by Shales, Mia
"You like the painting?” His voice was close to her ear as he hugged her from behind, his bare chest pressing her back.
"Yes. It's easy to respond to the serenity of this family portrait."
Daniel could hear the anguish in her voice. He slowly released her and she turned until she faced him, her hand still holding up the sheet.
Her hair was unruly, her eyes like green dewdrops. "They could have been us!"
"Why didn't you wait for me? I told you I would come back." His voice was low but commanding.
"Wait for you?" she said bitterly. "Wait for what? For what kind of life? I'm a big girl now, Daniel. I've grown up. I know you wouldn't have been content with one woman and with the kind of close and tight-knit family life I crave. You'll always seek stimulation and thrills. You'd never have stayed faithful. Our child would have seen you once every few weeks or months and when he grew up…" her voice wavered a minute, "I didn't want him to feel betrayed by his father as I did. I wanted a healthy and happy child with parents like everybody else."
"You're mistaken," his voice was cutting and his eyes metallic. She knew he was angry but she was conscious of something else in his eyes.
He looked almost as if he was offended.
"You provide me with all the excitement and gratification I need. You exhilarate me. You fascinate me. I'm drawn to you as to no other woman I've ever met. I don't need other women. I don't know what you think you saw in New York. I swear that until I heard you were married I was with no other woman. Anyway, no other woman meant anything to me. They just filled the void you left. When I heard you were married I nearly went out of my mind. I can't count the women I've had since but I never felt anything but emptiness with them. You're the only one I ever wanted. And the only one I couldn't have!"
"Why did you slink away?" she insisted on knowing. "Why didn't you take me with you?"
"How could I take you with me? I was penniless and homeless, with an uncertain future in a cruel and competitive world. I knew I was talented, but the earth is filled with talented people and only one in a million is a success. My plan was to return to New York, find work, and then when I'd earn some money, to bring you over."
"Why didn't you discuss any of this with me? You never said a word."
He left her side and stood staring out the window. A mischievous ray of light danced across his face, blinding him. His finely chiseled features were hard and cold when he spoke again. "That's just what I intended to do. I went to the bungalow and when I couldn't find you there I walked up to your parents' house. I knew you wouldn't be pleased because you shut yourself in like a snail whenever I asked you anything about your parents and because you never invited me into the house, always meeting me in the studio or other places. As I neared the entrance I heard screams and hesitated. I thought I might be interrupting a fight between your parents. The voices moved closer and I hid behind some bushes. The front door opened and I saw you flung out on the stairs. My first instinct was to attack your father who appeared, drunk and cursing in the doorway, but then you spoke and by the faint light I could see the bleeding on your lip."
Nicole felt the blood drain from her face and a cold sweat cover her forehead. The memories brought on the old nausea that crawled from her stomach to her throat. She remembered the occasion so clearly because it was the next day she discovered Daniel's curt letter announcing his departure. She could see her father's distorted face and smell the alcohol on him.
* * *
He returned home, bursting into the kitchen where she and her mother were busy preparing supper. He pushed aside her mother who cringed in the corner and grabbed Nicole by the hair throwing her backwards until she fell on the table, breaking the plates piled up at the edge.
"Filthy whore," he yelled, "I'll kill you."
Nicole steadied herself, her hands defending her face. "What do you want?" she asked scornfully. "You're drunk," she said in disgust.
"Shut up," he barked.
Still shaking with fear, her mother tried to intervene. "Leave the child," she whispered.
"You stay out of it," he ordered, "or I'll take care of you as well." His bloodshot eyes swiveled again to Nicole. "The whole town is talking about you, sleeping with some fucked up loser," he shouted.
She curled her hands into tight fists, trying to control herself. "It's none of your business," she retorted, "I'm past the age when you can tell me what to do. I'll sleep with whomever I please." She saw the two veins on his forehead swell alarmingly, threatening to burst. His heavy palm landed on her face, tearing the skin. She felt the blood oozing down from her upper lip into her mouth. He picked her up from the floor and began dragging her along the hallway to the entrance. He opened the door and threw her down the stairs. "Get out of here. Go back to that riffraff you've been hanging out with these past months."
She tried to get up and felt a sharp stab of pain in her hand. She crawled to the steps and with a supreme effort managed to rise unsteadily to her feet. She felt a red sheet was being waved before her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere. It's my house! Registered in my name! You're the guardian of my house only until I'm twenty-five. You think I'll go and let you kill my mother? Forget it, you stupid drunkard." Hatred removed all trace of refinement. "I'm staying here to watch over her. You can be sure of that. I'm not going anywhere. I won't let you steal the roof over our heads." He made a step in her direction and she spit blood that had gathered at her mouth on his shoes. "Another step and I'll call the police."
Daniel could see the courage and determination in her straight back and upraised face. Clearly, this was not the first time she had confronted her father. To his surprise, her father hung his head and his shoulders heaved as he cried noisily.
"Forgive me. I don't know what got into me. I'm only trying to do what's best for you."
