short gasps weren’t enough to supply my body oxygen. I lurched up into the seated position forcing my lungs to inflate. I took several long, deep breaths.
“You never learned to control your wolf. You let it control you.” Startled, I followed the sound of the voice. Ethan emerged from the shadows. Noticeably agitated, he paced back and forth. His eyes were daggers, keenly focused on me. His tension and anger pulsed through the room in waves, an overwhelming surge that stifled me.
He stopped and leaned against the dresser, awaiting a response. It didn’t seem to warrant one. He was stating the obvious. Instead of answering him, I responded with a blank stare fixed on the door and waited for him to get the hint and leave.
“What, have you not gained control of your hearing either?” he barked impatiently. I looked down, avoiding his watchful leer.
“My hearing is just fine,” I responded stiffly. “I’ve always been afraid of that part of me. It’s a miserable inconvenience that I have to deal with each month during full moons and I chose not to deal with it any more than I had to.” Inconvenience? My period was an inconvenience. This was a hostile takeover of my life. Every decision and every aspect of my life revolved around my wolf, especially since I experienced several unexpected changes brought on by loss of emotional control. Those often ended with my mother giving me several painful shots with a tranquilizer until I went down.
He pushed himself up from the dresser, walked over to me and leaned in closely as he inhaled then frowned. His face was still just inches from my neck. If I were just a tad braver, I would have pushed him away. Keeping his eyes fixed on me, he took several steps back, studying me with avid interest. “You don’t smell like a were-animal and the vampires enter your home without an invitation as though you were one of theirs.” His eyes narrowed to slits. “Why is that?”
I couldn’t begin to understand why he was interrogating me with questions that I couldn’t possibly answer. Did he think I miraculously acquired information between the day I arrived and now? Refusing to give him the satisfaction of my frustration, I remained silent as cold, unforgiving eyes from a stone face glared back at me. “I don’t like it,” he stated.
I lifted my chin with forced confidence, “You are welcome to go dislike it somewhere else,” I offered.
“Not before I have answers. What exactly are you?”
“What?”
“What? Are? You?”
“What answer do you need to make it easier for you to leave?” I stated impatiently.
The haughty look quickly disappeared. “If I staked you, would you start reversion?”
Steven explained to me that vampires aren’t killed by a stake like in every vampire flick imaginable. Once staked, a vampire putrefies and reverts physically to its dead state. The body slowly decays and hardens, becoming mummified. If they aren’t decapitated during reversion and are allowed to feed, then they return to their natural state. Then you have a very angry and vengeful vampire to deal with.
“I am not sure. As a general social rule, people don’t go around staking people. It’s really frowned upon in mainstream society. But I suspect that it would be the same as with you—pain and lots of blood. Sometimes I cry when I get hurt. So maybe I would cry a little too,” I smarted back.
When he laughed, it was a dark abrasive rumble. “Something about you is wrong. Off. I don’t like it and I need to know what it is.”
“If you need answers, I am not the right source.”
He watched my hands as I nervously fidgeted with the silver charm bracelet around it. “You don’t have an aversion to silver,” he acknowledged, surprised.
I wasn’t going to play this inane game of “let’s state the obvious” with him. I exhaled loudly, glancing at him periodically before directing my attention toward the door, urging him to leave.
“You’re not a true were-animal?”
“Yet every full moon I turn into a wolf.”
His gazed hardened and I felt like prey under a predator’s leering stare. Would he attack? After a few minutes, he walked over to me and stood directly in front of me. His face just inches from mine. “What are you?”
I sighed, annoyed. “You tell me. It seems that everyone knows as much or maybe even more about me than I do. You are the one with the source who seems to have all the answers,” I spat out. “We’ve played “getting to know you” long enough. And I can assure you I am quite tired of it. It is time for you to leave,” I stated firmly, walking to the door and opening it.
He marshaled a look of sheer defiance as he took a seat on the edge of the bed. I opened the door wider. He didn’t move.
Leaning against the wall, I crossed my arms and waited. He kept a watchful glare on me for an excruciatingly long time. If his goal were to make me feel uncomfortable, he succeeded. He slowly came to his feet and paced the floor like a caged wild animal, watching me carefully as though I were a threat. I wished more than ever that he would just leave. His increasing agitation was making me nervous. If we were in the wild, I would be running for my life.
