by Margaret Way
Nicole grimaced. “There is a certain prudish aspect to her. Apparently she’s quite fond of Karen Stirling.”
“Not a chance!” Shelley said, shaking her head. “Though I like Karen myself. She’ll have a hard time trying to land Drake. She’s been frantically in love with him for years.”
Nicole looked up to see Shelley looking closely at her. “Be that as it may, the differences between them are many,” she offered laconically. “Now, are you still keeping up your drawing?” she asked, shifting the subject away from Drake. It was all too new, too overwhelming. “You were always filling sketchbooks with wildflowers. They were beautiful, with great botanical accuracy. Do you still do that?”
Shelley sat back a little, smiling. “Not much time lately, with all the excitement of the wedding, but I’ll get back to it. What about your painting? You’re the one with the real gift. SoHo showings I heard. A glowing review in the New York Times. I want to see it. My work is just very pleasing.”
“Don’t put yourself down,” Nicole advised. “I’d like to catch up with what you’ve done. I wouldn’t have been in the fortunate position to have a showing, but for influential friends. Wonderful friends who treat me like family. There’s always a market for good flower paintings, Shell. They have enormous appeal. With me my painting is therapy. Dr. Rosendahl first suggested it. He died, you know. He was killed in a hit-and-run accident in Sydney.”
“When was this?” Shelley seemed appalled by the news.
“Maybe six months ago. I fully intend to get the full story.”
“Did the police find the culprit?”
Nicole shook her head. “Another one who got away.”
Shelley’s intuitive green eyes didn’t move from Nicole’s face. She reached out and touched her hand. “You never did accept your mother’s death was an accident.”
“I wasn’t the only one. Someone had a hand in it.”
“You can’t say that with certainty. You were a frightened child. I remember how traumatized you were for years and years.”
“No one found the coroner’s report satisfactory. Something very odd happened on that escarpment for them to hurtle down into Shadow Valley.”
“You’re determined to find out? That’s scary.” Shelley thought for a moment. “You don’t think there’s a connection with Dr. Rosendahl’s death, do you?”
Time for Nicole seemed to slow down. “All these years later? It seems unlikely there can be, unless he uncovered some new piece of evidence.”
“Didn’t Joel go to him for a time?” Shelley sent Nicole a quizzical look.
Nicole’s head snapped up. “What do you mean? I was the one who had the ongoing counseling, not Joel, though there was a time Dr. Rosendahl spoke in depth to the whole family. He had to. Joel was only sixteen when it happened.”
“I don’t mean then, Nic, I mean more recently. I take it you didn’t know…”
“How do you know, more to the point?” Nicole asked, greatly surprised.
“Joel let it slip talking to Brock. He wasn’t confiding in Brock or anything like that. They don’t have that kind of relationship. Apparently Joel got agitated about something and mentioned going to see Dr. Rosendahl. Brock’s very quick. He figured out Joel meant professionally. Afterward he told me.” Shelley’s voice grew anxious. “I hope this isn’t going to make a difference, Nic, but Joel hasn’t been invited to the wedding. He and Brock don’t get on at all. I guess that’s why Brock took a stand against inviting him.”
Nicole put her hands on the table. “What did Brock say exactly?”
Shelley gave a slight shake of her head. “Only that Joel had problems and was under a lot of strain. He had been for years. Brock believes that’s why Joel breaks out from time to time.”
“You mean acting up in town? Joel always did have a problem with his temper.” Nicole swept back a long curling strand of her hair.
“The only person I ever saw Joel interact with is you.” Shelley rearranged the salt and pepper shakers. “He must miss you dreadfully when you go away.”
Nicole’s eyes clouded with bewilderment. “Do you know, Shelley, I’ve never really thought about Joel’s affection for me. It was just there. You seem faintly troubled by it.’
Shelley flushed. “I have absolutely no business embarrassing you. All I’m saying is how much Joel is devoted to you.”
“Is that so unusual? We were reared together. He’s my first cousin. We were inseparable.”
