by Christi Snow
“I learned her mother doesn’t care one bit about her feelings or wants.”
“Bingo. She was raised under that extremely controlling thumb of her mother always telling her how to act, how to dress, how to think.”
“I know, but…”
“There’s no ‘but’ here. Someone telling Penelope what to do is a major hot-button for her. I know you already realize Penelope is smart, but you probably don’t realize just how smart she really is. She has an IQ of over 170 and made a perfect score on her SAT’s. By the way, she didn’t tell me that. Her mother did. What did she do with all that brilliance? Do you know what her degree is in?”
He shook his head.
“She earned her degree in Theater Arts…acting. She did that entirely to get out from under her parents’ tutelage. She has such an aversion to someone trying to bend her to their will, she’ll do anything including sabotaging her own life. Why do you think she developed the party girl attitude?”
He felt more and more sick as Cassie talked, but he still wasn’t quite getting the full gist of what she was saying. “I’m not sure.”
“No one has expectations from the spacey, party girl. They figure she’s in her own little world and leave her to it. That’s all Penelope wants…to keep control of her own world. From the sounds of it, this morning you tried to take control of her world and she reacted the way she always does. That’s her defense mechanism at work and this morning you triggered it.”
“So how do I fix this?” There had to be a way to fix it.
Cassie looked at him and started shaking her head. “Colt, you’re a control freak. I’m not sure you can fix it. Everything about you is hard-wired to take control of the situation and move it according to your dictate. Penelope doesn’t work like that. She can’t work like that. Her entire life has been spent trying to pull herself out of that type of situation.”
“I can’t accept that.”
Her voice softened. “And therein lays your problem.” She reached across and grabbed hold of his arm. “Colt, you may not be able to fix this and if you try, you’re both liable to get hurt even more.”
As he raised his eyes to hers, she gasped. “It’s too late, isn’t it? You’re in love with her.”
Chapter 23
Penelope looked at the clock on her cell phone. Ugh, it was only 11:32. This day was never going to end. It held such promise when she woke up this morning in Colton’s arms, but quickly degenerated into a clusterfuck of grand proportions.
She took the Bus in to get the window fixed, but ran into a major roadblock. The VW Bus was from an earlier era and there weren’t that many parts available anymore. It meant she’d lost her transportation for the whole freaking week while they waited for a part to come in.
Hannah didn’t show up for her shift so they were shorthanded at the bookstore when she already had a million and a half other things that needed her attention.
She tried to smile at the customer eyeing her from the New Fiction section, but it probably looked as bad as it felt. She felt brittle… like she could shatter at the slightest provocation. Alix kept shooting her questioning looks, but luckily they’d been too busy for Alix to corner her yet. Thank God, it was almost time for Jon to arrive so she could retreat into the corner of her office. She didn’t know how much longer she could be pleasant with the customers and not burst into tears.
At that moment, the bell above the door rang and relief surged through her as Jon walked in. She only had to hold it together for a few more minutes. She gave him a tight smile and greeting as she came around the back of the desk. She was halfway up the stairs to her office when the bell rang again.
Out of habit, Penelope looked to see who entered. Her breath caught and the tears surged forth as Cassie walked in. No, no, no. She couldn’t deal with this today. Not today.
Cassie took one look at her tear-brimmed eyes and rushed over to her side. She gathered her into a huge hug before Penelope could escape. Penelope couldn’t say anything as the pressure on her chest suffocated her and she valiantly tried to gain control of her emotions.
“Is anyone else here besides Jon?”
She nodded and managed to croak out, “Alix.”
Cassie pursed her lips and gave her a sympathetic smile. “Okay, good.” She turned to Jon. “Can you let Alix know I’m taking Pen to lunch?”
“Sure,” he said, watching them curiously.
“Thanks. I’ll bring her back in a couple of hours.”
When they got to Cassie’s jeep, she pushed her into the seat and handed her a wad of tissues. Cassie patiently waited while the sobs subsided.
“I’m sorry. God, I don’t usually get this emotional. It must be hormones.”
Cassie pursed her lips. “Or… it could be your heart is breaking and you don’t know what to do about it.”
Penelope looked into the eyes of her best friend, but also Colton’s sister. “So is this where you say, ‘I told you so’?”
“Nope. This is where I take you out to get some good chocolate, continue to hand you tissues, and try to talk some sense into you. You know he really likes you right?”
Penelope’s eyes started to tear up again as she nodded. “It seemed like it.”
“There’s no ‘seemed’ about it, Pen. He came and saw me this morning and he’s just as torn up about this as you are.” She waved at the pile of tissues in Penelope’s lap. “Except he’s more of a guy… he does it without the waterworks and emotional display.” She glanced over to Penelope as she drove. “Regardless of the evidence to the contrary right this minute, I may have been wrong.”
Penelope gave a bitter laugh. “How do you figure? It seems to me you were right on the mark this time.”
“Maybe on the surface, but I’ve never seen you this torn up over a guy before. That alone tells me this is something more…maybe something worth fighting for.”
“Do you really think so?” Did she dare to hope?
