by Margaret Way
“Not a lot.” Laura settled a few cushions on the sofa, looked around for his approving nod. “Sarah has been too busy listening to me. I’ve met Kyall twice, when he’s called in to the house. What a splendid couple they make! Very obviously he’s deeply in love with Sarah, and she with him. But a few odd comments around the place have made me wonder if there’s some secret family business. Sarah keeps hinting I might hear something soon.”
“Well, then…” He shrugged, pushing a small bookcase against the wall. “It’s no secret Sarah doesn’t get on with Kyall’s grandmother, Ruth McQueen.”
“I gathered that. She’s a formidable lady?”
“That doesn’t say it.” His handsome mouth compressed. Ruth McQueen, matriarch of that powerful family had all but repelled him on their few encounters. In her seventies and still a striking-looking woman; it was more to do with her aura. He’d met people like Ruth McQueen in his other life. Ruthless people. People one didn’t cross with impunity.
“But Sarah will be part of the family?” Laura turned as she spoke, making a forlorn little gesture with her hands.
“Yes,” he agreed—like Laura, thinking of its implications. He let his eyes linger on her. He had to realize he was becoming too protective of her on some deep elemental level. Maybe it was her size. He towered over her. Maybe it was her inherent sensitivity, her vulnerability?
“Sarah did tell you she and Kyall have been bonded since childhood? Apparently it’s been quite a love story. Everyone in town knows about it. I expect you do too.”
“We haven’t really caught up. Sarah’s determined to help me.”
“Do what?”
“Find my feet, I suppose.” She sank onto the deep yellow sofa, colourful crushed velvet cushions piled all around her. “Sarah is such a strong person. I’m very wobbly compared to her.”
He shifted the coffee table a fraction, then took the armchair opposite her. His back was to the sunshine that streamed into the room. It danced around her in golden beams. “We’ve all got wobbly areas, Laura. I think Sarah, for all her inner strength, carries a few burdens. She’ll have them for some time while Ruth McQueen is around.”
“But in the end the most tremendous thing is she’ll have Kyall’s love and support. One only has to see them together to know their marriage will work.”
“And you’re very fearful yours won’t?”
“What do you mean?” Her heart suddenly pounded, though she did her best to hide her agitation.
“I thought that was clear,” he answered mildly, thoroughly aware of the change in her. “For whatever reasons you’re fleeing your own relationship. Obviously you don’t trust your boyfriend enough to marry him. He mustn’t provide you with a sense of security. Or you don’t love him enough. Do you?” The look he aimed at her was very direct.
Flustered, she looked away. “I thought I did. Once. He put so much into our courtship. Showered me with gifts.”
My God, wouldn’t that be easy? Showering this beautiful creature with gifts. “Well, he wasn’t getting a bad bargain,” he gently mocked.
“A beautiful, gifted wife in the making.”
“He didn’t make me feel that.”
“So why didn’t you confront him with it?” He frowned. “Why did you continue the relationship at all?”
She clasped her ringless hands together. “I can’t find the answers.”
“You’re very young, Laura. You’re only in the process of becoming the woman you’re going to be. Why do you think people make so many mistakes when they’re young? Living is all about the getting of wisdom.”
She took a quiet breath, nodded. “At least I’m beginning to see more clearly. I lost the protection of my father,” she added poignantly
“Protection?” His head went up and a glitter invaded his dark eyes.
“I haven’t been terribly clever with my life up to date, Evan. You’ve surmised that, I desperately needed good advice, but as it happened there was a lack of it. I’d like to be stronger, more able to defend myself, but it won’t happen overnight. I need time to change my world and my position in it. Most of my friends always were far more sophisticated than I. My friend Ellie used to have a little running joke about me being the Sleeping Beauty.”
“Evidently you haven’t found your prince?”
“Are there princes in this world?” All at once she knew there were. The woman this man loved would find a safe haven, a powerful benign presence. Solidity.
“My answer is yes, Laura. You told me you adored your father. Weren’t your parents happy?”
“Wonderfully happy,” she sighed. “My father was the kindest man in the world. He was marvellous.”
“Why can’t you talk to your mother?”
“She lives in New Zealand. She married a sheep farmer a few years after we lost Dad. She had one happy marriage. She wanted another. My mother can’t live without a man.”
“Wouldn’t most women want to be in a relationship?”
“Better to be on one’s own than unhappy.”
“So why endure a relationship that’s not working? What’s the worst thing about this boyfriend of yours? I don’t hear his name.”
“I can’t talk about him yet, Evan.” Even Colin’s name made her feel in insecure.
“Okay. But you’ve confided in Sarah? You need someone to talk to?”
“Sarah is another woman and she’s very understanding. I consider myself very lucky to have her for a friend.”
“How long have you known her?”
She’d have liked to say for ages, but she had to tell the truth. “A year, on and off.”
“And here I was thinking you’d known one another for ever.”
“Getting to know someone in a day isn’t all that impossible.” She knew she held his dark gaze longer than she should. “You think people are going to be one thing and they turn out to be quite another.”
“I assume you’re referring to me?”
