“I’m sure you weren’t that bad.”
“No, trust me. I was mean.”
“Well, why don’t you just apologize?” Andy suggested. “Wipe the slate clean.”
“I don’t know if I want to.”
“Why wouldn’t you want to?” Andy looked over at me in question.
I wasn’t sure if I should tell him or not. I mean Andy and I told each other everything. But, this was huge. Frankly, I wasn’t even sure what it meant yet.
“I just get really nervous around her, that’s all.”
“Nervous as in you think she’s crazy or nervous as in you get butterflies when you’re around her?”
“The latter,” I replied sheepishly.
“Well, what do you think that means?” he asked me.
“I don’t really know,” I sighed, starting the car.
“You know you can tell me anything, right Faith?”
Andy was giving me that supportive brother look. No matter what we were always there for each other. I didn’t know what I would do if I didn’t have Andy in my life.
“Yeah, I know.”
I just needed to figure out what there was to tell. It was probably nothing. I was just overthinking it.
Jason picked me up for our date on Friday night. We went to De Lorenzo’s to eat pizza before the movie. So far the date was actually going really well.
Maybe it was all just in my head. I did like boys. I could totally see myself with someone like Jason one day. It was just that I wasn’t ready to settle down yet. I was probably just afraid of commitment because of what happened with my parents.
“Hey, you okay?” Jason asked me as he opened the car door to let me out.
Crap. Maybe I should stop daydreaming and actually pay attention to Jason.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
I hopped out of Jason’s truck. He closed the door behind me and smiled as he put his arm over my shoulder.
“I missed this, Faith.”
I didn’t. “Me too,” I lied.
“So, what are we seeing?” he asked.
“There’s this movie about a zombie apocalypse that looks really good.”
“I’m kind of wishing you would have chosen a chick flick now.”
“Stop being such a baby,” I smiled.
When we got into the theater, Jason paid for both of our tickets and then we headed to the concession stand to get some popcorn and a soda.
My stomach dropped when I saw who was working the concession stand.
“Hey, Faith. What can I get for you?” Chandler smiled.
Chandler was dressed in a burgundy shirt and a pair of khaki’s. She had her hair up in a loose pony tail and a visor holding her hair out of her face. She looked really cute in her uniform.
“Hey, Chandler.”
“You two know each other?” Jason asked.
“Yeah, we have two classes together,” I answered Jason. “Jason this is Chandler. Chandler, Jason.”
“Good to meet you,” Jason smiled. “I think I’ve seen you around school.”
“Probably, but there’s so many students there it’s hard to keep track of everyone.”
“You got me there,” Jason smiled.
“So, what can I get for you guys?”
“We’ll just take a large popcorn and a large coke,” Jason replied.
“Coming right up!”
I watched as Chandler filled the bucket of popcorn and then turned to fill a cup with our soda. I looked away when she looked my way. God, I am so awkward.
“Okay, all set,” Chandler said as she returned to the counter. “That’ll be ten fifty.”
As Jason reached into his pocket for his wallet, I caught Chandler looking between Jason and me. Trying to figure us out. She probably thought he was my boyfriend.
Jason paid for the popcorn and soda.
“Enjoy the movie,” Chandler smiled.
“Thanks, you too,” I replied without thinking. Dumb response. “Sorry, I meant…”
“Yeah, I know what you meant,” Chandler smiled.
“You okay babe?” Jason asked.
Don’t call me babe. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s just go watch the movie.”
As we walked away I could feel her eyes on me. Maybe she thought about me too.
After the movie Jason drove me home. We talked on the way over. We were officially back together. Being with Jason was the right thing to do. I could never be gay. As much as I wanted to explore the feelings I was having, I just couldn’t. I could just imagine how my parents would react. My mom would probably go on a week-long binge. Maybe even longer. I couldn’t do that to my family.
Technically, my family was very religious. Even though both of my parents were major sinners, they still valued the church and all of their teachings. It was a little hypocritical if you asked me. Why was homosexuality so much worse than adultery and gluttony? I’m pretty sure drinking too much is considered gluttony. I wasn’t really sure. I never really paid much attention in religion class. Anyway, why should it matter who you love? I thought people were born gay. Can God really punish you for something you were born?
As soon as I walked in, Andy was headed for the door. I could hear mom shouting upstairs.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I asked him.
“Mom is yelling at grandma again. Dad’s coming to pick me up. You should come too, Faith.”
“No, I can’t.”
“Faith, I can’t be here right now. But, I don’t want to leave you alone.”
“I’ll be fine. If it gets really bad I’ll go spend the night at Riley’s.”
“Okay, text me throughout the night though. I love you sis.”
“I love you too,” I replied as we gave each other a kiss on the cheek.
“Hey, I almost forgot. How was your date?”
I hesitated for a moment. “It was good. Jason and I are back together.”
“Are you happy about that?” he asked seriously. He knew me so well.
“Yeah, of course.”
“Okay. So long as you’re happy. That’s all that matters to me.” He looked at me with this look like he was trying to tell me something. Trying to get some point across.
