Vivian had just taken a bite from a cracker when the last message played. It was a teary Tai asking in a voice filled with pain for Vivian to call her right away. The uneaten cracker lay like sawdust in her mouth as Vivian grabbed the glass of orange juice she’d just poured, placed the tuna plate in the refrigerator and headed for the comforts of her family room and the cordless phone there. Without asking or praying, Vivian knew she’d need all the comfort she could get for the conversation that lay ahead. She took a long drink of orange juice, finally ridding her mouth of the cracker she kept chewing but was suddenly unable to swallow. Folding her legs beneath her as she sank onto the couch, she said a simple prayer as she punched in the speed dial to Tai’s home. “Help, Lord Jesus.”
“I’m divorcing King.”
Those words seeped out of Tai’s mouth like blood from a fresh wound. Vivian closed her eyes and breathed deeply, silently reciting the Twenty-third Psalm as she struggled to maintain a calm demeanor.
“Viv, you there?” Tai asked in a quiet voice.
“I’m here,” Vivian replied simply. She thought of a thousand different responses, but none of them seemed adequate enough to voice aloud.
“Well, aren’t you going to say anything?” Tai asked, not knowing what words she wanted to hear.
“What happened?” Vivian said finally, deciding that the best place to start was at the beginning.
Tai spent the next thirty minutes detailing the blatant confirmation of King’s affair and his stark confession following an emotionally brutal confrontation that morning.
The nightmare had started the day before, after Tai’s thrice-weekly workout at the Full Workout Fitness Center. Feeling proud of herself and the newly rediscovered waistline beneath her recently shed twenty pounds, Tai decided to splurge and purchase a couple summer suits. Passing the usual shops and strip malls in her quiet suburb, Tai had hit I–35 and headed to Kansas City’s upscale shopping and dining district, the Plaza. She’d felt good as she sipped her peach and passion fruit smoothie, turned up the sounds of Oldies 91.5 and chanted along with the soul-stirring sounds of the Pointer Sisters. “I know we can make it, I know we can…”
Tai bobbed her head and tapped the steering wheel as she cruised down a wide-open Midwest freeway. Mama Max had been right. Focusing on herself and not worrying so much about the so-called other woman in King’s life was just the thing. Tai was feeling better than she had in years. She had more energy, more stamina and more confidence. Her children were pleased, and King had not only noticed, but had complimented her efforts, encouraging her to continue and thanking her for the more nutritious yet still delicious meals of baked chicken and fish, steamed vegetables and light pasta dishes that had begun to replace her former casserole fare.
Tai breathed deeply and sent a “Thank you, Jesus” up as she found a parking space near the entrance to the Bonwit Teller department store. She squelched the urge to shop the clearance rack and instead headed straight to the designer suit department. A friendly yet unobtrusive sales associate seemed to know exactly what Tai was looking for, and just a little over an hour later, Tai left three beautiful suits behind to be tailored and carried with her two pair of Bebe pumps and a bag filled with feel-good toiletries, including a large bottle of Sung, her favorite cologne.
On her way to the rest room on the third floor, Tai passed the beauty salon. She couldn’t remember the last time anyone but Sue had done her hair. Feeling adventurous, she stepped through the door. She left with a short, curly carefree hairstyle. Subtle highlights had been added to her rich, auburn color. After generously tipping Nia, her new best friend, Tai almost skipped out of the salon, she was that happy; thought she looked great.
She headed for her car, placed her purchases in the trunk and was about to get in when she remembered the bagel she’d had for breakfast and the smoothie she’d enjoyed right after her workout were long gone. She looked at her watch, and with two hours left before having to pick up the children from school, she sidestepped her first choice, McDonalds, and decided to take a stroll down the boulevard to see if there was a nice little sandwich shop in the area.
