The guy I thought I loved once …
Pierce.
But the happiness and love that filled his eyes after he carved our names into the tree is no longer there. Instead, his face is twisted in agony, and when our gazes weld, that agony turns to loathing.
Tugging on the reins, he kicks the horse with the heels of his boots and gallops off toward a Victorian two-story house about a mile down the field. I watch him slip farther and farther away from me, the hole in my heart expanding.
“He knows what you are now,” the man says, his fingernails delving into my flesh. “You were never supposed to exist, Allura. Human and Grim breeding was never supposed to happen.” Anger flares in his eyes. “You, the rest of them—all the Grim—you taint the world. You go around, taking whatever you want and destroying everything in your paths. What you can do…” He shakes his head, his lips curling. “Something like you shouldn’t exist. You’re an abomination.”
“I don’t mean to destroy anything.” I lower my head as a few hot tears escape my eyes. My legs tremble, threatening to give out on me.
“I honestly believe that.” His harsh tone softens a smidgen. “But that doesn’t change anything. As long as you exist, the world is going to perish. And if the Grim get ahold of you, our fate will be worse than it is already. We’ve spent years trying to destroy your kind, and I think I’ve finally figured out how. Your blood continuously heals you, but take that away, and you can’t heal anymore. Bleed you dry, and you die.”
He grips me so tightly I’d probably bruise if I were human. But I won’t. The blood in my veins is already working to heal me.
I choke back a sob. “I’m sorry I’m this way. If I could change it, I would.”
“Well, you can’t. Wait. What’s happening?” Alarm floods the man’s voice. “Wait! No … Goddammit, not again …” His fingers leave my wrists, and I crumble to the ground.
Tears stream from my eyes as I rock back and forth. I can feel the blood pumping in my veins, working to heal where the man gripped me. I want it to stop. I want to bruise. I don’t want to be like the Grim.
I don’t want to be a monster.
Chapter Eleven
Empathy
The next thing I become aware of is that I’m lying on a soft surface and dust fills my lungs. I don’t open my eyes, though, even when Blaise utters my name. I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye.
Mable warned me that, if anyone found out what I was, it could end badly for me. Clearly, she was right since those men seemed determined to kill me because of what I am. I just wish I knew who they were, how they found out about me, and how I became such an appalling creature. Was I always like this? Or was I created? It’s hard to know for sure when I hardly remember anything about my life. And the bits and pieces I do remember don’t make sense half the time.
But what I really wish for the most is that Blaise didn’t know about the monster that lives inside my blood, a monster he has declared his revulsion for more than once.
“Allura, open your eyes please.” He huffs an exasperated breath. “I can tell the dreamland’s worn off because you’re breathing normally again, so please stop pretending.”
Guilt festers inside me as I open my eyes and sit up.
He’s leaning closer than I expected, and I end up bumping my head against his chin. He curses, leaning away from me, while I scramble backward until my back slams against a muddy wall.
“I-I’m sorry.” I press the heel of my hand to my throbbing forehead and force my gaze off the ground to see if he’s okay.
He stares at me, rubbing his chin, an unreadable expression on his face.
Shame weighs against my shoulders. Ryder told me the Grim killed Blaise’s entire family. How can he stand to be in this confined hole with me? He probably can’t.
The silence between us seems to go on for hours.
Unable to endure looking him in the eye any longer, I stare at the curved, dirt walls around me and then at the metal grate above where the bleeding sky is visible. I saw a ton of grates in the ground on my way into camp. My heavy heart sinks even more. I’m underground … again.
“How long have you been experiencing memories like that?” His firm voice shatters the silence. “Was that the first time it’s been that vivid, or has it happened more than once?”
I keep my gaze glued to the sky, even when my eyes start to water. “I don’t know. I mean, I’ve had some vivid dreams before and spaced out into some memories while I was awake, but what just happened … that felt different. More real, like I was actually reliving it, only the events happened slightly differently. I think it’s because you were there.”
“It felt real to me, too. I don’t even know how I lost control. Maybe it was because I was in there with you.” His voice rises, his anger returning, and he quickly clears his throat several times. “I just wish I knew what was going on. I thought I’d learned almost everything I could do, but apparently not.”
I sneak a glance in his direction. “How long have you been able to do that? I mean, control people’s thoughts.”
“Since before I came to the station,” he bites out. “I’ve been able to do a lot of weird things since I was about twelve, but I didn’t really learn about my abilities until Reece came along and studied me.” He rolls his tongue in his mouth, like he’s fighting back something bitter. “When he hooked me up to Oblivion, he discovered I have abnormal brain waves and that I could control people’s thoughts. It takes a lot of concentration on my part, and the person usually has to be unconscious or doped up. Reece told me I might eventually be able to do it without even touching someone, but I haven’t been able to do it yet.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t seem to get my own mind to relax. Reece gave me more of an explanation than that, but he used a lot of big, scientific words, and honestly, I got bored and kind of tuned him out.” He rests his arms on his bent knees, his gaze boring into me. But when he speaks, his calm tone doesn’t match the intensity flowing off him. “I’m glad you’re looking at me again. I was worried you weren’t ever going to.”