“Thanks,” I smiled awkwardly.
“See you tomorrow.”
“See you.”
Andy walked out of the front door as I climbed the staircase. Mom was just getting off of the phone.
As soon as she saw me her eyes grew wider.
“Where have you been?” mom asked.
“I had a date with Jason.”
“Did you ask me if you could go on a date with Jason?”
“Mom I told you about it before I left, remember?”
Mom looked down and then back up at me, anger clearly on her face. “Of course, I remember. Just be careful Faith. Men are only after one thing and once you aren’t providing enough of that one thing they’ll go behind your back to get it from someone else.”
Disgusting. She was talking about sex.
“I know, mom. I’ll be careful.”
“I need to sleep.”
“Okay. I think I’m going to go to bed too. Good night.”
“Night,” my mom replied shortly.
I hated when she got like this. It was like nothing else mattered but our dad. I’m pretty sure she was starting to resent us too because we were a part of him. It wasn’t our fault he cheated on her.
I crashed onto my bed as soon as I closed the door behind me. Tonight was good. Well, until I got home. Jason and I were back together.
Why did that make my stomach hurt? It wasn’t like with Chandler. Thinking about her made my stomach drop, but in a good way.
Part of me wished I was dating Chandler, not Jason.
Chapter 4
Mom was okay for the rest of the weekend. She even went to church on Sunday morning. She tried to drag me along with her, but luckily I was playing soccer with some of the girls from the team. I was trying to get in as much pract
ice as I could. I still needed a lot of work before I’d be back to where I was before the surgery.
Our first game was next weekend so I only had the rest of the week to get into my best form. To say I was nervous was putting it lightly. I just didn’t want the team to suffer because I wasn’t good enough anymore. I guess we would see on Saturday.
When I got to chemistry on Monday, Anthony must have been out sick because he wasn’t there. He had to be really sick to have skipped school. Anthony would never miss school if he didn’t absolutely have to. Chandler was sitting where she usually sat, the lab station behind where Anthony and I sat. It sucked that we had an odd number of students in the class. It made it so that Chandler was the only person sitting by herself.
Maybe I could sit with her today. There was no sense in both of us sitting alone. If we had a lab today, the teacher would probably have us work together anyway.
Before I could talk myself out of it I slid into the seat next to Chandler. The look of surprise on her face was priceless.
“Hey,” I said as I took my binder out of my back pack.
“Hey,” Chandler smiled. “Did you mean to sit there?”
I looked at Chandler and smiled. “Of course I did. I didn’t sit here by accident. I figured since Anthony is out today, there’s no sense in us both sitting alone.”
“Good point.”
We both stayed quiet until Mr. Bernstein started class. “Okay, guys, I have a family emergency so a substitute is going to be coming in for the rest of the class. I’m going to have you guys read through chapter three and take guided notes. Now, I’m no fool, so I know you’re all probably going to spend the period talking to each other. But, as long as it’s read by tomorrow, I don’t care what you use the period for. We’ll discuss it in class tomorrow.”
Some students started reading the textbook and taking notes, while others made it obvious they had no intention of doing so. I looked over at Chandler and she was already reading her textbook. I grabbed my text book from my bag and opened it to chapter three.
“So, how was the rest of your date on Friday?” Chandler asked while still looking down at the book in front of her.
I tilted my head, awkwardly. “It was alright.”
“That doesn’t sound too convincing,” Chandler smiled, finally looking up and gazing into my eyes.
I smiled back, gazing into her eyes as I sighed. “Yeah, it doesn’t huh?”
“For what it’s worth, Jason seems really nice. He’s definitely hot.”
“Yeah, he is really nice. And hot of course, but I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like we just don’t click.”
“Why do you think that is?”
It was weird talking so openly with Chandler. I hadn’t even talked to Riley about this yet. I felt comfortable with Chandler for some reason. Like I knew I could trust her.
“I don’t have a clue,” I shrugged. “But, we’re back together now so…”
“Wait!” Chandler stopped me. “You’re back together with a guy you don’t really want to be with?”
“Well, yeah. I mean we dated before so we’re just giving it another shot. If it doesn’t work out it doesn’t work out. I do feel bad though. Jason’s a really nice guy. He deserves someone who wants to be with him.”
“Don’t forget, you also deserve to be happy. Your happiness is important too Faith.” She smiled at me reassuringly.
“Right. Yeah, I know.” But did I really? I had never done anything that made me happy, aside from soccer and theater. Even my choices in colleges were to make my parents happy, not me. “Boys can be so complicated.”
“They can be,” Chandler sighed. “That’s why I don’t date any.”
I looked at Chandler confused. What did she mean by that?
She must have sensed my confusion because she shook her head and clarified. “I just mean I don’t date boys in high school. I’m trying to focus on school. No boyfriends for me.”
“That’s a smart plan. I wish I was doing the same.”
“You can if you want to.” Chandler smiled at me suggestively.