She stepped out of the parking garage into the warmth of the sun. It was a perfect summer day. She hadn’t even realized she was humming to herself as she stopped to peek in first one shop window and then another. She caught her reflection in the mirror and smiled as she patted her flatter stomach, pulling down her long pullover and thanking God that there was less “back” in the back. She turned her head first one way, then the other, still appraising her new hairstyle.
“Don’t worry, you look good.”
Tai turned around and blushed at the innocent compliment the young businessman had thrown her way before continuing down the street, swinging his briefcase and leaving behind a smile and good feelings. “I do look good,” Tai agreed. It had been a long time since she felt this way. She almost skipped like a schoolgirl again as she rounded the corner and noticed a deli across the street. She was about to cross when a little Italian bistro just ahead caught her eye. She hesitated for only a moment before deciding to continue her spending spree and actually enjoy a sit-down lunch that someone else had prepared for a change instead of a sandwich, her unimaginative first choice.
“Table for one?” the waiter asked as he grabbed a menu and led her down a quaint, walkway that wound around wrought-iron table and chair sets hosting red and black candles and white linen tablecloths. Tai admired the building’s Italy inspired décor as she followed the waiter deeper inside the restaurant. She noticed as the waiter led the way that there were also tables set up outside and was just about to inquire about one’s availability when she heard a familiar laugh. Thinking she was surely mistaken, she decided to follow the waiter on around the corner and into the area from where the laughter had come. She quickly looked around but saw no one she recognized. There were three booths set up along the walls, but the occupants were hidden behind the high backs of the mahogany enclosures. She’d just sat down and picked up the menu when she heard the laugh again. It was unmistakable this time. She got up slowly and without quite understanding why, felt just a hint of trepidation. Why shouldn’t her husband be enjoying a nice business lunch in the Plaza? She was! She was being silly. She shook her head, ridding unwanted thoughts. And I get to show off my new hairdo! Thinking of sharing lunch with her husband, she walked over to the booth housing the sound of his voice.
“I thought I recognized that vo—” she began, but never finished the sentence. She wanted to finish the sentence, but her vocal chords had ceased to function. She wanted to believe the attractive brunette—all ninety-eight pounds of her—was a business associate, a journalist perhaps or someone from the local Christian radio or TV station. She wanted to formulate some excuse, any excuse as to why her husband would be dining with this gorgeous creature who looked all of nineteen in the middle of the day and twenty miles from his church office. She wanted to capture an explanation that would hold down the bile that was rising from her stomach, but could not. The faces of both her husband and the other woman told her all she needed to know. King recovered first.
“Tai! What are you doing here?”
Tai was staring at the woman sitting in the booth with her husband and couldn’t say a word. The woman had big, bright green eyes, now wide with astonishment. Her thin mouth had formed a silent “O.” She was wearing a thin silver chain around her neck, the neck that Tai was gauging at that very moment to determine whether it would take one hand or two to choke.
“Tai,” King began again, reaching out to grab her arm. Tai flinched before stepping back, at the brink of losing control, every muscle in her newly toned body taut with the effort of maintaining control. In seconds she thought of a myriad of angry outbursts, played several scenes of violence in her head. Her hands actually twitched at the thought of grabbing and wiping the already clean floor up with this brunette Barbie. Mama Max’s face swam before her eyes, and she thought of her motherin-law’s encoun
ter years ago in the hall outside hotel room number 915. I think you’ve got something that belongs to me! And King? Tai was sure there was something sharp enough in the restaurant’s kitchen to take care of him. If he was hell-bent on passing his dick around, and that was what the look of guilt on his face implied, she’d make it easier for him. And then a quieter voice: Don’t lose it, girl, vengeance is mine saith the Lord. Mama Max’s voice seemed to fill her head with words of warning, words of wisdom. Tai didn’t realize it, but she had been holding her breath this entire time, a fact that caused her eyes to blur for just an instant before an eerie calm washed over her, causing her to recover at last. It could only have been the Holy Ghost.
“I don’t believe we’ve met,” she said calmly, firmly and with meaning. “I’m Tai Brook, King’s wife.”
