I thought I saw a twinge of pain in her eyes, but it passed by so quickly that I may have been mistaken. She turned and walked quickly from the living room. Shortly after, she came out dressed in a brown dress, with the termagant following behind her. The scent of their combined perfumes invaded the atmosphere. Each molecule stank of good money. Without looking at me, they walked straight out of the house. I followed like an ass.
‘Ola . . .’ I called. ‘Ola.’
She did not even look my way. Any passerby could have easily mistaken me for a schizophrenic conversing with invisible KGB agents.
‘Ola, please just give me a bit more time.’
With me lurking at her side, they stood by the main road and hailed a passing okada.
‘Empire Hotel!’ the termagant shouted.
The daredevil driver did a maniacal U-turn and stopped with his engine still running. Ola climbed on as close to the driver as was physically possible, leaving just enough space for the termagant. When the driver had perceived that they had settled as comfortably as the laws of space would allow, he revved his engine and zoomed off.
Nine
It could have been the sorrowful eyes that she saw.
It could have been the gloomy aura that she perceived.
Whatever it was, as soon as I walked into the hospital with my father’s provisions, my mother knew that darkness had befallen her opara.
‘Kings . . . Kings . . .’ she whispered anxiously and jumped up. ‘What happened? What’s the matter?’
It felt as if a gallon of 2,2,4-trimethylpentane had been pumped into my heart and set alight with a stick of match.
‘Ola . . . Ola . . .’
When I was a child, we had watched a documentary on television about an East African tribe who spoke with clicks and gargles instead of real words. I used to imitate their chatter to amuse Godfrey and Eugene. Now I appeared to be talking the same language, the only difference being that I was not doing it to amuse anybody.
‘Kings, it’s OK,’ my mother interrupted. ‘Calm down, calm down.’
She led me to the second chair and held me against her chest. I closed my eyes and wept - softly, at first, then louder, with my head and shoulders quaking.
‘Kings,’ she said gently, after she had allowed me to cry for a while.
I sniffled.
‘Kings, look up.’
I wiped my eyes and obeyed. I did not look her directly in the face.
‘Kings, what happened with Ola?’
I narrated everything. I mentioned the trip to her school and the visit to her mother, not forgetting the termagant and the Dolce &
Gabbana wristwatch. From time to time, my mother glanced in my father’s direction, probably to check if my voice was bothering him.
‘Mummy, I don’t know what to do.’
I looked at her. She did not say anything. Pain was scrawled all over her face.
‘I don’t think I can live without Ola.’
‘Kings. Kings, if she doesn’t want you because you’re going through hard times, then she doesn’t deserve you. Any girl that—’
‘Mummy, what can I do?’ I cut in. I was not interested in grammar and grand philosophy.
‘Kings, I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, but I don’t think you deserve the way she’s just treated you. If she can do this now, then—’
‘I think I should go and talk to her mother again. This is not like Ola at all. I’m sure—’
‘Kings . . . Kings . . .’
‘If I can just convince—’
‘Kings,’ she said firmly, ‘I don’t think you should bother. That stupid woman already treated you like a scrap of paper.’
My mother’s advice was definitely biased. She was not a fan of Ola’s mother. She claimed that the woman had seen her in the market one time and pretended as if she did not know her.
‘It doesn’t bother me,’ she had said of the incident. ‘I’m just telling you for the sake of telling you, that’s all.’
Yet she had narrated the same story to my father later that evening and to Aunty Dimma several weeks later.
‘But how do you know she saw you?’ Aunty Dimma asked.
That was the same question I had asked.
‘She saw me,’ my mother insisted. ‘I even called out to her and she just gave me a cold smile and kept going.’
That was the same answer my mother had given me.
‘How do you know she recognised you?’
‘Is it not the same woman who came to this house on Kings’s graduation day to eat rice and chicken with us?’
‘Tell me not!’ responded Aunty Dimma, the queen of drama.
My mother got fired up.
