The Beauty of Us (Fusion #4)

by Kristen Proby

  “Who knows what I’ve missed,” I finish for her, and curse myself an asshole. “What the fuck am I going to do?”

  “Get your ass to Portland and fix it,” Scott says. “If you love her, you need to go to her and make it right.”

  “I can’t leave until Saturday,” I mutter, already making plans in my head. “I have meetings today and tomorrow, wrapping stuff up. I really want to secure this new show at Seduction so I can present it to all of five of them as a done deal, not just a possibility.”

  “Can you do that remotely?” Wendy asks. “If I know Steph, I know that she most likely made a huge mess of things yesterday.”

  “I can’t believe she went all the way to Portland.” I shake my head in disgust. “What is she trying to accomplish?”

  “Well, you can ask her,” Scott says, gesturing out of the front window. The woman herself is walking up my sidewalk, a basket of something in her arms.

  “Oh, this is gonna be good,” Wendy says. “If you think we’re leaving, you don’t know me very well.”

  “I’ll need the witnesses,” I mutter, and pull the door open before she can ring the bell. “What do you want?”

  “Hi, sweetheart,” she says with a wide smile. “I wanted to come by to say hi and bring you a little present.”

  “Jesus, you’re a piece of work.” She walks past me into the house and stops short when she sees Scott and Wendy.

  “Oh, hi, guys. Do you mind giving us some privacy?”

  “They’re staying,” I say, my voice hard and unwavering. “You’re the one who’s leaving.”

  “I just want to talk.” Her voice has a hint of desperation now. “I really miss you, Trev.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  She sets her basket down and links her hands in front of her, looking down.

  “Why are you doing all of this, Steph? It was you who cheated and decided that I wasn’t enough for you. The divorce was mutual. It’s been years and you’re remarried. What the fuck is your problem?”

  “I didn’t think you’d move on!” Her chest is heaving at her outburst, and her eyes fill with tears. “I thought you’d just stay single, and the thought of you being with someone else just kills me.”

  “You’re a selfish bitch,” Wendy says.

  “I never claimed to be anything else,” Steph replies with an unapologetic shrug. “If I can’t have you, I don’t want anyone else to have you either.”

  “What did you say to Riley yesterday?”

  “I told her the truth. That we are meant to be together and she should stand aside.”

  “Christ,” I whisper, and rub my fingers over my mouth. “Listen very carefully because I’m only going to say this one time. I don’t want you. I never will. We are divorced, and you are gone from my life permanently.”

  “Trevor,” she says, but I hold my hand up, stopping her.

  “No. You can’t manipulate your way into this. Even if I wasn’t in love with Riley, which I am, you wouldn’t have a chance. You sealed that the day you decided to let another man stick his dick in you.”

  “Ew,” Wendy says, then seals her lips shut.

  “Get the fuck out of here, Steph. If you contact Riley ever again, I’ll have a restraining order issued, and I will sue you for harassment.”

  “You wouldn’t dare,” she sneers.

  “Try me.”

  “You loved me.”

  “Past tense. Now you’re just some bitch who’s hurting my girlfriend. I won’t stand for it. If you think I’m bluffing, keep pushing and see what I do.”

  “Fine.” She clears her throat and looks between the three of us. “Wendy will keep me posted on what’s going on with you.”

  “Oh, fuck that,” Wendy says. “I’m done with you too. I didn’t tell you Trevor’s good news so you could dick around with him. I mistakenly thought you were still a decent human being. You can go to hell.”

  “Fine,” Stephanie says again, and walks to the door. She looks back at me dramatically. “You’ll regret this.”

  “Don’t fucking threaten me.”

  She blinks rapidly and leaves, almost jogging to her car, and drives away.

  “I’m sorry,” Wendy says again, but I shake my head and pull her in for a hug.

  “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Okay. Please go find Riley. Make things right.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” I smile as she pulls out of my arms and into Scott’s embrace. “You get this house sold. I’ll leave my keys with you.”

