by Amy Robyn
I walk to my car and climb inside on auto pilot. I feel as though I am cheating on Step and Trevor by even thinking of dating. I know it’s crazy but that’s how it feels. I hope that someday it will get easier. I know that I need to move on, doing and knowing are two different things. I am hoping someday I will only think of them with fond memories and not feel their loss so acutely.
I pull out of the parking lot and start the trek home. It isn’t very far thankfully because my mind isn’t on the road as it should be. I do not notice the strange car in the driveway until I am close to it. I pull in behind my Grandmother because my normal spot is now taken. It is probably a lady from my Grandmother’s church. They stop by periodically to say hi. I do not know why they do. My grandmother quit going many years ago, when my mother died.
I sigh as I put the car in park and step out. I grab my bag before I head to the door. It opens before I can get there and out steps, Step. The bag falls from my arm and papers scatter as I stare up at one of the men who will never leave my mind. He gets down and starts picking up my papers as Trevor steps out of the door. My heart starts racing and I seem to be frozen, unable to move an inch.
Did they read my mind that I was planning to move on? It seems strange that I was thinking about them so much today and it is the day they come back. Maybe I am dreaming. I pinch my arm and wince at the pain. Okay, I’m not dreaming.
“Sammy.” Trevor says as he takes a step toward me. I can’t seem to move. I want to run into his arms and yet I want to run screaming. Why is my body not working? It’s like it has its own mind. Trevor grabs my hands and now it’s too late to run. Step is behind me now. He pulls me back against him and fists his hand in my hair. He kisses my lips softly and then turns my head toward Trevor.
“Kiss Trevor and say hello.” He tells me and I follow his orders as though I had been doing so for years. I press my lips to Trevor’s and he groans, vibrating his pleasure against my parted mouth. His tongue pushes between my lips and our tongues touch and dance together. My head is pulled back, causing me to break the kiss.
“My turn.” Step says gruffly before taking his kiss. He slams his lips down on mine and forces my mouth open. He thrusts his tongue between my lips. I moan as our tongues tangle together. He is in control of the kiss and even the movement of my head. He is dominating and controlling. My body responds to his forceful ways. My breast tingle and a throbbing starts between my legs.
Their kisses are so different yet both familiar and comforting, while still extremely arousing. It’s like coming home after being away for a long time. I want to revel in the feeling they are eliciting inside of me but in equal parts I want to run and protect myself. The protection is what finally breaks the spell and has me running away from them. I open the door and run up to my room. I slam my door before collapsing on my bed. My heart is racing and I can still taste them both.
What have I done?
Chapter 6. Trevor
My cock is hard and I am still breathing heavily. I lick my lips and I can still taste her. That was one hell of a kiss. It has gotten even better over the years. I didn’t know that was even possible. The one kiss we had two years ago is what kept me going. It is what made it impossible to move on. I couldn’t even imagine trying to be with anyone else. She was all I could see.
I would close my eyes at night and remember as I would stroke myself to completion. The way she felt and tasted was nothing to how she is now. Now, I need her more than ever. I groan as I run my hand over my face. I look over at Step and see him still staring at the door she disappeared behind. He looks pissed.
“What is it man?” I ask him.
“I came on too strong. Why do I always feel like pushing her?” He shakes his head and looks at me with a look of utter devastation on his face. He looks defeated and I do not like that look on him at all.
“You did nothing wrong. I could tell she responds to you being dominating.” It’s true too. I bet if I could put my hand down her pants now, she would be drenched in desire. Fuck, just thinking about having my hand down her pants has pre-cum dribbling from the tip of my cock. I have wanted her for so long and would always get hard at the thought of her but this is different. Now, she is within my reach.
I take a deep breath to try and calm my body and emotions. I have to get my bearings back after a kiss like that. The woman kissed all my brain cells out of my head.
“Are you sure it wasn’t me that scared her. I don’t know what came over me.” I know exactly what came over him. He has a need for control and who could blame him after the childhood he had. He had no control over how his old man treated him. He would seem fine one minute and the next he would be beating the shit out of him. Grandma once said that she believed he had a mental illness on top of his alcoholism that made him even more violent.
Who knows what the cause was. I just know that when Step left home, so did his father and he was never heard from again. To Step he died. He thinks he went to Mexico and drank himself to death. Frankly the world is better off without Michael Moore. He wasn’t a good man and he will never be missed. I know that Step thought he was the one who messed up because he preferred his fists to being ignored, but I can understand why.
My parents didn’t give a shit that I existed. They had plenty of money to give someone else to raise me. The one woman who treated me like a human was taken from me because my dad took a liking to her too. My parents were forced to marry because of me and therefore they wanted nothing to do with me or each other. The only time they talked to each other was to yell. They hated each other at least more than they hated me.
I look over at my childhood home and grimace. I would have sold the fucking place if it hadn’t been for Sammy. I need to have the place where I have known her best. A place to come home to that is close to her. She is the one pure thing in my life and I cling to even the memory of her. She is my sunshine in my gloomy, cloudy world. She is the one thing my parents couldn’t take away from me. They took everything else away. If I showed I cared about it, it would be gone.