She couldn’t say she was referring to her Jekyll and Hyde husband. She evaded the answer. “How did you get to be as tough as you are?” She couldn’t find the precise word, but there was nothing remotely soft about him. He was very much the man. The man of steel.
“Tough?” He sounded unconvinced.
“You carry that image. I don’t mean tough as in rough.” She coloured a little. “Certainly not. I mean able to meet challenges head-on. To be a resilient, functioning, strong individual who can handle whatever life throws at you.”
He laughed without humour, remembering how it was. “Laura, it was a big struggle. I have my moments of inner devastation.”
“But you carry on?” She couldn’t leave this question of personal inner strength alone. She carried so much self-disgust at the punishment she had taken during her short marriage.
He saw her eyes, beautiful, haunted. “Why are you so unhappy? It can’t be simply a fear of plunging into marriage with the wrong person?”
She pulled a sapphire blue cushion onto her lap. “Have you ever been in love, or felt or thought you were in love?”
His mouth quirked. “I figure at thirty-eight I must have been.”
“And the woman I resemble?”
The sombre expression was back in place. “You don’t resemble her at all. A figure-type—petite and slender. The way you wear your hair.” He wanted to reach over and pull her hair out of its loose knot, watch its silken slide around her romantic face.
“You were in love with her?”
“Questions, questions!”
“If you can ask them so can I.”
“I was in love with the woman I thought she was. She was never that person,” he said, his eyes disturbingly dark.
“I’m sorry.” She was afraid that woman had badly hurt him. “So, has it taken a long time for you to become involved with anyone else?”
His deep attractive voice was full of amusement. “I certainly don’t intend becoming involved with you, miss.”
“I know th
at.” Yet something in his eyes made her head whirl. “I’m not planning any involvements for a very long time. Maybe never. We’re two people who escaped out here to breathe.”
“Exactly.” His tone was calm.
“It’s extraordinary the way I feel free to talk to you.” By doing so she felt she was helping herself.
“What’s your boyfriend’s profession?” he surprised her by asking.
“He’s a doctor.” The words were uttered; too late to take them back.
“Am I hearing correctly? A doctor?” He frowned. “I would have thought a doctor would be an understanding person. Caring for people is what their calling is all about. For most of them it’s very important. I’ve known some heroic doctors in my time.”
They weren’t about inflicting cruelty and pain, Laura thought.
In front of his eyes her whole demeanour altered. “Do you doubt your ability to carry off the role of doctor’s wife?”
She gave a restless little shake of her head. “It could be I’m not fit to be a wife at all.”
“Stop putting yourself down. You shouldn’t do it.”
“Lots of things I shouldn’t be doing, Evan.” She sighed and tried to smile. “Like sitting here with you when we should be up working.”
“I can take care of the work.” He stood up, filling the small parlour with his sheer presence. “I can tell you one thing, Laura. You don’t need anyone in your life who remorselessly drains off all your self-confidence.”
“I’ll have to start thinking like you. I might take up judo or karate.”
“Power, kiddo? Is that what you’re hoping to achieve?” He laughed, looking down at her ethereal frame.
“If I were stronger I might be more in control,” she said, very seriously. “I think my image is much too soft and dreamy. It speaks of weakness.”
“Nonsense! I’d stick to your image, if I were you. It’s perfectly beautiful. Surely you couldn’t fail to know that?”
“Sarah is beautiful, but one senses immediately she’s strong. I so admire her.”
“Laura, my dear, you are simply too hard on yourself. Possibly you’ve allowed yourself to be brainwashed. Is the boyfriend a fitness freak?”
She grimaced a little. “Yes, but he doesn’t have a black belt.” Otherwise he might have killed me.
“I do,” he said casually. “I was always interested in the martial arts. I like the discipline, austerity, mastering difficult techniques and working on the concentration that’s needed. Overall it’s a great feeling of achievement. In my early days one of my workout partners was a young girl. I was terrified I would hurt her. She was tiny. Like you. By the end of the class I had nothing but respect for her. She was a whirlpool of energy. I know I left the class pretty sore.”
“Can you teach me?” Suddenly she was presented with an idea.
“I’d rather not.” He didn’t want to get too physically close to her for any number of reasons. Number one being his strong sexual attraction to her. He couldn’t do a damned thing about it. Little Miss Graham was way off-limits.
“That’s the first mean thing you’ve said.”
“Laura, I could scarcely bear to hurt you,” he groaned. Didn’t she know how she looked? So fragile, so graceful in her movements. It was the last thing he wanted but he felt a sharp stab of desire.
“May I remind you of your little sparring partner?”
“She’d long been in training,” he clipped off. “You might feel very differently if you were to go flying through the air. Falls can be very painful.”
“Then can you show me a few moves?” Her fear of Colin had been greatly compounded by his physical superiority. Would he have been so free with his hands had she been able to strike back?
He pressed a hand to his strong jawline. “I’ll think about it. Demons are in your head, Laura,” he told her ruefully. “You can vanquish them using mind control.”
“I’d feel better if you could show me a few defensive moves.”
