Torias was finally able to let the preflight euphoria wash over him ... knowing that anything was possible. He always felt this way before a test flight. It was even better than going into battle. The transwarp flight would give him the chance to do something remarkable, something that would change people’s lives.
The anticipation made him heady as he caressed Nilani, wanting to touch every part of her. Standing on the threshold of infinite speed was a powerful stimulant, and making love to Nilani took him right over the edge of his senses.
Torias woke early the next morning, feeling fresh and wide awake the moment his eyes opened. He carefully slid out of bed without disturbing Nilani. Her beautiful curves were tempting under the flimsy sheet, but he restrained himself from waking her.
In the fresher, his flight suit was waiting. Torias quickly washed up and dressed. His spots were dark, like his hair, and were stark against his pale skin. Pausing for a moment, he stared at his black eyes. “Too intense” one young woman had called him, just before he had entered the Symbiosis Institute. Well, that intensity had gotten him everything he wanted, including Nilani and the transwarp flight test.
Torias walked softly through the bedroom. He knew the comm would go off in a few minutes to wake Nilani, but he wanted to slip away before that. He wanted to remember her like she was last night, warm and loving, not nervous and analytical like she would be this morning.
At the doorway, he looked back. Her hair spread against the pillow, the fiery strands glowing in the dim light of the bedroom. One hand was palm-up on the bed, and he wanted to kiss it. Instead he whispered softly, “I love you.”
He knew she would have too much to do in the science lab before and during the test to worry. By the time he got back, she would no longer be angry at him for running off without a proper good-bye.
Before Torias left their quarters, he found her tricorder where she had dropped it last night. He propped it up on the table next to the door where she would see it. She was always misplacing her tricorder—his sweet absent-minded professor.
During the prelaunch preparations, Torias went over the entire shuttle with a hand-scanner. He was looking for micro-fractures that could react adversely to the slightest velocity differential in the hull. But the Infinity had been reinforced and was sealed tight. Even if there was unusual stress on the hull, the extra fusion generator would compensate by increasing the structural integrity field.
Torias slid out from under the starboard nacelle and was brushing off his hands when Captain Styles rounded the shuttlecraft. A group of a dozen or more Starfleet officers were following him.
“There you are, my boy,” Styles said heartily. “Ready for the big flight?”
“Aye, aye, Captain,” Torias said evenly.
As they came closer, Captain Styles gestured to a tall dark gentleman wearing an admiral’s placard and collar. “Torias Dax, this is Admiral Morrow, Chief of Starfleet Command. Admiral, this is the young man I’ve been telling you about.”
“Pleased to meet you.” Admiral Morrow shook Torias’s hand in the human ritual greeting. His thick black mustache almost hid his smile, and a dusting of gray lightened his short curling black hair. “Starfleet is glad to have this opportunity to work so closely with Trill in this bold undertaking.”
“Thank you.” Torias relied on past-host memories of diplomatic protocol. “Trill is proud to be a part of this historic event with the Federation.”
Frown lines appeared between the Admiral’s eyes. “As long as the shuttle is ready.”
“The Infinity is ready,” Torias confirmed.
But he tensed when the admiral waved a young woman out of the knot of Starfleet assistants who were politely standing back. “Cadet Saavik has a suggestion. Cadet?”
Saavik came forward to give her report. “I believe I have discovered a way to prevent the fluctuations you experienced in the warp frequency. It would require an alteration in the computer software program to synchronize the navigational constant with the transwarp field of the Infinity.”
Captain Styles seemed irritated. “It would take days to reprogram the navigational computer, Cadet. Then another week of simulator runs before flight testing could take place.”
“But if it would be better to wait,” Morrow cautioned, “then let’s take our time. This is an important experiment, and I wouldn’t like anything to go wrong.”
Admiral Morrow glanced at the wall of windows lining the upper hangar deck. Torias followed his gaze and for the first time realized the observation lounge was filled with people. Many of them were wearing the formal gold-braided Starfleet uniform. This was turning into quite the event.
