by Debra Cowan
But if she went through with her plan, he wouldn’t be able to stand the sight of her. She had intended to kill Ian and leave, but now she didn’t want to go. She wanted to stay with Davis Lee. Because right or wrong, she could no longer deny that what she felt for him was something more than desire.
Chapter Thirteen
For the first time, Josie considered foregoing her plan to kill Ian McDougal. The emotions sweeping through her surprised her. And frustrated her. In the two years since the deaths of her loved ones, she had never questioned her plan for the McDougals. Never doubted her intentions for Ian, the sole survivor of the outlaw gang. Now, after less than two months in Whirlwind, she wasn’t sure if she could kill the man who had cold-bloodedly murdered her family and her fiancé.
She had no doubt she could pull the trigger. Her uncertainty stemmed from imagining the way Davis Lee Holt would look at her afterward. She’d known the man less than two months. How could she feel more for him than she did about getting justice for her family?
What kind of person was she that a kiss—okay, more than one—could make her forget justice for the people she loved? That she could put aside the vows she made to them for the chance to explore her feelings for Davis Lee? But if she stayed on her course, the tall, lanky sheriff would look at her with only contempt. He would certainly never kiss her again.
She hated having this secret—any secret—between them. She’d already gotten too close to him so she couldn’t undo that. The only thing she could do was keep as much distance between them as possible.
Except for the hour each evening spent on her shooting lessons, she stayed away from him whenever possible. Giving up her lessons wasn’t an option. Her skill was improving, but the circuit judge could be here in as little as two weeks and Josie was not ready if the outcome of the trial didn’t go as it should. Cora invited her to dinner with Davis Lee again, but Josie begged off. Being guarded with Davis Lee now was difficult. She liked him too much. She wanted him. His tender kiss in Abilene had turned her inside out. She couldn’t stop thinking about it, wanting more.
So for the next several days, when she and Davis Lee spent time together behind Catherine’s house, Josie clamped down hard on her emotions. She couldn’t be cold to him and didn’t want to be, but her heart broke a little more each time they were together. And every evening, she grew more torn about her plans for McDougal.
It didn’t help when she received a letter from William’s sister in that week’s mail. Josie had written to Rosemary and told her she was leaving Galveston for Whirlwind. She and the other woman had stayed in touch after William’s death, but Rosemary had never sent such awful news. Still unable to cope with William’s death, his mother had tried to kill herself. As a result, she was under constant sedation.
The news weighed on Josie, made her feel an even greater burden to make sure Ian McDougal paid for William’s murder as well as that of her parents. That responsibility, combined with the uncertainty Josie already felt regarding her plans for McDougal, and her developing feelings for Davis Lee had her ready to scream. She could get no peace.
On Saturday night after her shooting lesson, Davis Lee saw her back to the hotel then went to relieve Jake for dinner. Josie spent the rest of her evening putting the final touches on Catherine’s wedding gown. The task took three times longer than it should have because she kept looking out the window. For him.
She cut out the back and sleeves for Mrs. Eishen’s coat, her thoughts seething. When she was with him, nothing else seemed to matter. And when they were apart, she was painfully aware of what should matter. Doubt churned inside her. The walls of her room seemed to close in. She couldn’t separate one thought from another. The turmoil in her mind sent her downstairs and outside for some air.
It was well past ten o’clock. The full moon glowed angel-white in an inky sky and spread light over the town that had mostly closed down. The saloon at the other end of town was well lit and loud with piano music and voices. A lantern glowed inside the livery stable next door.
At first, she simply stood outside on the hotel’s landing and breathed in the chill air, wrapping her shawl tightly around her. But she couldn’t escape the guilt and disloyalty she felt to her family for wavering in her intent to kill McDougal. Couldn’t dodge the fact that the reason was her feelings for Davis Lee. She wished she could simply turn off the thoughts.
