by Nic Tatano
“Sure.”
But something’s not right as we reach the car.
Ryan. Why didn’t Ryan come out to help? To hold me when my father wouldn’t?
I see his silhouette through the windshield. He’s not moving.
I yank open the passenger side door.
Ryan is sitting there, head back, jaw open, eyes staring blankly into space.
***
The hospital waiting room is cold, antiseptic, smelling faintly of bleach. It’s filled with a half dozen people, all of whom look either worried or bored. I’m shivering from both the temperature and worry that there might be something permanently wrong with Ryan. The paramedics said it was a simple case of shock.
Shocked by what? I don’t need a doctor to know the answer to that one. My father did something horrible to him.
It’s nearly five o’clock, and my worry has me running on empty. I pull a Snickers bar out of my purse, break off half and eat it. The chocolate, caramel and nuts keep my growling stomach at bay. But I’m still fading.
I lean my head on Roxanne’s shoulder, she wraps one arm around me. I close my eyes for a moment, replaying what happened. My father glaring at Ryan. I see the paramedics wheeling him into the emergency room on a stretcher.
God, I wish I could be in there, holding his hand. I’d give anything to trade places with him. I deserve the pain, not him. I want to take it away. Then I see myself with him, sitting on the side of the hospital bed. He’s waking up, smiling. He’s okay.
A cell phone rings, makes me jump as it jolts me out of an incredibly real daydream.
“You okay?” asks Roxanne. “You dozed off.”
“Really?” I feel physically exhausted as I look at the clock.
It’s been an hour since we arrived.
And the longer we wait, the more the demons in my mind dance around the fact that I’m blaming myself for this. I bite my lower lip and feel my eyes grow moist.
Roxanne looks at me and notices. “Stop beating yourself up.”
“Why? It’s my fault.”
“You know whose fault it is, and it’s not yours.”
“I should have left things alone. Listened to the angel.”
“I would have done the same thing. You had to know, Jillian. Now that you do, you can move on.” She reaches over and rubs her thumb over my cheek. “You got a little chocolate on your face.”
Twenty minutes later the door swings open and a middle-aged bald doctor in a white coat enters the room. He makes his way toward us so we both stand up. He offers a slight smile. “He’ll be fine.”
I exhale a ton of tension. “Thank you, doctor. Can we see him?”
“So, you’re asking permission this time?”
I furrow my brow. “What are you talking about?”
“I saw you back there twenty minutes ago when the nurse threw you out.”
“Doctor, I’ve been here in the waiting room since we brought Ryan in.”
He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Right, and I suppose there’s another teenage redhead who was in there holding his hand when he woke up. We’ve got a ton of people fitting that description around here.”
Roxanne chimes in. “Doctor, really—”
He puts up his hand. “Don’t worry, the emergency room police won’t throw you in hospital jail. But next time you follow the rules, young lady. You could have gotten in the way.”
I start to say something but Roxanne beats me to the punch. “Sorry, doctor. She’s in love. Cut her some slack.”
I blush and he offers me a big smile. “Well, your young man is asking for you. He’s in room seven. You can take him home in about an hour. I’ll get his discharge papers going.”
The doctor moves on as Roxanne looks at me wide-eyed. “What the hell was that all about?”
I shrug. “Beats the hell out of me. He was obviously mistaken. Let’s go see Ryan.”
We walk through the waiting room door and down a long white hallway, see a number seven on a door that’s cracked open. I pick up the pace, push the door open. Ryan smiles as he spots me.
I feel emotion welling up. I rush to his bed and wrap my arms around his shoulders while leaning my head on his chest. “You scared the hell out of me.”
He runs his hand lightly across my cheek. “Sorry, but your father did the same to me.” He leans down and kisses me on the forehead.
“Do you remember what happened?” asks Roxanne, as I sit up on the side of the bed. He’s hooked up to a monitor which emits a low steady beep which I assume is his heartbeat.
