by S. E. Babin
Or maybe this could just throw me into more drama.
That sounded a lot more likely than giving me any relief. So far life hadn't thrown a lot of positive things my way when it came to the Olympians.
"It's like a band-aid," Clotho said. "Just rip it off."
I turned to her. "And just how do you know so much about this?" I asked. "You sure do seem like a cat with a bowl of cream."
Clotho gave an enigmatic smile and said nothing.
"Right. You're a Fate." I waggled my hands. "Boogah, boogah. I know everything."
She huffed. "I've never said boogah, boogah."
"It seems like you do."
I flipped the first page. Not much except for the rule book, which I was planning on studying with full concentration once I got through the rest of it.
Numerous pages later, because Olympians can't have simple rules for anything because we're a bunch of big damn cheaters, I flipped to the next documents.
I skimmed the contents of it and there wasn't a sound in the kitchen other than the occasional drip from the faucet that I'd been needing to fix for months now.
My gaze alighted on a phrase. The world dropped out from underneath me.
Someone was waving something underneath my nose that smelled like rotten socks. I grimaced and shoved it away from me. "Gah! What the hell, Clotho?"
"You fainted. How else was I supposed to revive you?"
"Perhaps waiting for more than ten seconds?" Hades supplied, his voice dry as the desert.
"This is not something that can wait," she replied.
"Ten seconds is not world-breaking, Clotho," Artie said.
"Perhaps you are unfamiliar with the ways of Olympus then, child," Clotho retorted.
I sat up, pinching the bridge of my nose. A headache was coming on and I was supposed to be immune to them. "So..." I said, my voice a lot lighter than it should be, "I'm part Titan?"
Hermes, who hadn't said a word in quite a while, nodded. His face was white with shock and his lips were pinched together. He looked like he'd taken a drink of something sour and he was about to vomit.
I felt the same way.
I'd just found out my mother was Hecate a little while ago. My father was the big mystery and it seemed like my mother didn't want to talk about it.
After looking at this, it seemed maybe she didn't know how she'd gotten pregnant with me.
But I did, and the story was just as weird as anything else that had happened in my life recently.
"A Titan," I mused and snorted. "If anyone else found this out, there would be a mob of people holding pitchforks at my door."
Hades reached over and laced his fingers between mine. "Your secret is safe with us."
As it turned out, my father was none other than Uranus, Father of the Sky, Leader of the Titans and supposed husband to Gaia. But Gaia got around a little bit as we all know, so I wasn't sure what to believe anymore. When it came to us, the myths were just as outrageous as the truth. His children and my favorite, Cronus, wanted to usurp his rule so they did what any kids would do when faced with a monstrous power.
They castrated him and threw his pecker into the sea.
Now, as if that weren't bad enough, at the same time this was happening, my mother happened to be bathing in that particular sea at the moment when his manhood was cast out of the heavens. It was purely bad luck.
Hecate became impregnated with little ole me. And she probably didn't have a freaking clue how it happened.
Good times.
"Are you going to tell her?" Clotho asked.
I shut my eyes and shook my head. "Does it matter? I'm here. She's there. We both exist. Uranus probably doesn't know I'm his child."
"Zeus plans to use this, Abby. You are destined to unite everyone."
"Good luck with that," Artie piped out. "You have about as good a chance of uniting the Titans and the Olympians than you do the Hatfields and the McCoy's."
Clotho stared at her blankly. Apparently Kentucky history wasn't her thing, but I knew who they were, and Artie was right.
First of all, I didn't have a clue how to be a queen or how to unite even the peas on my plate when they started to roll everywhere. Second, did I even want this responsibility?
No, indeed, I did not. And what would I be queen of? I had no territory. I wasn't married. I-
Oh.
I flipped through the rest of the pages. Zeus didn't want to unite the Titans. He wanted to destroy them.
Even if it included his son, Typhon.
If he had me as a daughter in law, a princess to the throne, he could use the truth of my birth. The Olympians would hate me and the Titans would want to control me.
He could use the truth to incite war.
Rarely did the Olympians and Titans mix, and when they did, the offspring was usually something monstrous. Like Typhon. Apparently me as well. Although I couldn't grow octopus legs or forty feet tall.
I looked down at my legs. Could I?
“No,” Clotho said, correctly interpreting my look. “Don’t be a weirdo.”
“Nothing is out of the realm of possibility anymore,” I retorted.
I abruptly stood, taking the sheath of papers with me. “I can’t deal with the daddy issue right now. I need to read over these rules and figure out how to win. If I can win this, Zeus won’t be able to use me. This problem has the potential to take care of itself.”
All of my friends gave me a look. The look. The one that said sure, of course that will happen because everything good just falls right into my lap. “Shut up,” I grumbled at them as I stormed out of the kitchen.
A few minutes later, the door opened and Hades stepped into the room. Every time he came into my space he filled it but instead of being overwhelmed, it made me happy. Would I be happy for long, though? I tossed the rules aside. Maybe, maybe not. I’d have to take this one day at a time and squeeze my happiness out while I still could.
“Find anything?” he asked as he rubbed the back of his neck.
I grunted in annoyance.