Torias had already noticed the group of Starfleet pilots gathered to one side of the bay, restricted from getting any closer to the test shuttle. But their envious expressions spoke clearly—they all wanted a crack at the Infinity. Perhaps Morrow was also seeing the advantages to having a Starfleet pilot be the first to cross the transwarp threshold.
Torias firmly stilled his panic. He wasn’t going to let the test flight slip away from him now. He asked Saavik, “Did you show the scientists your calculations?”
“Yes, they agreed the alterations may correct the problem.”
“They didn’t have much time to examine your theory, did they?” When she shook her head, he said thoughtfully, “Then it must be an extension of the work they were doing, rather than a new approach.”
She raised one brow slightly. “That is correct.”
Torias turned to Admiral Morrow. “Cadet Saavik has merely suggested a refinement in our current navigational procedure. However, the project scientists have already agreed that the fluctuations are within an acceptable margin of error. I’m sure we’ll discover additional areas of refinement during this flight test.”
“Quite right!” Captain Styles agreed. “The transwarp design will undoubtedly be improved as we put the Infinity through her paces.”
“What’s the level of risk in testing the shuttle with its current navigational program?” Morrow asked Torias.
“Minimal,” Torias replied. “With the use of the ETS, I would say the risk is closer to nonexistent.”
“Ah, yes,” Captain Styles said. “The emergency transporter suit. An incredible machine. Would you like to see it, Admiral?”
Captain Styles led Admiral Morrow toward the suit where it hung on the rack, prepared for Torias to put on prior to departure. Torias had made several tests of the emergency transporter suit, and each time he had been examined and cleared by Dr. Dareel, the Trill doctor in residence at the Trill Embassy on Earth. Torias had also been examined by Dr. Christine Chapel of Starfleet Medical, but the Federation doctors had been unable to differentiate the symbiont from his Trill anatomy. Trill continued to be committed to a controversial policy of nondisclosure when it came to the symbionts, but Torias and Nilani had dutifully complied.
While the rest of the crowd of Starfleet observers joined Admiral Morrow around the suit, Saavik stayed behind. “As I indicated,” she told Torias, “I do not believe you understand the implications of my research. The subspace torque from the differential velocity could destroy the shuttle.”
“She’s a strong ship.” Torias patted the tritanium hull of Infinity. He didn’t blame Saavik for her insistence. She was just an eager kid trying to impress her superiors.
“I do not understand your desire to continue with the flight test,” Saavik said.
“You’re a navigator, not a test pilot,” Torias reminded her. “Most people would delay forever rather than take a chance with the unknown.”
Saavik shook her head slightly, looking perplexed.
“Come Saavik!” Captain Styles ordered from across the hangar deck. “You can discuss your theories later. Captain Dax has a flight test to complete.”
Saavik glanced down, absorbing the public rebuff without a murmur. Then she told Torias, “I wish you well.”
“Thank you, Saavik.” Torias winked at her. �
�You’ll see that I’m right.”
Getting into the emergency transporter suit took some time, but finally Torias was ready in the pilot’s seat of the Infinity. His fingers were left free of the mesh suit, and he acknowledged the final cross-checks with a few taps on the panels.
Then he activated the viewscreen, clearing the pale blue Federation symbol of a starfield supported by laurels. He opened a channel to the transwarp science lab on board the Excelsior.
Nilani answered, looking up at the screen. “You’re ready, my love?” she asked.
“I’m waiting for the go-ahead.” He thought it was just like her not to mention the way he had left this morning. “I’ll be back soon.”
Nilani glanced over her shoulder to make sure no one was listening. “Warp 10 might be just fast enough.”
Torias smiled into her eyes, remembering last night. They both laughed as they signed off. He couldn’t wait to celebrate with her.
He switched to the command channel. “Shuttlecraft Infinity prepared for launch.”
The hangar deck had been cleared except for the people filling the observation lounge along the upper level.
“Depressurizing hangar deck,” Captain Styles replied. He was standing at the command console in the launching control room. “Infinity, you are cleared for launch.”
