I cough, trying to breathe, but blood spurts from my mouth. I want to give up, just lie down and die. My body and mind both feel so broken, but the will to live kicks in, and I claw my fingernails into the dirt and drag my body toward the trees.
No, I can’t let them capture—
Fingers enclose around my shoulder and flip me over onto my back. The blue sky has turned a thunderous grey, and a mysterious silence has settled around me.
Am I dead …?
I feel myself being pulled somewhere else.
“Allura, can you hear me?” a familiar voice asks.
“I know you.” I cough through the blood. “You’ve saved me before, but you’re not from this memory.”
“Allura.” His voice basks over me like a hot summer day underneath the sun. “Answer me.”
“I am.” Why can’t he hear me?
He sounds upset, and I want to comfort him, but I think I might be dying. I was shot so many times by those men on horses in a world I hardly remember, but that no longer exists …
Wait. I’m only dreaming. I have to be.
“Squeeze my hand if you can hear me,” the guy says, taking my hand.
I try to squeeze it, but my fingers feel numb. It’s okay, I want to say. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I always am …
Darkness rims my vision.
“Whatever you do, don’t close your eyes,” he whispers in my ear.
That’s when it hits me.
Blaise. He’s alive. He didn’t die. He’s here with me. But where is here? Where am I? I can’t see anything anymore.
“Just hang on,” he demands. “Don’t go to sleep.”
I want to hold on. I don’t want to go back to that nightmare where I’m lying shot on the ground. I want to stay with Blaise, but exhaustion drags me down.
I hear him curse, scream in frustration, and then he cups my head in his hands.
“Just give in to it,” he says, defeated.
“Give in … to what …?”
“The poison.”
“What … poison …?” My voice fades, and I fade along with it.
Chapter Nine
Dreamland
When I open my eyes again, I’m lying in the dewy grass, gazing up at the stormy sky. Purple and silver bolts of lightning flash in the distance, illuminating the lofty trees and rolling mountains around me. Quietness has settled, the noises of horses, guns, and men shouting no longer haunting the air. The scent of rain fills my lungs as I take a breath.
“I tried to get it as close to what you described as possible.”
Blaise’s voice startles me, and I start to leap to my feet, but he snags my elbow and pins me down to the ground.
“Don’t move,” he warns. “If you do, you’ll break the connection, and then I could lose you.”
I turn my head, following his voice, then blink at the empty space beside me.
“Where are you?”
“Right beside you,” he says. “You just can’t see me.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re stuck in dreamland, and I’m here in reality.”
I drape my arm across my forehead, dizzy with confusion. “I don’t understand. One minute, I’m getting hauled to a camp by the Forsaken, and then I’m in some place where people are trying to shoot me, and now I’m here … and I can hear you … but I can’t see you.”
He heaves a sigh. “You were poisoned by the Forsaken. Someone gave you a shot of dreamland, and now your mind is teetering between falling into your nightmares and trying to grasp reality. And the reality is you’re just lying in the hole with me.”
“So the stormy sky isn’t real?”
“The sky’s only there because I’m … helping your mind rest. If I were to let you go, you’d probably tumble into whatever nightmare you were having before I grabbed you. You said you were dreaming someone was trying to shoot you?”
I bob my head up and down. “They did shoot me, and I was dying, but then I heard you, and now I’m here.”
“Do you dream about stuff like that often?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever dreamed that I was shot before, but I’ve had bad dreams … ones where I was being chased by wardens. But I don’t know if they’re dreams for sure. Sometimes, I think I’m remembering stuff I forgot, stuff that happened a long time ago, yet …” I trail off. Yet I’m always the same age.
A beat of silence stretches between us.
“When I was first brought to the station, after I …” He lets out a rough cough. “But, anyway, I had a lot of nightmares. And a lot of them were connected to … the shit I saw before I came to the station.”
I wonder what kind of stuff he saw—what haunts his nightmares—but don’t dare ask.
“Do you still have them?” I ask. “I mean, the nightmares?”
“No too much, thanks to Reece.”
“How did Reece help?”
“He hooked me up to this machine called Oblivion and pinpointed the cause for my memories. After a lot of work and a lot of fucking pain, he managed to fade some of the memories causing the nightmares.”
“Do …? Do the Grim have a machine like that? Maybe they used it on me, and that’s why a lot of my old memories are resurfacing.”
“Not that I know of. Reece built the machine himself,” he says. “But machines pretty much run the world—well, besides the Grim. So there could be another machine out there like it.”
“Sometimes, I think I remember a world that doesn’t have machines.” I jolt as thunder booms and the ground vibrates. “Like the one where I was being shot at. Everyone was riding around on horses, and there were no cars or signs of the Grim. There were trees and a field and a river.”
“That is strange,” he murmurs. “I’ve never seen most of that stuff.”
I shut my eyes. “I feel like I came from someplace else, and maybe that’s why I’m always so confused all the time. Maybe those burial places you guys talk about really do exist, and I lived there once.” I open my eyes and stare up at the cloudy sky. “I don’t know why the sky would be blue there and red everywhere else.”