He nods. “Her father was close enough that I could pick up his thoughts. I was probing his mind, trying to find out how he really felt about his daughter. Then something happened.”
“What?” I ask.
“He knew I was in his mind. Then he looked right at me, and it was as if he was in control. He sent me his thoughts.” Ryan’s face grows pale and he puts up his hands in surrender. “I can’t talk about it right now. Maybe never. What I saw is too horrible to describe.”
I remember Sebastien’s words. ‘We believe he’s in direct contact with Hell.’
Ryan, reaches out and takes my hand. “Anyway, that’s when I blacked out or went into shock or whatever. I couldn’t deal with what I saw. The doctor said it was caused by a traumatic experience.” He looks deeply into my eyes. “After that, I don’t remember a thing until I woke up and you were sitting here holding my hand.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask. “We’ve been in the waiting room the whole time.”
He shakes his head and smiles. “Don’t mess with me, Sparks, not after today. I saw you plain as day, felt you holding my hand. And it almost felt like your touch was making me feel better, like you were giving me energy and absorbing my pain. It was quite a rush.”
Roxanne looks at me, then at him. “Ryan, you sure you weren’t hallucinating? Maybe it’s the meds talking.”
Ryan shakes his head. “Sorry, guys. I know what I saw. You were here, Sparks. The nurse chased you out. She told me you’d sneaked in. Then the doctor came in and asked if the pretty little redhead who was in here was my girlfriend. I know you’re trying to lighten the mood but stop playing games with me.”
Roxanne and I look at each other, at a loss for words.
He smiles. “C’mon, I know you were here.”
I still find it hard to believe him, until he offers proof that makes my blood run cold.
“You were so cute, Sparks. You looked like a little girl with chocolate on your face.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
I feel sunlight hitting my face and I crack open one eye.
Then I’m suddenly wide awake as I see the digital clock on my end table that tells me I’m two hours late for school.
“Dammit!” I throw back the covers and swing my legs out of bed, only to be greeted by a familiar face.
Fuzzball.
“Morning, sunshine,” he says, looking up from a magazine as he sits in a chair near the window.
Fortunately I’m not one of those girls who sleeps au natural, though my reflex is to quickly pull my sheets up around my neck. “Detective?”
He leans toward the door and yells, “Zelda, she’s up!”
I try to remember the events of the past day but everything after getting Ryan out of the hospital is a blank. I hear my mom’s footsteps heading quickly up the stairs. “I’d love to chat, but I need to get to school.” I head for the closet.
“I’m a truant officer today,” he says, with a wicked smile. “You have the right to remain silent.”
“I already called you in sick,” says Mom, arriving a bit out of breath after getting what will likely be her only cardio of the day. “You needed to sleep.”
I stop and turn to face her. “I can’t even remember how I got here,” I say.
“You were out cold when you kids got back… from the Jersey shore,” says Mom, raising both eyebrows. “They couldn’t even wake you up. Ryan carried you in fro
m the car and put you to bed.”
Damn. There’s a mental image I’d love to rewind. Sure wish I’d been awake for that. Tuck me in, big boy. “Is he okay?”
“He’s at The Summit getting checked out. He spent the night there and had pretty horrible dreams.”
“I’m not surprised.” I looked at the clock again and did the math. “I’ve been asleep for… fifteen hours?”
“Projecting yourself can wipe you out until you master it,” says Fuzzball. “But what you did… sending yourself out physically… well, it’s never been done. Ever. By anyone.”
“So you guys know everything that happened?”
“Roxanne and Ryan filled us in,” says Mom. “Sebastien confirmed it.”
“Sebastien… how?”
“The Summit monitors things, remember?” she says.
I turn to Fuzzball. “How is this possible?”
He shakes his head. “No idea. But it might help if you tell me exactly what happened after you got to the hospital.”