I think that they probably tried to figure out a way to get her and Step to go away but they were unsuccessful. I have never been glad for anything more than that. I wouldn’t know what to do without those two. Would I have survived?
“Come on, let’s go unpack and get cleaned up for dinner. I am sure she will have calmed down by then.” I pat his arm as I go over and climb into the car. It is easier to park in the garage and carry our stuff in from there. The house is close but houses out here are not as close as they are in the city. Sure I can see it from here but it is still a half a mile walk. Step could probably do it while carrying his bags but I am not in the same shape.
Step still looks like someone ran over his puppy as he climbs into the car next to me. He keeps shaking his head and running his hands through the short spikes on top of his head.
“You opened the door for a discussion we are going to have with her. You also proved that you can share her without beating the crap out of me.” I laugh even as I flinch with the remembered pain of the punch he laid on me after he found us kissing. I curl my nose as I remember having to have my nose set and bandaged. The maid who had driven me to the hospital was scowling as I howled in pain. I am almost positive my dad was fucking her too.
When I first heard the news that my dad killed my mother before killing himself, I thought it wasn’t possible. I do believe it is now that I know all that happened. Apparently, my mother was not honest with dear old dad from the beginning. It turns out that I was never his. She ruined both of their lives so that she would have his money. Dad was going to marry a woman he loved, until a drunken night at a frat party changed all that.
My real father is a boy who had no money but was a very good looking guy. She had been sleeping with him like a couple of rabbits up until the wedding to my dad. She would have continued with the boy if he hadn’t found out and broke things off. I do not think my mother had true feelings for him because I do not t
hink she was capable of such.
I feel sorry for my dad. He may not have been much of a father and he wasn’t of any blood relation but he was the only father I knew. What she did to him was so completely fucked up. It is one of the reasons I didn’t sleep with any of the women who threw themselves at me. I could have, easily. I couldn’t take the chance. I will only ever sleep with the woman I love. It is the reason I wouldn’t go to any of the frat parties too. I only ever drank in my room with the few friends I had made.
“You’re right. I hope it has made things easier.” He says as I park the car in the garage. I look over at him and he blushes which isn’t a normal occurrence for him.
“I have to admit that watching you two kiss was a huge fucking turn on. I think it will be a lot easier than I originally thought it would.” He looks away and I laugh softly.
“It was for me too. You had her so turned on when you were being commanding that it turned me on too.” I am not ashamed to admit it. The time I caught the two of them kissing by the stream had been so hot. I was upset that I wasn’t there with them but my cock had been like granite. I had to walk away or embarrass myself. I didn’t understand it at the time but I certainly do now.
Step smiles over at me as though he is reading my mind. I laugh as I climb out and open the trunk. We grab our luggage and I open the door to the house I never liked. Most people would kill for such a home but I was raised in luxury and I understand better than anyone that it doesn’t mean shit without love. I had fine clothes and plenty of food. I didn’t have love and happiness. Not in this house anyway.
My happiest memories are with Step and Sammy and most took place at Grandma’s house. This wasn’t a home. It was where I was raised but never a home. Home is where your heart is, so my home is currently in Grandma’s house and has been there since I met Sammy. Who knew that you could meet your one true love as a child? At first I thought I was losing my mind and it took me a while to realize I had lost my heart instead.
I didn’t always know that I would be sharing her with Step, though I probably should have. I knew that Step would always be a part of our lives but it took time to see that it could only be one way. We were in love with the same girl and it became more apparent that time nor space could change that, especially after what just happened. That had to have been the hottest thing to happen to me. Even more so than the internet porn I had seen.
I am no stranger to porn and the three way pornos with two men and one woman, particularly turned me on. Three guesses why. At first I watched for what I told myself was research purposes but later it was to get off. I didn’t date like Step did. I didn’t think there was a point. I want only one woman. I also didn’t want what happened to dad to happen to me.
Oh I had women chase me and I had to fight them at every turn. I even had one climb in bed with me and she nearly got me before I realized what was happening. I was dreaming about Sammy of course and I was hard as hell. I could feel a hand on my dick and it was too real to be a dream and woke up. Thankfully I did at that exact moment. There was a woman straddling me and holding me poised at her entrance. I shoved her off of me but if I had woken a minute later it would have been too late.
I think she wanted to trap me because she was failing school. It would have been a big payout for her. You can never be too careful when you have money. My dad can attest to that. I found out that she got in by my roommate. I kicked him out and changed the locks. That’s what I get for helping out a friend in need. I wonder if she offered him money. I will probably never know.
I had another time that I left my window open because it was a hot night. This girl accidently knocked over a plant as she climbed through the window or she might have been more successful. I swear they could win an award for the stupidest fumbles in trapping a man. Step would say it is my looks but I never thought so. All anyone sees is money, except Sammy and Step.
“You take the master bedroom until we can talk Sammy in to sharing it with us. The bed is way bigger than any of the spare rooms.” I tell him. Step is a big man. I know that he needs a lot more leg room than I do. I am six foot and he dwarfs me. He used to be too big for his body and looked gangly, unproportioned. Now, he is a very good looking guy. I wonder if he knows that. He always had self-esteem issues. I am sure any would with a father like his.