Nicole stared at him coldly. "The only thing you're interested in is my money." She passed the sniveling figure and paused at the entrance. "You're a sick man. I'm warning you, I'll follow every move you make. If you so much as raise your hand against my mother I'll go straight to the police."
* * *
"When you disappeared into the house I heard him mutter, 'if only she'd leave I could get back everything that belongs to me'. He walked out of earshot to the other side of the house and I couldn't hear the rest of what he said. What I felt then was shame." Daniel sighed. "I was helpless. There were so many pieces missing but two things were clear to me. First, that you couldn't leave your mother and your house and go away with me to America, and second, that you had made an enormous effort to hide these things from me. I had to do something. To find a way to help you and your mother escape your father's malevolence."
"Why didn't you call?"
"I did, a few times but it was always your father who answered and I hung up. I did email once or twice and never got a reply."
"I was angry that you left me. I thought that if I didn't answer I'd be able to get you out of my head and move on. Childish, I know, but I was in such pain."
"I thought you were angry at me for leaving without saying goodby and I didn't blame you for that. The only problem was," he smiled mirthlessly, "that after a few months it was clear to me that I couldn't bear living without you. I meant to come back to you. I thought that if we got married I could find work in Australia. I was ready to abandon the success I was beginning to enjoy. I knew I would find a way. I phoned your parents', hoping you or your mother would pick up the phone but as always it was your father who answered. Although we'd never met he guessed who I was. He told me it was too late, that you had married the month before. He obviously relished telling me that your husband was one of the richest men in town. I went out of my mind with grief. I couldn't believe you would do this to me. I knew you loved me. Only me. But as your father made very clear, it was too late. I had let you go and now had to bear the consequences. In a frenzy, I began working day and night barely stopping to eat and drink. Just working. The rest you already know."
He moved closer and she felt a pang of excitement. She longed for him to gather her in his arms again but he hadn't finished what he had to say. "The irony was that within a year I was making more money than I had imagined possible in my wildest dreams. I could have bought all the houses in the world for you and your mother. You wouldn't have been dependent on him. But it was too late."
She let the sheet drop to the floor. "Let's not talk about it. We're together now and that's what's important." She placed her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. She took a deep breath of his male smell of soap and sea and brushed her lips against his.
"You're right," he murmured, "let's not talk."
It was past two when they got up. Daniel showered quickly and left the bathroom to her. When Nicole finished she remembered she had nothing to wear. "Whatever crossed your mind when you sent Marie with all those clothes?" she asked annoyed.
"What?" he exclaimed, surprised at this sudden attack.
"I'm ready to forgive all those women in your life, but how could you think I'd be ready to wear their clothes? What do you take me for?"
"What do I take you for?" he repeated, trying to grasp just what the problem was. When he understood he smiled. He strode to her and hugged her. She resisted and hit his chest with her fists trying to free herself from his grip.
"What do you take me for?" he mimicked her tone, "what do you take me for?" He pressed her against the wall and spread his arms on either side of her, imprisoning her between them. "Those are my sisters' clothes. They come here occasionally with their children and there's a room full of clothes that only the devil knows what they do with them all. I thought they wouldn't mind if you wore some of them. The clothes Marie chose are brand new."
Nicole was abashed.
He laughed and kissed her. "I wouldn't dream of giving you clothes that my ex-girlfriends left me as souvenirs."
She bent and slid from his embrace, inspected the clothes hanging over the armchair and chose a light yellow dress and open sandals that, amazingly, were a perfect fit.
As she prepared to wear them he said, "you can go barefoot."
He wore washed jeans and a blue shirt that matched his eyes. "Let's eat and I'll show you around the island."
They walked into the well-equipped kitchen and Marie handed Daniel a picnic basket. They crossed the lawn and walked to the beach. The white, fine sand was warm to the touch of their bare feet and the quiet waters reflected an endless array of blue and green hues. They wended their way until they came to a shady corner beneath a grove of coconut trees. Daniel spread a summer blanket and took a crisp bread Marie had baked out of the basket, followed by seafood, salads, cold cuts and French cheeses.
"Perfect," he said as he poured the chilled wine.
They devoured the delicious food as they chatted and laughed.
"Marie's apple pie is out of this world," a sated Nicole declared, as she lay supine on the blanket. Daniel pulled her up to a sitting position. "Come on, lazybones, I'll give you a tour of the island."
He took Nicole's hand in his and they walked, breathing the salt air until they reached rocky headlands built up of coral.
"This is called Samoa Point," Daniel explained, "named after the Polynesian missionaries who taught here in the late 1840's. During World War II this beautiful sandy beach was used as an American seaplane base."
"What is the name of that island?"
"That is Moso Island, known formerly as Deception or Verao Island."
They returned by a barely visible path which snaked through the inner part of the island. Walking through vine shrouded rain forests Nicole could see the huge Banyan trees and the coconut plantations with golden cattle browsing beneath the trees. They packed up the remains of the picnic and started for the house.