I nod as the memories begin to coalesce. “Well, it was about an hour after we got there. I was really upset about what my father did to Ryan. Anyway, I was getting hungry, so I ate a candy bar and got a little chocolate on my face, and that’s an important point. I was feeling really tired so I laid my head on Roxanne’s shoulder and closed my eyes. I wasn’t trying to take a nap.”
“What were you thinking about?” asks Fuzzball. “And be very specific.”
“I was replaying what had happened. And then I remember wishing I could trade places with Ryan and be with him in the emergency room. I was thinking I wanted to be there holding his hand and taking his pain away, and I saw myself doing it. Then someone’s cell rang and I jumped. Roxanne said I’d actually fallen asleep. But it didn’t feel like sleep. It was like a very lucid daydream. And as it turned out, that’s the exact time the doctor said I was in Ryan’s room. Anyway, before we went to see Ryan, Rox wiped the chocolate off my cheek, so it wasn’t there when we went to his room. We didn’t believe Ryan at first, but then he remembered me with chocolate on my face, and I only had it when we were in the waiting room. So that confirmed it.”
“Ryan said you took his pain away,” says Mom. “Do you remember doing that?”
I shake my head. “No, I remember wishing I could do that. I guess my wish manifested itself.”
“So what do you think, Detective?” asks Mom.
“I think,” he says, looking at me like I’m some sort of rock star, “that your daughter can somehow physically be in two places at once. And if that’s not enough, there’s a possibility that she can heal people.”
***
Though the lecture from Mom about our Connecticut trip hasn’t come yet, I feel it lurking in the shadows, waiting to strike. But I know the last thing she wants to do is pile it on, as I’ve got enough stuff going on in my head. She’s been waiting on me all day since I'm still physically and emotionally wiped out from everything that happened in the last twenty-four hours or so. She’s insisting I stay in bed, going so far as to serve me dinner in my room.
The doorbell rings just as I savor the last bite of my dessert, raspberry cheesecake. I hear Mom’s footsteps, the door opening and then her voice. “Ryan, I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.”
He’s here.
If this were any other teenage relationship I’d die before letting him see me like this, in my Mets shirt and sweats with eggbeater hair. But right now I’d die if I don’t see him. I throw back the covers, hop out of bed and bound down the stairs, suddenly getting an infusion of energy just knowing he’s here.
He looks up, sees me coming down the stairs and waits at the landing. I reach the top step and he wraps his arms around my waist and effortlessly lifts me into a tight hug while my arms snake around his neck. I rest my head on one broad shoulder. I see my Mom smiling at this Kodak moment as Ryan holds me in the air, saying nothing. Finally he puts me down and looks into my eyes. “Is it you or your dopplegänger?”
“It’s the real me. I think.”
“Are you okay, Sparks?”
“Me? What about you? You’re the one who was in the hospital.”
“Physically, I’m okay. But it’s gonna take a while to erase that memory from my head.”
“Have you had dinner, Ryan?” asks Mom.
“No, I came right here from The Summit.”
“Well, let me fix you something to eat.” Mom shoots me a wink that says, “See, I told you he was in love with you and just didn’t know it.”
I take his hand and lead him to the couch as Mom heads to the kitchen. We both sit and face each other as I take his other hand. “So what’s the deal with my father’s thoughts?” I ask. “What did Sebastien say?”
Ryan cringes a bit.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t stir it up.”
He shrugs. “It’s okay. Maybe talking about it will help me deal with it. They put me under hypnosis at The Summit and had me go into detail about what I saw. Basically they were scenes that were… well, imagine the goriest, scariest horror movie you’ve ever seen, times ten. Sebastien thinks they were images of Hell, and that your father sent them to me to scare me out of ever reading his mind again. And I have to say if that was his intention, it worked.”
I bite my lip as I reach up and stroke his hair. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.”
“I figured it might be the only opportunity to find out how he really felt about you.”