  “I’ll take care of it.”

  “I can help too,” Wendy says. “I’ll have movers come pack you. I’ll supervise it all, so you don’t have to travel back and forth.”

  “That would be amazing.”

  “Don’t worry about a thing.”

  I smile at my friends, and then frown again. “Don’t make any calls quite yet. She’s still pissed as hell at me, and may not want to stay in a relationship with me.”

  “She will,” Wendy says with confidence. “Once you explain it all, she’ll be great.”

  “Let’s hope.”

  The meetings today ran late, so it’s close to nine when I call Riley. She hasn’t answered any of my texts today, but to my surprise, she answers the phone now.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey.”

  I take a deep breath. “Riley, I need to explain some things to you.”

  “No, Trevor, you really don’t.”

  “Trust me, I do.”

  “The thing is, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. The past few weeks have been really difficult for me.”

  “I know, I’m trying—”

  “I need to say this before I lose the nerve. I just don’t think I can do this, Trevor. I’ve been so sad and frustrated, and when I’ve told you that I need you, you’re just not there for me.”

  “But—”

  “And I know that you’re busy. We both have demanding careers, but I was hopeful that we would make time for each other, and that just isn’t happening. Maybe I’m needy. And if that’s the case, I’m honestly okay with that, because I deserve to be needy, Trevor. You were so attentive when you were in Portland, but that’s changed. I love you so much, but I am not built for a long-distance relationship.”

  “Trust me—”

  “I do trust you,” she says, interrupting me again. “That’s just it, I totally trust you, but I don’t feel like I have you, and I can’t live with that. So, as much as it hurts, I have to let you go. I wish you nothing but the best in life, Trevor. I want you to be happy, and I genuinely hope you find someone perfect for you.”

  “Riley—”

  “Good-bye, Trevor.”

  She hangs up the phone and I’m left stunned, staring at the wall. She just fucking dumped me.

  She thinks it’s over.

  She thinks that she doesn’t have me.

  And all of these things are my goddamn fault because I’ve been too busy living in blinders, chasing the day that I can wrap my L.A. life up and move to Portland.

  But in the process I was ignoring the best thing to ever happen to me.

  I’m not giving up.

  No fucking way.

  I immediately dial Chris’s number.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi, Chris, I’m sorry to call you so late.”

  “I just saw you thirty minutes ago,” he replies. “It’s fine. What’s up.”

  “I’m sorry to do this to you, but I have to leave town tomorrow morning.”

  “No.”

  I pause and sigh in frustration.

  “Trevor, I’ve fought for this show that you want in Portland because I think it’s a great idea, and I know you’re anxious to get back up there, but we have presentations all day tomorrow. I am not going into that boardroom by myself. You will be there, or I’ll scrap the project altogether and you can go to Portland jobless.”

  “Chris, I know you’re doing me a solid, and I appreciate it more than I can say. You’
ve been awesome.”

  “Then you’ll do me a solid and go to that presentation with me tomorrow. The network doesn’t approve new shows on a whim. We’re going to need both of us in there tomorrow.”

  “You’re right,” I mutter. “Okay, I’ll be there.”

  “Good.”

  He hangs up, leaving me feeling completely helpless. I need to pull Riley in my arms and feel her. I need to reassure her that I love her more than anything, and that everything is going to be okay.

  She’s right, being apart has sucked, and I’ve done the worst thing of all by burying my head in work. It helped mask the loneliness and homesickness for her.

  As I look around my place, it occurs to me that I have a lot to do in a very short time. So I call Colleen, who surprisingly sounds like I’ve just woken her.

  “Were you sleeping?”

  “Yeah.” She yawns. “I spent all day being chased around Disneyland by children. They’re fast, Trev. And they like to tug on that heavy-as-fuck dress. One kid climbed me today. She climbed me like a motherfucking tree.”

  “I’m sorry,” I reply, my lips twitching. “Are you working tomorrow?”

