by Heath Pfaff
A shiver of horror ran through Xandrith. Was Kassa still inside that thing? Did she know what it had made her do? What kind of agony would that put her in? A psychotic impulse to jump into the room and run for Kassa swept through Xan. She had the knife and he needed to get that back. He could take her with him when he escaped. Could any of that happen?
Those knights would bring the full force of their power down on him if he broke into that room, and Kassa, the thing that was wearing Kassa, wasn’t just going to go with him when he came for her. It had already tried to kill him once. Xandrith didn’t doubt that it would be more thorough next time. What hope did that leave him? Seeing her again, knowing that she was so close, was worse than having a dagger plunged into his chest.
What was more, he’d just learned that the trolls had a plan to break through the wall. The Unth needed to know, and Haley was at risk since she was probably imprisoned in the wall. If Xandrith did something stupid now the attack would come upon them unprepared and everything would be lost. He had to get back beneath the wall and warn the Unth what was coming. He had to abandon Kassa to the darkness, again. He closed his eyes, fighting back the turmoil that burned within him.
Whispering voices swirled around Xandrith, a chorus of the dead taunting him from beyond the grave.
“You won’t even try to save her when she gave everything for you?” Leahn.
“Do you care about anyone at all?” Crow.
“You’re trying to save everyone, but you can’t even save one girl. You’re pathetic.” Tilda.
“She’s right there, but you aren’t going to do anything. It’s just like how you didn’t do anything for me.” Raina, the girl from the carriage on the way to the Forge.
“You’re a murderer, Xandrith. That’s all you’ll ever be. You kill everything you touch.” Tibsenth, the keeper of the secret library.
“Give up. You might as well give up. You can’t save anyone.” Johndin.
Those voices were joined by others, hundreds from Xan’s past, victims he’d taken the lives of, and people he’d watched die during the course of his life. Xandrith’s entire legacy of death and murder had come to pay him a visit. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the wave of abuse, but it was coming from inside his head. He had nowhere to run from the demons that haunted him.
He wasn’t sure how long he lay in the dirt with hands gripped to the sides of his head, trying to block out the horrors of his past. When they finally faded he had rolled out into the open, a long way from the tent where he’d been listening. Panic set in fast, and he immediately leapt to his feet and dove for cover. No one had seen him, or if they had they hadn’t raised an alarm. His heart was hammering in his chest, and he felt defeated, beaten worse than he’d ever been in his life. Still, he had to go on. He had to return to the Unth, to Haley. He needed to warn them.
He couldn’t risk running through the horde of trolls. Most of them were sleeping the remaining daylight hours away, and if he went charging through the crowd he would draw attention immediately. He moved at a quick clip with long strides, sticking to the places where the crowds were least oppressive. Even though he did his best to remain unnoticed, eyes followed his progress. No one had challenged him to that point, but many had seen his passing. Maybe they would assume he was delivering a message or running an errand for those in charge.
By the time Xandrith was halfway back to the cave, night was climbing into the sky and vanquishing the sun. The trolls were stirring, and Xan could tell something was set to happen. Platoons were starting to form up. The trolls were coming to order, and there was something more frightening about that than the normal chaos with which they existed. It was a testament to the power of their god that he could bring order to the chaos that was troll society. It was clear that without their god, the trolls would have remained beneath the surface of the world until the end of time. Their ambition and hate was tempered by their own self destructive nature, but the god-thing had changed that. It had focused the troll hate into a terrible weapon, and it was winning.
A massive hand snagged Xan by the shoulder, stopping him in his tracks and nearly sending him tumbling to the ground. “You, what are you doing? All troops to their places.” The troll snarled at Xandrith.
Xandrith didn’t dare struggle to break the grip holding him in place. He didn’t want to agitate his captor any further. “Order, I’ve a message to deliver.” Xandrith growled. The troll was looking at him closely, trying to peer into his hood. Xan kept his head down.