“I don’t think he’s capable of feeling anything for me. Besides, I really don’t think I want a relationship with him after what he did to you.” I feel my eyes well up a bit. “I could have lost you, Ryan.”
“Nah, you brought me back with your special powers. How did you do that, anyway?”
I shrug and shake my head. “No clue. Fuzzball was here this morning telling me about how he astrally projects, but he doesn’t interact with anyone and no one can see his spirit. Apparently when I fell asleep and had this incredibly lucid dream I was actually with you.”
“That is a seriously cool power, Sparks. You can stay home and send your double to school.”
Hmmm. Hadn’t thought of that. “Meanwhile, I may have some sort of healing power. You said you felt different when I took your hand.”
He nods. “It was like getting an injection of energy. I was feeling weak and when you touched me I could almost feel… I guess the best way to put it is that your life force came into me somehow.”
“Maybe that’s what knocked me out for fifteen hours.”
“Yeah, you were dead to the world when we hit the road.”
“I, uh, heard you provide car-to-bed delivery service.”
Now it’s his turn to blush a bit.
***
I wake up Wednesday morning a half hour earlier than my usual time and feel terrific, so it’s back to school. Luckily students can check on stuff you missed online, so I did my homework assignments last night on my laptop, despite the temptation to try projecting my alter ego into Ryan’s bedroom.
For whatever reason I have a ton of energy, so I make waffles, which are Mom’s favorite. (Okay, they’re frozen waffles and I put them in the toaster.) I fix my hair and put on a gorgeous royal blue top from Roxanne’s collection to brighten my outlook. I’m the first to arrive in homeroom and I’m high on life through my first four classes.
Today’s luncheon entree is known as “rest of lamb” by the students. The theory being that once the butcher has removed the leg of lamb and rack of lamb, the school system gets the rest. This dish is without a doubt Roxanne’s least favorite, which she emphasizes by dropping her tray on the table and following it with a “baaaaaaa” in a tone that sounds like a seriously pissed off sheep.
“Yeah,” I say, pushing the concoction around my plate. “Another one of Little Bo Peep’s nightmares. I think there’s actually some wool in this recipe.”
“Stop, I can barely look at it much less eat it.” She pokes at a very wrinkled b
aked potato that somehow reminds me of Alan Greenspan. “So, have you decided if you’re going to name your alternate universe self? Are you going to be Jillian one and Jillian one-A?”
“Right now I’m trying to figure out what would happen if I were the dopplegänger and tried to eat this. Would it send the real me into a coma?”
“Hey, it’s a nice problem to have. This two-places-at-once thing has infinite possibilities. Imagine what you could do to Ryan and not have to worry about… you know… consequences.”
The thought makes me lick my lips. “Would I have to go to confession for that?”
“You wouldn’t. Just send your clone. But think about it. You can literally be his dream girl.” She takes a bite of the potato and washes it down with some milk. “So, you recovered from everything on Monday?”
“Physically, I feel great. Which is not surprising considering how much I’ve slept the past two days. Emotionally… I mean, the whole thing with my father was very upsetting and then Ryan ending up in the emergency room… too much at once. I keep wishing we hadn’t made the trip.”
“Hey, you had to take a shot. You would have gone your whole life wondering if the guy cared about you. Now at least you know and you can move on. But anyway, are you—”
My cell phone interrupts her as it gives a half-hearted ring that then turns into a strange series of chirps. We both jump, since there’s a serious rule against turning on cell phones in school. If you’re caught they confiscate your phone and your parents have to come to the school to get it back, and no teenager wants that.
Besides, I always, always, always turn off my phone when get to school. I remember doing it this morning.
“Jeez, turn that off!” says Roxanne.
“I thought it was off. And what the hell happened to my Bewitched ring tone?” I grab it out of my purse as I look around for any faculty members. Luckily there are none. I look at the phone and the screen is flickering with flashes of images that make no sense. “What the hell?”
Then, just as I’m about to turn it off, my father’s face fills the screen.