  “No, thank God. I’m not going to move from my bed for about thirty hours.”

  “Well, about that. Could I maybe talk you into coming to my place?”

  “Tomorrow?”

  “Now.”

  “Now.” She laughs and I can hear her getting out of bed. “Yeah, I can be there in about thirty.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I don’t look pretty right now, so don’t thank me so soon.”

  “I don’t need you pretty, I just need you.”

  “Aw, you’re such a sweet talker.” She snorts. “On my way.”

  She hangs up and I immediately call my mom.

  “What’s wrong?” she asks as soon as she picks up.

  “Nothing. Well, nothing emergent.” I clear my throat, ready to get the “why don’t you ever call me” speech, but she surprises me.

  “What’s up, buttercup?”

  “Wow, you’re not going to yell at me for not calling you more often?”

  “Well, that doesn’t work, so I’m turning over a new leaf. What’s going on, Trevor?”

  “Well, I was hoping that I could come over tonight and get grandma’s engagement ring.”

  “Okay, now I’m pissed. I didn’t even know you were dating anyone, and you want Grandma’s engagement ring?”

  “I know, and I promise I’ll fill you in, but I’m in a hurry.”

  “This isn’t like you.”

  I sigh and close my eyes. “If the answer is no, just say so so I can make other arrangements.”

  “Well, don’t get all testy,” she says. “Of course you can have her ring. She left it for you. I was just relieved you didn’t want to give it to that bitch you were married to before.”

  “Stephanie wanted something more expensive.”

  “Hmm, should have been a red flag, don’t you think?”

  “There were lots of red flags, but this woman is different, and I want her to have the ring.”

  “Then I suppose you should come and get it. And, Trevor?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m happy for you, sweetie.”

  “Thank you.”

  Colleen walks through the door just as I hang up with Mom.

  “Are you dying? Do I have to take you to urgent care?”

  “No, nothing that dramatic.”

  “Oh, good, because I’m really not going to be able to hurry. My whole body aches.”

  “I need to walk through the house with you, and show you what I’m going to need for you to do tomorrow while I’m in meetings.”

  “Good-bye, Netflix,” she says with a sigh. “Where are you going now?”

  “To Mom’s.”

  She scowls. “I’m not going with you.”

  “I know. You stay here and I’ll be right back.”

  “Trevor, what’s happening?”

  “I have to fix things with Riley. Stephanie and Angie screwed things up, and I didn’t help.”

  “Who the fuck is Angie?”

  “I’ll explain it all as soon as I get back from Mom’s.”

  “Okay.” She sinks into my couch and reaches for the remote. “Bring back food. I’m hungry.”

  “Deal.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  ~Riley~

  I can do this. I’m going to get through this the same way I have gotten through every other disappointing man in the past: I’m going to pull up my big-girl panties and get on with it.

  It’s Friday morning. I haven’t spoken to Trevor since last night when I told him that it was over. Do I regret it? Well, it depends on the moment. Right now, yes. Because I miss him, and I’m sad.

  But then I remember how it felt to have his ex-wife march into my office and stake her claim. I remember how much it hurts that he hasn’t communicated with me, and no. No, I don’t regret it.

  Just as I get into my car to meet Kat and Addie at the gym, my phone pings with a text.

  From Trevor.

  Good morning. I want to tell you that I love you, Riley. Don’t give up on me. I’m coming for you.

  “I’m coming for you,” I say aloud, and set my phone aside as I put the car in gear and back out of my driveway. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  And just like that, I’m reduced to a puddle of tears all over again. I’m so fucking sick of crying. I feel like I’m going to use all of the tissues in the world.

  I’m still blubbering like a baby when I pull into the gym parking lot and cut the engine.

  “Pull it together, Riley.” I turn the rearview mirror so I can see myself, and cringe.

  I look like a hot mess.

  Which works well because that’s exactly how I feel.