"Too bad we didn't have enough time to see Port Vila. Next time I'll take you there. You'll enjoy strolling about the colorful markets."
Nicole hoped there would be a next time. She still couldn't dismantle the defensive walls she had built up over the years, she was still on guard. She knew she loved him again. Perhaps she had never stopped loving him. She believed every word of his. Daniel had never lied to her. But there remained so many problems she wasn't sure they could solve. She still wasn't sure Daniel could get used to family life. He was a man roused by challenges and she feared that once he had what he wanted he would grow bored. She wasn't blind. Daniel was strikingly handsome and masculine and combined with his wealth and celebrity there were no doubt hordes of women ready to throw themselves at his feet. He himself admitted to having many women since he left her. Why should he be in love with her? Why would he choose her as his partner in their old age? She had grown up since those far off happy days when she believed in undying pure and perfect love. She couldn't deny the attraction and rare sexual compatibility between them but she still had misgivings concerning the quality of his feelings for her. He still considered her a challenge, something unattainable, a fantasy engraved in his memory from younger and more innocent days. Could this be transmuted into mature love? Would he stay by her side for better or worse, even during unavoidably ordinary, placid times every good marriage goes through? Despite his denials she couldn't help remember seeing him in the arms of that woman in New York before he heard she was married. Would he remain faithful even when his work took him far from her, when he would be surrounded by beautiful actresses who were attracted to him as the bees are to honey? She would have to discover the answers herself. She loved him too much to reject him outright at the threshold of what might be the renewal of their happiness together. But one thing was clear. She must be careful. She would not let him break her heart again.
"I'm sure I will," she finally responded.
"There you go again, with that troubled look. What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing. Really." She evaded his inquiring gaze and entered the house.
"There were some urgent messages," Joseph said after taking the empty basket.
"From whom?" Daniel asked without interest, still looking inquiringly at Nicole.
"Miss Stewart called several times and Mr. Stern requested that you answer immediately. I left his message in the study."
"Thanks, Joseph." Daniel addressed Nicole. "I'm sorry, but I have to leave you for a few minutes. I'll join you soon."
"No problem," she said and began walking away.
"Nicole!" She turned. "This is your house and you're free to do as you wish."
She smiled slowly. "You're a generous man, Daniel."
"Only with those I love." He disappeared, leaving her rooted to the spot. He was so complicated at times. She brushed aside the bothersome thoughts. She had no intention of brooding now over problems that might arise tomorrow.
"I don't understand what you're getting at, Diane." Daniel spoke into the receiver of the telephone in the study, his eyes following Nicole strolling with Marie in the garden. The two women paused and he saw Nicole smile at the older woman and nod from time to time.
"I want to be with you. Why didn't you invite me?" She spoke in that commanding, impatient and impolite tone that grated on his ears.
"The one time you were here you hated the quiet and lack of activity. You kept pestering me to return to New York, to the restaurants, the clubs and the parties you adore." He thought of his mistake, barely two months after their acquaintance, when he gave in to her entreaties and brought her to Vanuatu. She had been condescending to Joseph and Marie, ordering them around, listening to ear-piercing music and refusing to leave the house, explaining that her white complexion would be ruined in the sun. She was not tempted by a swim in the sea, complaining that he hadn't provided a pool. By the fifth day he had had enough and packed her off. He stayed on for another two weeks enjoying the beauty and simplicity of the secluded island and his affable neighbors. He had no easy task to appease Marie and it took a few days before she smiled at him again. Marie had no compunction in speaking her mind and telling him exactly what she tho
ught of his Miss Stewart.
"At least, you could have invited me."
"And why should I do that? You may have forgotten, but you're not yet my wife." Damn it. He had chosen the wrong words.
She laughed felinely, her voice changing completely. "True. Not yet."
"That's not what I meant to say, and you know it very well. Whatever there was between us ended a long time ago and you'll do yourself a favor if you accept that. You're just hurting yourself."
"Who is there with you?" she cut him off, suspicion causing her voice to change back to its original harsh tone.
He hesitated. He wished for nothing more than to keep Nicole to himself for a short, sweet time. The minute their liaison was known the media would not give them a minute's peace. They would hound her and burrow into her past. Her name and picture would be in the next edition of every paper and on all the internet gossip sites and her privacy would be rudely invaded. He hadn't spoken to her yet. He hadn't warned her. He recoiled at the idea of Diane handing out interviews, tarring him and his new 'lady friend'.
"A friend," he replied.
"What sort of friend?" she could not disguise her jealousy.
"Just a friend, that's all." He obviously succeeded in allaying her suspicion because she dropped the subject and ended the conversation with a long distance kiss.
Good God, the girl's skin was thicker than an elephant's.
Daniel made a few more calls and emailed Jack. He called James and instructed him to prepare the car and plane. He had to be in Australia early next morning for a fresh day's work. Another two weeks of filming and then he would be free to send Diane to the devil, appear openly with Nicole and make sure those leeches from the press wouldn't suck her blood.