“Let me see the message.” The troll demanded and held out a hand, others were now watching the spectacle, eager to see if it would result in violence.
“For command only.” Xandrith answered quickly.
“Who do you think I am?!” The troll shouted, and Xandrith looked up enough to see that this troll was wearing a set of arm with dark blue stripes on his breastplate. Xandrith didn’t know what that meant exactly, but it wasn’t what most of the others were wearing. “Give me the message!” He squeezed tighter and Xandrith winced. It was his bad shoulder. He could feel the damaged artificial pieces cutting the inside of his shoulder muscle as the pressure increased.
“Shamans!” Xandrith shouted, remembering what he’d overheard, and immediately his shoulder was released. The assassin staggered as he tried to regain his footing. Pain rocketed through his body.
“If you had orders for the Shamans you should have said so immediately! Get out of here!” The commander yelled, raising a fist in threat.
Xan turned and this time he ran. Activity in the camp was picking up, and Xan wasn’t taking any more chances. Some few watched him go, but none attempted to stop him this time. His leg was throbbing almost worse than his shoulder. By the time he reached the rock below which his cave was hidden he was limping with every step. The trolls weren’t watching him anymore. They were forming, commanders taking charge and organizing platoons. The entire army was mobilizing. Xandrith ducked behind the supplies, checking to make sure no one could see him.
At that point he could have been screaming at the top of his lungs and on fire and the trolls wouldn’t have been paying attention. Xan ducked through the opening under the rock again, squeezing just barely through. He made it into the tunnel and worked his way back to the crystal wall. It was sealed and there was no one there.
Xandrith hammered a fist against the barrier. He wasn’t going to call out. He didn’t want to bring any outside attention to the cave, but he did want to catch the attention of whoever was supposed to be waiting for him. Time was running out. He paced the small space of the cave, each step a practice in agony, but he couldn’t make himself sit still. He felt like he was being chased, like he should be running for his life.
The walls shifted and Xandrith could see a figure moving through the glass-like surface. In a moment one of the Unth emerged, looking as calm and indifferent as ever. His impassive stare fueled a surge of anger in Xan that he had to bite back with an incredible effort.
“The trolls are coming. They’ve come up with a way to bring down the wall.” Xandrith explained quickly. “We need to get back and warn your people.”
The Unth didn’t respond, but he turned back to the wall. “Follow closely.” He commanded, and then stepped into the crystal. Xandrith took a deep breath and dove in after him. The experience was no more pleasant than it had been the first time he’d passed through the crystal, but on this trip he made sure to stay as close to the back of the Unth in front of him as possible. He had no desire to get stuck in the wall.
In short order they emerged from the wall. “I need to talk to your people. They need to know what’s happening.”
The Unth nodded once. “I will show you to your room, and then we will come to speak with you shortly.”
“There isn’t time for that! The trolls are already forming up for an assault. Surely you can see that for yourself. We need to act quickly. We need to figure out what we’re going to do when the wall comes down!” Xandrith was al
most shouting.
“I will show you to your room, and then we will come to speak with you shortly.” The Unth repeated himself and gestured for Xan to follow him.
“Damn it, are you even listening?!” Xandrith was yelling now. “The trolls are coming. Their shamans have a way to take down the wall, and their entire army is about to march!”
The Unth started walking, heading back for Xan’s room. Xandrith let out a long line of curses and followed him. He needed to find Haley anyway. The wall was going to fall, and he wanted to be sure she was with him when things got exciting. Maybe they could run. How far could they get before the trolls arrived?
They reached the room that Xan and Haley were being kept in quickly enough, and the Unth opened the door. Haley was on her feet as soon as the door opened, running towards Xandrith with outstretched arms. She grabbed a hold of him and squeezed tightly as he stepped into the door. The assassin put an arm around her and was turning to tell the guard not to shut the door when the door shut at his back and locked in place.
“Shit!” Xan cursed.