  “Stop it,” I tell myself sternly. “He’s not worth all of these tears. You’re wasting expensive mascara on him, and that’s just wrong. I need to invest in waterproof mascara.” I wipe my cheeks and under my eyes. “Go work off some aggression with the girls.”

  Speaking of the girls, Addie yanks my door open. “Are you coming? Our class starts in ten minutes.”

  “I’m coming.”

  “I’m not doing yoga,” Kat announces. She’s got plenty of bounce in her step. Her hair is up in a high ponytail, and she simply glows with happiness.

  “Then why are you here?” Addie asks with a frown.

  “Because I’m going to run on the treadmill. Running sheds fat faster than yoga.”

  “Well, until I no longer have my baby boobs,” Addie says, gesturing to her tits, “I don’t run. They’re liable to give me black eyes.”

  “Sports bras are a beautiful thing,” Kat says with a laugh. “But yoga is great too.”

  “I need to stretch out,” I say, and sniff. “I’ve been curled in the fetal position all night, crying.”

  “Okay, that’s not okay,” Addie says. “Not okay at all.”

  “I know. It was just for one night. I’m done now.”

  I hope.

  “We’re going to talk about this after your class,” Kat says as she breaks away from us to find a treadmill. Addie and I grab mats and take our places toward the back of the class. I really don’t like the thought of sticking my ass in someone’s face during downward dog. Although it’s a moot point because this room is closed in with glass, so everyone in the damn gym can see in. Basically, I’m still sticking my ass in someone’s face.

  The instructor arrives, and begins the class, slowly moving us through the various poses. I’ve always enjoyed yoga. It’s a great stress reducer.

  And Lord knows I need to reduce some freaking stress.

  “How are you really?” Addie whispers beside me.

  “Shitty,” I reply. “I broke it off with him last night.”

  “No.” Her gaze whips to mine, and the instructor scowls at us.

  “Quiet, please.”

  “Sorry,” we
both mumble.

  “You seriously broke it off?” Addie whispers, and I simply nod.

  “He hasn’t been talking to me. And there has been some drama, and I’m too old to deal with drama.”

  “Shh,” a woman says in front of us, earning an eye roll from Addie.

  “What did he say?” Addie asks, ignoring the glares we’re getting from others around us.

  “I didn’t really give him a chance to reply. But he texted me this morning.”

  “And?”

  “I’ll tell you later. Do you see Kat?” We both look through the glass windows. Kat’s on a treadmill, running as if her life depends on it. “Why is she running so fast?”

  Addie snorts. “Is there a grizzly bear chasing her?”

  “Maybe Captain America is waiting at the finish line?”

  “Is the treadmill stuck on that speed and she’s trapped like a mouse?”

  “I think you mean a hamster.”

  We both giggle, and the instructor sighs in frustration.

  “If you could be quiet so the others can enjoy the class, that would be great,” she says loudly, making us both giggle.

  “We’re in trouble,” I mutter, and we’re quiet for the rest of the class, moving from pose to pose, breathing deeply. It really does feel good to stretch and let my mind empty. I don’t even care if people can see my ass. I’ve been too busy lately trying to guess what’s happening with Trevor, and buried under work.

  It’s a lot to handle all at once.

  But by the end of the class, I feel loose and relatively carefree, which is a huge improvement.

  “Namaste,” the instructor says as we all stand and leave the room. Ironically, Addie is wearing a T-shirt that says namastay in bed.

  I love this woman.

  Kat slows the treadmill down and hops off after her cooldown, panting and sweating as she joins us. “How was your class?”

  “It was yoga,” Addie replies. “What was chasing after you? You were sprinting.”

  “The way I figure it, if I run super fast, I can run less often since I’m burning more calories.”

  “Makes sense,” I reply with a nod.

  “Okay, Riley was telling me about Trevor texting her this morning, even though she broke up with him last night.”

  “Wait.” Kat stops, holding her hand up. “You broke up with him?”