“Our information is limited on what you are. You lived your life ignoring the animal
within. What else dwells in you that you chose to ignore? You don’t expect me to believe you have been foolish enough to live this pseudo-human life with that woman you called mother oblivious to all things,” he breathed coldly.
I winced. The woman I called mother? Anger soon replaced my irritation. “That woman that I called mother was my mother by every definition of the word, despite the fact that she did not give birth to me,” I snapped, stepping closer to him. “I am so sorry to disappoint you, but yes, I lived my life with no desire to know anything more about my origin other than the fact I am a werewolf. All I knew was both my parents were dead. I only wanted to live as a human or as human this wretched wolf would allow me. I wanted nothing more than to do human things and ignore anything that made me anything but,” I paused my rant to take a well-needed deep breath to calm down, but it didn’t help. “Until I came here, I had only experienced my wolf during loss of emotional control. Every full moon, I was sedated and slept through it, locked in a cage. This is something I chose to do. And this is the way I chose to live.”
He continued watching me attentively, unaffected by my angry outburst. “If your job is to know, wouldn’t your time be better spent trying to find out why the vampires have this newfound interest in me, instead of grilling me with questions I can’t possibly answer? The sooner we know their intentions, the faster I can get out of this house. I believe that would make us both happy.”
After several minutes of standing in silence and glaring at each other in the worst standoff, I conceded. “Should I leave?” I asked finally.
After intense protracted moments of silence and cold lingering glances at each other, he shook his head and left.
Once he was out of the room, a wave of anger washed over me. I sat back on the bed and attempted to control it but it was about the consume me. My anger wasn’t solely directed at Ethan. I was angry because my mother was dead and I couldn’t save her. Life as I knew it had dramatically changed and I didn’t have a clue what to do next.
My clash with Ethan had just made things far too real for me. I didn’t know of any blood relatives who could help me deal with what I was going through. I had vampires coming after me for unknown reasons. And I didn’t know how to control my wolf; that scared me most of all. What would I do on the next full moon?
Attempting to force the thoughts out of my head, I tried to control things. The twinge changed to a surge of those familiar pains I got right before I changed. Dammit. My fingers balled so tightly together that my nails pressed into the skin. I fought to control things the best way I could. Shutting my eyes tightly, I saws flashes of color before them. Count backward from a hundred, I commanded myself. This never worked in the past; but at this point, I was willing to try anything. Now do it in Portuguese, I told myself as I continued with my effort to find calm. But it was too far from my reach as I fought the flood of emotions that was building in me.
“You need to control yourself,” declared Ethan’s voice on the other side of the door. It had lost its harsh tone and was now a languid whisper. “You shouldn’t change again today. It will fatigue you too much.”
I knew that. Who was he, Captain Obvious? Did he not realize I was doing what I could to stop it?
Ethan sat next to me on the bed. I kept my eyes closed, fully aware that if I looked at him it would just compound the irritation. He was close enough that our arms touched and I became very aware of his presence and the calm that his touch brought. He was doing something but I had no idea what. Ethan leaned into me and a peaceful warmth engulfed me, sending me to a place of serenity where I wanted to stay.
I opened my eyes in time to see him walk out the door and the blanket of calmness left with him. I was neither angry nor calm, returning instead to my place of abject emotions.
CHAPTER 4
The next day I stared out the window, basking in the bright sun as it gently warmed my face. I appreciated it for what it meant—no vampires. It was the first sunny day since I had been invited to stay with the were-animals. The other days were so dark and gloomy it seemed like dusk even at noon. Leaving the house would have invited another run-in with Gabriella and Chase. But today I was leaving the house to practice some well-needed escapism, no matter how impossible the task may be. Being confined here was so suffocating it was like constantly inhaling through a plastic bag. Until I came to the retreat, I never believed in cabin fever. Seriously, how could someone get tired of being in their home? But when it’s someone else’s home, it’s more possible than you can imagine.
With my computer bag across my shoulder, I managed to navigate my way to find Sebastian’s office. When Steven had given me a guided tour of the house, he brushed over the location of Sebastian’s office as though he didn’t want me to remember—but I made sure, if nothing else, I would remember that. I headed down the stairs, around the corner, passing the living room and the entrance to the urgent care, to a room several feet down the hall. I knocked on Sebastian’s office door. When he didn’t answer, I placed my ear next to it and listened for signs of movement or voices. I knocked again harder.