The lights flashed red in the bay to warn any lingerers that the atmosphere was being removed. Torias settled his helmet one last time as the tractor beam conveyed him out of the Excelsior’s hangar deck. He could see arms waving in the observation lounge.
Engaging thrusters, he took over control of the Infinity. He maneuvered through the inside of the enormous Spacedock station, a curved enclosure containing a number of Starfleet vessels.
As the Infinity moved away from the starships, Torias could see the interior walls of the station lined by observation windows. Some were several levels high, and they also were filled with people waving at him.
The great square docking doors were opening, revealing space beyond. The shuttle passed through, then lifted over the spindle-shaped station, clearing the series of graceful domes and spires that capped the top.
As the Infinity pulled away from the station, the brilliant blue and white Earth dominated the viewscreen. At a distance of ten-thousand meters, the station looked small against the planet below.
“Infinity is clear of the docking station,” Torias reported.
“Bon voyage, Infinity,” Captain Styles said over the comm.
Torias engaged impulse engines and the Infinity shot away at one-quarter impulse.
For a moment Torias felt as if he were back in the simulator. The two cockpits were identical. But the subtle movements of the genuine shuttle couldn’t be imitated. His breath came shorter as his body reacted to the experience of hurtling through space. Some people couldn’t tolerate space, but Torias had loved it from his first interplanetary voyage when he was a boy.
“Increasing speed to one-half impulse,” Torias reported, trying not to think of all the people listening back at the station.
The velocity indicator climbed to three-quarters, then reached full impulse speed.
“Infinity, you are cleared for transwarp velocity,” Captain Styles informed him.
“Engaging transwarp engines,” Torias confirmed.
The shuttle began to shake and the interior lights dimmed. The glow from the screen brightened as the stars blurred into streaks. Torias was pushed back into his seat as the transwarp drive leapt beyond warp speeds.
“Vector’s drifting!” he called, noticing the navigational shift. “I’m stabilizing the field symmetry.”
The vector wavered then held steady. He kept a close watch on the warp frequency, but it, too, held steady. Everything was go.
“Velocity is off the scale. I’m approaching the threshold.”
Torias could feel it ... as if he was stretching out and slowing down. His hand moved slower as he adjusted the flow regulator to the dilithium crystals. The warp frequency fluctuated—
Suddenly the universe was still. And for an instant, Torias was everywhere.
He was not only in the pilot’s seat of the Infinity, he was also on the bridge of the Excelsior, and on the observation deck with all the dignitaries. He could see Saavik bite her lip in an uncharacteristic show of concern. He could see the blood vessels quivering on the surface of her eye. ...
But somehow Torias was also back on Trill, in the farthest depths of the symbiont pools. He was flying over the wind-blown icy cliffs of Tenara, and standing in the purple waters of the southern ocean with the sun beating down on his head. ...
He was in places too numerous to count, with experiences flashing through him; from a deep space freighter near a supernova to a slow-moving microbe on an inductor chip. He could hear the voices and cries of trillions of beings merging into one vast booming, living mass. He could see everything at once. He knew everything. He realized he could be anywhere he wanted to be.
At the same time he was standing next to Nilani in the science lab where it was perfectly silent. She was radiant, her hair and skin aglow. He felt himself reach out to touch her face, feeling his fingers brush aside individual atoms as they parted the air, feeling everything. ...
Nilani’s eyes were fixed on the viewscreen as the Infinity exploded. She tried to tell herself the flare was simply a result of crossing the warp 10 threshold. She couldn’t believe her eyes.
But everyone’s reaction was unmistakable. Lt. Lahra cried out and covered her mouth with both hands.
“Transporter room?” Captain Styles called through the open channel from the hangar deck. The hush seemed too heavy to bear.
“We have a medical emergency!” the transporter room responded. “Something’s wrong. He’s having trouble breathing—”
The communication was cut, maybe by someone who didn’t want the news going over an open channel. But Nilani was already running to the turbolift.
She could hear people talking to her but she didn’t know what they were saying. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but finding Torias.