“Of course. He talks about you such a lot. Quite a lot.” Shelley folded her hands.
“Did you discuss that with Brock?”
“Inasmuch as both of us regard you as our friend.” Shelley’s gaze was steady.
“And both of you truly dislike Joel?”
“Not me, Nikki.” Shelley caught Nicole’s hand and held it. “I don’t know him well. Does anyone know Joel well? But I do accept what Brock told me.”
“You think I need a word of warning?” Nicole asked quietly.
Shelley contemplated her friend. “I can’t know what’s in Joel’s mind, but I can say this to you. Friends are protective of one another. What are Joel’s feelings for you, really? Maybe you’re so close to him you don’t recognize them.”
Nicole gave Shelley a look of doubt. This was so strange. First Drake, now Shelley. “You’re saying that as if Joel might in some way harm me.”
“Oh, no, no! Why did I start out on this?” Shelley looked to the ceiling for an answer.
“It’s perfectly obvious why. You have concerns.”
Shelley’s flush deepened. “That sounds terrible. I never meant to imply—”
Nicole cut her off. “Something Brock said to you gave you a reason for speaking. I should tell you Joel brought me into town. He’s taking me home.”
“Does he know you’re meeting me?” Shelley raised anxious green eyes.
“Of course. He knows of our long-standing friendship. Gosh, we were kids together. He bears absolutely no ill will toward you, Shell.” As soon as she said it, Nicole realized she didn’t actually know.
“I’m glad.” Shelley gave a faint shudder. “I don’t want him to feel bad about not being invited to the wedding, but Brock was inflexible on that point.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Nicole advised. “There is a possibility Brock got that bit about Joel seeing Dr. Rosendahl wrong. He would have had to travel to Sydney. Dr. Rosendahl found time for me, but that was different. I was a child in deep trouble and Granddad paid for him to fly in and out of Eden. Seeing a psychiatrist wouldn’t be Joel’s way. In fact, given Joel’s opinion of shrinks—his word—I think it highly unlikely.”
“Who knows what strains he’s been under,” Shelley countered, glancing up as the waitress approached their table. “You can’t ask him.”
“Why not?” Nicole was wondering in what circumstances she could.
“He’ll conclude it was Brock who told you. Or more likely me.”
“And that would worry you?” Nicole studied her friend.
“Nicole, Joel may have many good points, but he does have an ungovernable temper when provoked.”
Nicole lowered her voice. “So who is he going to inflict it upon, you or me? I’m not in the least intimidated by my cousin.”
Shelley paused again, looking stressed. “I’m sorry, Nic, I wouldn’t worry you for the world, but in my opinion maybe you should be.”
“You’ve thought this through, haven’t you,” Nicole said, appraising her friend.
Shelley’s gaze was steady now. “It was a pretty hard decision to come here telling you things you wouldn’t want to hear—I’ve so been looking forward to seeing you, talking about happy things—but not telling smacks a little too much of dodging my obligation to my friend. Am I really telling you something you didn’t know, Nic?” The seriousness of Shelley’s expression lent her words special emphasis.
“About Joel?” Nicole gave her friend a curious little smile.
Shelley nodded.
<
br /> “The answer’s yes.”
IT WAS A LITTLE after two when both young women walked out into the sunlit street.
“You have to find the time to spend a day with me on Eden,” Nicole suggested. “It’s been so good to see you. Thank you so much for the wedding invitation and the photograph. I’ll treasure it. Say hello to Brock and your family for me.”
“I will. I hope I haven’t upset you, Nic,” Shelley said quietly, giving Nicole a hug. “I value our friendship.”
“Friends stick together,” Nicole said, noticing the lanky young man watching them from across the street, his black akubra tilted way down over his eyes.
Shelley followed the direction of her gaze. “That’s Joel now,” she said, her smiling face turning sober.
“If you don’t want to meet up with him, go now,” Nicole urged her softly.
Too late. Joel dodged a dusty four-wheel drive to join them on the sidewalk.