“There could be a lot of reasons for that. Maybe it wasn’t the sky you saw, but a screen.”
“What’s a screen?”
I feel him shift beside me, his hands never leaving my head.
“We’ve found them in a couple of channels,” he explains. “The wardens use them to give the illusion that the cells look like someplace else, mostly to mess with the minds of the Nameless. It’s their twisted way of making them feel like they’re going crazy. Still, those screens are really small, and the wardens usually use them to display horrible things. I’ve never seen one as big as the sky. And I didn’t notice one in your cell or anywhere else in that section of channels.”
“It’s not just the sky,” I say. “Sometimes, I dream of quiet streets and old buildings and trees and grass and flowers and dirt roads. I’m wearing these long dresses, and people around me are dressed differently, too.”
“I wish I had some answers to give you, but I don’t. Maybe Reece can get to the bottom of it when we get back to the station. He can hook you up to Oblivion and see what’s going on inside your head.” His fingertip sketches along my hairline. “How are you right now? I tried to fill your thoughts with the cloudy sky and the lightning you told me about. I don’t really know what they look like, so I hope I got it right.”
I manage a small smile. “You did. It’s so much like the place I pictured when I was trapped.”
“Good,” he says with a drop of relief.
“How long will I see the sky before I return to reality?”
“It all depends. Normally, the poison can take several hours to wear off, but with you, it might not take as long.”
“Why would it take less time for me?” I ask then immediately want to retract my question. Deep down, I think I may already know the answer—because I have Grim blood in me and heal more quickly. But does Blaise know?
&n
bsp; “Allura, your hands are completely healed and scarred over when, only twenty-four hours ago, they were scraped raw.” He pauses. “Then there was your shoulder. I know it was dislocated, but now it’s fine. And I’m pretty sure you cut your head on that shelf, but the wound healed before Mable could even get stitches in it.”
My breathing turns ragged. Blaise has always known I’m a little different, but does he know about my blood? Will he ask me if I know what I am? How will I answer?
As if tuning in to my panic, the lightning picks up, blazing across the sky like a firework show.
“You need to calm down,” he advises. “Or I won’t be able to control where your mind goes.”
“I’m trying,” I croak between breaths.
His warm fingers spread across my cheeks. “Look, I know you’re different. I’ve always sort of known. But it’s not a bad thing. And … I get it.”
His words calm me down, and I breathe evenly again.
Reece and Ryder have mentioned Blaise is different. Maybe he understands what I’m going through.
“How are you doing this to me?” I whisper. “How are you keeping me out of my nightmares and letting me see this sky?”
“It’s complicated.”
“But it’s because you’re different?”
He takes a couple of breaths. “Yeah, because I’m different.”
“Are you …? Are you human?”
“Yes and no.” A drop of rawness slips into his tone. “But you don’t need to be afraid of me.”
“I’m not afraid of you,” I reply. How could I be afraid of him when I’m lying here under the cloudy sky that he somehow created in my head? “One day, will you explain what you are?”
“One day,” he says, but I can’t tell if he means it or not.
Deciding to drop the subject for now, I fold my arms across my stomach and gaze up at the sky. “So, now what do we do?”
“We wait for the poison to wear off.”
“Then what?” A thought strikes me hard, like a kick to the gut. “Wait? Where are Ryder and Reece?”
“In the tents probably.”
“What are they doing up there?”
“You probably don’t want to know.”
“Oh.” My gut coils into knots, nausea setting in. “They told me to watch out for them, and I didn’t. Whatever happens to them … It’s my fault.”
He sighs. “It’s not your fault. You were pretty much unconscious when you were brought here.”
“But Ryder and Reece gave me the last shot of Shade, and I wasted it.” I frown. “I never should’ve let that queen—or whatever she is—shoot me.”
“The queen?”
“Yeah, the woman the Forsaken kept calling ‘your highness.’ ”
“Oh.” His confusion leaves his tone. “That’s the Forsaken’s leader.”
“Yeah, like their queen.” A bolt of lightning flashes right above me, so close I can feel the electricity flowing off it. “But she wasn’t wearing a crown.”
“Hmmm … I think this might be one of those things that you remember that we don’t.”
“Oh.” How many times is this going to happen? How many things do I remember that no longer exist? Will every revelation be disappointing?
I sink into the quiet, listening to the thunder grumble as Blaise restlessly shifts around. Every once in a while, his fingers tremble, and I find myself reaching up, wanting to comfort him. When my fingertips brush his scruffy jawline, he sucks in a sharp breath, and the tension pouring off him nearly doubles.
Confusion and curiosity swirl through me. Why does he still seem somewhat tense around me?
“Blaise, can I ask you a question?”
“I … I guess so.”
“Why were you afraid of me when we first met?”
“I wasn’t,” he lies.
I trace my fingers from his jaw to his lips and graze my fingers along the metal piercings. “When you carried me through the scanner, it seemed like you were. I could feel your heart pounding.”
“I was worried we weren’t going to make it out alive,” he chokes. “Allura, what are you doing?”
I absentmindedly graze my fingers back and forth across his lips. They’re so soft. “Huh?”