‘God knows that if not for Kings, there’s no place where that woman would see me to insult me. As far as I’m concerned, she’s nothing more than a hanging towel. I’m not even sure she went to school.’
‘I’ll go and see her again,’ I insisted now. ‘Maybe she didn’t think I was serious the last time I went to see her.’
‘Kings, I don’t think you—’
‘In fact, I’ll go today.’
‘Why not—’
The nurse walked in.
‘Have you brought the things on the list I gave you?’ she asked.
I suspended my grief and searched around. The carrier bag with the items I had purchased on my way to the hospital was lying beside a deceased cockroach by the door.
Straight from the hospital, I went to the pepper-soup joint. Ola’s mother was busy attending to customers. She scowled when she spotted me, but said I could wait until she was free. If I wanted to.
As was usual for that time of evening, most of the white plastic chairs, clustered around white plastic tables, were fully occupied. The place was bustling with the sort of men who liked places like this and the sort of women who liked the company of men who liked places like this. There were giggling twosomes and jolly foursomes, there were debauched young girls and lecherous old men, with a variety of lagers and soft drinks, and cow and chicken and goat pepper soups served on wooden dishes or in china bowls. I recognised one of my father’s former colleagues. I wondered if the man had told his wife where he would be hanging out tonight.
My father never ate out. No respectable Igbo married man would leave his house and go outside to buy a meal to eat. It was irresponsible, the ultimate indictment on any wife - ‘di ya na-eri hotel’. Take my Aunty Dimma, for example. Long before she separated from her husband, moved to Port Harcourt, and subsequently became a religious fanatic, she was considered as one of the most incompetent wives to have ever been sent forth from my mother’s whole extended family. Generally, she was a lovely woman. She was kind, helpful, always the first to turn up and support us, even if we were simply mourning a wilted plant. But my father once commented to my mother that it was a miracle for anyone to remain married to her and not lose control of themselves.
Where could a husband start in recording matrimonial complaints against her?
She always left home in the morning before her husband and did not return before him.
She had wanted to employ a cook even when he had made it quite clear that he wanted to eat only meals she herself cooked.
She was always arguing with him about what was appropriate for her to wear and what was not. Once, she even insisted on wearing a pair of trousers to accompany him to a meeting of his townspeople.
Aunty Dimma had also been known to openly slight her husband and despise his role as head of the family. Like the time when she had gone ahead and bought herself a car even after her husband had insisted that she should continue using public transport until he was able to afford to buy the car for her by himself.
Despite all this, the most obvious sign that the marriage was in trouble was when the embittered man started eating out. Matters degenerated from that point onwards. Once or twice, my parents and relatives collectively reprimanded him for raising his hand to strike her. But behind clos
ed doors, they all marvelled that he could stop at one or two slaps.
Sixty-five minutes later, Ola’s mother was still too busy to see me. Choosing to believe that she had forgotten, I walked up to where she was giving one of her girls an instruction by the counter and gently tapped her.
‘Mama . . .’
She looked at me and scowled.
‘You can see that I’m busy, eh?’
‘Mama, I promise it won’t take long.’
She glanced at her silver-strapped wristwatch. It looked brand new. And the stones looked valid, too. She was also wearing a narrow, glitzy bracelet with a matching necklace and pendant.
‘Oya, go on and say whatever you want to say.’
I wanted to ask for a more private meeting place. Her glare dared me to make any further requests. I stood there - within hearing of any of her girls, any of her customers who cared to extend an ear - and told her that Ola had informed me that our relationship had no future. I pleaded with her to give me some more time; I was planning to move to Port Harcourt and find a quick job.
She kept looking at me with that curious expression that people have when they are trying hard to understand others who are speaking a foreign language. Then she shrugged an exaggerated shrug.
‘Well, me I’ve decided to remove my mouth. Whatever happens between you and Ola is entirely up to both of you. As far as I’m concerned you people should just go ahead and do what you people like.’
