by KG MacGregor
Ninah peeled off near the front to greet some of her students from the GSA, including Thaddeus. She hugged them all and shared words that left several of them wiping away tears.
“That’s Ike’s little brother, Thaddeus,” Britt said to her dad. “He was the one who presented the check to the library the other night.”
“Look at that. Those kids sure do love Ninah, don’t they?”
“And she loves them. They have no idea how lucky they are to have support like that at school.”
“I wish you’d had that, honey. Maybe school wouldn’t have been so hard on you. And you might not have felt like you had to go so far away when you left home.”
Given her mother’s betrayal, there probably wasn’t anything that could have kept her in Kentucky. Before she could say so, an anteroom door opened to a pair of robed men, Lawrence Dalton from Friendship Christian Church and an African-American minister Britt recognized from the Faith Luncheon, probably the Martin family’s minister. Behind them, Justine walked hand in hand with a woman Britt assumed was Ike’s mother. Their families followed, JT and his wife, Carly, Trey and his family. Thaddeus joined his parents in the front row.
The congregation rose for a hymn that was vaguely familiar from her childhood, “Love Lifted Me.” Ninah finished her hugs and returned in time for the second verse, whispering, “I’m proud of you.”
Sitting between her father and Ninah, Britt noted a level of comfort she hadn’t expected. The scripture readings, hymns and prayers faded into white noise as she observed the interactions—the smiles, touches, and subtle exchanges—of the two families forever joined by this senseless tragedy.
Following a second prayer, Justine took the pulpit. “We started to take a vote on which one of us should speak this evening, but JT told everybody they might as well pick me because, let’s face it, no one’s ever figured out how to shut me up.” Justine had a charming way of putting everyone at ease, even in the worst of situations. “On behalf of John and Hazel Martin, JT and myself, and these beautiful families God has blessed us with, we thank you all for being here with us tonight. We’re humbled to see so many faces. Some of you have asked for an update, so this is what we know. Emmy is facing a series of surgeries, but I’m thrilled to tell you she was moved this morning from the University of Kentucky Medical Center back home to Grace Hospital.”
She paused for a wave of applause that was interspersed with a few cries of “Hallelujah” and “Praise the Lord.”
“Emmy sends her thanks for all the warm thoughts and prayers, and asks that you please, please keep those up for Ike. He’s still at UK with internal injuries. Our good news today was that his condition was upgraded from critical to serious, and doctors are extremely encouraged by his progress over the last seventy-two hours. My dear friends…Ike and Emmy both are looking at long roads to recovery. And by extension, all of us as well. In coming here tonight, you’ve reminded us that we don’t face this alone. And for that, we thank you more than we can possibly say.”
As Britt observed the bobbing heads, she acknowledged that Ninah was right about tonight’s service. It was less about faith and spirituality than a chance for the community to express its support.
“I thank you especially for your prayers because frankly I wasn’t up to it. I hate to admit in front of Reverend Dalton that I’ve had a real hard time talking to God. I don’t know how to thank him for saving the lives of my daughter and the young man she loves, since it was that same God who let this terrible thing happen in the first place. To be honest, I still haven’t reconciled that but I’m working on it, and I firmly believe God will make it clear in his own time.”
Britt was oddly pleased to hear Justine voicing the same doubts she’d harbored about God and his infinite plans. She’d long since given up on getting logical answers to spiritual questions.
“Please know that none of us here take comfort from the horrible crash that claimed the life of Kevin Causwell. At nineteen years old, young Kevin had his whole life before him, a life in which I choose to believe he would have found salvation. Our march tonight is also for him, and for his brother Seth, who is fighting for his own life at the trauma center in Louisville.”
Obviously touched by this generosity of spirit, several in the congregation were choking back tears. Even Britt found herself struggling with her composure as her dad leaned forward to comfort JT with a pat to his shoulder.