I unpack quickly and hop in the shower, just as I hear the other shower turn on. I quickly scrub myself clean. I thought about taking myself in hand but I want to hurry back to her. I have been away from her for long enough already. Two fucking years was long enough. There were days that I thought about jumping in my car and driving back home just on the chance of catching a glimpse of her.
I hurry and dress. I come out of my room to find Step standing eagerly in the hallway. He wants to get back to her immediately too. I can understand how he feels. I feel anxious and nervous at the same time. I only hope that she doesn’t use the time leading up the Christmas hiding from us.
Chapter 7. Step
I have to admit, I will be far more comfortable at Trevor’s house. Though, I would love knowing that I am in the same house as her. Just being able to breathe in her scent whenever I walk past her room. In time I will have that smell on my pillow. I have to or I risk losing my mind. Trevor would say I haven’t had one in years. He could be right. I have never been able to think straight in her presence.
We decide to walk to her house which brings back old memories. I used to walk this daily, sometimes multiple times. It was always so bittersweet. I had to deal with my dad daily but I had the world’s best friends. I could count on them to cheer me up and make everything seem worth it, especially her. I could handle anything my father threw at me with them in my corner.
“When we are alone with her again, I think I should do the talking. I don’t mind you leading when we are intimate but I think we both can agree that I am best at communicating.” Trevor says. I nod my head. There is no denying that. I am the action guy and Trevor is a negotiator. A very talented negotiator. I would be stupid if I didn’t let him do the talking. My father didn’t teach me how to communicate well, unless you consider his fist against my flesh communicating.
“Yeah man, I won’t say a word.” I grip his shoulder for a moment to let him know that I am serious. He gives me a smile and we continue walking. I wonder, not for the first time, if he knows how much his friendship has meant to me over the years? I’m not sure I would be alive today if he hadn’t come into my life. I probably would have starved to death or started stealing to survive. Either way wouldn’t have ended well for me.
We arrive at Grandma’s house and Sammy never makes an appearance. I know she is home because I can feel her but she has locked herself in her room like she did the last time I tried to get her to talk to me. Trevor looks devastated and I am getting pissed. Hiding from your problems is never the solution.
“Give her time. She will come around.” Grandma says though she doesn’t look convinced of her theory.
“No, she has had the last two years.” I stand from the kitchen table where Grandma had prepared a wonderful meal. I still ate as much as I could, though more out of habit than anything else. Trevor barely touched his food. I walk over and kiss Grandma on the cheek.
“This calls for drastic measures. I am going to break into her room and take her to Trevor’s house, so we can talk. You know neither of us will ever hurt her.” I tell her as I stand next to her. She looks up at me and gives me a radiant smile.
“I know dear. I hope things work out well. I want to know that she is taken care of after I am gone.” She looks away sadly and my heart breaks at how vulnerable she sounds. They are the only family either of them have left.
“No matter what, she has us in her life. She can’t push us away.” Trevor says as he stands up and walks over to Grandma. He kisses her cheek as I gather the dishes and start washing them. He joins me and we work side by side.
When the dishes are done, we find Grandma asleep in her chair. I c
over her with her throw and kiss her forehead before heading upstairs. I have a hard headed woman to get. I notice that Trevor is following me. I reach her door and pull out the bobby pin I stuck in my pocket earlier. Yes, I have been planning this all evening. I pull it apart before slide it in the hole and push it between the tumblers, until I hear the audible click. I pull it out and quickly tuck it back into my pocket.
I open the door to find Sammy lying on the bed sound asleep with a book open and laying across her chest. I pick up the book and close it before sitting it aside. I notice it is one of those romance books with a half-naked guy on the cover. I smile. She will get her romance and then some. I lift her up into the cradle of my arms and her arms reflexively go around my neck. She nuzzles my chest for a moment before she realizes that she isn’t dreaming.
“What the hell. How did you get in here?” She asks still a little groggily. I throw her over my shoulder and take the stairs two at a time. I open the front door and Trevor shuts it behind us. She beats on my back and yells obscenities at me. I ignore her as I start to jog. I have been trained to run with a lot of weight and hers is slight in comparison. I wish it didn’t have to come to this but the woman is the definition of stubborn.
“I’ll walk you Neanderthal.” She screams and then stills. I stop and look over at Trevor. He shrugs his shoulders as I sit her down.
“If you run, I will chase you and I know I am faster.” I glare down at her until she sighs and her shoulders slump in defeat. I do not like seeing it, though at least I know she won’t be running. I let out a breath and see Trevor do the same. He likes this about as much as I do. It’s a necessary evil.
“Don’t act like you’re going to a funeral. Is talking with us that fucking bad?” Trevor snaps at her. She finally looks up at him and then at me and I see her lip start to quiver. She has never liked upsetting one of us and I see time hasn’t changed that. It gives me hope that I didn’t have before. I take her hand and Trevor takes her other and we walk the rest of the way side by side.