She stepped off the hotel’s landing and began walking toward the other end of town. As happened frequently on the weekend, plenty of visitors had come into Whirlwind, but so far she’d heard none of the ruckus that had been so prevalent last weekend. Silvery moonlight shone through the darkened window of the telegraph office. The Pearl Restaurant was also closed for the evening. A lamp shone inside the jail and as Josie passed, she saw Jake move in front of the window.
She wondered if Davis Lee had already started his nightly ritual of walking the town. He’d told her that every night he checked to make sure the merchants’ doors were locked, that there were no mischief-making kids or secret trysts in the livery’s loft.
The memory of his face when he told her about the woman he loved and how she had lied to him kept circling through her mind. Josie wouldn’t be able to bear Davis Lee looking at her with the cold implacable mask she’d seen the night he told her about the con woman in Rock River.
Her head ached. Frustration burned inside her, making her feel helpless and disloyal to her family, to William. And deceitful to Davis Lee.
Noise finally penetrated her turbulent thoughts and she found herself in front of Pete Carter’s saloon. Piano notes clanged above the sound of raucous laughter. The smell of liquor was strong enough to be noticed over that of the horses in the nearby livery stable. The place was crowded, the air laced with the odor of unwashed bodies. Lamps burned bright on the other side of the swinging doors.
She hadn’t realized she had gone so far from the hotel. The loud off-key singing of several men carried to her, the words to their lewd song unfamiliar. Though she wasn’t frightened, she angled back to the opposite side of the street.
A noise sounded behind her and she turned her head, placing the sound in the alley between the saloon and the livery. It came again. A moan? “Is someone there? Do you need help?”
“Yes.” The voice was male, slurred with either pain or drink.
Josie twisted around as a young man stumbled into the light. Under six feet tall and spare with ragged blond hair, he didn’t look as old as she was. Pale eyes glittered in the half-light. “Can you help me?”
She turned toward him, but stayed where she was. His white shirt and dark pants were grimy. He smelled like cattle. “Are you hurt?”
“Yeah. Why don’t you kiss it and make it better?”
Disgusted, she spun to leave. He moved quick, hard fingers biting into her right arm.
“Let go!” She jerked at his hold but he was stronger than he looked. His gaunt features were mean.
He dragged her toward him and Josie fought to pull away.
“You’re not as friendly as the other girls here.”
“Let me go right now!”
His grip like a trap, he dragged her into the alley.
“Stop it!” she yelled, shoving at him, her shawl falling to the ground.
He clamped his other hand on her left arm. “I just want to show you a good time. You’ll like it if you give me a chance.”
His breath was rotten with alcohol. She reached for her scalpel. He saw her movement and reached, too, grabbing her breast and squeezing.
Fury and fear exploded inside her. She whipped out her blade and slashed at his windpipe. He jerked his head away at the last instant. Blood welled from a cut on the underside of his jaw.
Even as she went for him again, he roared in outrage and backhanded her. She reeled, crashing against the saloon wall, her weapon flying out of her hand. She lunged and tried to run.
He grabbed at her skirts, snapped her back, ripping seams. Screaming, she stru
ggled against his hold, hoping someone in the saloon would hear her. Please hear me.
He seized her hair and yanked, wrenching her around to face him. She cried out, pushing at him. He slammed his fist into her jaw, sending her to her knees, her mind dazed.
Her cheek burned, her jaw throbbed. She scrambled away, but he caught her legs. His hands hard and clammy through her stockings, he twisted painfully until he flipped her onto her back.
His hand clamped over her mouth, muffling her scream. She writhed and kicked. The sharp heel of her boot stabbed into his thigh. She bit his hand. The resulting blow from his fist left her limp and dazed, staring up at the night sky.
He climbed on top of her, his hand once again crushing her mouth. He smelled dirty and sick and she tried to buck him off. He ripped at the collar of her green-sprigged calico, dislodging buttons and tearing the bodice over her left breast. Sharp pain stung her chest.