“For all my personal struggles with this adversity, I will not let it shake my faith,” Justine continued. “I see the hand of God in those who rushed in to comfort our children while they waited for the ambulance to arrive. I see it in the skilled work of the EMTs, of the doctors and nurses, and in all of you who drove to Lexington at midnight that night so you could give blood. And I focus on”—she gestured to the others on the front row—“we focus on your prayers and your kind words of support. In times like these, we need one another so very much. You are a well of strength for us all, and I have a feeling we’ll be calling on you for quite some time.”
“Amen,” Hazel Martin replied, dabbing tears from her cheeks with her husband’s handkerchief.
“Now this next part…folks, I tried not to go there but this needs saying. We cannot sit silently by while our political leaders fan the flames of resentment and racism, stirring up hate that too often leads to tragedies like this one. Feeding that hate is like feeding anything else—it makes it grow bigger and stronger. Many of you have reached out in the last few days to ask if there’s anything you can do to help us through this time. There is, my friends. You can feed love. Feed it, nurture it, share it with everyone who crosses your path. I promise you that love will grow, and together we’ll overcome these hateful times in Leland. That’s all we ask of you, to be your best selves and feed love. Thank you.”
Amid a chorus of cheers, Justine returned to her pew to hugs from the Martins, and an especially moving embrace with JT, in which they both cried. After taking her seat next to Carly, she stretched a long arm behind her to touch fingers with Ninah and Britt, a gesture of affection that again made Britt glad she’d come.
The Martins’ minister took to the pulpit as several teens, including Ninah’s GSA members, quietly began distributing candles for the march. “As we conclude our service, it’s my sad duty to share some news I just received. The Causwell family sends word that Seth was removed from life support at six thirty this evening and passed soon after with his parents at his side. Please pray for the Causwell family, and remember Seth and Kevin with forgiving hearts.”
A collective gasp was followed by murmurs of sadness, a remarkable show of compassion for the young men who’d caused so much pain. Their determination to love and forgive was deeply touching. How different her life might have been had her mother followed that credo instead of Brother James.
When the service finished, the church emptied from the front so that Ike and Emmy’s families led the march, with Britt’s row directly behind. Marchers paused at the door to light their candles before stepping out into the twilight. In a soulful alto voice, Hazel Martin began to sing “Amazing Grace.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
As the march dispersed, Justine drew Britt into a hug and said, “I’m so blessed to have such wonderful friends. And a bundle of thanks to the Longdogs for sending all those beautiful flowers. Trey carried them back here in his SUV. Emmy’s room at Grace looks like a botanical garden.”
“We were happy to do it,” Britt replied, though she felt guilty now for not making her own personal gesture. “If there’s anything we can do to help, all you have to do is ask. And that goes for Ike too. Please let his family know.”
“Thank you. Lucky for us, the insurance has most of it covered. But once their rehab starts, all bets are off. I’ll be signing all of you up for shifts.”
“Put me at the top of the list, Justine,” Ninah said.
“You’re back in school tomorrow…but you can come over and keep all of us company whenever you want. Both of you.�
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As the crowd dispersed, Britt took Ninah’s hand for the short walk back to her car. “Thanks for convincing me to come. You were right, this was about supporting the families. I would have hated to miss it.”
Ninah nodded solemnly, apparently overcome with emotion.
“Are you okay?”
“No…no, I’m not.” She looped her arm through Britt’s and rested her head against her shoulder. “I’m probably gonna have nightmares tonight.”
“How could we not?”
“It seems like no matter how much society evolves, we’re always gonna get blowback from hateful people who think they’re better than everybody else just because their skin happens to be white…or whatever. They don’t have the emotional or mental capacity to adapt. Or in some cases, the desire.”
Britt would have said the same thing an hour ago, but the service and vigil had softened her view. Here in Leland, the good outweighed the bad. It wasn’t even close.
“We’ll never be totally rid of people like that, Ninah. Even in San Diego, we’ve got gangs of white supremacists shooting up synagogues and setting fire to mosques. That’s why tonight’s service matters so much here in Leland, because the only way to defeat hate is for decent people to stand up and make their voices heard.”