I stare down at my boots, feeling ashamed of what I am.
“I don’t know why you’d be glad. You heard what they said … about me.”
“Yeah, I heard what he said, but it doesn’t mean I believe it,” he all but growls. “That’s not the first time I’ve heard someone ramble about hybrids. Saying shit like that only stirs up riots. It’s happened too many fucking times and caused too many innocent people to die.”
I draw my legs to my chest and rest my head against my knees. “But it could be true,” I whisper. “I mean, we know something’s wrong with me. Maybe my blood really is different, and that’s why I heal so fast … because I’m a monster.”
“Stop that.” His sharp tone causes me to jump. “Don’t ever say that again. Different or not, you’re not a monster.”
His defending me only makes me feel worse. He has risked his life for me so many times, and he doesn’t even realize what he’s trying to save. I’m not just a Nameless. I have evil blood inside me, pumping my heart, keeping me alive.
Guilt strangles me by the throat, and before I can stop myself, I sputter, “That’s not the only reason I think I might have Grim blood in me. Mable … she said … my blood is … different.”
When he doesn’t say anything, I peer up between my arms.
He looks completely unbothered. I don’t understand his reaction. Did he not hear me?
“I already knew that.” He steadily holds my gaze. “I overheard Mable tell you.”
My pulse quickens. “You overheard her? How? We were in a room with steel walls.”
His pierced brow arches. “I have excellent hearing, Allura. I can hear clearly, even through a steel door.”
“Does Mable know that?”
“No. Only Reece and Ryder and Rae do. They’re the only three who know what I am.”
“Oh.” I don’t know how to process th
at. He’s known this entire time, yet he still helped me down the cliff, ordered Ryder to wrap my hands, and then tried to keep me out of dreamland. “How can you stand to look at me?”
Empathy fills his eyes. “Even if you were one, which I’m still not sure you are, I wouldn’t be afraid of you.”
“Why not? If I were one, I could hurt you.”
“I’ve had people hurt me before. You’re not like that.”
I hug my knees against my chest, recollecting the memory I had of dancing in a snowy forest and almost being kissed and then the hunger that rose inside me.
“How can you be so sure?”
He scoots toward me and brushes his fingers along the corner of my eye, a movement so quick I have little time to react. “Because I can see it in here. You’re not evil. You’re scared and worried and strong and brave. And for whatever reason, you care about Reece and Ryder … and me.” He lowers his hand to his lap. “I saw you, you know. When the shots were fired, you jumped toward me to protect me.”
“I didn’t want you to get shot.”
“I know. So how can I be afraid of you? And besides, how could I be afraid of you when you’re not afraid of me?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug, still not fully understanding his reaction. I might be part Grim, and he hates the Grim, so why doesn’t he hate me? “Do Reece and Ryder know? Did you tell them what Mable said about my blood?”
He shakes his head. “No. And we can wait to tell them until you’re ready.”
“Do you think they’ll hate me?” I whisper.
He firmly shakes his head. “No, they won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
He stares at the wall to the side of him. “Because they don’t hate me.”
I assess him, trying to figure him out. If he’s not a hybrid, what is he? I’m about to ask him—maybe now that my secret has come out, he’ll share his, too—but he suddenly stiffens, his gaze shooting up to the metal grate.
“Shit, we have company,” he says, jumping to his feet.
I stand up and hold my breath as the metal grate is dragged aside, and sunlight spills into the hole. The brightness isn’t bothering me as much as it did when I first exited the channels, although my eyes do still burn and water. I rub my eyes and blink a few times, trying to alleviate the burn.
“Glad to see you’re up.” Wrath appears above us with a wicked grin plastered across his face. “Now it’s time to play.”
Chapter Twelve
Legend of Hybrids
Blaise moves in front of me and backs me up until I’m trapped between him and the muddy wall.
“You’re not touching her,” he snarls, spreading his arms out to the side of him.
“Oh, you think so?” Wrath sneers. “And who’s going to stop me?”
“Me,” Blaise replies without missing a beat.
Wrath’s laughter echoes through the hole. “Is that supposed to scare me?”
“It should.” Blaise’s threatening tone sends goose bumps across my skin.
“Like I’m afraid of you or anyone from the station, for that matter.” Wrath laughs. “You guys think you’re so much better than us simply because you were trained. Well, here’s a reality check. Training and classes don’t prepare you for the chaos that comes with real life. You’re nowhere near as lethal as us.”
“You think I learned how to fight at the station?” Blaise taunts Wrath.
“What? Are you saying you were once a Forsaken?” Wrath snaps. “Because if that’s true, then you’re a traitor and deserve a traitor’s death.”
“I wasn’t a Forsaken,” Blaise says. “I came from a place that taught me how to be much more lethal than you savages.”
I can hear Wrath’s heavy breathing from all the way down here. While I understand that Blaise may think he’s protecting me from Wrath, I’m not sure angering Wrath is going to help the situation.
I lean against Blaise, pressing my chest against his back. “Maybe I should just go with him. I think you might be making him mad,” I whisper. “I don’t want him to hurt you.”
“He can’t hurt me,” Blaise tells me. “But I’d rather him try than take you anywhere.”