“What do you need?” Startled by the coarse baritone voice from behind me, I took several steps back. Sebastian didn’t seem to walk but rather glide into his position with such stealth it was hard not to feel like he was only moments from attacking. He folded his arms across his chest as he settled against the wall. His brown eyes, as usual, regarded me as though watching paint drying would have been far more interesting. Curiously, he eyed my computer bag hooked over my shoulder, the scarf around my neck, my coral-colored sweater, dark jeans and everything right down to my dark brown boots. Whoever packed my bags made sure I was prepared for whatever attire the weather called for. Today was an unseasonably warm fall day and I was about to enjoy it.
“Going somewhere?” he asked with a raised brow.
I still wasn’t sure exactly where I was, but Steven, during one of our many conversations, disclosed that I was just 38 miles from Chicago. This meant I wasn’t too far from my home. It made staying there a little easier.
I nodded. “The city … I need to go to the city,” I blurted out. “I don’t have a car, and remarkably, the GPS on my phone can’t seem to locate this place; a taxi is out of the question.”
His lips pressed together, forming an unwelcoming line. “What do you need in the city?”
I need to get the hell out of here.
“I need to go to the city,” I repeated
“What do you need? I will have someone pick it up for you,” he stated obstinately.
I let out an exaggerated sigh, “I need to get out of here. I’ve been cooped up in this house for four days, and I can’t stand it any longer. You claim I’m not being held captive—”
“—you’re not.”
“Then I would like to leave for just a little while,” I admitted.
He stared at me for a long moment; it seemed like he was about to deny my request, when he glanced up behind me. A whisk of a smile slowly settled on his face. I didn’t need to turn around; I heard her gentle gait and sensed the faint floral scent, Joan.
“Fine,” announced his forced surrender through tightly pulled lips as though obliging my request pained him. I was willing to bet it was because he hated that Joan forced him to be amicable, when all he really wanted to do was keep me locked up.
“If it makes you feel better, I will stop by a church to get some holy water, and I am wearing a cross,” I informed him.
He held the cross between his fingers, “Unless you plan on giving the cross to the vampire as a gift and providing the holy water as a refreshing beverage, then you are pretty much defenseless,” he stated dryly. “They have an aversion to the cross but it doesn’t make them weak as legend would have you believe. If anything, it’ll further irritate them and they’ll just take your arm with it as they snatch it from you.”
I shuddered at the image. “Unless they’re up for a daylight stroll, I will be okay.”
“Ethan
will take you,” he stated firmly.
Well, Sebastian, that would totally defeat the purpose of this day-trip, which was to stay as far away from him as possible.
“Is Steven here?” I asked.
“Yes he is. Ethan will meet you out front,” he walked passed me into his office and closed the door.
Ethan met me out front in a dark SUV. He looked about as happy chaperoning me as I was about him taking me. It was quite apparent, even if I couldn’t feel the palpable anger that surrounded him like a cocoon. The petty side of me found a little joy in that. Ha! Ha!
On the drive away from the house, I saw why the GPS couldn’t pick up a signal and navigating from the house was so difficult. It was placed in the middle of no man’s lands, only enough land cleared of trees and vegetation to build the small compound. Calling it a house seemed so inefficient; an estate seemed too pristine. There were three exits from the back, side and front. It was close to a three-mile ride to get off the property. Then it dropped into a single-lane road that I’m sure wouldn’t show up on my GPS either. This was where you go to disappear, your existence camouflaged by nature and desolation.
I made a mental note that it was nearly a half an hour before I was in civilized territory, where the map on my phone could determine where I was, where I felt that if I ran into someone, they wouldn’t be hiding from the world.
He was quiet as he navigated through the city, darting in and out of the congested freeway traffic, pissing off people without remorse. After close to an hour of horrid Chicago traffic, we found ourselves driving through the crowded streets, bumping over roads destroyed by the menacing winter snowfalls. “Where do you need to go?” he asked his voice rough, angry.
Moon Tortured (Sky Brooks Series Book 1) Page 6