The transporter room was crowded but the others parted to let her through. Dr. Chapel was scanning Torias, and she glanced up at Nilani, her expression stark. “The shuttle was breaking apart when he transported. He’s suffered massive internal injuries. I’ll have to operate.”
Nilani knelt down next to Torias, her heart clenching at the way his body was contorted. He looked bad, very bad. She might have stared at him forever, but her years of training spoke for her. “Stasis,” she managed to say. “He must be put in stasis until our doctors can get to him.”
Dr. Chapel hesitated, but medical protocols involving Trills were strict. “I’ll transport him directly into a stasis chamber,” she agreed.
As Torias dematerialized, Nilani reached out to touch him. She couldn’t bear the agony on his face. Then he was gone.
“The Infinity didn’t pass the warp 10 threshold,” someone said regretfully.
It was Saavik. The cadet helped her to stand up. Nilani wasn’t sure how Saavik had gotten there, but she was grateful to be able to cling to someone familiar.
“I am sorry,” Saavik said. “I attempted to warn Captain Dax that a hazardous subspace torque could occur.”
“He convinced us it would work,” Nilani said, dazed.
She saw faces everywhere, watching her, their eyes sympathetic. It was too much.
“Perhaps I failed to communicate my concerns properly,” Saavik said.
Nilani realized that Saavik was upset, as upset as Vulcans ever got. She also realized there would be terrible consequences for everyone involved. But right now, she couldn’t think.
“Please take me to the sickbay,” Nilani told her. “I want to be with Torias.”
Nilani reached the stasis chamber not long before Dr. Dareel transported up from the Trill Embassy in Nagano. While the doctor examined Torias through the stasis field, Nilani stayed nearby. She couldn’t touch Toria
s while he was in stasis, and that bothered her.
She didn’t want to believe it, but she could read the soft pings on the monitors as well as the medical technicians. There was nothing they could do to save Torias. His body lived while he was in stasis, but there was no brain activity.
Soon the Trill diplomatic ferry arrived with its appropriately equipped medical lab, where Dr. Dareel could perform the delicate operation to remove the still-living symbiont from its host. That was the important thing, to save the symbiont with its precious memories. Everyone on board was congratulating Nilani for her quick thinking. Stasis had saved Dax.
Once the symbiont was removed, Nilani was allowed to be with Torias in the operating room as his lifesigns faded. No one watched her cry because no one was interested in the empty host ... the flesh she yearned for.
She couldn’t stop touching him to feel his fading warmth, to smell his skin. She couldn’t face the long years ahead, knowing how deeply she loved him, knowing how much he loved her. She couldn’t imagine what life would be like alone, with everything they had planned and dreamed impossible now. Gone in a heartbeat.
As the doctor carried away the symbiont, Nilani was alone with Torias at last. She pressed his hand against her cheek, touching it against the spot that still tingled ever since that final, terrible moment in the science lab ... and she knew that moment would define the rest of her lives.
JORAN
“I’ve been ignored far too long.”
—Joran Dax
“Field of Fire”
S. D. Perry
“Allegro Ouroboros in D Minor” is S. D. Perry’s second contribution to The Lives of Dax, following “Sins of the Mother.” She plans to return to the Star Trek universe soon.
Robert Simpson
Robert Simpson made his first professional sale at age sixteen and in the last eighteen years has been an agent, a writer, and an editor who has worked with hundreds of authors including the “ABC” of science fiction—Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury, and Arthur C. Clarke. A former editor for Twilight Zone magazine, he has also written and edited novels, websites, CD-ROMs, comics, magazines, and other projects for Lucasfilm, Paramount Pictures, HarperCollins, Topps Publishing, DC Comics, Nickelodeon, Bantam Books, Pocket Books, Golden Books, Scott Rudin Prods., Marvel Comics, The United Nations/World Health Organization, and the New York chapter of The National Epilepsy Foundation. A fan of true crime stories, he also served for a brief time as the reprint editor on the classic book of murder and obsession Helter Skelter. He lives in New York.
STAR TREK: DS9 - The Lives of Dax Page 18