“That good?” Hades chuckled as he kicked off his shoes and left them by the door.
“Not yet.” I tapped the top of the pages. “But I can feel it. Something in here is going to help me. Otherwise why would he have gone to such pains to hide it?” I hoped Hera was okay. Never in a million years would I have expected her to step up and help me. Maybe she was as tired of the shenanigans as I was.
The mattress sank as Hades lowered his weight on it. He groaned as he stretched out.
“Hard day?” I asked as I reached over and stroked his inky black hair.
A snort came from him. “Other than finding out my lady has some really shady genetics?”
I swatted him, but couldn’t help the smile that came to my face. “It isn’t easy being me.”
He pulled me down and I snuggled into his chest. “I can’t imagine it would be.” He fell silent for a moment. “Do you think you’re going to be able to unite anyone?”
“No one has asked me to unite anything,” I said, and I was serious. “And until they do, I’m just going to keep doing my thing.”
“That might be wise.” He played with a long strand of my hair. “If Zeus has his say though, you won’t have a choice.”
“I’m going to win.”
Hades sighed. “I know, Abs.” He dropped the strand. “But at what cost?”
It was the question I kept asking myself over and over again. What cost to me and what cost to the world? The old gods were still here but no longer worshipped. Right now there was no real war. Yes, Cronus had come back and tried to make some trouble, but nothing much had come of it afterward. Part of me felt like this was Zeus feeling slighted and trying to create chaos. The other part of me had no idea why any of this was happening. I couldn’t imagine me walking right up to Uranus and announcing I was his daughter. He’d laugh me right out of his palace.
Or wherever he was. I’d met the Titan once. Well, I never technically
met him. I saw him dragging his son, Cronus, off after some serious misbehavior. Hades brought Uranus back to life to help take care of a major problem we’d been having with a power struggle between some of the other gods. I was Uranus’ offspring, destined to be Queen. Of…something. It still wasn’t exactly clear, and every time I thought it was a bombshell got dropped into my lap and screwed my entire world up. But it was getting there. Sooner, rather than later, this whole thing would be clear.
And I’d either be ahead of the pack or getting trampled by it.
Chapter 15
I found it the next morning while sipping coffee and lazily reading over a note toward the bottom of one of the pages.
Champions of Game participants are required to participate once they are asked.
I read it again just to make sure I wasn’t having a coffee deprivation moment.
This meant I didn’t actually have to ask someone to be my champion. I could compel them. A grin formed on my face. This took care of my prior problem about owing anyone anything and would allow the plan I hatched earlier to go ahead with smooth sailing.
Well, probably. There was almost no smooth sailing when that guy was involved. Could you compel someone that powerful?
I was about to find out.
Hermes shuffled into the kitchen, saw my manic smile, and abruptly turned around and headed back upstairs.
Right. Plausible deniability again. I swallowed the rest of my coffee, picked up the sheath of papers and blinked out of my house and into the realm of the Christian God.
He’d told me awhile ago how to contact him, but I’d never used it. He was a dangerous man to know and an even more dangerous man to get involved in a business deal with. Hades might have been the devil, but God was the details, and everyone knew the devil was in the details.
I looked down at myself and quickly used a burst of magic to change into something more appropriate. Since I was in Heaven and he seemed to prefer white, I changed into a long, flowy white skirt and a purple off the shoulder top. I let my hair curl down past my waist and kept the makeup to a minimum. I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard.
The doors to his palace creaked open and I stepped in. There was no need for guards here. Cool air brushed the curls back from my neck. Long wings flowed from almost everyone who brushed past me. Plus everyone was beautiful, which was a little bit weird. The Greek gods and goddesses were made to be beautiful because Zeus liked beauty. The humans were a...little different. We were the personification of human beauty. Humans were the personification of all beauty. It was a weird thing to swallow, but I was surprised to see no humans. Everyone walking around appeared to be an angel.
If this wasn’t actual Heaven, where was it?
God appeared by my side. “Where no one can ever find it.”
I knew he was going to do that and I’d prepared myself for it. God looked me up and down from head to toe and nodded in approval. “You are beautiful enough to make a good Queen.”
I stifled the urge to tell him to shove it.
“Heaven is paradise, Abby, and humans suffer for it. When their suffering is over, and if they served me faithfully, they will spend the rest of their afterlives there.”
“And if they don’t?” I asked him
He shrugged. “Well, we have a few things we can do. Just ask Hades.”
I didn’t want to know exactly what Hades did in the parts where he had to act as Lucifer. I’m sure they weren’t kind.
Eventually I knew I'd have to ask him and maybe even get involved in the day to day affairs of the Underworld, but I was getting way ahead of myself here. This was even if I was successful. And right now, the guy standing next to me was an integral part of my plans.
"I assume you're here for a reason," he said as we stood there watching his angels do nothing except preen and be beautiful.
I nodded.
"This should be interesting." He motioned for me to walk with him.
"I'm always interesting," I quipped as I followed.
"That's what I'm afraid of."
