“Is that not enough people to make you stay closer?” Sarah asked sadly.
“It would be, but I have to face reality. I think I need to carve out a life for myself, if that makes sense?” Milly responded.
“Not really,” Sarah admitted.
Milly laughed. “Sometimes it doesn’t make sense to me either, but it feels as if I’ve been dependent on others all my life and, since father died, that dependency hasn’t rested easy. It’s harder to accept help when you are reliant on your extended family. At least this way I will be employed and making my own way in the world.”
“We are all dependent on others, Milly. That wouldn’t have changed if you’d married; you know that. Surely you would want to share in the joys of being an aunt when your brothers settle?”
“I would, but I don’t want to become the maiden aunt who falls asleep at the side of the fire every evening constantly travelling around the country to stay with another unwilling relative. I don’t wish to become that burden. If that happened I’m sure I would become as bitter as mother is, even if hers is caused through some of her own actions.”
“Dreading family members staying might be the case in some families, but not in yours!”
“Not yet it isn’t, but what of my nieces and nephews? Will they welcome me into their homes? It isn’t fair to them or me. This way, I can earn my own money. I’m frugal, and one day I might return with enough to pay for a comfortable retirement. The pay is very good for this position, far more than any other that has been advertised.”
“Which makes me all the more suspicious!” Sarah harrumphed. “You could be walking into all the horrors of a gothic novel for all you know!”
“I’m meeting the lady in question in two weeks!” Milly laughed. “She is currently in England visiting family and will be travelling through Guildford and has suggested meeting me there. If we both like each other, I will continue with her on her journey.”
“I’m sure there would be positions equally as desirable in this country.”
“None that I’ve found so far and, with Mother being so keen to see me gone, this is a good opportunity all round.”
“I beg to differ! As your friend I cannot be happy that you are leaving and, although we’ll still write, it won’t be the same,” Sarah said, reaching over and squeezing Milly’s hand. “I’ll miss you; it’s been so good to see you again. I selfishly don’t want you to go quite yet.”
“And I will miss you,” Milly responded, touched that her friend was so sad to see her leave the locality. “I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t feel it was for the best.”
*
Milly walked slowly back to the Castle Street deep in thought. In some respects she was running away if she accepted the position, but she felt she had no choice. She was not overwhelmed by self-pity; she was positive the route she had taken was the ideal opportunity, in some ways putting her a little in control of her life and also widening her horizons. She determined to view it as an adventure. She had once complained to Lord Grinstead that she longed to travel, now was her chance.
She saw Mrs Connor walking towards her and groaned inwardly; why Mrs Connor felt the need to boast in Milly’s presence she had no idea. Whether it was done through pure malice or from insecurity, Milly would probably never find out.
“Miss Holland! How pleasant to meet you; I was just on my way to visit your charming little house,” Mrs Connor said, as always her smile never quite reaching her eyes. “I shall accompany you home.”
Milly let the comment pass that Mrs Connor had been walking in the opposite direction to Castle Street and had to change direction to accompany Milly. They walked in silence for a few moments before Mrs Connor started the conversation once more.
“It must be pleasant to visit your mother after such an amount of time. I do hope you weren’t avoiding us, Miss Holland!”
“Not in the slightest. My cousin needed a companion, and I was more than happy to oblige.” Milly’s tone was always a little wary around Mrs Connor.
“Things must seem to have stood still since you left us.”
“Not at all; marriages have taken place, children have been born. Lives continue as they do everywhere.”
“When do you think you will be leaving us once more? You seem to have been sending and receiving a large amount of correspondence.” Mrs Connor looked very keen to know the answer to her question.
“I receive a number of letters from my cousin. She is enjoying writing about the sights she is seeing on her wedding trip.”
“Oh, come Miss Holland! We are all friends here! Your cousin could not be such a prolific letter writer; I know on my own wedding trip I was too busy to write letters! You must tell me of what you intend!”
“If you don’t mind I will keep my plans to myself at the moment; I would rather make my mother aware of any changes in my circumstances myself before broadcasting them to the town,” Milly responded. One thing she did dislike about returning home was the fact that all her business was known. The postmistress was obviously keen to report the number of letters Milly had received.
Mrs Connor looked annoyed at Milly’s response, but as they had reached Milly’s home, she refrained from pressing further. As Milly moved to open the door, both ladies were aware of a carriage stopping beside them.
Milly turned, and her complexion flushed as she instantly recognised the coat of arms on the carriage door. The footman jumped down from the grand equipage, its shiny black body and four horses pulling it betraying the expensiveness of the barouche. The footman pulled the steps in place before opening the door and handing out the occupant of the carriage.
“Good afternoon, Miss Holland; it is a delight to see you looking so well on this fine day,” came the silky smooth voice of Lord Grinstead.
Henry looked in amusement at Milly’s flushed cheeks and shocked expression. He could not help himself, he enjoyed making a dramatic entrance, and he had achieved his aim with the reaction he was causing. He congratulated himself on looking his best; even if he was there for a specific purpose, it had not detracted from the fact that he had chosen his clothes that morning to enhance his colouring and figure; clothing that hugged his body, emphasising the muscles, always had the greatest impact.