Cassie nodded. “At least consider it. Obviously I’m biased because both of you fall into my favorite people category, but you could find some sort of compromise to make this work. Colt’s not unreasonable. Yes, he’s overbearing and domineering, but he’s still a good guy. Talk to him about it. Tell him what you’re feeling. See if you can find some sort of middle ground.”
What Cassie said made sense. Yes, it meant opening up for possibly more hurt further down the road. But when she thought about last night, Penelope’s body reacted with tingles and chills even though it had been several hours since she’d seen Colton. That had to mean something. It also meant something that she wanted to pick up the phone to talk to him, even though he was the one who upset her. Already she relied on him for his friendship and support.
They pulled into a parking spot at the local cupcake bakery and Penelope smirked at Cassie. “I thought we were going to eat lunch.”
Cassie feigned an innocent look. “What? They’re full of cocoa beans. You’re a vegetarian and beans are good for you. Besides, all those tears mean you need chocolate to revive your system. Chocolate is a known cure for dehydration from crying.”
“Hmm, that almost sounded believable.”
“Absolutely. If you say it with confidence, people will believe you. Trust me.”
* * *
Feeling better after a couple of hours laughing with Cassie, Penelope returned to the bookstore, ready once again to tackle her huge to-do list. But first, she needed to be a friend to someone else.
She listened to the phone ring and was about to hang up when she heard a harried answer on the other end, “Dr. Lopez here.”
“Damon? It’s Penelope.”
“Well, hey, gorgeous.”
“Hey, yourself. I hear you had to head back to Belize without even a ‘goodbye’ for yours truly.”
“I’m sorry, Penelope. Unfortunately, there was an emergency and I had to get back immediately.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Of course, everything’s fi
ne.”
For some reason, his answer didn’t sound true. Maybe it was the false humor she could hear in his voice even over the phone line. She scowled and wondered what he was hiding. “Are you sure, Damon? Everything doesn’t sound fine.” No answer from him so she pressed on. “Listen, the reason that I ask is that Saturday night after the party, something happened.”
“What happened? Are you okay?” He suddenly sounded frantic, but she hadn’t told him the nature of the incident.
“Yes, I’m fine. Everyone’s fine so far. There was a note on my Bus. It said I needed to return ‘the gift’ and no one would get hurt. But I have no idea what they were talking about. Last night it occurred to me maybe this has something to do with El Regalo.”
“Hang on, Penelope.”
She could hear muffled shouts. The mouthpiece on the phone was obviously covered with something but it sounded like Damon yelling at someone in Spanish.
“I’m so sorry. Please continue.”
“Damon what the hell is going on?”
He sighed deep. “I wish I could explain, but I can’t. This is just a very difficult country to work in and problems arise because of that. But we were talking about you and your issues. Have you had any more problems?”
“No and I’m hoping that stays the case.”
“Okay, stay close to Colton. He’ll keep you safe. I should be back in town sometime later this week. I’ll give you a call then, okay?”
He was rushing her off the phone and she had no idea why. But with him out of the country, there wasn’t a whole lot she could do about it.
“That sounds good Damon. I hope you get everything straightened out there.”
“Thanks. Bye, Penelope.”
Something wasn’t right there. She lifted her shoulders to loosen the tension in them. She couldn’t help Damon if he didn’t want her to. Besides she had her own stresses to dwell on right now.
She hung up the phone and looked at the calendar on the wall. Twelve days until the book signing. And then a week after the signing, the next installment in the Celeste DeMarco series was due to her editor. Luckily, the first draft was done, but it still needed some hard polishing before it was ready for her editor. She had a lot of work to do. It was time to stop worrying about Damon and moping about Colton. They’d talk when she got home tonight.
* * *
Alix gave Penelope a ride home since her Bus was in the shop for the duration. Her stomach did flip-flops at the idea of seeing Colton after this morning, but she was a big girl. She could do this. She climbed the stairs to work off the cupcakes she ate for lunch and to give her more time to plan what she needed to say. First thing, she needed to apologize for the way she’d acted this morning. She cringed at the memory of thanking him for the use of his body. That was really not cool. She would suck it up and make it up to him.
As she entered the apartment, the dead quiet revealed that Colton wasn’t home. She dropped her paperwork in a chair and looked around. On the counter was a single tulip with a note attached.
Penelope, I had to leave town and probably won’t be home tonight. I’m sorry. I know we need to talk and hope you will be open to that tomorrow. Last night was amazing. I’ll miss having you in my bed tonight. See you tomorrow. –Colton
Okay, that didn’t sound so bad. Maybe he wasn’t mad about what a shrew she’d been this morning. She really hoped he wasn’t.
She changed into some comfy pj’s and poured herself a glass of wine. Colton’s absence gave her the perfect opportunity to work on some of her writing. She’d printed out the rough draft of Dominating Clint at the bookstore today and was ready to go at it with her red marker.
This was the third book in the series about the Hawkins family, six brothers and two sisters running a ranch in Texas. They were definitely an erotic bunch and several of the siblings had BDSM tendencies. This particular book featured Clint, who always considered himself a Dom until he met Ashley and found out he liked to submit to this Domme’s rules.