He moved close to Nicole, took her arm in a gesture that anyone would have interpreted as possessive. “Hi, Shelley Logan. How’s it goin’?”
“Fine, thank you, Joel.” Shelley gave him a pleasant smile.
“And how’s that handsome dog of a fiancé of yours?”
A little pause. “He’s well, Joel. Working hard.”
“Seems he doesn’t want me at your wedding?” Joel’s voice held challenge. “How about you?”
A longer pause while Shelley began to edge away a little. “We had to keep the numbers down, Joel. I hope you understand.”
“I bet you gave my beautiful Nikki here an invitation.” Joel shifted his gaze to his cousin.
“Of course I did,” Shelley answered in a different voice. Crisp and cool. “She’s my friend.”
“Now that is being candid.” Joel looked amused. “Obviously I’m not.”
“Can’t you leave this, Joel,” Nicole broke in, not knowing where it would end. Shelley Logan was no marshmallow. She had a temper. “Shelley and I have had a very enjoyable meeting. Don’t spoil things.”
“I didn’t know I was spoiling things,” Joel drawled, at the same time giving Shelley a look of open dislike. “I’d just like to know why Shelley and her goddamn fiancé found it necessary to leave me out. Just about everyone for miles around has been invited.”
“Maybe they thought they couldn’t count on your good behavior, Joel,” Nicole said sharply, sensing more than one passerby was looking at them.
“Why, sweetheart, of course. I didn’t consider that.” Joel turned his gaze on her, grinned.
Nicole spun on him. “Have you been drinking?”
Joel nodded briefly. “It’s not a crime to have a beer.”
“Because you know you’re flying home.”
“Stop fussin’, Nikki. I’m fine. Say goodbye to Shelley now. She’s borrowed you long enough.”
Nicole felt suddenly ashamed of him, as though what people were saying was true. Joel was unstable. “It’s been lovely, Shelley. We’ll be in touch.”
“I’ll keep a day free,” Shelley promised.
“Great!”
They exchanged another brief hug, while Joel, shifting his weight from foot to foot, looked on. “See you, Joel.” Shelley paused briefly to include him, despite his obvious hostility. Nicole noted the twisted smile on his face. She was glad Shelley had told her about Joel. She watched as Shelley turned and walked quickly away.
“Are you aware you upset her?” Nicole asked Joel as they walked to the corner of the main street. They needed a cab to take them to the airstrip.
“Who the hell cares!” Joel shrugged. “She and dear old Brock upset me. The big man now with all old Kingsley’s authority. Who would have thought the penniless little Logan kid could land a cattle baron?”
Nicole felt her indignation rise. “Brock is very lucky to have won Shelley’s hand. She’s a lovely person. Clever and brave.”
“Boo-hoo,” Joel jeered. “She’s a judgmental little bitch.”
Nicole turned to him in shock. “Why ever would you say that?”
“I can see it in her eyes.”
“You deliberately upset her, Joel. When you’re in a mood, it affects everyone. You shouldn’t drink. You’re one of those people who get aggressive. You went out of your way to offend her, and there was nothing I could do to stop you.”
“Look, dammit, I was angry. I could have gone to the wedding with you.”
“Is that what it’s all about?” Nicole said in wonderment. “You and Brock Tyson have never been friends. Why should you expect an invitation?”
“What did she tell you?” Joel’s good-looking face was stony.
“About what?”
“Don’t play games with me, Nikki.” He took her arm in a viselike grip.
Nicole was shaken and embarrassed. People out in the street were watching them. “Stop it,” she said coldly. “Let go of my arm and quit flinging yourself around.”
“If anyone tried to turn you against me, I’d kill them.” He released her arm but his voice remained angry.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Nicole said. “You have to learn to control your temper, Joel. People perceive you as a threat. You scare them.”
“You don’t ever have to be scared of me.” He gave her a tender look.
“I should darn well think not,” she responded tartly. “I could toss you out of Eden if I chose to.” Immediately as she said it she was ashamed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. You have as much right to be on Eden as I have. Only, Granddad left it to me.”