“I’ve been teaching my GSA kids to come out and be brave. But it makes them targets of violent, unhinged predators like the Causwell brothers.” Her voice shook with anger and frustration. “These kids need a protector, somebody who cares about them and understands what they’re going through.”
Britt processed her words with a ripple of alarm. Ninah seemed to be saying she couldn’t bring herself to leave Leland after all.
“It’s not just Leland, Ninah. Kids everywhere need a champion like that. Big cities, small towns, even in liberal places like California.”
“But don’t you see? It matters so much more here because there isn’t anyone else to do it. I realized that tonight. When I went over to talk to my kids before the service, Abby told me they left the game together, all eight of them. They were gonna walk to her house on the very same sidewalk as Ike and Emmy. Imagine if Seth and his brother had spotted the queer kids out there, lined up like bowling pins.” Her quivering voice grew stronger, as if filling with conviction. “But then Thaddeus reminded them what I said, that they should go straight to their cars. If I hadn’t been watching out for them, they might have been run down too.”
“But they weren’t, sweetheart. They’re all safe.”
“They are this time. Who’s gonna keep them safe if I leave?”
There probably was no good answer to such a nightmare scenario, but Britt hated to see fear unravel their future. “It’s scary, Ninah. I get that. But if we let ourselves dwell on all the horrors that didn’t come to pass, we’d never leave our homes. None of your kids got hurt. Let’s dwell on that instead.”
At Ninah’s house, she parked in Emmy’s empty space hoping for an invitation to stay the night. They paused on the porch, as if paying homage to the dark upstairs apartment. Doctors were doubtful Emmy would ever walk on her own again, let alone climb stairs.
“Come sleep with me,” Ninah said.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to keep you up late. You’ve got school.”
Ninah pulled her down for a kiss. “I don’t wanna be alone tonight.”
Neither did Britt. “I know it’s scary right now, but please don’t rush into a decision about staying in Leland. I’m not saying I definitely want to leave, but I’d really like it if we could decide that together. It has to work for both of us.”
Ninah sighed and hid her face against Britt’s shoulder. There was no way to know if she was conflicted about what to do, or just reluctant to say it.
“Don’t cut me out, Ninah. I love you, and I promise to put you at the center of every decision I make. But I need for you to do the same.”
“You love me?”
“Of course I do. How could you not know that?” Maybe because she’d been too chickenshit to say it.
“I love you too. I can’t believe I finally get to say it.” Ninah withdrew from their embrace to face her.
“Why would you…”
“I started to tell you when we were at Torrey Pines, but you weren’t ready to start a relationship. That’s what you said.”
“That was a long time ago. I couldn’t let myself fall for you when I knew I’d be waving goodbye in the end. But that day at Torrey Pines, when you raised the possibility of moving to San Diego…Ninah, it changed everything. That’s when I started to believe we had a real future together.”
“As long as I go back to California with you.”
“No, not because you’ll go—because you’re willing to go. Once that sunk in, it hit me that it has to work both ways. I need to be open to staying here. I’m not saying I will, but it’s on the table. We’ll do whatever’s best for both of us.” She cupped Ninah’s face in her palms and looked for a reflection of the joy she felt at sharing her love. “All this time we’ve been holding each other at arm’s length. I’m not going to do that anymore. I love you. Simple as that.”
Ninah hugged her fiercely, squeezing even tighter when Britt began to loosen her hold. Gradually they began to rock and sway, a slow dance set to a shared heartbeat.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
“Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the mound for a special message from Longdogs owners, Britt and Vernon Iverson.”
From the front row of the VIP suite, Ninah rose to cheer. She was delighted by the crowd’s warm reception, helped along by Wesley’s glowing coverage of how Britt and Vernon were upgrading Leland’s ballpark experience.