‘But Mama—’
‘I told you that I’m busy and you said I should listen to you. Now I’ve listened and told you what I have to say. I have to go back to work now.’
With that, she turned and disappeared into the smoky kitchen, from where all sorts of tongue-tickling scents were proceeding like an advancing army.
Ten
As news of my father’s ill health spread, his bedside became a parade of friends and relatives and well-wishers. Every day, somebody new came to express best wishes, to let us know that we were in their prayers. Sometimes I felt like keeping away until all these people had left. But as opara, it was my duty to receive them, to share the burden of my mother’s faithful vigil at her husband’s side. She went home only once a day - to wash and to change and to visit her shop. She always looked drawn. And when she did not have her skull wrapped up in a scarf, her beautiful hair looked as if it had converted completely to grey overnight.
Aunty Dimma had turned up with a flask of ukwa and fried plantain, which my mother had barely touched. When I walked in, Aunty stood and unfastened thick, crimson lips in one of her sensational smiles.
‘Kings, Kings,’ she crooned in C minor. ‘Opara nne ya! My charming young darling, how are you?’
She trapped me in a backbreaking hug that lasted quite long. I felt a gooey substance on my right ear and hoped that it was simply some stray hair gel from her red-streaked pompadour. She tickled my cheeks with her fingers. Aunty Dimma had always been one for histrionics, but this extra zing told me that she had learned that I had been dumped.
My mother heaved a sigh. Aunty Dimma released me and turned to her.
‘Are you doubting?’ she asked. ‘Don’t you believe God heals?’
Probably because she was a liberated woman, Aunty Dimma usually spoke in a loud, red-hot voice, even when she was not angry. She also had an opinion about everything - from the second-class status of women in Igbo Land to the status quo in Outer Mongolia. And she always made sure that her voice put the final full stop to every conversation. The only factor hindering Aunty Dimma’s complete metamorphosis from liberated woman to full-fledged man was that she had not yet grown a beard.
‘Of course I know God heals,’ my mother replied softly. ‘But I believe that sometimes, God allows sickness to teach us a lesson.’
‘If that’s the case,’ Aunty Dimma said with a smirk, ‘why are you even bothering coming to hospital?’
I dived in.
‘Mummy, what are we going to do about money? Is there anybody else we can borrow from?’
Both women crash-landed to matters arising. So far, we had borrowed once from Mr Nwude’s elder brother while Aunty Dimma had made two medium-sized cash donations that were commensurate with her pocket. All my mother’s jewellery and expensive wrappers had already been sold to provide for children’s school fees in crises past. Crumbs were left in the bank. Very soon, even if the doctors grabbed each of us by our two legs, turned us upside down with our heads facing the ground, and shook us violently, not a penny would drop.
Aunty Dimma’s voice ended the long silence.
‘What about your brother?’ she asked.
‘Which one?’ my mother replied.
‘Which other one do you think? Boniface is there in Aba spending money on foolish girls and buying new cars every day. Why not tell him that Paulinus is in hospital?’
Terrified, I shot a glance at my father, wondering if he had heard. If he had, he would want nothing more than to rise from the bed and empty his catheter bag into my aunt’s mouth. Everybody knew how much he detested Uncle Boniface. I was surprised that my mother did not immediately forbid Aunty Dimma from raising the matter again. Instead, she kept quiet.
I held my breath and watched. She actually appeared to be considering it.
‘After all, what’s the big deal?’ Aunty Dimma continued. ‘Other rich people build houses for their relatives and train their siblings’ children. One of my friends—’
‘Reduce your voice,’ my mother whispered.
‘One of my friends, her elder brother is paying for her daughter to do a Masters degree in London . . . almost ten thousand pounds. How can you people have a brother who’s so rich and you’re struggling like this?’
My mother pondered some more.