Penelope had written several books about the BDSM lifestyle, but this was the first time she’d written her heroine as the Domme. It was exciting and fun for a different change of pace. She’d even bought a tell-all book from a practicing Domme to make sure she had all her facts correct. It was most definitely titillating reading and writing.
She took a sip of her wine and imagined Colton in a submissive role. She almost snorted her wine up her nose. Like that would ever happen. She might be able to calm his controlling tendencies down a bit, but she could never imagine him letting go to that extreme.
* * *
Colton tiptoed into the loft. He’d hated that he had to leave town so suddenly. He’d gone to San Antonio to check on a plane for sale. It was only going to be in town for a single night so he didn’t have much choice if he wanted to see it. Unfortunately, the trip was a waste as the plane wasn’t going to work for Mad Rob. He hadn’t planned to come back tonight. But after leaving things hanging with Penelope the way he had, he couldn’t stand the thought of not seeing her. He needed to know things were okay between them.
He lowered his bag to the floor just inside the door. There was still a light on in the living room so he crept in. Penelope was sound asleep on the couch. Looking at the nearly empty wine bottle sitting next to her, he guessed she wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon. She’d pulled her blonde hair up into a messy pony tail and wore some horrible flannel pajamas, but a peace settled into his heart just looking at her. He was such a goner.
She had papers and books spread all over the place and one in particular caught his eye. Just what was Penelope reading? My Life as a Domme. Curious now, he took a closer look at the papers surrounding her. It appeared to be a book, but she’d obviously been marking it up. Maybe she did freelance editing or proofreading on the side.
He’d already been half-hard ever since he’d laid eyes on the sleeping Penelope, but as he read a couple of the pages, his erection came on at full-force. Whoa, this was hot stuff. He looked back over at Penelope, hoping not to get caught, but this was good reading. He sat down and read a bit more. Fuck, he needed a cold shower.
He glanced back over at Penelope and thought about their issues. She was still sound asleep and her book gave him an interesting idea. Very interesting. He snuck back out of the loft to see what he could do about putting his plan into action.
Chapter 24
Penelope rode her bicycle into the bookstore the next morning. Luckily her loft was only a couple miles away so it wasn’t that much of an inconvenience. She just had to watch out for the morning University traffic. It had been too long since she’d ridden. She flexed her wrist. Her fall seemed like a lifetime ago, but it was actually just a little over a week ago. Besides a bit of residual soreness, it almost felt normal. Soon she’d be able to start back with her yoga classes. She missed her normal yoga routine and the automatic stress relief it provided for her life.
And this morning she could definitely use the stress relief more than usual. When she woke up on the couch this morning, she was surprised to find she’d fallen asleep on the couch with all her writing paraphernalia around her. But even more surprising was Colton’s bag by the front door.
If he’d come home, why didn’t he awaken her?
The loft was empty apart from her presence. That was so weird. Why would he come home and then leave again without saying a word to her? It just didn’t make any sense. She thought back to the book she’d been writing. Did he see what she was working on?
Their relationship was already on shaky ground without adding that she wrote erotica into it. Most guys would think it was hot, but they were in the south where a lot of people, like her parents, would be scandalized and outraged. Surely Colton wasn’t that guy.
In fact, he’d given every indication that he liked erotica. But was there a difference in his eyes between enjoying it and doing the actual writing of it? Who knows? God, she was going to mess up her brain trying to figure out how the male mind w
orked. And besides, she was jumping to some huge conclusions here.
It was probably just a case that he came home, saw her asleep and didn’t want to awaken her. That’s the story she’d stick to. She didn’t have a choice. She had too much to do to lose another day to worrying about where things stood between her and Colt.
As she entered the store, Jon called out a cheery “Hello,” from the upper floor.
“Good morning,” she called as she climbed the stairs. “What are you doing up here?”
He was in the Science Fiction section with mounds of books lying everywhere. He glanced up at her ruefully. “With the book signing coming up, I thought this section needed a good overhaul.” He looked down at the books spilling over the floor. “It got kind of out of control.”
She laughed. “So do you have a master plan here?” She waved her hand over the mess.
“Of course I do. You know, Sylvia Roberts is a huge author in the fiction world, but a lot of her fans are romance readers because she always has a love interest in her novels. I just thought we should compound on that in the store for that weekend. Every genre has books which also feature romantic story lines.”
Penelope nodded. She could see where he was going on this and it was a great plan.
“So I’m going through the section and finding the sci fi books that also have romantic story lines and turning them face-out. Maybe we can get some of her readers to cross genre lines.”
“I like this idea. Good thinking, Jon. You’ve only done the Sci Fi section so far?”
He nodded. “Yes, it takes a while, so it’s slow work.”
“Okay, when I get a break, I’ll start doing the same in the Mystery section.”
She just wasn’t sure when that break was going to happen. She needed to contact the newspaper and make sure her spots were ready to go. She also needed to check with Hannah to see if the online newsletter was going to make it out today according to their plan.