“What’s wrong?” Haley asked, concern in her voice.
Xandrith sighed in frustration and limped to the bed to sit down. “The trolls have found a way to break the wall. Their shamans have some sort of magic that’s going to take down these defenses. We need to get out of here as soon as we can.”
Haley put a hand on Xan’s face. “You’re feverish, and you’re limping badly. Did they hurt you?” Her voice got sharp, angry as she finished her question.
Xandrith shook his head. “I had to run back. My leg isn’t what it used to be.”
“Did you find the knife and the god-thing?” Haley asked, eager for information.
“I found the knife.” Xandrith said, his voice heavy with emotion. “Haley, Kassa has the knife. She’s with the army.”
“Kassa ...” Haley sounded shocked. “It makes sense, but I never thought about it.”
“Neither did I. I didn’t get the knife from her, but I know she has it now. There wasn’t any chance for me to steal it. The security was surprisingly well organized. I didn’t see the god-thing, but it was near where I was. It’s using Kassa as a vessel. It’s commanding the other bonesteel wielders with her.” Xandrith shook his head, trying to dispel the heartache he felt.
“Are you alright?” Haley asked, apparently noticing that Xan had gone pale.
Xan shook his head. “No, I’m not. I’m having trouble keeping it together. I almost lost myself twice out there.” He waved in the direction of the horde. “I’m not sure I can do everything I need to do.”
Xan grabbed Haley tightly by her arm and pulled off her fox mask. “Haley, you have to promise me that if I lose it, and I can’t keep myself in check, you’ll get yourself as far away from this place as you can. You have to just run and get away from all of this mess.”
Haley was shaking her head even before he’d finished. “No, Xandrith, I can’t do that. I can’t leave you behind.”
“You can!” Xandrith’s voice rose, and he could see the fright he triggered in Haley. He forced himself to speak more calmly. “You have to. I can’t lose anyone else I care about. They all hate me, Haley ... the ones I killed, the ones I failed, they all hate me.”
Concern flooded Haley’s face. “The dead don’t hold grudges. They don’t hate you, and you haven’t failed anyone. You’ve fought with everything you had this entire time. I don’t know anyone who could do what you’ve done and survive. You’re amazing, Xan.”
Xandrith shook his head. “Whether they hold grudges or not, I need you to promise me that you’ll run if things start to go bad. Promise me, Haley, that you’ll run and you won’t even think of turning back.”
Haley shook her head, tears coming to her eyes. “I won’t promise you that. I can’t.”
Xandrith squeezed Haley’s arm. “You will, or I’ll ask the Unth to take you away from here and lock you someplace safe until this is all over.”
“You wouldn’t do that to me.” Haley replied, shocked that Xan would make such a threat. Apparently she didn’t know him as well as she thought she did.
“I will.” He told her. “I will and I won’t regret it for a moment. It will be the nicest thing I’ve done for anyone in a long time.”
Haley’s bottom lip quivered. “I ... promise.”
Xan sighed and laid back on the mattress. “Thank you.” He said, and then again quietly. “Thank you.”
The door to their room unlocked and opened. Xandrith pushed himself up from the bed and got back to his feet despite the pain that caused him. He wasn’t going to talk to the Unth from a sitting position. They already barely listened to him.
“The trolls are coming. They’re going to breach this wall and we need to decide what we’re going to do when that happens.” Xandrith stated quickly, eager to get to the point.
“The trolls have made multiple attempts to breach the wall, and none of them have been effective yet.” One of the Unth answered quickly. “Did you locate the weapon you were searching for?”
“I’ve discovered where it is, but I wasn’t able to retrieve it.” Xan answered, but he wasn’t done with the wall conversation. “This next attempt at the wall is going to be successful. That wall will come down, and the trolls will march through here killing everyone in their way. They are mobilizing their entire army this time, not just a few platoons to test your defenses.”