The woman didn’t move but stammered weakly, “I’m A-A-April.” Then clearing her throat for more poise repeated, “April Summers.”
With the same uncanny calmness she’d just used to address her husband’s mistress, for there was no doubt in Tai’s mind as to whom this woman was, she turned to King. Her eyes were clear, devoid of emotion, almost unseeing. She worked to focus on the face of the man she’d loved over half her life. “Enjoy your lunch,” she said as she shot daggers at April before turning and quickly walking away.
“Tai, wait!” King spoke quickly, getting up to follow her. The few customers in the restaurant followed the action as well. King placed a hand on Tai’s shoulder. She jerked it off.
“Don’t touch me!” she hissed between a neat, white row of clenched teeth. “And save your explanation for my attorney.” King took a step back, stunned. Tai turned, head high, shoulders back and walked with the dignity of a queen out of the restaurant. At that moment, she felt that dignity was all she had left. Lord knew her appetite was gone.
That dignity carried her down the sidewalk, helped her cross the street and walk into the underground parking lot. Dignity helped her place the keys in her now terribly trembling hand into the lock and open the door to her brand-new SUV. She sat in the seat and was rock still for what seemed an eternity. She stared straight ahead seeing nothing, feeling nothing. Finally, like an automaton, she placed the key in the ignition and started the engine. She put the car in reverse and began backing out. Only the sound of a loud horn from the car directly behind brought her back to reality. She slammed on the brakes as the car carrying the angry driver careened around her and turned the corner. Tai turned then, making sure there were no cars coming before she continued backing up and headed out of the parking lot and into the afternoon Plaza bustle. The sun was still shining brightly, but Tai didn’t notice. Strains of an Earth, Wind and Fire classic encouraged her to keep her head to the sky, but she didn’t hear. She was barely aware of any activity around her as she navigated the city streets and entered the freeway. Although she was crying inside, wailing even, dignity kept her face dry. It was as though the Holy Spirit had literally wrapped around her emotions, blanketing her with the calm she needed to make it to the suburbs and her children’s school in one piece. A million thoughts ran haphazardly through her mind. Thoughts of commitment and betrayal. Of adultery and anguish. Of marriage and murder. Here she was, on the receiving end of King’s infidelity again. Not Hope, but April—a White woman. She knew that logically the color of the other woman’s skin shouldn’t matter, that adultery was adultery, but logic aside, the woman’s color added to Tai’s pain.
Tai pulled up to the curb of the school and waited for the twins. It was over an hour before they came out, but Tai barely noticed the time. When the twins bounded out from a group of students and piled in the car, Tai bravely donned a mask of normalcy for their ride home. When the kids noticed her new hairstyle and said how beautiful it made her look, Tai almost lost it. She got through the front door, then informed her unsuspecting children that she wasn’t feeling well and was going to her room, not to be disturbed unless there was an extreme emergency. The silent but deadly tone of her voice brooked no argument. She went to her room, lay down and finally allowed the tears to flow, onto the bed that she and King had shared for nearly two decades.
Vivian was a sympathetic listener throughout Tai’s recounting of the previous twenty-four hour’s tumultuous events. She rarely spoke except to ask a question or two and add the sympathetic “uh-huh” at the right moments. She knew Tai felt better after telling the story out loud, however painful.
“You said the confrontation happened this morning?” Vivian inquired. “What happened when King got home yesterday?”
“When he got home, I was gone. I knew I couldn’t handle even a conversation with him yesterday, so I asked Jan if she could watch the children until he got home, and I went to a hotel for the night. It took me all night just to gather the strength to face him. But I didn’t want to put off the inevitable, so as soon as I got home this morning, after the children left for school, I confronted him about the bitch at the restaurant. At first he tried to act like it was a business luncheon, but after I demanded it, he told me the truth. That he was seeing her and that they had been intimate. You would think that since I suspected it anyway, the truth wouldn’t hurt so much. It hurts like hell. April is where he’s been spending his time. I went off, attacked him; called him every name but a child of God. He left a few hours ago. I haven’t talked to anyone since, not even Mama Max.”