He stared down at her, vaguely astonished. He couldn’t handle the thought of hurting her.
“You’d show a younger sister, wouldn’t you?” she challenged, green eyes sparkling. “Or your favourite female cousin?”
“Let me think about it, Laura,” he replied.
“I used to study ballet, you know,” she offered, as if that would help.
“That’s a hell of a start.”
“Ballet dancers are very strong and athletic. I was very good, but I had to stop when I was about fourteen. I didn’t have the time with my music.”
Her appearance was even at odds with her piano-playing, though he knew size could be deceptive. The one time they had shaken hands her fingers had been long, delicate, but they had to be strong.
“By the way, its no problem to get you access to the town’s grand piano,” he said, knowing how much a musician needed constant contact with their chosen instrument. “It was a gift from the McQueen family. No second-rate instrument. A Steinway.”
“Good grief, how generous.” She stood a foot away, petals of colour in her magnolia cheeks.
“Yes, indeed,” he agreed dryly. “Sing out when you’re ready. For now, let’s tackle the kitchen. I’ll help you unpack those boxes.”
“Evan, you’ve been so kind. I can finish up.”
“I’ll get things out of the boxes for you. You won’t want them in your way. And I’ll get them back to Zack. This is going to be quite pretty, actually.” He looked about. “A doll’s house for a French doll.”
“Who’s going to learn karate!” She struck a little pose, clean, balletic, extremely beautiful.
“I ask myself, how did I get myself into this?”
“Stop puzzling over it. Maybe it was meant to be. Can you shoot?”
“I hate guns,” he said harshly.
“Then you’re used to them. You know what they can do.”
“Young lady, there is no way I’m going to show you how to handle a rifle. It’s against the law.”
“Unless one has a licence. There are a lot of licences out here in the Outback.”
“Laura, what are you getting at?” She was leading the way to the kitchen but he found himself catching the point of her shoulder, turning her to him.
“I’m pretty sure a lot of women would feel safer if they had a gun.”
“I’m pretty sure a lot of lives could be lost that way as well. You don’t need any gun.”
“I don’t want one. I hate them too.”
“Please look me in the eye.”
“Yes, Evan.” She lifted her head.
“You can’t really believe your life’s in danger?”
“Of course it isn’t. Probably I was trying to shock you.”
“Believe me, you have.”
“Okay, I’m done.” She stared into the brilliant dark depths of his eyes, wishing desperately she had nothing to hide.
“Good.” Abruptly he moved, before he made the fatal mistake of taking her into his arms. “Let’s get cracking.”
He led her into the kitchen where several boxes were stacked. He knew they contained a dinner set, cutlery, pots and pans, electrical goods, a frypan, toaster, kettle, kitchen linen, glasses marked “Fragile”.
“Don’t lift that one,” he said, pointing downwards. “It’s too heavy.”
“You have to stop looking at me like I’m a piece of porcelain,” she said. “Not very complimentary to me.”
“But understandable,” he said dryly, allowing his eyes to move over her.
“Well, I’m not. You should hear me thunder out Chopin’s Revolutionary Etude.”
He was acutely aware of her slender body resting against the counter so near to him. The whiteness of her skin made her gleaming hair appear almost black. Her green eyes shimmered like jewels. There was no question the boyfriend was madly in love with her. He himself was staggered by the level of intimacy he had achieved with this troubled young woman.
“The spirit, no doubt, Laura. It�
�s an inner power true musicians have.”
The sound of his deep voice touched her clear through to her centre. It reverberated like a deep, deep purr, reminding her that the human voice was the greatest instrument of all.
For total strangers they’d had a great deal to say to each other. Ships that passed in the night? Brief encounters? Intuitively she understood that behind the complex exterior was a gallantry a woman could count on. After a year of brutal punishment it was like a marvellous healing balm.
CHAPTER FIVE
LAURA could feel the vibrancy in Sarah the minute she swept through the door. Sarah looked on top of the world, beautifully strong and womanly. She even moved as if beautiful music was going on in her head. Music she could dance to.
“Gosh, you look happy!” Laura could see Sarah was excited. Colour spread over her high cheekbones. Her dark eyes glittered.
Sarah turned to beam at her. “I’m like a new woman. Full of wonder and delight.”
“That’s lovely,” Laura’s voice was gentle. She was moved by such happiness. “How nice of you to find the time to call.”
Sarah dropped her shoulder bag onto an empty hook on the hall stand. “I wish I could have come sooner, but so much has been happening. You’ll be amazed. I’m still in a state of shock and euphoria.”
“So tell me,” Laura invited, quickly leading the way into the parlour.
“First I want to see what you’ve done here.” Sarah glanced around with genuine admiration. “You are a homemaker.” Laura had accomplished a great deal without obvious expense. She had used a light palette of colours and a mix of furnishings and had managed to make them harmonious. “You’ve made it very comfortable and attractive, Laura. I’m so pleased for you.”
“These are the chairs I told you about. A house-warming gift from Evan. Do you like them?” Laura inclined her head towards the front window, where two light-grained polished wood chairs flanked a small circular table.