“I don’t—”
“Sh … Let me handle this.” Blaise lowers his hands to his sides, but he remains standing in front of me as he calls up to Wrath, “Is that fear I smell?”
“Fear,” Wrath growls. “I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Then prove it,” Blaise demands, crossing his arms over his chest. “Challenge me.”
He laughs, but this time, the noise sounds more forced. “Challenge you? That’d be disgracing my name.”
“Disgracing your name?” Blaise questions. “No, I think you’re just scared.”
“How dare you talk to me like that!” Wrath seethes. “You’re the prisoner. You will respect me.”
“I don’t respect anyone without a reason,” Blaise replies. “And right now, I see nothing to respect.”
A loud crash reverberates from above, causing me to shudder.
“Relax,” Blaise hisses at me. “I’ve got this under control.”
I want to believe him, but it’s difficult when we’re the ones trapped in a hole, and Wrath is above, completely free to do whatever he wants.
“Fine,” Wrath roars. “If you want to challenge me, challenge accepted. You and I will fight to the death.” Satisfaction creeps into his tone. “I’m sure Zinnia can live with one less prisoner.”
Fight to the death!
“Blaise, you can’t do this.”
“Sh …” is all he says.
Fear hammers through my veins, potent and toxic. I need to find a way to get Blaise out of this. I won’t let him die because of me.
“In fact, I think Zinnia might enjoy watching someone from the station die,” Wrath adds, trying to provoke Blaise.
“I’m sure she would,” Blaise responds calmly. “Sucks to be her, though, since she won’t get to see that happen.”
“Who’s Zinnia?” I whisper, clutching the bottom of Blaise’s leather jacket.
“It’s this group of Forsaken’s leader, I think,” Blaise says in a low tone.
This group? Meaning there are more than one?
“Wrath, what are you doing?” A woman’s voice drifts from above. “You know you’re not supposed to be near the prisoners.”
“I was just chatting with them,” Wrath snaps. “And besides, I’m supposed to be taking one of them to Zinnia.”
“Are you sure that’s all you were doing?” the woman questions. “Because someone reported that you were trying to collect the girl for yourself. And I’m pretty sure I just overheard you accept a challenge from the male one.”
“He threw a challenge at me,” Wrath grumbles. “I had to accept.”
“You can’t accept without permission from Zinnia,” the woman reminds him. “And you won’t be taking the female prisoner anywhere. Zinnia requested her presence.”
I frown. I have to go and see Zinnia, their leader who—I’m guessing—is the woman who shot me with a dreamland dart?
Fear courses through me. Why does she want to see me? Because she saw my number?
“Blaise, this Zinnia woman saw my number,” I sputter, “right before she shot me with the dart.”
“It’ll be okay. I’ll figure something out,” Blaise whispers, but he doesn’t sound as certain as he did a few minutes ago.
“Why does she want to see her?” Wrath asks.
“I have no idea,” the woman answers. “But that’s not for you to worry about. Now go speak to Zinnia about the challenge you want to have with the male prisoner and let me follow through with my orders.”
Wrath mutters something before stomping away.
“I’m going to throw down the rope,” the woman calls down to us. “Have the girl climb up.”
“She’s not going anywhere,” Blaise snaps, stepping forward. “I already told your friend that.”
“Wra
th isn’t my friend.” She sighs exhaustedly as she lowers a rope into the hole. “And she will climb up or else I’ll be forced to fill up this hole with water and let both of you drown. And I’d rather not have any more death on my hands.”
Rage currents through Blaise. “You will not—”
“Blaise, it’s okay.” I put a hand on his shoulder and step around him. “I can handle being with Zinnia for a little bit.” I offer him a small smile, even though I’m scared beyond imaginable. “Besides, it’s better than us drowning.”
“I don’t like this.” He lowers his voice. “They know you’re a Nameless. That’s not good, especially here.”
“I know, but we don’t really have a choice. I have to go up there” Telling myself to be brave, I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile before I grab the rope.
Sucking a breath, I spring on my toes, pulling up and wrapping my legs around the rope. I begin to haul myself up, my arms griping in protest every time I lift my legs. Fortunately, the distance to the top isn’t very far, because I don’t have very much upper body strength. By the time I’m dragging myself out of the hole and onto the dirt, my muscles are throbbing.
I roll onto my back, breathing heavily as the sunlight blinds me.
“You’re not from the station, are you?” The woman leans over me, giving my eyes a break from the sun.
I’m surprised by how young she is. She sounded older, but she looks around my age, and like the rest of the Forsaken, she’s wearing leather pants and a jacket and has silver cuffs around her wrists and ankles. Her wavy black hair runs down her back with the top half secured in braids. Countless piercings decorate her ears, and her eyes remind me of the ocean. I realize then that, at some point in my life, I’ve watched waves crash against a sandy shore.
“So you’re the one causing all the chaos with Wrath.” She sizes me up, her head tilting to the side. “I don’t really see what all the fuss is about. Maybe, if we cleaned you up, but I don’t know.” She extends a hand to me. “I’m Calla, by the way.”
Forsaken (Broken City Book 2) Page 9