“Aunt Corrinne wanted me to go,” he said in a voice that seemed to come from a long distance. “Did you know that?”
“Go where?”
He grimaced painfully. “Anywhere. Away from you.”
On a reflex Nicole grabbed his arm. “She told you this?”
“She told Dad.”
A few people were waiting at the cabstand. No cabs as yet. Nicole moved to the side of the footpath, drawing him with her. “Your father?” she said incredulously. “Why wouldn’t she tell her sister? And why was she troubled?”
He touched her cheek gently. “Nikki, sometimes you are such an idiot.”
She stared at him, shaking her head. “Please explain that.”
His expression was drawn. “It’s too hard. Far too hard. The way she carried on, Dad said anyone would have thought I was going to molest you.”
“But that’s horrible!” She was aghast. The anger left her.
“I thought so, too. I wouldn’t hurt a hair on your head.”
“I know you wouldn’t, Joel.” Her eyes connected with his. “What a burden for you to carry. It makes me so sad. Whatever could you have done to make my mother think like that?”
“She didn’t want us to be happy.” His voice was hard and emphatic.
“I refuse to believe that,” Nicole said, defending her mother. “We were children together. What does Siggy say?”
“She’s always refused to discuss it. She thinks my affection for you is a crashing bore.”
Nicole snorted. “It practically is. Uncle Alan, what does he say?”
Joel took a deep audible breath. “He never stood a chance with Corrinne.”
“What do you mean?”
“Ah, Nikki, this is too much.” He looked cornered. “I know it was different for you. You were a child. I was sixteen.”
“You’re confusing me terribly, Joel.” Nicole felt truly distressed now. She gripped Joel’s arm and willed him to continue.
“Hell, it was like Corrinne was a goddess,” he said at last. “Dad used to be so happy if she so much as even noticed him or spared him a word.”
Her hand fell to her side. “She never would have noticed him except as Siggy’s husband, her brother-in-law.”
There was a faint undertone of contempt in Joel’s voice. “So relationships define the feelings one is supposed to have?”
Nicole was jolted by Joel’s words. “I’m saying there are taboos, surely. Societal constraints
, if you like.”
“Anyone can fantasize in private,” Joel answered. “And falling in love is beyond our control.”
Nicole had to steel herself. “Are you saying your father was in love with my mother, his sister-in-law?”
“I’m not saying that at all.” Joel turned his head as though checking on the arrival of the few town cabs. “I’m saying he permitted himself to fantasize about her. Dad has an internal life none of us knows much about. I can’t think he was ever in love with Mum. He married her for the money. His greatest aspiration in life had to be to marry a rich woman. He certainly didn’t want to support himself. There were a lot of complicated relationships on Eden, Nikki. You were too young to see them. Corrinne was the catalyst. Certain women are like that. Beautiful, fascinating. They make it difficult for men around them to stay out of their range. Poor old Mum! She had a rotten deal. Bloody plain with a sister that looked like a film star.”
The insult to her aunt hit Nicole hard. “Siggy isn’t plain at all. She has far more to her. When she fixes herself up, she looks quite distinguished. The thing with Siggy is she doesn’t usually bother.”
“Why would you with a sister like Corrinne?” Joel asked bitterly. “No one would have noticed Mum if she did work her butt off to look good.”
“There is such a thing as intelligence,” Nicole pointed out severely. “Humor, understanding, loyalty.”
“Sure, but all in all, women are valued for their desirability. How can you doubt it? Do you think McClelland would have invited you over if you didn’t fit into that category? Beautiful and fascinating. As far as I can see it’s a view women hold of themselves, anyway. Once they lose their looks, they know they’re out of the race.”
Nicole, the feminist, was outraged. “Maybe they should stop being motivated by what men want.”
He laughed into her face. “Sex is at the core of everything, Nikki. Do you think your mother’s life would have ended as it did if she hadn’t been such a danger to the men around her?”
“How did it end?” Nicole asked sharply. “That’s what I want to know.”