“With your fingers … and the touching …?” He’s breathing so ravenously he’s practically panting.
“I’m sorry.” I lower my hand. “I don’t know why I did that. You just seemed upset, and I was trying to comfort you.” I feel ridiculously clueless about everything. Why can’t I comfort them like they comfort me?
“You’re fine.” He sounds more at ease now that my hands aren’t pawing at his mouth. “I just have a problem with being touched. It has nothing to do with you, though.”
“Oh.” Why? I wonder. But I don’t think he wants to talk about it, so I don’t ask.
“Where’s your mind right now?” He changes the subject. “Are you still under that grey sky?”
I nod. “It smells really good here, like rain and fresh grass.”
“Rain? Like water from the sky?”
“Yeah … Please tell me it rains here.”
“I’ve heard of rain, but I’ve never seen it. It doesn’t happen very often.”
I crinkle my nose. Hardly any rain. No blue sky. No grass. No trees. No nature. What a sad place the world is.
“Hold still for a minute,” he mumbles. “Let me see what I can do.”
I don’t know what he means, but I remain perfectly still, anyway.
His fingers move, his fingertips tickling along my hairline. A soft hum fills my head, and I close my eyes and spread my arms out to the side, relaxing in the dirt. I’m so comfortable right now I could probably fall asleep.
“See anything yet?”
“No, but I feel—”
A droplet of water splatters across my forehead. My eyelids snap open right as another raindrop lands on my cheek. A smile graces my lips as another one splashes against my neck and rolls down my collarbone.
“Is it working?” he asks.
“Yes.” I beam from ear to ear then open my mouth and catch a few raindrops on my tongue.
“You look so funny right now,” he remarks, his tone lighter than it was moments ago.
Giggling, I stick out my tongue and lap up more raindrops. I hear the quietest laugh escape him. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Blaise laugh. I wish I could see what he looks like with his eyes lit up and his lips curved into a smile.
“I feel bad,” I admit after the rain dwindles to a drizzle.
“Why’s that? Is it the dream? Because I can change it if you need me to.”
“No, it’s not that.” I tuck my arm behind my head. “It’s just that I’m lying here, laughing, while Reece and Ryder probably aren’t. Or maybe they are. They were laughing the last time I saw them and crying.”
“The poison does that.” He must be close to me, because his breath tickles my cheek when he speaks. “You were doing it, too, when they put you in here. At first, I thought you just breathed in the smoke, but then I saw the spot on your neck and guessed they shot you with a dart.”
I move my hand to the back of my neck. “I thought she shot me with a gun. With everything you guys told me about the Forsaken, I figured I was dead.”
“We all should be,” he says bluntly. “I don’t know why we’re not. I think the Forsaken might have something planned. I heard a couple of them mention some sort of sacrifice, and I’m pretty sure they have more prisoners here than just us.”
“I heard someone mention the same thing. Does that mean they’re going to kill us eventually?”
“They may think they are, but they’re not. I’m going to get us out of here.” His confidence makes me almost believe him. “How did you guys even get captured? I thought you were staying in the caves.” He says the caves with so much repulsion.
“We were, but something happened, and we had to leave.” I wrestle back the images I saw through Lex’s eyes. “Reece and Ryder tho
ught we’d be okay because the sun was down, but then the Forsaken showed up. It was almost like they were waiting for us to step out of the cave so they could attack.”
“They probably were,” he says with bitterness. “They hate those caves. And they have every reason to.”
“I know.” I press my fingertips to my temple as my head pounds. “Ryder told me about the spirits. We think one of them—Lex—entered me. I saw all these things—his thoughts—and I—”
“What!” he shouts, his fingers shaking. “One of those disgusting creatures took over your mind?”
The sky trembles, casting multiple bolts of lightning across the clouds.
“Blaise, calm down. The sky—”
An alarming sound cuts me off, like air getting sucked through a vent. The ground begins to tremor, the grass and dirt caving in around me. I spring to my feet and search the area for a Tracker, but I can’t spot one. My gaze impulsively travels upward, and my next breath gets lodged in my throat.
The grey sky has darkened to charcoal, and the clouds have solidified into funnels that gyrate and expand as they reach toward the ground.
“Blaise …” My voice gets sucked away as a blast of wind nails me from behind.
Tornadoes. The word sears into my mind as my body flies through the air, straight toward the funnel of clouds.
“Allura!” Blaise sounds so far away.
“I’m right—” A tree collides with my body, and I go sailing sideways away from the tornadoes.
My body spins out of control, and I soar toward a forest in the distance. Not wanting to get hit by more trees, I spread my arms and legs out and try to change directions. But the wind kicks up and forces me forward, right toward a massive tree. With how fast I’m going, the impact will probably break every one of my bones. The only comfort I have is knowing I’ll probably heal—well, hopefully. Since my ability is new and untested, I don’t know if there are limitations.
I close my eyes and attempt to prepare myself for the pain. Blaise’s face flashes through my mind, and I hang onto the image. I wish he were here with me. Or better yet, I wish I were there with him.
Forsaken (Broken City Book 2) Page 7