The feel of his hot breath against her skin sent her into a frenzy. She clawed at his face, trying to reach his eyes.
He threw one leg over hers and curled it tight around her ankles, imprisoning her while he rucked up her skirts. She boxed his ears. Bellowing, he recoiled slightly. When his hold slackened, Josie strained to escape, to free her legs.
Suddenly his weight was off her. She scrabbled across the dirt, trying to get to her feet and run. A tall, broad-shouldered man slammed her attacker against the wall of the saloon. In a patch of moonlight she saw Davis Lee’s face—hard as rock, his eyes cold enough, sharp enough, to kill in one vicious slice.
Josie sagged back against the wall. Her heart pounded painfully in her chest as her stunned mind tried to understand what she saw. Davis Lee’s fist smashed into the other man’s face again and again. Blood spurted from his nose; his head snapped back after each punch.
She huddled against the wall, her entire body quaking. Her jaw hurt, her cheek stung. Cold bored deep into her bones. Davis Lee shoved her attacker to the ground then knelt and did something she couldn’t see. Ragged sobs broke from her.
Davis Lee rushed to her, going to his knees and cupping her shoulders. “Josie, are you all right? Talk to me.”
She was crying so hard she couldn’t see him. His arms went around her and she collapsed against his solid chest. He was big and warm and safe. Reassured by the clean, male scent of him, she finally understood that he was asking her a question.
“Honey, are you all right?”
“I—I think so,” she sobbed. She told herself to stop crying, to let go of him or at least loosen her hold, but she couldn’t. “Get me away from here, please.”
Her voice was thick and foreign. Davis Lee held her tight, rocking her, murmuring soft words until her sobs abated.
He eased her back. “Look at me, honey. Let me see your face.”
She did, her limbs trembling and useless. His hands moved over her face carefully, skimming her aching cheekbone. He barely touched her jaw and she winced.
He cursed, his eyes turning savage, but there was only tenderness in his touch when he helped her stand. Soon, he would ask why she was out here. She couldn’t tell him that it was because thoughts of him, of them were driving her crazy.
He found her shawl, draped it around her shoulders, going stock-still when he got a look at her. “Your dress is ripped.” Fury vibrated the air between them. “Honey, did he—”
“No. You got here before he could.”
Davis Lee cupped her uninjured cheek, searched her eyes. “You can tell me if he did.”
“I would.”
He pulled her gently to him. “I’ll take you to Catherine.”
“No!” Panic and embarrassment flooded her.
“Cora then.”
“Only you. No one else.” She hugged him so hard she felt a button on his shirt dig into her cheek.
“Catherine should look at you,” he said cajolingly.
“I don’t want her to know. I don’t want anyone to know.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Josie.”
“Please.” She buried her face in his chest. “Please?”
“All right. It’s all right.” His big hands stroked her back. “Let me take you to your room, then I’ll—”
“Someone will see me. I don’t want anyone to see me like this.”
“How about my house? Will you go there?”
“Yes.” He bent to scoop her up and she said in a shaky voice, “I can walk.”
“I’ll feel better if I carry you.” Putting one arm beneath her legs, he lifted her easily. “I need to get you home. Then I can deal with this worthless piece of humanity.”
Fighting the picture of her on the ground with her skirts pushed up and that bastard on top of her, Davis Lee carried her down the alley. Behind the saloon, the newspaper office and finally Haskell’s.
She laid her head on his shoulder, her breath shuddering out. Rage twisted a vicious knot in his gut. What if he hadn’t heard her scream? What if he hadn’t gotten there in time to stop the guy from violating her?
“D-did you kill him?” He could hear her teeth chattering.
“Not yet.” His jaw clenched. He thought he still might.
Josie huddled into him, her entire body shaking. They reached his small house, lit only by the moon since he hadn’t been home yet tonight. He cleared the one step of his front porch and shouldered open the door, closing it with his foot once they were inside.