Twenty minutes later an angel wearing a short skirt and a tiny halo served us coffee and cinnamon shortbread biscuits. It made me a little uncomfortable to watch her work because I always had this certain idea in my head, when I deigned to think about it, about how angels were supposed to look and behave. This woman looked like a Playboy Bunny. Sexuality oozed from her pores and her blonde hair was so bleached I wondered if she had brain damage.
Alas, I was in Heaven and not supposed to be judgey.
God set his coffee cup on the table and stared at me like I was an alien. I suppose my request was a little bit outlandish. I was giving him the opportunity to respond before I told him I had his balls in a vice and he couldn't refuse me. This was bound to make him very unhappy, so I had my exit route already planned out just in case he decided to try and vaporize me.
It was God we were talking about here. We didn't trust each other as far as we could throw each other.
I knew he wanted me to marry his son. I wanted that too, although I didn't want him to know just how very much I wanted that. Even though I suspected he already did. This was a mutually beneficial deal.
"You want me to act as your champion?" he repeated like a broken record. He'd already said this a few times to me and all I'd done was nod each time. I did so again.
"Why?" His brows were drawn together in suspicion.
"Because you're the most powerful person I know," I said truthfully.
"But our..." he waved a hand struggling to find the words, "we don't mix. We never have. Well, not until lately, but it's because of you. I'm not sure this is a very good idea."
I wasn't sure in the history of all the ideas I ever had that any of them were good, but now wasn't the time to tell him that.
I leaned forward. "I want to win."
He nodded.
"And you want me to win, correct?"
He nodded again.
"Then what's the problem?"
He leaned forward as well until our noses were almost touching. "The problem is that this has the potential to incite war. You have no idea the kind of criticism you're inviting by asking me to do this." God steepled his fingers. "Has Hades not stepped in yet?"
I kept my face carefully blank. "Hades is allowing me to solve my own problems." Which was a roundabout way of saying no, but also making me feel like an independent woman. I secretly wished Hades would just step in and destroy everyone but, alas, that would also be a very bad idea.
"He does not wish to be involved." God frowned. "He is too much of a peacemaker," he murmured, more to himself than me. "But if he wants to hold a queen, he has to step in."
"It does not matter." I sat back and took a sip of coffee. Really good coffee. I needed to ask him where he got this at, though knowing him he had legions of dead coffee making masters working in a heaven factory for him.
"Of course it matters," he said mildly. "I cannot do everything for my son."
"This isn't for Hades. It's for me."
God sighed and snapped off a piece of biscuit. "I'm sorry, Aphrodite. This is not my place to get involved. I wish you the best of luck."
I produced the piece of paper with the rules on it. I wasn't sure how the next few minutes were going to go, so I braced myself. "We do not have many rules for our lives," I admitted, “but sometimes there are some. When there are, they tend to be extremely important." I handed it over not sure what was going to happen.
He took the paper from me and scanned down the sheet. When he hit the right passage, his lips thinned. "This doesn't apply to me," he snapped. "I do not belong to your Creation. I belong to my own."
I blinked innocently at him. "Oh, excuse me, what does it say?"
God narrowed his eyes. "This says I am compelled to participate in these games."
"That's right. Compelled. I asked you to participate, you said no. But now I am telling you." I phrased the words carefully. "Be my champion in the games of
old. By doing so you will achieve your own agenda and help me achieve mine. I am not asking you. I am compelling you."
Anger flashed in his eyes and he opened his mouth, "No -" he began, but could not longer speak. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water and I watched, horrified, as a tendril of bright yellow magic flowed up from the paper he was holding and began to wrap around him. Tight tendrils of magic wrapped around his neck and down his body until he was trussed up like a hog about to be led to slaughter.
Well. I didn't expect that to happen.
We stared at each other, and I knew that if this all worked out, he was probably going to be a terrible father-in-law. His mouth still worked as he tried to speak.
I sighed as I knew what had to be done. I'd just trapped God into a geas. The only way he was going to be let go was if he agreed.
"Say yes," I told him. "Otherwise we're going to be here for awhile."
Anger made his face redden to a dark burnished maroon. He kept trying to speak, and I watched with mild interest as the magic ropes began to tighten every time he disagreed.
If the Games didn't kill me first, he would. Then Hades would participate afterward until I was just tiny immortal chunks of meat.
I don't know why I did the things I did sometimes, but I knew this would work.
It had to.
It was another hour and a half before God finally agreed to be my champion. As soon as he did, the ropes disappeared in a snap of magic. He stood up, flicked his fingers at me, and I was thrown out of Heaven with little regard and with lots of bruises when I finally landed.
Hermes stood at my feet, one eyebrow raised, as I groaned in pain. "Whatever that was, I'm sure it went well," he said and sighed. He reached down with one hand and helped me up.
I spit out a mouthful of grass and grinned at him. "It went as well as it could be expected," I chirped even as I winced in pain.
He rolled his eyes at me and held open the back door for me. "Maybe I don't want to know," he said quietly.
"Maybe you don't," I agreed.
Several hours later, after a shower to get the dirt and grass out of all of my orifices, I went to visit Hades. I was trying not to keep secrets so much, and while I knew he was going to be super pissed at me, I felt like I needed to tell him first. Then he could yell and rail at me before the games and have the chance to get used to it.