“Do you think King has told her?”
“With his lying ass? I doubt it.” The silence lengthened as each became absorbed in her own thoughts. Finally Vivian spoke.
“You know I’m here for you. Derrick and I are here for both of you.”
“It’s helping me a lot just to talk to you, girl. I know you’re here for me.” Several more moments of silence passed before either woman spoke again.
“What are you thinking?” Vivian finally asked gently, wiping her eyes.
“I’m thinking about me and King and our lives together. About how I’ve loved him so long and so completely that I don’t know where he ends and I begin. I’m trying to separate the ‘two becoming one’ into two again. How do I do that, Vivian? I was so sure God joined us together. How do I divorce him? How do I divorce myself? I don’t remember the Twyla before King! Where is she?” Tai was crying openly now.
“We’ll find her,” Vivian stated resolutely, with more confidence than she felt. “I’ll help you, and together—me, you and God—we’ll find her.”
…Getting ready to preach a revival when I need reviving the most
“Pastor, did you hear me?” Hope’s brow creased as she cocked her head to the side, sensing her pastor’s pain.
“Oh, uh, sorry, Hope. What were you saying?”
“I was saying that the concert’s all set, that we got the signed contract back from Righteous’s management. Charles and I are working with his management team to secure the other details and—Pastor? Are you all right?”
“What? Oh, sorry, Hope. Actually I do have a lot on my mind this morning.” King noticed the look of concern in Hope’s eyes and quickly added, “We’re leaving today for that revival in Cleveland and, uh, a lot of stuff has come up.”
“Oh, the revival at St. Stephens? Bishop Anderson’s church?”
King nodded.
“Is there anything I can do to help? I don’t have to be at work until this afternoon if there’s anything—”
“No, Hope, but thanks for asking. Listen, just give the rest of the details to Joseph on your way out. I’ve got some pressing things I need to handle right now.”
The quick dismissal was like a bee sting. She and Pastor King normally got along so well together, almost too well some members speculated. But God knew her heart. She got up quickly and quietly, knowing she should go, feeling she should stay. She hesitated for just a moment, and King looked up quickly, with just the hint of a scowl. That unlocked Hope’s feet from their spot on the floor, and she found her voice. “Well, I’ll, uh, I’ll be praying for you, Pastor,” she said quietly.
“Good, good,” King replied quietly before leaning back and turning his chair to face the wall. Hope’s dismissal was complete, and he barely heard the door as it clicked shut behind her.
King wiped his face a couple times with his hands, then drew a hard line across his brow with long, tapered fingers before they came to rest on the sides of his chin. He stroked his chin slowly, methodically, as the scenes from yesterday and this morning played in his head. He felt tired. Tired and old.
He laid his head back on the strong, wing chair and closed his eyes. Scenes of the earlier confrontation with Tai swam before his eyes. How did I get here? he asked himself over and over in his mind as if he didn’t already know the answer. What am I supposed to do? It seemed that no matter how he looked at the situation, all he saw was pain. Even though he wasn’t in love with Tai, he did love her as his companion of twenty years and the mother of his four children. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. She’d been a good wife over the years, loyal and loving. She was an excellent mother, a good daughter-in-law to his mother, Maxine. And she’d been trying so hard the past few months to make him happy, exercising, losing weight. Then why am I dogging her? King thought of the children then, Michael in college, Princess on her way. He thought of the twin’s faces, all innocence and trust. He sat up, swiveled around, placed his elbows on the desk and his head in his hands.
A family movie played out in his mind: Tai having their children, the children growing up. Birthdays and Thanksgiving dinners, mounds of presents in the living room at Christmas, colored eggs on Easter Sunday. Tai’s ever-present face in the front row of almost every church in which he’d graced the pulpit, silently encouraging, shining with pride. What was he doing?
Sex in the Sanctuary Page 11