“We have seen the trolls gathering their numbers, but it is unlikely that they will do any better than they have up to this point.” Again, the Unth didn’t seem the least bit concerned. Xandrith wished he could share their confidence.
“They are assembling their shamans. They plan on bringing a great deal of magic to bear against the wall, and I think they know how to take down the crystal. Remember, their god-thing knows about this source of magic. He has used it before. If anyone knows how to break this fortresses’ back, it’s him.”
The Unth exchanged looks. One of them stepped forward. “From outside the wall, there is no way to break the crystal. It is impenetrable.”
“You’re willing to gamble everything you have here on that fact?” Xandrith pressed.
“Even were the wall to break, we will hold the trolls at this line.” Another of the Unth spoke.
“I believe that your people are incredibly powerful.” Xan was already shaking his head. “But there are a hundred thousand trolls beyond that wall, and they are being led by a thing with unbelievable power. It’s not even at a fraction of the power it will have if it gets to the Wellspring, but it’s already dangerous. We are not going to be able to hold them off when the wall falls.”
“Should the wall fall, there will be no other options.” The Unth insisted.
Xandrith thought for a moment, his mind racing through the possibilities. He couldn’t see one that ended with any of them surviving this mess. If they all ran the world was doomed to destruction, and if they stayed and fought they’d be destroyed when the trolls fell upon them. Running at least gave them a chance to survive for a time. They didn’t know how the god-thing would end the world. Maybe the process would take enough time that Xandrith and Haley could live out what remained of their lives. They could find a place somewhere far away and ignore the fact that the world was ending around them.
“Fine,” Xandrith said with a weary shrug. “You can do what you will, but I want you to let Haley and I leave this place. We’re not staying to die with the rest of you.”
The Unth began to move back towards the entrance to the room. They didn’t reply. When the final member of their small group stepped through, he pulled the door shut with audible click of the lock. Xandrith stared at the closed door, anger burning up in the pit of his stomach.
“That could have gone better.” He said quietly, his normal sharp wit dampened by his sense of impending doom. He was finding it increasingly difficult to keep his false smile plastered on his face.
“Would you really have left if they le
t us? We don’t have the knife. We can’t kill the god-thing without it.” Haley sounded disappointed in Xandrith. He could hear it in her words.
“If it meant that I could get you out of here alive and give you a chance at living out the rest of your life, yes, I would walk out of here without the knife.” Xandrith spoke the words with confidence, though he knew that Haley didn’t want to hear them. She wanted to hear that he would fight to his last breath, no matter what the cost. She wanted him to be a hero, but Xan had always thought that the most precious thing a person had was their life, even when he’d been taking lives for a living. Heroes believed there were more important things than a few lives either way. She wanted him to be the man she’d created in her mind when he’d saved her from the cold, lonely world she’d found herself in after the death of her family, but Xandrith wasn’t that man. Heroes were for stories. Xandrith was just a man who was good at killing people, and he was reaching the end of his abilities.
“What about Kassa?” Haley’s voice had a note of anger behind it.
Xandrith shook his head. “She isn’t Kassa anymore. She looks like her, but she’s empty. I hope for her sake that Kassa isn’t in that shell anymore, stuck with whatever darkness has consumed her. I hope she isn’t suffering.” There was a quiver in Xan’s voice as he spoke. “She didn’t deserve to suffer.”
“What about Crow and Tilda?” Haley’s voice had taken on an even harder edge. “They are dead because they believed we could save the world. They believed in the cause, Xan, we can’t just give up on it now because things are difficult.”
“Haley,” Xan wanted to plead with her to stop arguing with him, but the fight was fleeing him. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t put you at risk to keep this fight going. The trolls will be upon us before long, and the Unth don’t intend to let us leave here alive. We are two very small people in the midst of two armies and standing in opposition of a thing with the powers of a god. It is time to accept that this can’t be done. It is time to pick up what we have left and get out of this place.”