Aside from a few pine shavings courtesy of the whittling he’d done every night since taking her to Abilene, the house was clean. Built five years ago by the townspeople for Whirlwind’s sheriff, the place was more modern than what Davis Lee was used to. Now he was even more glad for the indoor pump and the bathing room at the back of the house.
This large room served as the center of the house. Through the shadows he could see the cupboard and sink on the wall straight ahead, the stove to his left, making the kitchen almost a separate room.
The fireplace along the left wall kept Davis Lee’s bedroom on the other side toasty during the winter. A second bedroom led off the right side of this room. Mixed with the lingering scent of wood smoke was a hint of shaving soap and kerosene. The air was cool.
With his foot, Davis Lee hooked a dining chair by its leg and dragged it over to the stove, setting Josie down carefully. But when he tried to step away, she clung to him.
“I’m lighting the lamp,” he said soothingly. “Then I’m going to start a fire and get you a blanket.”
Her eyes were huge with terror. “I don’t want you to leave.”
The alarm in her voice had him stroking her hair. “You’ll be able to see me the whole time.”
Finally she released him. He quickly lit the lamp on the dining table, then moved around her and past the stove to shove kindling into the fireplace. After starting a fire, he went through the door that led into his bedroom and returned with a quilt his ma had made.
He wrapped Josie up and crouched before her. “I’ve got to go back and take that guy to jail. Will you be okay for a few minutes?”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“I know, honey.” Leaving her alone for even a minute went against every protective instinct inside him. “But if you want what happened to be kept secret, I have to be the one to move the bastard or tell Jake to do it.”
“All right,” she whispered, her face ashen, tears streaking her cheeks.
He squeezed her shoulders. “Let me get Charlie or his wife—”
“No, just you.”
“I don’t like you being here alone.”
“I’ll be okay. Just hurry.”
He wasn’t worried about her attacker going anywhere because he’d used the man’s own rope belt to hog-tie him, but Davis Lee didn’t want the sonovabitch drawing any attention, either. He took an extra pistol from the mantel and laid it in her lap. “You use this if you need to.”
She nodded but didn’t touch the gun. He smoothed a hand over her dark hair, half of it loosened from her chigno
n. “Bar the door behind me. I’ll be right back.”
He waited until he heard her slide the long piece of wood into place then he raced to the alley and made sure his prisoner hadn’t moved. He hadn’t, so Davis Lee checked his breathing and made sure he was still alive. He was, which was slightly disappointing.
It was a wonder Davis Lee had heard Josie scream with all the racket coming from the saloon, especially since he’d been checking Jed Doyle’s gunsmith shop several doors away.
Concerned at being away from her a minute more than necessary, Davis Lee ran to the jail and told Jake to go fetch the guy in the alley then lock him up. Whatever questions the deputy wanted to ask would just have to wait. Davis Lee was back at his house in less than five minutes.
When Josie heard his voice, she opened the door so fast he figured she must’ve been standing there the whole time. She was huddled into the blanket, and when she saw him, sharp relief broke across her face.
“Is he in jail?”
“On his way.” He barred the door behind him and shrugged out of his coat.
She closed the distance between them and laid her head on his chest. His throat tightened.
Reaching behind him, he hung his coat on the peg next to the door. “Let’s go over here.”
He picked her up and walked to the chair she’d used before. Sinking down into it, he closed his eyes and inhaled her light scent, let it soak into him. She trembled in his arms and Davis Lee remained silent until the jagged edge of his fear subsided. “I found your scalpel. It’s in my coat pocket.”
“I cut him.”
“I know, honey.” He stroked her hair out of her face, careful to keep his touch easy. “That was good.”
Her lashes lay in dark velvet crescents on her cheeks; she was pale as milk. Her shawl was draped over the back of another chair and he caught sight of something green and white on the floor behind the table. Her dress.
Her gaze followed his. “I had to get it off.”