Milly also looked well. He was loathe to admit how much he had missed seeing her, but for now any nonsensical thoughts were pushed to one side once he had admired her for a few moments. He was here to do the job of keeping her safe; he had convinced himself of that as the only reason he had travelled all this way and, as always, he was determined to do that job well.
“Lord Grinstead!” Milly responded, eventually her brain able to work once more and curtseying to Henry’s bow. “I didn’t expect to see you in Farnham.” She did not like the fact that Mrs Connor was seeing her surprise and confusion, but it could not be helped.
“I decided I needed a trip out of London and remembered I’d not visited this quaint little town for some time. I am staying at the Hog’s Back Inn for a few days.” Henry smiled at Milly. He was aware they were being watched with interest by the lady accompanying Milly and turned his attention on her. She was not as pleasing on the eye as Milly, her rouged cheeks and many curls giving her the appearance of an overly made-up doll in his eyes, but as always he turned on the Grinstead charm. “And who is this delightful creature accompanying you?”
Milly recollected herself. “This is Mrs Connor. Mrs Connor, please let me introduce the Earl of Grinstead to you. Mrs Connor lives in what was my parent’s home just on the outside of town, My Lord. You will have passed it on your journey in.”
Mrs Connor curtseyed deeply. “My Lord, it is a pleasure to welcome you to our humble town.”
“Thank you Mrs Connor, I’m delighted to be here.” For once Henry was speaking the truth. Panic and worry for Milly’s safety had driven him to venture here but, for the moment, he could put that to one side; she was here, safe and looking delightful.
“My Lord, we were ju
st about to enter and order some refreshments. Would you care to join us?” Milly asked, not sure whether her mother would be delighted at having a peer under her roof or cross that she would be obliged to use her finest tea.
“That would be very pleasant, if it isn’t too much trouble and would give me the opportunity to distribute the gifts I have brought with me,” Henry said, turning back to the footman who retrieved parcels out of the carriage.
Milly was surprised at his words but led the way into the house. She turned to see Henry bending slightly, removing his stovepipe before he attempted entry and smiled at the sight. He filled the doorway, and the hallway seemed smaller than usual with his bulk crammed into it.
The maid took their outer garments, and Milly led the way into the small drawing room. Mrs Holland was taken by surprise but her welcome was everything Milly hoped for. Before too long the small group was seated, enjoying tea and biscuits.
Henry put down his cup and saucer and reached for the parcels that had been placed next to him on the sofa. It amused him that Mrs Connor seemed more intrigued about their contents than the actual recipients of the presents.
“Mrs Holland, I hope you will accept these few items. Your daughter always spoke highly of you when we were in the same company in London and at your nephew’s home in Dorset, and I feel as if I already know you,” Henry said with a flourish.
Milly raised her eyebrows at him in amusement. She could not remember mentioning her mother, apart from when she explained about their change in accommodation, which had obviously given him much information.
Henry returned her look with one of mock innocence before handing Mrs Holland a large tea caddy, full of the finest green tea. This was then surpassed with the box of chocolates that he gave her, followed closely by a box of delights such as butter, sugar, biscuits and oranges that he explained he had obtained from his own orangery. The gifts were finished off by the giving of a fine silk shawl, which made Mrs Holland quite delighted with her guest.
Henry then turned to Milly. “Miss Holland, I couldn’t resist bringing this for you.” He handed Milly a heavy parcel, which when opened, contained books of blank paper, watercolour paints and pencils.
Milly flushed with pleasure. Paper was so expensive, she had resigned herself to drawing very little over the coming years; Charles had indulged her by keeping her supplied with paper while she stayed with him; he always explained it away by saying she had saved him a fortune by painting his portrait. Now though, she would have enough paper to draw to her heart’s content.
“Thank you, My Lord,” she whispered, genuinely touched. “You have been too kind.”
“Not at all. You have real talent; I didn’t want you getting lazy and not using it,” Henry responded softly. He had surprised himself at how much pleasure had flooded his body at the sight of her delight; anyone would have thought he had given her jewels.
“How long do you stay, My Lord?” Mrs Connor asked, having been quiet throughout the exchange of gifts, but fully aware of exactly what had been given; that information would be retold when she left the house.
“I’m not quite sure as yet. I’m waiting for some communication from a friend before I continue, so my plans are flexible at the moment,” Henry lied. He would stay until he was sure that Milly was safe; beyond that he had not considered.
“I hope you will be around to enjoy a little party we are having on Thursday,” Mrs Connor gushed. “It is only a small affair, but I believe the local families enjoy themselves at my home.”
“I would be delighted,” Henry responded, with a winning smile. “And if you are not already taken, I would like to secure the first two dances with you, Miss Holland.”
The look of disappointment on Mrs Connor’s face was almost comical, but Henry schooled his features, turning to Milly waiting for her response.
“I am not already engaged, My Lord.”
“Good, that is settled then! And I warn you ladies, I shall be looking to the married ladies for a dance or two; there’ll be no hiding with the chaperones from me!” Henry said, making Mrs Holland blush with his smile.