And certainly, no small part of fans’ enthusiasm was due to the team’s on-field success, thanks to the Pirates’ decision to send Oscar back to Leland once Boomer’s suspension was up. After a drought of fourteen years, the Longdogs were playing next week for the championship of the Valley League. Tonight’s regular season finale against the Oak Ridge Atoms mattered naught in the standings, since the Dogs had already clinched home field advantage throughout the playoffs.
There was a nip in the air, the first sign of autumn. On the field, Britt was looking borderline glamorous, having dressed for her on-field appearance in skinny jeans with a white shirt and navy blazer. Her hair was piled in a messy updo, the perfect casual touch. She and her father jokingly passed the microphone back and forth as if urging the other to speak. Finally it landed in Britt’s hand and she addressed the crowd.
“What a summer, huh? How ’bout those Longdogs?”
In all the years she’d followed the team, Ninah couldn’t remember seeing fans so excited. Tonight’s crowd was easily the largest of the season, standing room only in the far corners of the outfield, which Britt had opened to fans with lawn chairs and blankets.
“Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the Longdogs organization, my father and I are extremely proud to stand here tonight and celebrate this great season of outstanding baseball. How lucky were we for the chance to watch future stars like Troy Cline”—she called out several names, giving fans time to cheer each one—“Cory Hanover…and for gosh sakes, Oscar Lopez!”
Conspicuously absent from her shout-outs was Boomer McBride, whose return to Pittsburgh had the Pirates in contention for the National League pennant. The real Longdogs were these scrappy, wet-behind-the-ears rookies.
“Dad and I want to take this opportunity to say thanks for all you’ve done to make our first year at the helm such an amazing ride. It might be our name on the paperwork, but these Longdogs belong to all of you!”
Carly leaned into Ninah’s shoulder and said, “Hard to believe that’s the same Britt Iverson who just four months ago looked like she was gonna spontaneously combust if she didn’t get out of Kentucky.”
“Mmm…she’s still kind of skittish about it, but she’s been pretty chill since the candlelight vigil. I nearly had a meltdown that night over who was gonna t
ake care of my GSA kids if I left. I think it freaked her out.”
“You think she’s gonna stay?”
“I honestly don’t have a clue, Carly. It’s like we’re both afraid to bring it up, but I’m pretty sure I’d go with her if she needed to leave.”
Carly clapped her shoulder. “I don’t think there’s a doubt in the world about that.”
What worried her was the fear of resentment, whether it was hers for feeling forced to leave or Britt’s for feeling forced to stay. One thing was certain though—they both agreed their love was too precious to lose.
“Six weeks ago tonight, Leland suffered a tragedy just outside the park. Two young people from our community, Ike Martin and Emmy Sharpe, were struck by a car while walking home from a Longdogs game.” The crowd grew solemn as Britt recalled the horror. “Make no mistake, that violent act of hate was meant to tear us apart. That’s not what happened though, was it?” She paused for reflection, which gave rise to a rousing round of applause. “Instead, it brought this whole town closer together. People giving blood, sending flowers and cards, holding a march to show our solidarity. And tonight, I’m overjoyed to welcome Ike and Emmy back to the ballpark. Turn around and give them a wave.”
Hundreds of faces turned toward the suite as Britt pointed upward from the field. The couple basked in the warm reception, which grew louder as Ike shakily rose, leaning on Emmy’s wheelchair for support.
Ninah rubbed her arms to settle the goose bumps. In honor of Ike and Emmy’s first outing together, Britt had insisted on using the suite for a private party with family and friends. JT and his wife joined Carly and Justine, along with Trey and his family. Even the Martins were there, having bonded especially with Justine over their likelihood of becoming in-laws. And there was Thaddeus, who’d decided to take a gap year before college. Not only was he helping out at home, he was holding down Ike’s job at The Bean until he was able to return.
“And finally, if you’ve been following the Longdogs over the past couple of seasons, you probably know our relationship with the Pittsburgh Pirates has been a little…shall we say, tense. We’re thrilled to announce that this morning we signed a seven-year extension. That’s seven more years of your Leland Longdogs!”