‘These nouveau riche, money-miss-road people,’ she responded at last, ‘they have a way of getting on someone’s nerves. Look at Boniface who lived with us just yesterday. All of a sudden, small money has turned his head upside down. At Papa’s burial, didn’t you see how he was moving up and down with security guards as if he’s the head of state? The boy didn’t even finish secondary school.’
Aunty Dimma looked at my mother and laughed. She finished laughing, looked at my mother again, and began another round of laughter.
‘Point of correction,’ she said, ‘his money is not small at all. The cost of his cars alone can pay off all of Nigeria’s international debts. You can go on calling him big names like “nouveau riche”. You own the big grammar, he owns the big money.’
She laughed some more.
‘So what are you suggesting?’ my mother asked now, her voice still well below normal speaking range.
‘Ozoemena, humble yourself. We’re talking about Paulinus’s life here. I have his cellular number, but I think it’s best to talk to him face-to-face. You don’t have to go yourself.’ She nodded at me. ‘Send Kings.’
‘To Aba or to Lagos?’ my mother asked.
‘He’s mostly in Aba. Only his wife and children stay in the Lagos house. I hear she doesn’t like Aba.’ Aunty Dimma snorted. ‘It’s probably too backward for her.’
‘What kind of marriage is that? How can they live so far apart?’
‘Marriage? Hmm. The girl was a professional mistress before she finally settled down. What do you expect? She just generally eats his money and takes care of his children.’
‘So do you people think I should go and ask him for the money?’ I interrupted, trying to corner them back into action.
‘I think so,’ Aunty Dimma replied. ‘This money that is causing you people sleepless nights is ordinary chewing gum money to some other people. At the end of the day, he’s your flesh and blood.’
She gave me more details about where to find Uncle Boniface’s office in Aba.
‘Just ask anybody,’ she said. ‘Tell them you’re looking for Cash Daddy.’
Eleven
The streets of Aba were flooded with refuse. The stinky dirt encroached on the roads and caused motoris
ts to struggle through narrow strips of tar. Touts screamed at the tops of their voices and bullied commercial drivers into stopping so that they could extort small denominations from them towards bogus levies. A stark naked schizophrenic with a bundle of dirty rags on her head, danced merrily in the middle of a T-junction. As the okada snaked through the logjam of vehicles towards Unity Road, I nearly fell off the saddle when we rode past two charred human remains sitting upright by the main road.
‘Why are you behaving like a woman?’ the okada driver laughed.
Next to Onitsha, Aba was the hometown of jungle justice. The people of Aba did not want to depend on their government for everything. They had taken the nobleman’s advice literally and asked themselves what they could do for their government instead of what their government could do for them. They had chosen to assist her with the execution of justice. Therefore, when a thief was caught red-handed - whether for picking a pocket or napping a kid - people in the streets would pursue him, overtake him, arrest him, strip him naked, secure him in an upright position, place an old tyre round his neck, saturate his body with fuel, and light a match. The tyre would ensure that the flames continued until all that remained of the felon was charcoal.
My aunty had not been wrong; the okada driver had known exactly where I could find Uncle Boniface.
‘Oh, you mean Cash Daddy?’ he asked. ‘Is it his office or his hotel or his house that you want?’
‘I’m going to the office,’ I replied.
Being something of a celebrity in this part of the country, I knew more about my uncle from the grapevine and from tittle-tattle than I knew from his being my relative. It was still difficult to correlate the stories of immense wealth with the ne’er-do-well lad that lived with us all those years ago. But then, it was not today that Uncle Boniface started making grubby bucks.
Back in the day, my mother had come up with a novel idea. Tired of sending her girls out to buy drinks on behalf of thirsty customers while they waited to have their measurements taken, or to pick up ready clothes that were having finishing touches put on them, she bought a freezer for her shop so she could make soft drinks available for sale whenever her customers wanted. That idea turned into a major source of income since more and more people who lived on the street soon sought her out as their provider of cold drinks. My father then suggested that Uncle Boniface could go down to the shop after school, to help manage these extra customers.
I Do Not Come to You by Chance Page 9