My stomach was doing that thing again. It felt like it was doing flips inside of me. Yeah, I definitely had a crush on the girl. But I didn’t want to. I just wanted to be normal.
After class let out I went to my locker to put my stuff away before soccer practice.
“Faithy poo,” Andy said as he got to my locker. “How’s it going?”
“I told you never to call me that Andy.”
“Oh come on, it’s cute. Hey, did you see the bulletin board outside of the theater?”
“What about it?” I turned to face Andy.
“Auditions for the winter play are coming up.”
“And?” I kept a poker face on. I knew where he was going with this.
“And! Are you going to audition?”
“I don’t know if I’m going to have time.”
“Well, soccer will be done by the time the play performs. You should have the time.”
“There are still rehearsals leading up to the play. Plus, I have to focus on my grades.”
“You did the play and the musical last year and your grades were stellar, as usual. You love theater. You want to major in theater. Why wouldn’t you audition for the play?”
“Because I’m probably majoring in pre-law.”
Andy looked at me in shock. I had yet to tell him about my decision to major in pre-law. I knew he wouldn’t approve of me choosing a major based on what our parents thought. My parents didn’t think acting was a smart career choice. Maybe they were right.
“You’re joking right?”
“I don’t want to get into this right now, Andy.”
Andy sighed. “Fine, but we’ll talk about this later.”
“Fine.”
“Now, give me the car keys.”
“Why? We have soccer practice.”
“I’m not going. I have a date afterschool. Brenda!”
Brenda was the girl that my brother had been crushing on since freshman year. Apparently she was finally giving him a chance.
“How am I supposed to get home?”
“I texted mom. She’s going to pick you up.”
“Really Andy? You’re going to make me get a ride home with mom?”
“Come on sis. You know how long I’ve been trying to get Brenda to go out with me. She could be the one.”
“That’s what you said about Sarah.”
“This time I’m serious.”
I sighed. My brother and his girlfriends. It could get annoying sometimes. “Fine.” I handed Andy the car keys. “But, you owe me.”
“I’ll make it up to you. I promise!” Andy smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “We’ll talk about the play later.”
“I’m not auditioning for the play.”
“Yeah, you are.” Andy walked away before I could respond.
After soccer practice I went outside to wait for mom to pick me up. That was over a half hour ago now. I was hoping she wasn’t going to forget, but I had a feeling she would.
Mom could be so frustrating sometimes. It was like the things she did made you so angry, but then you would remember how she used to act and how she still acted sometimes and it made you feel bad for being angry. It’d be one thing if she was always horrible. But she wasn’t. Sometimes she could be the best mom in the world. And sometimes she could be the worse. It made me never want to take a drink in my life. I couldn’t believe how much alcohol could change a person.
I decided to just walk home. It’d take me a while, but I could use the extra miles anyway. It would sure be a lot of miles though.
Just as I was about to start walking home, Chandler came out of the side entrance of the school.
I can’t let her see me!
Mom forgetting to pick me up from school was completely humiliating. I couldn’t let her see me. I couldn’t.
“Faith?” Chandler called.
Crap. Too late.
“He
y, Chandler,” I smiled as I turned to face her. “Working in the library again?”
“Yeah, soccer practice?”
“Yeah, just got done. Headed home now.”
I tried to walk away as quickly as I could.
“You’re not driving?” Chandler asked.
“Um, no. My brother has the car. He had a date so he skipped practice today.”
“Ugh, boys.”
“Yeah, boys,” I shrugged. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Wait, you’re walking home?”
“Yeah, I need the extra miles.”
“How far do you live from here?”
“Just ten miles or so.” I tried to make it sound like no big deal.
“Are you insane? That’s not just extra miles Faith. That’ll take forever.”
“I’m a fast walker.”
“Why don’t I give you a ride home?”
I looked at her hopefully. Getting a ride from her would be a lot easier. Walking was going to take forever. But, I didn’t want to bother her. “I don’t want to impose. I can just walk.”
“Faith, you’re not imposing. I’m offering! Seriously, let me drive you home.”
I sighed and then smiled at her. “A ride would be great, thanks.”
“No problem.”
We walked over to her Jeep. After we loaded our stuff into the back seat, we both climbed in.
“This is a really nice car,” I smiled. “I like Jeeps.”
“I love Jeeps! I’ve wanted one since I was twelve.”
Chandler turned the car on and started heading towards the exit of the high school.
“Okay, so where do you live?”
“Hawthorne Court in Sunset Heights. It’s the development on Sunset Road.”
“You’re kidding!” She looked at me with a wide-eyed smile.
“Um, no,” I smiled back awkwardly.
“I live on Silver Lane in Sunset Heights.”
“No way! We’re literally only two minutes away from each other.” For some reason that made me excited. We lived so close to each other.
“So, did you actually plan on walking home today?”
“No, my mom was supposed to pick me up.” Why did I tell her that? I didn’t want her to know that my mom completely forgot about me. “I think she must have gotten out of work late or something.”
I Like That About Her Page 3