“As I’m the same age as Miss Holland, I’m not seen as quite beyond my dancing days just yet, My Lord,” Mrs Connor said, a trifle indignant. She stood, preparing to leave. “I shall see you all on the morrow, I am sure. Good day to you all.”
Mrs Holland walked Mrs Connor to the door, enjoying seeing the annoyance on the woman’s face at being considered an old married woman. Mrs Holland had been made to feel lowly since her folly had been made so public, and she was not about to let an opportunity pass by for feeling at least on an equal footing with Mrs Connor.
“My Lord, that was a wicked thing to do!” Milly whispered, but her voice held a laugh.
“I couldn’t resist,” Henry responded. “Sometimes people should really be aware of their every expression; they give so much away, and it seems a shame not to enjoy their foolishness. Surely you can allow me some amusement, Miss Holland?”
“I suppose this once I can allow it, especially as she will now be all over town, telling everyone about our unexpected visitor and his extravagant gifts; yes, I can definitely allow a little leeway,” Milly acknowledged. “But be careful, she is one of the top members of our society.”
“I won’t upset her enough that she would take out her spite on you,” Henry responded with feeling. She had been upset and put at risk too much already because of his actions.
“She won’t have much time to take anything out on me, but I worry about her cutting tongue being used against Mother. If all goes to plan, I shall be leaving in two weeks.”
“Leaving? Why on earth would you be leaving? Are you returning to your cousin?” Henry asked in surprise.
“I’m travelling to Ireland to be a lady’s companion,” Milly said. It was more for her own sanity that she was uttering the words. Seeing him had sent her heart in a number of flights of fancy; a flicker of hope had ignited that he might have visited to see her. Saying the words out loud reminded her that they were completely different people with no real possibility of a permanent connection.
In her own turmoil, she failed to notice the paling of Henry’s face.
Henry had felt his stomach lurch at the thought of her travelling overseas and out of his life forever. He was torn between anger that she would consider what was, in his eyes, such a foolish plan and the fact that he would never see her sparkling grey eyes again.
“Ireland, Miss Holland? You can’t go to Ireland!” Henry spluttered, surprising both Milly and himself at the force of his words. “I’ll never see you again!”
Chapter 9
Mrs Holland returned to the drawing room very pleased that the afternoon had turned out so well. It was a shame that Lord Grinstead looked a little out of sorts and soon made his excuses and left, although he had visited for far longer than was usual.
“I do hope you have a suitable gown for the ball. I expect Lord Grinstead is used to seeing only the finest of materials,” Mrs Holland fretted when their guest had gone.
“As he’s danced with me previously, I’m sure my attire will be acceptable,” Milly responded a little sharply. She did not wish to give her mother false hope that his visit was anything other than a coincidence, and it was becoming wearing that Milly was constantly a disappointment to her parent. She would not normally snap at anyone, in fact, but the way Henry had responded to her news had confused her even more.
The following morning Milly came out of the post office, having sent off a letter confirming her attendance at the planned meeting in Guildford when her breath caught in her throat. Riding down the road towards her was Henry on a large chestnut coloured horse, his brown frockcoat almost blending into the skin of the horse where it touched. The picture was perfect; rider and animal in harmony with each other. It was a sight that Milly would love to reproduce on paper.
She swallowed, her mouth going suddenly dry as Henry dismounted. They bowed and curtseyed, and Henry fell in
to step beside her, leading the horse with his left hand and offering his right arm to Milly.
“May I accompany you, Miss Holland?”
“I was only returning home, but you are welcome to join me,” Milly responded, placing her hand on his offered arm. It was good to be in contact with his body even though it was only his arm. Even that seemed strong and sure, something she noticed about Henry: he was always so strong, it was reassuring. Then she shook herself at her own foolish thoughts ̶ when had this change taken place within her? Not so very long ago she was cursing him to the devil. She silently cursed her fickleness and inconsistency.
“Is there a longer way to walk? It would be pleasant to stay outdoors where we can talk privately.” Henry had to impart the news that she was potentially at some risk, although he was not convinced Joshua would seek her out so far from London.
“That sounds ominous.”
“Before we start, I’d like to ask you why on earth you are going to Ireland,” Henry asked, voicing the words that had been bothering him since he had left her home the previous afternoon.
“It’s not yet decided, but there is a companion’s position available with a young widow. It means I won’t have to become the servant of an elderly lady, of which I could not be enthusiastic,” Milly responded honestly.
“I’m surprised you wish to be anyone’s companion. Why not stay at home?”
“I’m not in the fortunate position of having an independent income, My Lord,” Milly responded, her tone a little defensive.
“It’s an impertinent question, I realise that, Miss Holland, but did your father not leave you any funds?” Henry asked, his tone gentle.
Milly sighed; she hated revealing her straitened circumstances, but he was no fool and had probably guessed much of her situation. “My father left nothing but debt. If it wasn’t for Charles’ kind support, we would be in a far worse position than we are now. He pays for my mother’s home, my two brothers’ schooling and has kept me for the last four years. No, there were no funds to provide a security blanket at Father’s demise.”
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